Woggle-Bug

“ For if a truly great animal is honored he gets a swelled head, and that renders him unbearable. They now regard the King of the Jungle with contempt, and that makes all my subjects self-respecting."
"There is wisdom in that," declared the Woggle-Bug, approvingly; "a single glance at you makes me content with being so excellent a bug." "True," murmured the King, yawning. "But you tire me, good stranger. Miss Chim, will you kindly get the gasoline can? It's high time to eradicate this insect." ”

“ The Woggle-Bug bowed with profound grace.
“It will give me great pleasure,” said he “to accept your kind invitation; for nowhere in the Land of Oz could I hope to meet with so congenial a company.”
“That is true,” acknowledged the Pumpkinhead. “We are quite as congenial as flies and honey.”
“But—pardon me if I seem inquisitive—are you not all rather—ahem! rather unusual?” asked the Woggle-Bug, looking from one to another with unconcealed interest.
“Not more so than yourself,” answered the Scarecrow. “Everything in life is unusual until you get accustomed to it.” ”

“ This was bad news for the Woggle-Bug; but he did not despair.
"Are you not afraid to kill me?" he asked, as if surprised.
"Why should I be afraid?" demanded the Sheik.
"Because it is well-known that to kill a woggle-bug brings bad luck to one."
The Sheik hesitated, for he was very superstitious.
"Are you a woggle-bug?" he asked.
"I am," replied the Insect, proudly. "And I may as well tell you that the last person who killed one of my race had three unlucky days. ”

“ Woodman stopped short and looked reproachfully at the Woggle-Bug. At the same time the Saw-Horse loudly snorted his derision; and even the Pumpkinhead put up his hand to hide the smile which, because it was carved upon his face, he could not change to a frown.
But the Woggle-Bug strutted along as if he had made some brilliant remark, and the Scarecrow was obliged to say:
"I have heard, my dear friend, that a person can become over-educated; and although I have a high respect for brains, no matter how they may be arranged or classified, I begin to suspect that yours are slightly tangled. ”

“ Whenever I reign people carry umbrellas; and my son, although quite polished, indulges only in monkey-shines! Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown! but if one is scalped, the loss of the crown renders the head still more uneasy."
"Couldn't they find a better king than you?" enquired the Woggle-Bug, curiously, as the children left the bower.
"Yes; but no worse," answered the Weasel; "and here in the jungle honors are conferred only upon the unworthy. ”

“ Just as the Woggle-Bug reached the door he saw a lady coming out of the store dressed in identical checks with which he had fallen in love!
At first he did not know what to do or say, for the young lady's complexion was not wax—far from it. But a glance into the window showed him the wax lady now dressed in a plain black tailor-made suit, and at once he knew the wearer of the Wagnerian plaids was his real love, and not the stiff creature behind the glass.
"Beg pardon!" he exclaimed, stopping the young lady; "but you're mine. Here's the seven ninety-three, and seven cents for candy." ”

“ The Woggle-Bug was delighted.
"In two days," he told himself, as he threw off his brilliant coat and placed his hat upon it, and rolled up his sleeves; "in two days I can earn eight dollars—enough to purchase my greatly reduced darling and buy her seven cents worth of caramels besides."
He seized two spades and began working so rapidly with his four arms that the foreman said: "You must have been forewarned."
"Why?" asked the Insect.
"Because there's a saying that to be forewarned is to be four-armed," replied the other. ”

“ Great horrors and crumpled creeps! Springing toward him, with a scowl on his face and a long knife with a zig-zag blade in his uplifted hand, was that very Chinaman from whose body he had torn the Wagnerian plaids!
The plundered Celestial was evidently vindictive, and intended to push the wicked knife into the Woggle-Bug's body.
Our hero was a brave bug, as can easily be proved; but he did not wait for the knife to arrive at the broad of his back. Instead, he gave a yell (to show he was not afraid) and leaped nimbly into the basket of the balloon. ”

