John Conway

“ Then she turned.
"What are you going to do with that walking-tour johnnie?"
"John—Conway? You couldn't do anything with him if you tried. He's miles beyond all that."
"All what?"
"The rotten things people do. The rotten things they think. You're safe with him, Gwinnie. Safe. Safe. You've only to look at him."
"I have looked at him. Whatever you do, don't tell him, Sharlie."
III Charlotte sat on the top of the slope in the field below Barrow Farm. John Conway lay at her feet. ”

“ In December 1822 the manager of the Bath theatre, going to Clifton to engage Conway, obtained the answer that he would prefer breaking stones on the road to returning to the most brilliant engagement. At the close of 1823 he started for America, and appeared on 12 Jan. 1824 in New York, where he played Coriolanus, Lord Townley, Beverley, Petruchio, &c., with complete success. Subsequently he delivered in New York some religious discourses. Early in 1828 he took a passage to Charleston. When the vessel arrived off Charleston bar, Conway threw himself overboard, and was drowned. ”

“ Conway—no memory that she had of him would admit the possibility of the change that had been wrought in him.
There was a sign to be made—a look, a smile, a whisper—which would flash perception into her, knit into compact form the thoughts which his voice had troubled, and confess him her HUSBAND, though hollow-faced and wan; though stricken as with age; though presenting the ineffaceable memorials of grievous torture.
But, until this sign should be made, he must be a stranger to her; a puzzle, perhaps; a man of eccentric habits, and of an odd and striking aspect—but not her husband. ”

“ Of course ladies had painted, but to work with the hands in wet clay and be covered with marble dust—to say the least. Miss Conway was eccentric.
She at once began the study of anatomy under Cruikshanks, modelling with Cerrachi, and the handling of marble in the studio of Bacon.
Unfortunately for her art, she was married at nineteen to John Damer, eldest son of Lord Milton, a fop and spendthrift, who had run through a large fortune. He committed suicide nine years after his marriage. ”

“ In the sale of his effects in New York after his death figured a copy of Young's ‘Night Thoughts,’ on which was written ‘Presented to me by my dearly attached friend, the celebrated Mrs. Piozzi.’ Conway was a good actor. Genest, a severe judge, speaks well of him, and a writer in the ‘New Monthly Magazine’ for August 1821, probably Talfourd, says: ‘Conway has a noble person, a strain of brilliant declamation, and no small power of depicting agony and sorrow.’ He was, however, self-conscious, ill at ease, and fantastic in movement. ”

“ He was offered the pastorate of Theodore Parker's old church in Boston, but preferred to return to England, where the battle with theological obscurantism and political oligarchy is more arduous. England has sent so many of her good and brave men to America, that it is but right that the latter should begin to return the compliment.
Mr. Conway, needless to say, remains a stanch republican. Like all intelligent American citizens whom I have known, the more he has studied our political institutions, the less he has been captivated by them. ”

“ Early impressions are always the most lasting. Never have I seen, but in our favourite, dear Conway, anything to compare with him, nor ever shall I see his equal again; and I feel that my affliction would be almost personal grief, should anything fatal happen to him at this time.... God, of his mercy, avert this great additional calamity from us, I most heartily pray....
"Everybody was pleased with the respectful and affectionate attention [of Sir John Salusbury] at the Ball.... I was surprised at some hints dropped at the chagrin he felt on the subject of your increased acquaintance ”

“ There is always some truth in gossip: and there was a great deal in what Mrs. Parrot had said of Mr. Conway, who, as we have seen, held no place at all in her opinion. But then sympathy for Dolly was to be expected from a woman who, if she did not know what it was to live with a drunkard, had known what it was to live with a surly man, whose eye was evil, and whose voice was thick, and whose characteristic method of expressing discontent was by holding his clenched fist under his wife’s nose. ”

“ Conway's delicacy of honour was satisfied, by bringing his old friends the Rockinghams to have an offer; and as it was impossible for them to concert a ministry, he has agreed to act cordially with the Duke of Grafton: the king is very happy that no changes are to have place. I do not reckon the change in Ireland for any thing, because Lord Bristol goes out at his own earnest and repeated desire. I am told that Lord Townsend openly ascribes his own promotion entirely to the friendship of Lord Bute. Charles Fitzroy lately, in a great meeting, proposed Lord Bute's health in a bumper. ”

