Flopper

“ Suddenly the Flopper shrank into a doorway. From amidst the crowd behind, the yellow flare of a gasoline lamp, outhanging from a secondhand shop, glinted on brass buttons. An officer, leisurely accommodating his pace to his own monarchial pleasure, causing his hurrying fellow occupants of the pavement to break and circle around him, sauntered casually by. The Flopper's black eyes contracted with hate and a scowl settled on his face, as he watched the policeman pass ”

“ The Flopper licked his lips, and renewed the appeal he had been making for nearly five minutes.
"Ain't no one goin' to drive me out to de Patriarch's?"
"Horses are all busy in the fields," said a voice, uncompromisingly.
"Yes," said the Flopper, with bitter irony, "drivin' each other around, while youse are here starin' at me an' won't help." ”

“ For as the Flopper stopped to rest, those near him gazed upon his face, distorted, full of muscular distress, sweat pouring from his forehead, pain and suffering written in every lineament—and drew back whispering into the crowd, giving place to others until all had seen. And so the strange sound from this strange congregation grew lower, until it was a sort of breathless, long-sustained and wavering note, a prescience, a premonition of something to come, a ghastly mockery or a tragedy to befall, until it was an awe-struck murmuring thing. ”

“ Madison broke in a little sharply; then, tactfully, his voice full of unbounded admiration: "You're an artist, Flopper—a wonder. You pulled the greatest act that was ever on the boards, and you pulled it as no other man on earth could have pulled it. Flopper, you make me feel humble when I look at you."
"Swipe me!" said the Flopper, brightening. "D'ye mean it, Doc—honest?"
"Mean it!" ejaculated Madison. "You're the whole thing, Flopper—you win. Come on now, Helena, buck up—we've got another little act due in about fifteen minutes—don't let a lot of yowling rubes get your goat. ”

“ It was the Flopper. And then to his surprise, he found himself being pushed unceremoniously from the porch and pulled excitedly behind the trellis.
"What's the matter with you!" he demanded angrily. "Are you crazy!"
"T'ank de Lord youse have showed up!" gasped the Flopper. "Say, honest, I can't do nothin' wid him—he's got me near bughouse."
"Who?"—Madison scowled irritably.
"De Patriarch, of course. He's noivous, an' gettin' worse all de time. He won't eat an' he won't keep still. He wants Helena, an' he keeps writin' her name on de slate—he's got me going fer fair." ”

“ There's no one can touch you when it comes to playing up to the house. And now, there's just one thing more—you'll need some one around here to help you and keep an eye on the offerings when they begin to come in. Well, that's the Flopper's rôle in the second act—see? Overwhelmed with gratitude at his cure, he attaches himself to the Patriarch with dog-like fidelity—beautiful thought!—get the idea? ”

“ Lose anything you've got first—lose your life. It's worth a private car to you with a buffet full of fizz, and Sambo to wait on you for the rest of your life. Get that? Don't lose it!"
The Flopper tucked the clipping into the mysterious recess of his shirt.
"Say," he said earnestly, "if you say so, Doc, it'll be here when dey plant me."
"All right, Flopper," nodded Doc Madison. "And now let's get down to cases. I've been able to pay my club dues lately, and there's money enough on deck to buy the costumes and put the show on the road. I start for Needley as soon as I can get away. ”

“ From everywhere, from every scattered spot where they had been, men and women ran and limped and dragged themselves along, all converging on one point—the Patriarch.
Madison, in the midst of them now, hurried—for it was plainly evident that the Flopper's control over the Patriarch was gone. ”

“ The Flopper's hat was in his hand.
"Fer God's sake, gents an' ladies, don't pass me by," he cried piteously. "I could work once, but look at me now—I was run over by a fire truck. God bring pity to yer hearts—youse have money fer pleasure, spare something fer me." ”

“ I'm glad you mentioned it though, it's a little detail I mustn't forget to speak to the Flopper about." But aloud he said, and there was a sort of shocked awe in his voice: "Steal—here! In this sacred place! No man would dare—the most hardened criminal would draw back. ”