“ But now my legs feel as if they were asleep."
"They are," said Tip. "We didn't bring 'em to life."
"You're expected to fly," explained the Scarecrow. "not to walk."
"We can walk ourselves," said the Woggle-Bug.
"I begin to understand what is required of me," remarked the Gump; "so I will do my best to please you," and he flew on for a time in silence.
Presently Jack Pumpkinhead became uneasy.
"I wonder if riding through the air is liable to spoil pumpkins," he said.
"Not unless you carelessly drop your head over the side," answered the Woggle-Bug. ”

“ He took the upper-right hand of the Woggle-Bug, and after adjusting his spectacles bent over it with an air of great wisdom.
"You have been in love," announced the Professor; "but you got it in the neck."
"True!" murmured the astonished Insect, putting up his left lower hand to feel of the beloved necktie.
"You think you have won," continued the Hip; "but there are others who have 1, 2. You have many heart throbs before you, during your future life. ”

“ Standing upright before our amazed friends the Woggle-Bug appeared to be fully as tall as the Tin Woodman; and surely no bug in all the Land of Oz had ever before attained so enormous a size.
"I confess," said the Scarecrow, "that your abrupt appearance has caused me surprise, and no doubt has startled my companions. I hope, however, that this circumstance will not distress you. We shall probably get used to you in time."
"Do not apologize, I beg of you!" returned the Woggle-Bug, earnestly. "It affords me great pleasure to surprise people ”

“ But the Tin Woodman, having no fear of fire, averted the stampede by a few sensible words.
“Look at the Field Mouse!” he shouted. “The fire does not burn her in the least. In fact, it is no fire at all, but only a deception.”
Indeed, to watch the little Queen march calmly through the advancing flames restored courage to every member of the party, and they followed her without being even scorched.
“This is surely a most extraordinary adventure,” said the Woggle-Bug, who was greatly amazed; “for it upsets all the Natural Laws that I heard Professor Nowitall teach in the school-house.” ”

“ Its arms were fully as slender as its legs, and upon a rather long neck was perched its head—not unlike the head of a man, except that its nose ended in a curling antenna, or "feeler," and its ears from the upper points bore antennae that decorated the sides of its head like two miniature, curling pig tails. It must be admitted that the round, black eyes were rather bulging in appearance; but the expression upon the Woggle-Bug's face was by no means unpleasant.
For dress the insect wore a dark-blue swallowtail coat with a yellow silk lining and a flower in the button-hole ”

“ When the adventurers reassembled upon the roof it was found that a remarkably queer assortment of articles had been selected by the various members of the party. No one seemed to have a very clear idea of what was required, but all had brought something.
The Woggle-Bug had taken from its position over the mantle-piece in the great hallway the head of a Gump, which was adorned with wide-spreading antlers; and this, with great care and greater difficulty, the insect had carried up the stairs to the roof. ”

“ For he had learned from experience not to unduly startle his charmer at their first moment of meeting; so he made a firm attempt to control himself, that the wearer of the checked gown might not scorn him.
The widow had no great affection for bugs, having wrestled with the species for many years; but this one was such a big-bug and so handsomely dressed that she saw no harm in encouraging him—especially as the men she had sought to captivate were proving exceedingly shy. ”

“ The Gump flew along slowly at a point directly over the palanquin in which rode the Sorceress.
"Be careful," said the [Pg 243] Tin Woodman to the Scarecrow, who was leaning far over the side to look at the army below. "You might fall."
"It wouldn't matter," remarked the educated Woggle-Bug; "he can't get broke so long as he is stuffed with money."
"Didn't I ask you—" began Tip, in a reproachful voice.
"You did!" said the Woggle-Bug, promptly. "And I beg your pardon. I will really try to restrain myself." ”

“ There are no fish of the shark tribe in the Bower waters? Perhaps not. Still, Wegg is established there, and would seem, judged by his secret proceedings, to cherish a notion of making a discovery. For, when a man with a wooden leg lies prone on his stomach to peep under bedsteads; and hops up ladders, like some extinct bird, to survey the tops of presses and cupboards; and provides himself an iron rod which he is always poking and prodding into dust-mounds; the probability is that he expects to find something. ”