“ Conway was drunker than usual to-day. Things grew worse daily, and he drank deeper.
It is one of the strangest curses of whiskey that as it daily drags a man down, deeper and deeper, it makes him believe he must cling to his Red God the closer. [Pg 289]
He met the old overseer cordially, in a half drunken endeavor to be natural. The old man glanced sadly up at the bloated, boastful face, and thought of the beautiful one it once had been. He thought of the fine, brilliant mind and marveled that with ten years of drunkenness it still retained its strength. ”

“ More colours than black and white go to the painting of a man off the stage, where corked eyebrows strike no horror, and blood-boltered cheeks prove nothing more than a neglect of soap.
Mr. Conway had his soft hours, when he would shed tears, smite his breast, and call himself a fiend—having reference, by this flattering title, to nothing but his behaviour to Dolly. ”

“ And so, partly from despair, and partly from that instinct which makes even the most sensitive of mortals wish to pour their secret troubles into another's ear, partly even from drunken recklessness, Edward Conway sat on his verandah this morning and poured his troubles into the designing ear of Jud Carpenter. The refrain of his woe was that luck—luck—remorseless luck was against him.
Luck, since the beginning of the world, has been the cry of him who gambles with destiny. Work is the watchword of the man who believes in himself. ”

“ Conway befriended in her bitter persecution by her parson husband for agnosticism. In 1875 Conway returned to America, and Falmouth town, grieving over the war ravages and his lost boyhood friends. He toured through the West, lecturing on Demonology, and the great Englishmen he knew. The death of his son, Dana, and of his wife in 1897, were blows, [Pg 101] and his remaining years were spent in Europe with several visits between to his brother, Peter V. D. Conway, of Fredericksburg, and friends in America. His life ended in 1907 in Paris. A great man, a brilliant and a brave one. ”

“ Accordingly, without any farther preparation, and without waiting General Conway's answer, he took his passage in a packet boat, and went off that very evening. Thus, you see, he is a composition of whim, affectation, wickedness, vanity, and inquietude, with a very small if any ingredient of madness. He is always complaining of his health; yet I have scarce ever seen a more robust little man of his years. ”

“ Could he endure to think that this delicate, gentle girl was linked to a man who neglected her, who might even ill-treat her, who at that moment might be squandering the money that had been given him on his own gross appetites, without thought of the wife and child wanting bread at home? What must be the issue of such a life if it were permitted to endure? Sooner or later Holdsworth must avow himself to save her and his child from that uttermost degree of ruin and misery to which Conway was dragging them. ”

“ Conway; “but it is unendurable to me to witness the best of women and the dearest of little children in want. My poor wife does not complain; but I witness her secret sufferings in her wasting form and irrepressible tears, and it goes to my heart, sir, to see her, and feel my miserable incapacity to relieve her.”
“Do you mean to say that she is actually in want?” exclaimed Holdsworth in a low voice.
“Yes, sir; we all are. As I hope to be saved, I haven’t more than two shillings in the wide world!” ”

“ Coming out of the war, Conway found, as did all others in the Tennessee Valley who sided with the South, that his home was a wreck. Not a fence, even, remained—nothing but the old home—shutterless, plasterless, its roof rotten, its cellar the abode of hogs.
Thousands of others found themselves likewise—brave hearts—men they proved themselves to be—in [Pg 45] that they built up their homes out of wreck and their country out of chaos.
The man who retrieves his fortune under the protecting arm of law and order is worthy of great praise ”

“ Conway is passing Mrs. Parrot’s door at the very moment that Mrs. Parrot is leaving her mother’s bedroom; we shall not have an opportunity of seeing much of him, having the fortunes of a better kind of hero to deal with; so, while Holdsworth is away from his lodgings, we’ll step into the road and have a look at the dentist, and follow him into his house.
He is a man with sandy whiskers and light hair, but by no means ill-looking. ”

