Various

“ Terriss as Frank Beresford, bore a striking resemblance to the naval lieutenant in the Harbour Lights whose escape from one action (on board ship) to defend another (in a police court) roused the enthusiasm of the pit and gallery for so many hundred nights, and Miss Millward in both pieces was much about the same individual. But in spite of this conventionality, the play was decidedly interesting to the audience, who filled the cheaper parts of the house. In fact I am inclined to believe that the critics are right, and that The Bells will ring for any number of nights. ”

“ They had a French cook, called Adolphe, who seemingly had been obtained from a travelling Circus that no doubt had passed the Mission House in the course of a provincial tour.
"Oh, the monster! See the horrible man. He is a Mister Black," said Adolphe, looking at Umbugsoapygas. The savage in a moment had dragged out the little Frenchman's eyes, thrown them high in the air, rubbed them in salt, and replaced them in their sockets. Bong, Sir Harry, and I could not help laughing.
A little later we were called in by Mrs. Bang McSaxpence, and soon were enjoying a really good cup of tea. ”

“ To me Royat is an amusing place: it is certainly a pretty one, and its waters in most cases are decidedly of lasting benefit. What those "most cases" are, the patients themselves best know.
For expanse there is nothing like the sea, and for grandeur the snow mountains. ”

“ We had a very good lunch, the poulet à la Portugaise of Adolphe being particularly worthy of a second helping. After this meal was over, I went to the Rev. Bang McSaxpence, and taking him by the arm, observed, "I really think you ought to give up this sort of life. You see you owe a duty to your wife and daughter—especially the latter, who, if she does not receive any education, and only mixes with bloodthirsty cannibals, may grow up wild, shunning her kind." ”

“ Good trundling's a part of the game to be sure, but you see at this crisis it's scoring that's wanted,
Dashes the 'gazers, this downing the wickets like nine-pins in swamp with muck-moisture afloat all,
And then ninety-two for a tall-scoring team like our Notts, you must own's a contemptible total,
Middlesex plays in and out; lots of scorers like Webbe, Stoddart, Lucas, O'Brien, and Vernon. ”

“ Wemyss has done his share of speech-making. According to Denman has appropriated more than fair share. Nevertheless, he finds in Mid-August quite an accumulation of odds and ends omitted from speeches prepared during last two years. If he doesn't work them off this Session will be out of date by next. That no insuperable objection to delivering speech in House of Lords; still, freshness and appropriateness not altogether without weight. How shall he dispose of the accumulated treasure? Thought once of publishing it in single Volume, call it "Jubilee Thoughts, by Earl of Wemyss;" ”

“ Certainly this talented lady has vastly improved since she made her first appearance in Man and Wife, and has only to continue at the same rate of progress to become in a very short time a really admirable actress. Loyal Love is rather a foolish piece, and reminded me equally of the Lady of Lyons, Romeo and Juliet, and Box and Cox. ”

“ Three men following me about everywhere! On stepping on to Ryde pier, they make a pounce on me. Ask to see my luggage. It seems they are "subaltern administrators of the law," disguised. I refuse to give up my keys; in order to mollify them, make a joke, and tell them "they can't Ryde the high horse here." Only reply they make is to break my bag open. Very objectionable. Crowd evidently think I'm a London thief, and hoot at me.
Ask Detectives if they think I look like a Dynamiter? They say nothing, and wink. Seem to look on my question as a "leading," or rather a misleading, one. Thank Heaven! ”

“ Birds a bit shy, too. But we shall get among them presently, and then!— (sotto voce) . I say old fellow, why don't you join us—after lunch? Capital shooting-ground, but, ahem!—some of our fellows a leetle wild, and one or two regular cockneys. I wan't a real good gun or two badly, and then we should be safe for a splendid bag. ”

“ It is not very necessary to describe the lands or the people; and really the most remarkable thing in the place was a staircase, of a very wonderful character. Let the reader imagine, if he can, a splendid stairway, sixty-five feet from balustrade to balustrade, consisting of two vast flights, each of one hundred and twenty-five steps, of eight inches in height, by three feet broad, connected by a flat resting-place sixty feet in length, and running from the palace wall, on the edge of the precipice down to meet a waterway or canal cut to its foot from the river. ”