“ All of a sudden Uncle Wiggily, Billie and Nannie fell into a deep pit which the bad Bazumpus had dug, hoping to catch the bunny. “Oh, dear!” bleated the little goat girl. “If ever we wanted help it is now! Where is that June Bug, Uncle Wiggily?” Billie tried to scramble out by digging his horns in the side of the pit, but could not. Oh, what trouble!
[Pg 8]
After Uncle Wiggily, Billie and Nannie had tried to get out of the pit, only to find themselves slipping back all the while, they suddenly heard a buzzing sound up above them, and there was the June Bug. ”

“ Now I am going to help you out.” Billie Wagtail shook his horns. “I don’t see how even a big June Bug can help us,” he said. “Oh, dear!”
[Pg 9]
After the June Bug had looked down in the pit the Bazumpus had dug, the insect flew away, saying: “I’ll soon be back with a lot of my sisters, brothers, cousins, uncles and aunts, and we’ll get you out of the pit, Uncle Wiggily.” ”

“ Wiggs got up and went toward the bed. The three little girls lay huddled under one old quilt, their faces pale and sunken. She turned away abruptly, and looked toward the corner where Billy slept on a pallet. The blankets on his bed were insufficient even for him. She put her hands over her face, and for a moment dry sobs convulsed her. The hardest grief is often that which leaves no trace. When she went back to the stove she had a smile ready for the sick boy. ”

“ Fifteen minutes later she was tramping through the snow, her cheeks glowing and her spirits rising. The Wiggses, while always interesting, had of late acquired a new significance. Since seeing them in the theater lobby with Robert Redding she had found it necessary to make several visits to the Cabbage Patch, and the chief topic of conversation had been Mr. Bob: how he had taken them to the show; had made Billy his office-boy; had sent them a barrel of apples, and was coming to see them some day. To which deluge of information Lucy had listened with outward calmness and inward thrills. ”

“ I come wooed by Heaven knows what compulsion across ferns and cruets, table splashed and bottles smeared. I come irresistibly to lodge myself somewhere on the firm flesh, in the robust spine, wherever I can penetrate or find foothold on the person, in the soul, of Moggridge the man. The enormous stability of the fabric; the spine tough as whalebone, straight as oaktree ”

“ I commanded. "Woggles—Bogie: Bogie—Woggles. Two very nice people." Bogie barked, put out his tongue and let the wind blow his left ear inside out. Woggles laughed in that excellent way she has.
At the Rectory she sang to me even better than she used to; the "Delight" was an achievement, Bogie being most agreeably surprised; there was a glow of firelight such as I love, and a vast comfortable chair. I felt lazy and very happy.
"This tea idea of yours was simply an inspiration. I don't know when I've been so pleased with myself and existence generally. ”

“ Wolf scorned him in his thoughts, yet at the same time he envied him. For did he not own half—the better half—of the pelts? At least, he owned them now—until the night's sleep claimed him, and shut his bright, boyish eyes.
“Them are sure fine furs!” Buck suddenly exulted.
For the first time the hot light went out of Wolf's eyes, and left them icy and glittering. If Buck had seen the look, he would have known no sleep that night. Only the black hatred of jealousy and covetousness brings that look to the eyes of men. But Buck rose and shuffled to his cot; and Wolf was left alone by the fire. ”

“ Redding stood on the corner where they had left him, and the smile died out of his face. Within a block was a jolly crowd and a hearty welcome; across the street was the big apartment house where his dark and cheerless window promised him nothing. For a moment he stood irresolute. "There is certainly nobody to care where I go," he thought gloomily; then suddenly the smile came back. "But if I'm to be Billy Wiggs's model, I guess I'd better go to bed." ”

“ Please, Grandfather Frog, tell me about it," begged Peter. "How did Old Mr. Gobbler get the habit?"
Grandfather Frog chuckled. "He got it from admiring his own reflection in a pool of water," said he. "You see, in those days way back when the world was young, people had more time to form habits than they do now. With plenty to eat and little to do, they had more time to think about themselves than they do now. Old Mr. Gobbler soon discovered that he was the biggest of all the birds in that part of the Great World where he lived, and this discovery was, I suspect, the beginning of his vanity. ”