Billingsgate

“ He is a poor devil, as void of truth and honor as he has shown himself to be of courage and resentment. He edits a low, dirty, scurrilous sheet; and, like his master, Gov. Johnson, never could elevate himself above the level of a common blackguard. No epithet is too low, too degrading, or disgraceful to be applied to the members of the American party, by either of these Billingsgate graduates. ”

“ Far be it from him to use Billingsgate language to the Tackers, but "the effect of their action, which, and not their motive, he had to consider, would undoubtedly be to let in the French, depose the Queen, bring in the Prince of Wales, abdicate the Protestant religion, restore Popery, repeal the Toleration, and persecute the Dissenters." Still it was probable that the Tackers meant no harm. Humanum est errare. ”

“ But if a man be guilty of a gross offence who upon a dignified scene violates the self-restraint and respect for the company which are not only becoming, but so much assumed that whoever violates the requirement is felt to insult his associates and the public, why do we not consider whether every scene is not too dignified for mature and intelligent men to attempt to rival in blackguardism the traditional fishwives of Billingsgate? ”

“ I was afeared they would send a Billingsgate contractor, who is a plaguy sight more posted up about fisheries than any member of parliament, or a clever colonist (not a party man) , and they know more than both the others put together; and I dreaded if they sent either, there would be a quid pro quo, as Josiah says, to be given, afore we got the fisheries, if we ever got them, at all. ‘So,’ sais I, out of a bit of fun, for I can’t help taken a rise out of folks no how I can fix it, ‘send us a lord. We are mighty fond of noblemen to Washington, and toady them first-rate. ”

“ The journals have teemed with this filthy trash, and even men who ought to have more respect for themselves—men contending for the gubernatorial chair have made use of terms so degrading, so mean, so humiliating, that a Billingsgate fisherwoman would have considered herself disgraced with. We refuse any longer to be thus bedaubed for either party. We tell all such to let their filth flow in its own legitimate channel, for we are sick of the loathsome smell. ”

“ I went to Brooks’s, but there was hardly anybody there, and nothing occurred in the House of Commons but some interchange of Billingsgate between O’Connell and George Dawson. The Duke talks with confidence, and has no idea of resigning, but he does not inspire his friends with the confidence he feels or affects himself, though they talk of his resignation as an event which is to plunge all Europe into war, and of the impossibility of forming another Administration, all which is mere balderdash, for he proved with many others how easy it is to form a Government that can go on ”

“ The irate king summoned the fellows before the beastly Jeffreys and the High Commission, as he had summoned the heads of the university of Cambridge. There Jeffreys exhibited his constant display of insufferable Billingsgate; and when Dr. Fairfax, one of the fellows, had the boldness to call in question the legality of the High Commission, he lost all patience. "Who is this man? What commission has he to be impudent here? Seize him; put him into a dark room. What does he do without a keeper? He is under my care as a lunatic. ”

“ This gave rise to the existing landing and wharfage dues. Ten years afterwards, the Corporation purchased Queenhithe, which, it should be remembered, besides Billingsgate, was the only place in the river at that time suitable for the landing of goods. Meanwhile, the enormous influence which the Easterlings had acquired in London, by means of the charters granted them by successive monarchs, was beginning to excite a spirit of competition and jealousy amongst the citizens. ”

“ But there stood the Confederate messenger, delivering the mandate of a foreign power to the House of Commons, describing England as a crawling reptile, exalting the Government he professed to represent, as controlling the Continent, and fearing lest the Imperial Eagle alone should swoop down upon his prey. And such [Pg 223] language, such sentiments! Was I in Billingsgate, that ancient and illustrious institution, so near the House of Parliament? Why, the whole code of morals and of international law was repudiated in a sentence, and our demagogues distanced in the race. ”

“ Hence we gather that at a very early period Billingsgate was not merely a fish-market, but for the sale of general commodities. Paying toll in kind is a curious fiscal regulation; though, doubtless, when barter was the ordinary mode of transacting business, taxes must have been collected in the form of an instalment of the goods brought to market.
Our ancestors four hundred years ago had, in proportion to the population of London, much more abundant and much cheaper fish than we have now. ”

