Bumper

“ Spotted Tail, sure of his fleetness of foot, decided to challenge him to a race. Nothing would humiliate Bumper more than to be defeated in a speed trial.
“A king should not only be the swiftest and wisest of his people,” he said slowly, “but there should be no doubt in his own mind of it.”
“A king doesn’t always tell what’s in his mind,” replied Bumper. ”

“ They came toward the rock like an army closing in upon the enemy, leaping over bushes or crawling through the underbrush.
For a moment Bumper was startled. He had a vision of being attacked on all sides by his country cousins and driven ignominiously from the woods. But his anxiety was of short duration. The rabbits reached the side of the rock, and disappeared as if by magic.
Then Bumper understood. They had made a simultaneous rush for their burrow, knowing that this was the safest place for them. When the last rabbit had disappeared, Bumper hopped down, and began looking for the entrance. ”

“ Bumper’s stubborn nature immediately came to the surface. Rather than give up Fuzzy Wuzz and take a queen that Old Blind Rabbit had chosen for him, he would abdicate his throne, and leave the woods. He said as much to Old Blind Rabbit, who was greatly distressed.
“Think well of your words, O Bumper!” he said. “If you disobey the rules of your people, they will banish you, and drive you into exile. A king cannot be above his people.” ”

“ Bumper was so young and inexperienced that he didn't know a drain-pipe from an ordinary hole in the ground, nor for that matter a tree trunk that was hollow inside from a rabbit's burrow. Bumper was a city-bred rabbit, born in the backyard of a tenement house, and how could you expect him to know much of the things that ordinary wild rabbits learn by heart before their whiskers begin to sprout? ”

“ Then the lady held the umbrella over his head, and he looked up into her face. She was a sweet, womanly lady, but not exactly the kind of mistress Bumper had pictured belonging to.
"He is a dear little thing," the lady said, taking him in her arms and rubbing his back. "And so friendly! Why, he's trying to cuddle up under my arm."
The fact was, Bumper was trying to get in her muff away from the dripping umbrella. He [Pg 26] made a dive for the nearest open end, and squeezed all but his tail through. ”

“ She was a pretty girl, with red hair, a dimple in her chin, and one big freckle on the end of her nose; but her eyes were blue, and they made Bumper think of the sky which he could see through a hole in the roof of his house. I suppose it was because he had pink eyes that he thought blue was so becoming to little girls.
That night when he got home, Bumper was bursting with excitement. The day's experience was enough to cause this, but the words of the little girl who had spent all of her birthday money for candies and cakes were fresh in his mind. ”

“ Buster the Bear stood back of them ready to plunge in the river. Bumper explained in a few words what he had done, and what he hoped to do. Buster looked at him with a curious expression in his eyes.
“Well, well,” he said. “It’s too bad to spoil a good thing. I guess I’ll have to take a hand in it. Now both of you jump on my back, and I’ll get you across. ”

“ You're so dirty your own mother wouldn't know you. White! Oh! Ho! Ho! I wish you could see yourself."
Bumper did see himself, or, at least, a part of himself. Both front paws were muddy; his long ears were covered with iron rust; his fat cheeks were dusty and cobwebby, and to the ends of his whiskers clung specks of dirt. In his progress through the drain-pipe he had accumulated sufficient dirt to change his color from pure white to a rusty gray.
"I can soon clean myself," he remarked, "and the little girl with the red hair will help me. Is that the hole that leads back to the garden?" ”

“ Bumper found them in this unyielding state of mind, with neither one willing to give way to the other. Recalling their remarks about Billy Porcupine and Washer the Raccoon, Bumper smiled to himself. After all they were not much less selfish than Billy and Washer when put to the real test. It is always easier to preach than practice.
“It seems to me,” Bumper remarked after a while, “that we’d better make a two-family house out of this burrow. That’s the simplest solution of the problem.”
“How can we do that?” asked Rolly Polly. ”

“ Then Spotted Tail turned to Bumper, and said:
“What an idiot you were! Or didn’t you know it was Mr. Yellow Jacket’s home?”
Bumper was on the point of confessing his ignorance when he thought of the consequence. A king should know everything, and to admit he didn’t know a hornet’s nest from a ball would be a terrible blow to his pride. So he suppressed 22the groan that the pain on his ear and nose caused, and said indignantly:
“Know it was Mr. Yellow Jacket’s home! Why, what an idea! But somebody had to pull it down, or Fuzzy Wuzz and the children might get stung. ”