“ Ha! ha!" He laughed long and loud. His interlocutor stared at him for a few moments aghast. Then he clutched him.
"You mean this?" he asked, growing pale with excitement as he spoke. "You mean that you will vote for the Bill?"
"Not only vote for the Bill, but make it a Government measure." As he spoke he was interrupted by a commotion in Pall Mall. Some Junior Members of the Carlton were by way of a practical joke, common enough at this season, dropping a Unionist Liberal out of the first-floor windows into the area, and their merriment over the exploit resounded loudly down the street. ”

“ There is no difficulty in recognising a bride expressing admiration at a wedding-cake.
Need I say that after her marriage Tryleapyea's subjects had the most terrible fight with the subjects of her sister Saramariah, which was chiefly waged on the staircase. This happened after I and Umbugsoapygas had performed together a kind of "Turpin's Ride to York," from the battlefield. Adolphe escaped to post these memoirs—Umbugsoapygas was cut to pieces. Sir Henry and Bong in his blue spectacles, were kept for ever in the New Pendy country, and, finally, I myself was killed, funeralled, and cremated. ”

“ Looks, as usual, as though he didn't care a single tomtit for things in general, and shooting in particular. Often lets a bird go from sheer indifference, but seldom misses one from lack of skill. Sure he can't be comfortable with that lot—indeed, he owns it. ”

“ Loyal Love is not a good name for this funny little—it is only in four Acts—play. It is a pity, as the hero and heroine are always declaring that they would like to live and die together on a desert island, that it was not called Mr. ”

“ Having described the staircase, it is only necessary to say that the New Pendies were governed by two Queens, one of whom fell in love with Sir Harry and married him, quarrelled with her sister, and engaged in a civil war which rent the country in twain. This naturally occasioned a good deal of bloodshed. ”

“ Know what it is to shoot with a party one doesn't get on with. Our party not the right sort now; awfully mixed—doesn't suit me a bit. G. has let in too many outsiders. If they'd rally round me now, and let me pick 'em! But the picked rallyers are so precious few, and the rest, instead of closing up to me, seem to be tailing off after Gl-dst-ne, somehow, confound 'em! One Ch-mb-rl-n doesn't make a shooting party, even with Br-ght thrown in. Don't want to shoot against S-l-sb-ry, though, I'm sure. Much rather drive the birds his way. ”

“ He's the chap. All the English go to him. Best man in Royat." And if it weren't the hour for one of them to go and drink Eugénie water, and for the other to take his second glass of St. Mart, they would have a row and come to blows.
Puller tells me that there's one London Doctor, describing himself as a Gynæcologist ("A guinea-cologist," parenthetically remarks Puller) , who always sends his patients here. I think he says his name is Dr. Barnes. "He sends so many," says Puller, "that I propose changing the name of the place from Royat-les-Bains into Royat-les-Barnes." ”

“ Thursday.—House of Lords deserves well of its country. Is setting Commons example it will do well to follow. On Monday, as noted, Wemyss made long speech, and, no one rising to follow in debate, House forthwith adjourned. Same thing happened on Tuesday when Denman introduced beneficent proposals for limiting speeches. ”

“ The first man has to prove his right to be at Royat, and the second man has to admit the evidence to be incontestable, on the condition, implied but not expressed, of his own case being taken as thoroughly warranting his taking the baths and traitement generally at Royat. ”

“ Yorkshire doing very badly against Surrey at the Oval, and Nottinghamshire showing to considerable disadvantage with Lancashire at Old Trafford."—Daily News.
Oh, don't talk to me of the close of the Session, or who's to be Premier, perchance, in the next one;
Those questions, no doubt, may excite party spouters, but there is a far more important and vext one.
The Cricketing Season draws fast to a close; the rain's come at last with inopportune bounty. ”

“ Answer considered so very incriminating that I am immediately handcuffed and put in a cell. Never realised before what a very "fanciful and captious mistress," Art is, or what idiots "the subaltern administrators of the law" are capable of making of themselves. ”

“ For Puller likes what he calls "airing his French," and is not a bit shy.
The Band is performing another new tune! How is this? I can account for it. It rained nearly all yesterday, and so the musicians didn't come out. How did they occupy themselves? In rehearsal. Well here's one good effect of rain at Royat, it brings out the new tunes.
MR. PUNCH'S HISTORICAL PARALLELS. No. 2.
THE LORDLY CECIL ENTERTAINS HIS SOVEREIGN. HATFIELD, 1573 AND 1887. A Pretty Plate to Set Before the Queen. ”