“ He flourished his handkerchief and looked piteously at Holdsworth.
[340]
“How can I serve you?”
“Ah, sir!” exclaimed Mr. Conway, sinking his voice into a yet more whining note, the while a gleam entered into his eyes; “what right have I to trespass upon the benevolence of a stranger? of a gentleman who has already placed me under a thousand obligations by his kindness to my little daughter? I feel myself a wretch, sir, when I reflect upon the unfortunate position I have placed my poor wife in. I was flourishing in those days ”

“ And the Bishop remembered that in spite of his drinking no one had ever accused Edward Conway of doing a dishonorable thing. “How strong is that man's character rooted for good,” he thought, “when even whiskey cannot undermine it.”
“Where are the babies, Ned?” he asked, after he was seated.
The father called and the two girls came running out.
The old man was struck with the developing beauty of Helen—he had not seen her for a year. Lily hunted in his pockets for candy, as she had always done—and found it—and Helen—though eighteen and grown, sat thoughtful and sad, on a stool by his side. ”

“ He’s got dat big place on de ridge over yonder nexter Hilltop, Marse Conway’s ol’ home. I worked fo’ Marse Joyce fo’ ’bout ten years—eveh sence I come up no’th from Virginny where dis ol’ niggeh was raised.”
“And he let you go after you’d worked for him all that time?” cried Dorothy, setting down her coffee cup. “I call that rotten mean!”
“Yaas, ma’am—John J. Joyce is sho’ a hard man. I wuz one o’ de gard’ners on de’ ’state. One noon he calls us all up ter de big house. ‘Men,’ he say, standin’ on de gall’ry steps, ‘times is hard an’ they’s gwine ter be harder. ”

“ Dear Sir Gilbert,—I am told that the minister of Kirkton, in the Presbytery of Jedburgh, is either dying, or is to be removed, and that the living is in the [407] gift of the crown. I have spoke to General Conway desiring that, in case no unexpected difficulties occur, he may give it to my nephew's tutor; and he has agreed to it. I have since heard, that the living, though it stands in our list as a crown presentation, is alternately in the gift of Sir John Elliot of Stobs, and Cavers Douglas. ”

“ To-day, as he saw the Bishop ride up, he thought of his boyhood days, and of Tom Travis. How often had they gone with the old man hunting and fishing! How he reverenced the memory of his gentleness and kindness!
The greatest desire of Hillard Watts had been to reform Edward Conway. He had prayed for him, worked for him. In spite of his drunkenness the old man believed in him.
“God'll save him yet,” he would say. “I've prayed for it an' I kno' it—tho' it may be by the crushing of him. Some men repent to God's smile, some to His frown, and some to His fist. ”

“ Conway to break his word, Dolly would find food for dangerous questioning in the request.
He said, instead, “You will not forget the purpose for which I have lent you this money?”
“Trust me, sir; trust me,” murmured Mr. Conway, pressing his hat to his heart. “If you will give me ink and paper I will make you out an I O U at once.”
“Never mind that. Nelly is a growing child, and requires nourishing food: devote the money to her and her mother, and you will make me grateful.” ”

“ Holdsworth had often speculated upon their position, but had never reached nearer to the mark than supposing that they lived from hand to mouth, and just made shift to support the day that was passing over them. That they were actually in want, actually destitute indeed, it had never entered his mind to imagine. He believed Conway’s story. And it was very certain that, if the man had no private means of his own, he must be hopelessly poor, for he made nothing by his profession. In all the six weeks that Holdsworth had been in Hanwitch he had not seen as many people [343] call at Conway’s house ”

“ But she will be home directly.”
And Lily went to sleep in his lap, waiting. [Pg 582]
The moon came up, and Conway wrapped Lily in a shawl, but still held her in his arms. And as he sat holding her and waiting with a fast-beating heart for the old nurse, all his wasted life passed before him.
He saw himself as he had not for years—his life a failure, his fortune gone. He wondered how he had escaped as he had, and as he thought of the old Bishop's words, he wondered why God had been as good to him as He had, and again he uttered a silent prayer of thankfulness and for strength. ”