“ He was a king now, with duties to perform, and he wasn’t going to prove unequal to them. Bumper had very fine qualities, which, after all, fitted him for a ruler more than his 75pink eyes and white fur. Goodness and wisdom were better than fine clothes. ”

“ And the fox kept close behind him, gaining a few steps now and then, but losing whenever Bumper took one of his wild leaps. It was a terrible race, in which death or life was the stake. If he weakened or faltered an instant, those red, dripping jaws would have him.
When Bumper came within sight of the burrow near the big rock, he could see the rabbits waiting for the end of the race. They were talking and chatting among themselves. Spotted Tail was not in sight. ”

“ It was very dark, and it was impossible for [Pg 54] him to tell where he was going. His one great desire was to escape the pursuing dog or other animal close behind him. Consequently, he was unprepared for the sudden climax of his adventure.
The narrow tunnel came to an abrupt ending, and when Bumper shot out of it he landed in a big, circular space that gave him plenty of opportunity to turn around and look at his enemy. He had no more idea what kind of a place he was in now than before. It was all so strange to him.
"Hello!" a voice called to him out of the small hole. ”

“ Bumper looked up, and saw a big Sewer Rat grinning at him from the mouth of the drain-pipe.
"I never saw a rabbit run faster in all my days," laughed Mr. Sewer Rat. "I couldn't keep up with you. What did you think was after you?"
Bumper was very angry and indignant now that he realized his flight was all unnecessary. He disliked Mr. Sewer Rat and all his tribe, for they had often made their way into the old woman's backyard to annoy the young bunnies. Besides his bad manners and uncouth ways, the Sewer Rat was disgustingly dirty in his habits. ”

“ Sparrow. "Why not escape on a raft? Here comes a big board down the river. You could hop on it, and not [Pg 71] even get wet. Yes, you could do it. It's floating close to the shore."
"Where is it?" exclaimed Bumper, eagerly.
"Right here! Now get ready for a long jump."
Bumper was not only ready, but very anxious, and when the floating board appeared a yard or more from the mouth of the sewer he crouched for a spring. It was a long jump, and Bumper had some doubts about making it; but he put all his strength in it, and hopped high in the air, and landed safely on the raft. ”

“ Bumper was perfectly safe for two reasons. One was that Sneaky was thinking only of Billy and ignoring Bumper, and another was the distance was too great for Sneaky to reach the white rabbit in a single bound. It seemed like a just punishment for his rough joke in spattering Bumper with the mud. In another minute Sneaky would have him in his jaws, and Billy would never play another joke or raid a rabbit’s burrow.
“He who laughs last laughs the longest,” Bumper said to himself, smiling. ”

“ He knew that he had angered Crooked Ears and poisoned his mind against Bumper.
All the day he flew from burrow to burrow, spreading the evil news, until by night every rabbit in the woods knew of Bumper’s coming, and believed that he was going to declare himself king and make every one of his people a 70slave. There was a pow-wow that night in every burrow, and the talk of what to do ran high. Some were angry and indignant; others more amused than angry, and a few so belligerent that they wanted to set out on the war path at once. ”

“ It was a long, hard job, but Bumper finally gnawed away enough of the wood for Mr. Beaver to get out. When he finally stood on the top of the log, he was so shaken by the experience that his teeth chattered.
“Tell your people that they can cross my dam”
“Bumper, you were right,” he said. [37] “Everybody needs friends, and the time to make them is before you’re in danger. I won’t be so selfish again. Tell your people that they can cross my dam, and when they come ask them to speak a friendly word to me. I want to be their friend.” ”

“ There was no question about the admiration all the rabbits felt for him. Respect amounting almost to awe for his wonderful fur of white, and his eyes of a delicate shade of pink, made them feel that he was a real king of their tribe.
Bumper, after a while, grew accustomed to this 11admiration, and he began to feel pardonable pride in his beautiful fur. Perhaps, after all, there was something to the story the Old Blind Rabbit told. If looks made one a king then certainly Bumper was entitled to the position. ”