“ De old geezer'll have a pile of shekels hid away, an' he lives by his lonesome a mile from de town. We sneaks down dere, croaks de guy wid de queer monaker, an' beats it wid de shekels—sure!"
Doc Madison turned a sad gray eye on the Flopper.
"Flopper," said he pathetically, "your soul, like your bones, runs to rank realism. No; we don't 'croak de guy'—we cherish him, we nurse him, we fondle him. He's our one best bet, and we fold him to our breasts tenderly, and we protect him from all harm and danger and sudden death." ”

“ Everybody has got to get into the reserved paddock by themselves—tell them that no man can be cured who has not got the faith to reach the Patriarch by himself—tell them to get up and walk to him—tell them what you did."
"Swipe me!" said the Flopper. "Say, Doc, youse are de one an' only. I gotcher—put it up to dem everytime."
"Exactly," said Madison. "It's their move every minute—make them feel that if they don't get what they're after it's their own fault—that it's their own lack of faith that's to blame. ”

“ Any ‘cute’ performance by which a man is sold is a good flop, and by a phrase borrowed from the base-ball ground is ‘rightly played.’ The discomfited individual declares that they ‘are all on a side,’ and gives up, or ‘rolls over,’ by giving his opponent ‘gowdy.’ A man writes cards during examinations to ‘feeze the profs’; said cards are ‘gumming cards,’ and he flops the examination if he gets a good mark by the means. One usually flops his marks by feigning sickness. ”

“ Sometimes a big spout rises up nearly to the outside rim of the deep hole, and then falls back with a sullen, vicious flop, as if some slimy spirit, there imprisoned, were angry and baffled at not being able to reach us, and smirch and scald us. ”

“ Mr. Flops looks round despairingly to the form whereon are seated the timekeeper and the referee. The referee hands up a small card, and this Mr. Flops holds in the air, with no effect. The Arch knows the result of the match, and, not being in the best of tempers, resents Mr. Flops's attempt to make the announcement. Presently a joke is shouted, and its annoyance goes as the annoyance of a London crowd always goes—swiftly and completely.
"The winner," cries Mr. Flops now, in his loud, hoarse voice, "is Henry Barden, of Camberwell." ”

“ A Fowler having taken a Partridge in his nets, the bird begged hard for a reprieve, and promised the man, if he would let him go, to decoy the other Partridges into his snares. No, replies the Fowler, if I had before been undetermined what to do with you, now you have condemned yourself by your own words: for he who is such a scoundrel as to offer to betray his friends, to save himself, deserves if possible worse than death. ”

“ On the sidewalk Flop stood in the center of the group debating what to do with the rest of the night. When Herrick and Jean joined, Flop turned to her with his manner of having just been struck by an illuminating thought.
"We'll leave it to Azalea. Which would you rather do, go down to Ramon's and drink mescal, he's just got some from Mexico, or do the Coast? There's a dancer at Frank's worth seeing."
"I'm afraid I can't do either. The next boat won't get me home till after one, as it is."
"Nonsense. Nobody ever goes home while there's anything else to do. ”

“ At length the flames, suddenly increasing in virulence, forced the jester to climb higher up the chain, to be out of their reach; and, as he made this movement, the crowd again sank, for a brief instant, into silence. The dwarf seized his opportunity, and once more spoke:
“I now see distinctly,” he said, “what manner of people these maskers are. They are a great king and his seven privy-councillors—a king who does not scruple to strike a defenceless girl, and his seven councillors who abet him in the outrage. As for myself, I am simply Hop-Frog, the jester—and this is my last jest.” ”

“ Fulk knocked loudly with the pommel of his short sword. He and Isoult stood together in the gloom of the porch, so close that they could have touched each other; yet neither spoke, but listened to the sound of each other’s breathing. A tacit sense of antagonism possessed them. The man mistrusted the woman; the woman thought the man an obstinate fool. ”

“ THE FLAPPER.
[Dr. ARTHUR SHADWELL, in the January Nineteenth Century, in his article on "Ordeal by Fire," after denouncing idlers and loafers and shirkers, falls foul "above all" of the young girls called flappers, "with high heels, skirts up to their knees and blouses open to the diaphragm, painted, powdered, self-conscious, ogling: 'Allus adallacked and dizened oot and a 'unting arter the men.'"]
Good Dr. ”

