Bride's dowry

“ Wealthy men sometimes refuse this payment or exchange a bride for a bridegroom. The dowry should be paid before the wedding, and in default of this the bridegroom’s father is made not a little uncomfortable at that festival. Should a betrothed girl die before marriage, the dowry does not abate and the parents of the girl have a right to stop her burial until it is paid. ”

“ A man could not divorce a dowered wife without paying back the dowry in full. Among some tribes a mutual deposit was made with the parents of both bride and groom to be forfeited in case either deserted the other, in reality a marriage bond. During the period of transition from purchase to dowry, if the wife were purchased, the children belonged to the father ”

“ In regard to the dowry, neither the husband nor the wife can enjoy it until they have children; for until then it belongs to the father-in-law. If the bridegroom is not of age to marry, or the bride is too young, both still work in the house of the father-in-law until they are of age to live together. ”

“ The Homeric custom, by which it was the bridegroom who brought gifts in order to win a bride, while the father gave his daughter to the one who promised the richest bridal presents, had early fallen into disuse, and probably even in the heroic period it was only customary among noble families. In the{136} historic period a dowry was regarded as an indispensable basis for marriage: so much so that daughters or sisters of poor citizens were often endowed at the expense of generous friends, or poor orphan girls by their guardians ”

“ No money is given to the bride’s father by the bridegroom, nor does the daughter receive a dowry, but she is supplied with a large trousseau, which is packed in handsome marriage chests with brass clamps and decorations. There is no betrothal ceremony, and after the arrangement has been made the marriage may be delayed for weeks or even months. ”

“ To this my father said nothing, but my uncle exclaimed, "Who told you that? We know nothing about it. As we are taking nothing in cash for the girl's dowry we thought at least you would deck her out in gold ornaments and give proper presents to the bridegroom. Do you think we cannot find another bride for our son?" ”

“ Odyssey, VIII. 318.} This is the accepted custom throughout the Odyssey (VI. 159; XVI. 77; XX. 335; XXI. 162; XV. 17, &c.) . So far there is no change of manners, no introduction of the later practice, a dowry given with the bride, in place of a bride-price given to the father by the bridegroom. ”

“ That which is effected by the dowry belongs to the dowry by its nature, and that is the ease of marriage: while that which the dowry removes, namely the marriage burden which is lightened thereby, belongs to it accidentally: thus it belongs to grace by its nature to make a man righteous, but accidentally to make an ungodly man righteous. Accordingly, though there are no burdens in the spiritual marriage, there is the greatest gladness; and that this gladness may be perfected the bride is dowered with gifts, so that by their means she may be happily united with the bridegroom. ”

“ There is yet another ceremony before the marriage, viz. the payment of "Seedanam," or dowry-money, which is a function of importance, and takes place some months in advance of the nuptials. The cash of the dowry alone goes to the husband, and enables him to meet the wedding expenses and to purchase the bride's trousseau. ”

“ That drawn on May Day is not given until after the wedding on November 5, and that drawn in November is given in May. The dowry consists of gold pieces in an old-fashioned silk purse, and is formally presented to the young couple at the committee dinner which takes place after the drawing. Of course, the husband's character is quite as strictly inquired into as that of the bride, and unless this is perfectly satisfactory to the rector, treasurer and trustees the portion is withheld—a wise provision against fortune-hunting. ”

“ Weddings are conducted in a ceremonious and noisy manner. The bride is perched on the back of an ox, and rides to the bridegroom’s house attended by her mother and friends, and followed by other oxen carrying her dowry, which mostly consists of toorkadees and other raiment. ”

“ Wherefore since by its primary signification a dowry refers to carnal marriage, it follows that in every other application of the term we must observe some kind of likeness to its principal signification. Consequently others say that the likeness consists in the fact that in carnal marriage a dowry is properly a gift bestowed by the bridegroom on the bride for her adornment when she is taken to the bridegroom's dwelling: and that this is shown by the words of Sichem to Jacob and his sons (Gn. 34:12) : "Raise the dowry, and ask gifts," and from Ex. 22:16: "If a man seduce a virgin . ”

“ According to the rank in life of the bride, it consists of a wardrobe, jewels, furniture, slaves, eunuchs, and a sum of money varying in amount. No portion of the dowry can be taken away by the husband against the wife’s wish. She remains absolute mistress of the whole of her own property, inherited, or otherwise acquired. (Voyages de M. Chardin en Perse, &c.; Lane’s Modern Egyptians.)
129Page 6. “He caused the necessary ceremonies to be performed.”—Here again the text is fuller than our translation:
“And the marriage-knot was tied in strict conformity with the law. ”

“ The wealthy give very expensive entertainments, the cost of which is defrayed by the husband’s father. The practice likewise varies in regard to dowry. In the superior castes, the wife generally brings her husband a portion; but among the sooders, the bridegroom gives a sum of money [Pg 99] to the bride’s father. One kind of the ancient Hindoo marriages required no ceremony but the mutual consent of the parties. Without witnesses, they exchanged necklaces or wreaths of flowers, the girl saying, “I am thy wife;” ”

“ Two-thirds of the amount of the dowry is paid on this occasion: the remaining third is held in reserve: if she survive her husband, she claims this from his property: if she die before him, her relations claim it at her death. The contract being concluded, the Lord′s Prayer is recited three times by all persons present: the priest commencing it first.
The marriage-festivities, in the cases of persons of the higher 503and middle classes, when the bride is a virgin, usually occupy a period of eight days. ”

“ Sometimes the dowry was given to such a girl by a number of citizens. The dowry was supposed to give the wife better standing and thus bring more respect from the husband and greater freedom. A woman might carry so great dowry to her husband as to make her the stronger partner and so be able to have her husband in submission to her and her money.
The day of the wedding having arrived, offerings were made to the deities that protected marriage, the oath of fidelity was taken, and the father declared that he gave his daughter to the man. ”