“ The rest of the birds had not seen him at all, and his presence was something of a mystery.
On the second day, however, Bumper was returning to a burrow that he and Fuzzy Wuzz had discovered for their future home, when he was startled by the plaintive cries of Hermit the Thrush among the bushes. At first Bumper thought Hermit was talking to her mate, but when the cries increased he hopped in her direction.
“What’s all the noise about, Hermit?” he called. “Can’t you find a place for your new home?”
“Oh, Bumper,” exclaimed Hermit, fluttering toward him, “Killer is trying to rob my nest. ”

“ Mother rabbit shook her head slowly just as if she intended to scold, and then said in the softest, gentlest of voices:
"I'm afraid that little girl has been putting vain ideas into your head, dear. You must be careful, and not let compliments about your eyes and ears spoil you. If you do people won't like you."
Bumper promised not to be spoilt by listening to what little girls said, and then eagerly repeated his question. ”

“ At the same time Bumper felt a little uneasy. Bald Mountain was a long way off, but the wind was blowing straight from it, and he began to think that perhaps this accounted for the uneasiness of Hermit, Black Cap, Mrs. Oven-Bird and Whip-Poor-Will. Fuzzy Wuzz might have sniffed the odor of smoke on the air, and the frightened birds had sensed the danger in the same way. Also it would account for the blood-red sun.
But Bumper continued to make light of the danger, laughing good-naturedly, and saying that Rusty must have had his wings singed in [48] flying so fast through the air. ”

“ BUMPER ADMIRED BY THE BIRDS
It isn't good for us to be too smart. It sometimes makes us vain, and then one day we overdo it. Bumper had some excuse for playing the trick on Mr. Crow and Mr. Fox, for his life depended upon it; but his success was giving him a little swelled head. He began to feel that he could get out of any danger by using his wits.
"It takes a city rabbit to find a way out of difficulty," he reflected, as he lay snugly in the hollow trunk of the tree. "These country animals are dull-witted. I do hope my cousins of the woods are not so stupid. ”

“ The next day Bumper had his turn, and then again the following day, but each time he returned home unsold. Jimsy was bought by a little boy, and triumphantly carried off, and Wheedles was captured by a girl. Even Topsy, [Pg 20] who was big and clumsy, found a purchaser, and disappeared from the backyard. On returning home the fourth time, Bumper was in a disappointed mood, and felt very unhappy.
"Why is it, mother," he asked, "that no one buys me? Am I so homely that no one wants me?"
"What a question to ask, dear!" smiled mother rabbit. ”

“ Nothing had ever tasted better to Bumper and he munched the succulent leaves of the cabbages and lettuce and the thick, fleshy turnips until it seemed as if he couldn’t eat another mouthful.
Then out of sheer happiness he rolled around in the field. The younger rabbits, taking this as a signal for play, began rolling and frolicking around, too, chasing each other’s tails in and out among the vegetables. Bumper forgot all the 19dignity of a king and played the hardest of any. ”

“ It is to be feared that Bumper had an inordinate conceit about his ability to get out of difficult places by using his wits.
So when Spotted Tail started in the usual way to work up to a challenge, Bumper readily encouraged him. “A good king is always a wise king, isn’t he, Bumper?” ”

“ Do you think I’ll be safe in this hole?”
“No, of course not! All the trees will fall down and be burnt up.”
“Then I’ll burn with them. Oh! Oh! What can I do?”
[61] Bumper stopped and looked at him. Stripe was a fat, healthy fellow, and weighed so much that Bumper wondered if he could carry him on his back.
“I’ll try to carry you, Stripe,” he said finally. “The river is nearby, and maybe I can do it. Run up on my back, and hold tight.”
Sleepy the Opossum gained on Bumper after that. The white rabbit couldn’t possibly keep up with him. ”

“ Bumper replied. “Well, this time you won’t get off so easily. If you don’t go away immediately, I’ll call all the birds and animals of the woods to punish you. They will outlaw you, and be your enemy forever.”
“That wouldn’t be anything new, Bumper,” hissed Killer. “They’re my enemies now. I’m going to have this egg for my breakfast. I’m mighty hungry.”
“No, you’re not,” answered Bumper, springing toward him. Killer dodged back and then shot his head forward as if to strike, but Bumper dodged and landed on the other side. ”