“ Dwarfs were as common at court, in those days, as fools; and many monarchs would have found it difficult to get through their days (days are rather longer at court than elsewhere) without both a jester to laugh with, and a dwarf to laugh at. But, as I have already observed, your jesters, in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, are fat, round and unwieldy—so that it was no small source of self-gratulation with our king that, in Hop-Frog (this was the fool’s name,) he possessed a triplicate treasure in one person. ”

“ I quickened my pace, I broke into a run, I threw my arms into the air as if I would cast off the weight that was smothering me. And so I came to my lodging puffing, panting, gasping.
"Why, what a fool am I!" was my first word when I had got my breath; "it's only little Fuffcoojah on my back, stowed away in my fur hood. ”

“ Thereupon the Professor and Peter went down stairs, and Flip could hear no more. He felt sick at heart. Even if this was Pipi, it was clear enough he was going to die. If he got nothing better than crumbs and milk, how in the name of all that’s feathered was he going to live? “What stupid creatures these men-folks are!” thought Flip; and perhaps he was not far wrong. But he did not know what a professor meant, and he was not aware that the genial old gentleman from the distant University knew almost as much about the food of willow-warblers as he did himself. ”

“ It was only last night that fellow, Hunter, called me an old fool in my own kitchen here. He wouldn’t have called me a fool a fortnight ago; ’twas I called him fool then, and last night he called me old fool; what do you think of that?—the man that beat Tom of Hopton, to be called, not only a fool, but an old fool; and I hadn’t heart, with one blow of this here fist into his face, to send his head ringing against the wall; for when a man’s pocket is low, do you see, his heart ain’t much higher; but it is of no use talking, something must be done. ”

“ But Eve held her peace. And we two watched the rock, with its leaning spindle, and ever it leaned the more, but it kept fast hold on the rock, though it was nearly buried in the foam. And ever the tide came higher, until it was buried in every sea that came. So it was come to dinner time; and I felt a great hunger that gnawed within me. For a clammer must eat, even as other men.
“Eve,” I said, “it is my dinner time, and I am hungry.”
“Oh, Adam,” she cried, “can you think about eating—with this to see? ”

“ He fell back into Floki's arms like one dead.
Quivering with rage and grief, the giant raised his earl as though a child, and turned upon the king.
"Thor!" he roared. "Do you still stand idle? Who rules the fell-folk?"
"Ha! Lupus,--that bastard fox!" cried Karl. "Where's Hardrat? Stay; 'tis a deed for his own men; they will not fail. You shall lead them yourself, Crane,--you and Liutrad. Those who have horses, let them ride; the rest follow as best they may. Five thousand of my Austrasians shall come after. Here is my seal-ring. Go swiftly to Bordeaux, and seize the Vascon Wolf!" ”

“ I have a strong dislike to every species of gambling.’
‘So have I. Thunder and Mars: I think it no better than highway robbery,’ cried Blodget with a great show of virtuous indignation—‘that is—except you know—where for mere amusement one takes a cue with a friend. By the bye, are you good at shoving a ball, Monteagle?’
‘Billiards you are speaking of. Oh, I like that game well enough, for exercise. I cannot call myself a proficient, though I can once in a while put something in a pocket.’
‘But you don’t believe in putting something into your own pocket—ha, ha. ”

“ When, worn with fatigue and driven desperate by his vain attempts to get away, the sufferer lies down flat and refuses to do his duty, the fowler is able to stimulate him without stirring from his hut. ”

“ Surely a more oddly-assorted party of fugitives never acted in concert to escape the law: girl, negress, multi-millionaire, and artist. Like a snake with four articulations, they wound through the grass. In the most sophisticated man lingers a wild strain; the stiff-jointed millionaire took to this means of locomotion as naturally as the negress. ”

“ The fowler’s professions of friendship for the birds, while he aimed at their destruction, may be paralleled by too many instances in real life; and however mortifying it may be to reflect upon, yet so it is, that the designing knave far too often succeeds in his deep-laid schemes to ensnare, over-reach, and ruin the honest and the unsuspecting man. ”

“ One day he joined his comrades in a game of bluff. Now, bluff is a game there is no fun in unless some stake is played for. The boys had been ashore, and gathered some pebbles and shells from the beach, and these were used for the purpose. Frank had great success. He won more shells than any body. In the excitement, he forgot his thirst, and all the accompanying troubles. He forgot, too, that this was a kind of gambling. ”