“ Green, you are one of the bravest fellows that [100] ever was; who do you intend to go before, me, or Sir John Fielding?' I said, 'I do not care who it is;' then said he, 'you will go before me;' accordingly we went, and when I came there he committed me to Newgate.—In the course of this evidence it does not appear, that the deponent swore to the identity of any of the prisoners, as engaged in the act of firing against, or otherwise assailing his house, though he did to some few of them threatening him at Billingsgate ”

“ Watkin, (for it must be admitted that Mr. Young holds himself aloof from this scurrility) with the object, we suppose, of doing that gentleman some good. In our opinion they will have a contrary effect, as we have heard many respectable Liberal electors express themselves disgusted with such unnecessary vulgarity. It may be very true, that in addressing the people, it is necessary to call a spade a spade, but it cannot be at all requisite that the minds of the people should be attempted to be influenced by strong specimens of the Billingsgate vocabulary. ”

“ There is no reason for you to say you have been beaten. You have not. Paradise City is all right—that is, it will be.”
“We want to see Howard Milmarsh,” repeated Billings resolutely.
“You can’t see him. And if you don’t get away from here and go back to where you came from, there’s going to be a lot of arrests and some clubbing, most likely. We’ve telephoned the police, and they’ll soon be here.”
With this threat, Louden Powers suddenly pulled the outside sun blinds shut, and directly afterward Billings and his followers heard the window come down with a slam. ”

“ We locked up the plans, and nobody but men we trust saw the boiler in the erecting shop.”
“You don’t yet see!” said Mrs. Blake in a trembling voice. “Colvin claims somebody at the drawing office copied the plans.”
“His notion’s ridiculous!” Kit declared, with a laugh, although the laugh was forced. “Colvin ought to know a respectable shipbuilding company doesn’t bribe another’s servants. Besides, he ought to know nobody at the office would take a bribe.”
“All the same, he’s convinced your competitors got the plans. Tom was in his private room for half an hour. ”

“ He seemed to have no recollection of me at all, and therefore no grudges. I had made up my mind by this time I wasn't going to marry the frump, no matter what came or what Billings wanted, and I would tell him so in the morning. But whoever did marry her—and it looked like it was going to be the professor—would have some sort of compensation in Foxy Grandpa's entertaining stories of Eastern scandal.
Billings' cub brother smoked in a corner of the room by himself and drank innumerable slugs of whisky straight. Once I saw his father go over to him and seem to remonstrate, but without effect. ”

“ Not to be able to retort and wither an opponent was to Bindle a new experience; but to remain silent in the face of an insult from a foreman was an intolerable humiliation. To Bindle foremen were the epitome of evil. He had once in a moment of supreme contempt remarked to his brother-in-law:
"Call yerself a man, 'Oly Moses! I've seen better things than you in bloomin' foremen's jobs!" ”

“ The ludicrous expression in Bindle's eyes, the unnatural position in which he crouched, his having caught a burglar red-handed—it was all so ridiculous.
Then there came the triumphant sense of victory. The Professor was calm and collected now, as if the discovery of a burglar in his bedroom were a thing of nightly occurrence. There seemed nothing strange in the situation. The things to be done presented themselves in obvious and logical sequence. He was conscious of the dramatic possibilities of the situation. ”

“ Bindle's voice rose as the full sense of the injustice of it all began to dawn upon her. "You spendin' money on dress-suits and beer, an' me inchin' an' pinchin' to keep you in food. It's a shame. I won't stand it, I won't." Mrs. Bindle looked about her helplessly. "I'll leave you, I will, you—you——"
"Oh no, yer won't," remarked Bindle complacently; "women like you don't leave men like me. That's wot matrimony's for, to keep two people together wot ought to be kept apart by Act o' Parliament." ”