“ When a man marries off his daughter or sister, and gives her a large dowry in serfs and patrimony, and that daughter or sister, having borne no children, or having borne some who have all died, dies herself,—the dowry is all taken from her husband and is turned over to those who had married her off. ”

“ Among races at a lower stage of civilization2510 the dowry commonly subserves a similar end—that is, in case of separation or divorce, the wife gets back her marriage portion, though the husband, as it seems in most cases, has the usufruct of it as long as marriage lasts. But, in savage life, the dowry plays no important part. ”

“ Their life is one continued wandering; their wives are hired, on special covenant, for a fixed time; and that there may be some appearance of marriage in the business, the intended wife, under the name of a dowry, offers a spear and a tent to her husband, with a right to quit him after a fixed day, if she should choose to do so. And it is inconceivable with what eagerness the individuals of both sexes give themselves up to matrimonial pleasures. ”

“ These Moros followed in their marriages the same customs as those of the Pintados, in giving the dowry. Thus, if the man should, contrary to the woman's desire, break his pledge and annul the marriage, he would lose the dowry, and she would retain it, free from him. Likewise, if the wife left the husband she was obliged to return him the dowry. If she committed adultery and the husband therefore left her, she returned him double the amount of the dowry. ”

“ The bridegroom was mounted on horseback, tricked out in the dress of a harlequin, with a crowd on horses and on foot, going before and following after, waving flags, beating drums, and making all manner of noises, to testify their joy; while the bride, who was commonly a mere child, was borne in a palanquin, covered with ribbons and trinkets and jewelry, looking, as she sat upright in her doll's house, much more as if she were a piece of frosted cake being carried to the wedding, than a living piece of flesh and blood that had any part therein. ”

“ The bridegroom was as one excited by wine, for there was a wild radiance in his eyes [286] and an unwonted smile upon his lips, and he occasionally gave utterance to some jest, and when it failed of producing the expected mirth, his own laugh sounded hollow and strange. The bride, too, so pearly pale, in her white dress, with white roses in her hair, seemed like the bride of Corinth in the German tale. A few of the guests, huddled anxiously together, whispered among themselves, "It is a churchyard bridal." ”

“ But next day, when the wedding was to be, the Prince said:—
“First of all I’d like to see what my bride is fit for.”
“Yes,” said the stepmother, with all her heart.
“Well,” said the Prince, “I’ve got a fine shirt which I’d like for my wedding-shirt, but somehow or other it has got three spots of tallow on it, which I must have washed out; and I have sworn never to take any other bride than the woman who’s able to do that. If she can’t she’s not worth having.” ”

“ Some time after she is brought home to her husband, and then another feast is made, to which the relations of both parties are invited: her parents then deliver her to the bridegroom, accompanied with a number of blessings; and at the same time they tie around her waist a cotton string, of the thickness of a goose quill, which none but married women are permitted to wear; she is now considered as completely his wife; and at this time the dowry is given to the new married pair, which generally consists of portions of land, slaves, and cattle, household goods, and implements of husbandry. ”

“ Anyone marrying a wife, who shall bear him sons and then die, will not be compelled to return to his wife's father her dowry. The dowry upon her death shall belong to her sons.
163. In event anyone marries a wife and she shall die without issue, the father of the wife shall return to the husband the grain treasure which has been paid him by the husband. The dowry shall revert to the wife's father. ”

“ Their matrimonial customs are peculiar; they are allowed to marry only one woman, and although the principal people have several concubines, yet they commonly are slaves. They are accustomed to marry a relation (not a sister) , with whom if they find themselves unable to live, or if they become tired of her, they return her to her parents, without their being required to assign a cause for the divorce. The dowry given on the day of marriage is merely restored: this dowry is of two kinds, and which the bridegroom always pays. ”

“ During honeymoon times the fashionable married couple is always lodged and generally boarded for nothing. That opening wide of generous hands, which exhibits itself in the joyous enthusiasm of a coming marriage, taking the shape of a houseful of presents, of a gorgeous and ponderous trousseau, of a splendid marriage feast, and not unfrequently of subsidiary presents from the opulent papa,—presents which are subsidiary to the grand substratum of settled dowry,—generously extends itself to luxurious provision for a month or two. ”

“ My eyes shall serve instead of wine, For costly meats my maiden brow. My neck shall be his honey comb. His bed the dewy grass shall be, And heaven his stately canopy. His head shall rest upon my arm. O mother! give the youth a home, And shelter, shelter him from harm." S. J. B. LXXVIII MARRIAGE SONGS The Marriage Leader:
"Make ready! make ready," To his sister the youth is repeating; "Make ready my steed for the wedding, O sister! the young Doge [29] is waiting. I'm bid to the wedding, I'm summon'd to guide To the wedding the maiden—the Doge's young bride." ”

“ In early times in Babylonia, a man received a dowry with his wife. Polygamy was not infrequent but a strong check was placed upon it by requiring the husband, in case of divorce, to return the wife's dowry to her and allow her to return home or maintain her own establishment. The income from the dowry was enjoyed by both husband and wife, but it remained the portion of the wife and could be willed according to her pleasure. In case of a woman's second marriage, her first dowry belonged to her, subject to the claim of her children for one-half of its value. ”

“ You are free to have one or the other, provided that she is of noble birth and well educated, and rather without a dowry than a large one—in order to live in peace. ... [30] A Florentine has told me that you have been spoken to about a daughter of the Ginori family, and that she pleases you. I do not care for you to take as a wife a girl whose father would not give her to you if he had sufficient to settle a suitable dowry upon her. I desire that he who gives you a wife gives her to you and not to your fortune. ”