“ When a man is sixty years of age and, furthermore, when he has been a superintendent of a restaurant for upwards of twenty-five years, he cannot with impunity be rammed in the solar-plexus by a hard-headed and vigorous Italian.
While Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino in a cell at Vine Street Police Station was forecasting the downfall of the Allies by the secession of Italy from the Entente, Bindle was striving to satisfy the demands of the two sets of customers that sat at his tables. ”

“ The crime of petty treason was [281] established when any person out of malice took away the life of another to whom he or she owed special obedience—as when a servant killed his master, a wife her husband, or an ecclesiastic his superior. The wife's accomplices in the murder of a husband were not deemed guilty of petty treason. She was told the law must take its course. Billings and Wood hoped they might not be hung in chains, but received no answer. Wood actually died in prison before execution; Billings suffered at Tyburn, and was hung in chains near the pond in Marylebone. ”

“ The building of the Surgeons’ Company was in the Old Bailey; there was, therefore, no difficulty in removing the bodies from Newgate. In 1796 the Company came to a premature end through an improperly constituted Court having been held. It was attempted to put matters right by a Bill in Parliament, but there was so much opposition from those persons who were practising without the diploma of the Corporation, that the Bill, after passing safely through the Commons, was thrown out by the Lords. ”

“ Puffing contentedly at a twopenny cigar, Bindle enjoyed to the full the story so ably presented; but nothing gave him so much pleasure as the magistrate's closing words. He read them for the fourth time:
"Professor Conti sought advertisement; he has got it. Unfortunately for him, he met a man cleverer than himself, one who is something of a humorist." Bindle smiled appreciatively. "The conduct of the police in this case is reprehensible to a degree, and they owe it to the public to bring the real culprit to justice." ”

“ Now, if you an' Ginger both wanted to stand me my next pint, an' was goin' to fight about it, someone might say 'arbitrate'—that is to say, let another cove decide wot 'adn't no interest in the matter, an' p'r'aps he'd get the beer."
"Then why don't they arbitrate instead of blowin' each other to bits?" demanded a whiskered man known as Ted.
"Because war comes about by someone wantin' wot ain't 'is," replied Bindle oracularly. "Wot 'ud you say if I said I wanted yer watch?" ”

“ Lady Knob-Kerrick motioned the inspector to the other end of the room, where she held a whispered conversation with him. Presently they returned to Bindle. The inspector said with official coldness:
"There seems to have been a mistake, and her ladyship offers you a sovereign in compensation."
"Oh, she does, does she?" remarked Bindle. "Well, jest tell 'er bloomin' ladysillyship wi' Joseph Bindle's compliments that there's nothin' doin'. A quid might 'ave been enough for a ordinary slop, but I'm a special sort o' slop and, like a special train, I 'as to be paid for. ”

“ Bindle's cry had attracted general attention to Graves, but too late to stop him. With a bound he reached the door and tore down the stairs.
"After him, you chaps," cried Guggers, and with yells and cries ranging from "Tally-ho!" to the "Bushmen's war-cry" the whole company streamed out of Bungem's and tore down "the High" in hot pursuit.
That night those who were late out beheld the strange sight of a white-faced man in evening-dress running apparently for his life, pursued by a pack of some two hundred other men similarly garbed and uttering the most horrible shouts and threats. ”

“ There was decision in Bindle's voice. "'E's a sport, same as 'is father was. I'm sick of all this talk about a republic." Disgust was clearly expressed upon Bindle's face and in his voice. "Down at the yard they're always jawin' about the revolution wot's comin'."
"I don't 'old wiv kings," broke in Ginger. "There's goin' to be a revolution."
"'Ullo Ging, you woke up? Well ole son, wot's wrong wi' George Five?" ”

“ Germany didn't want to fight us," protested the whiskered man.
"Ain't you a silly ole 'uggins! an' you wi' all that 'air on yer face ought to be a man. The Germans 'ud 'ave come for us next, when they'd beaten the others. Besides, yer don't always fight for beer an' baccy; sometimes yer does it because somethink's bein' 'urt wot can't 'it back. Got it, Whiskers?"
The man addressed as Whiskers subsided, finding that opinion had veered round to Bindle's point of view. ”