Maud C. Cooke

“ A woman's dress should be so much the expression of herself that, seeing it, we think not of the gown, but of the woman who is its soul. The true art of dress is reached when it serves only to heighten the charms of the wearer, not to draw attention from her to center upon her garments. ”

“ The trained skirt is a most graceful garb, adding to height and diminishing stoutness, but it is never suitable for the street. For house, evening or carriage toilets it is eminently proper and pretty. All the movements of the form are softened and dignified by its sweeping undulations until one comes to feel that short skirts are really a mistake for a house gown, since so much grace and beauty of motion are sacrificed thereby. ”

“ As whatever grows has its natural period for maturing, so has love. At engagement you have merely selected, so that your familiarity should be only intellectual, not affectional. You are yet more acquaintances than companions. As sun changes from midnight darkness into noonday brilliancy, and heats, lights up, and warms gradually, and as summer "lingers in the lap of spring;" so marriage should dally in the lap of courtship. Nature's adolescence of love should never be crowded into a premature marriage. The more personal, the more impatient it is ”

“ The Golden Wedding, from the advanced age at which it occurs, has an element of sadness in its celebration. The aged couple who stand so near the brink of separation can have little of bridal joy as they look back to the day when they stood before the altar in the first164 flush of youth, with life before them, or as they look forward to the shortened span of years that links them to their loved ones here. The gifts that are laid before them should be fitly wrought of gold, since their love has been as gold tried in the furnace of life. ”

“ And there is wholesome living and vigorous exercise, and daily and revivifying baths to call the flush of health to the cheek; and loving thoughts and kindly deeds to keep the eyes soft and bright, and thus to set the inroads of time at defiance for many years. And since a woman is no older than she looks, and since the prerogatives of youth are dear to the heart, it is her bounden duty to keep herself sweet and young. ”

“ Among the really admirable selections which are offered by dealers of many sorts, nothing is better than the bonbonnieres shown by confectioners of the higher grade. They are delightful in color, exquisite in design, and while they are made into receptacles for sweets for the time being, they can later be turned to a dozen more permanent uses. One design which is, perhaps, the most elegant of all, takes the form of an opera bag. It is made of the heaviest cream-white silk and has embroidered on it in dainty ribbon work forget-me-nots, tiny rosebuds, or jessamine. ”

“ Sweet simplicity alone should be the guide for the young girl's costume. The dewy bloom of the cheek, the clear young eyes, the soft-395- rosebud lips, the sweet curves of the lithe form that come but once in a lifetime, are what we want most to see.
No heavy velvets or gorgeous trimmings should be worn by any girl under twenty-one. To call attention to her ornaments is to detract from her priceless ornament of sweet and fleeting youth. ”

“ A woman’s surroundings of necessity play a great part in her appearance, but it does not by any means follow that luxurious furnishings have any more effect than the very simplest and plainest, particularly if they do not throw out well the beauty of the coloring. What shades of ribbon to choose, what colors to wear are far more serious matters than the majority of people realize.
The most stunning gown in the world, if it be unbecoming, will not be half so efficacious as the simplest and plainest of gowns of a becoming color and cut. ”

“ A quick, ungovernable temper is not as destructive to household peace and comfort as the nagging, carping, fault-finding spirit that sees good in nothing. A temper that is like a tornado in its violence at least clears the air as it passes, and is usually followed by quick repentance and ready reparation. But the fault-finding, nagging, suspicious temperament is a veritable foe in a man's own household. ”

“ Then, noting the inquiry thus suggested, he went on to say: “What a man most needs is that he should find in his wife a pillow whereon to rest his heart. He longs to find a moment’s rest from the outer whirl of life, to win a ready listener that sympathizes where others wound.” And she whose eyes are flattering mirrors, whose lips console and soothe, will find that she has secured a hold upon the heart of her husband, that the embodiment of all the virtues of her sex could not secure, were she wanting in this sympathetic tact. ”

“ When perfumes are used, it is a dainty custom to choose one favorite scent and to use that, and that only, so that in time the sweet, illusive odor becomes almost a part of the personality.
Flowers, fresh, dewy flowers seem the natural adornment of youth especially, and to forswear the pretty custom would appear an uncalled-for giving up of the sweet thought which dedicates the flowers of the field to their human prototypes. ”

“ I want to know the number and quality of his guests, whether he drinks wine with his dinner, and his views on sanitary questions; for this home-building is not mere spending, it is the shaping of human destiny.”
In a home things must be beautiful and true and good, and as a celebrated art critic says, “related to us, belonging to us, expressing us at our best; our taste and culture, our personal likings, our comforts and needs, and not merely the high-tide mark of our purses.” ”

“ There is no better exercise to acquire a good habit of breathing than reading aloud. Try how much can be read easily, without strain, upon a single inflation of the lungs. Never gasp, catch up, or piece out a breath. "You may add years to your life by the simple act of breathing." Every public speaker knows, or should know, the feeling of repose and self-possession that comes over him as he calmly, silently, faces his audience long enough to draw three of these deep, full breaths. ”

“ Read together, talk together of art, of music, of literature, of the stirring events of the outer world, and put afar the evil day when topics of mutual interest shall have been worn so threadbare that the average man and woman must feel a strange desire to fall asleep directly dinner is over.
Then, too, the children hunger for new ideas, and one of the greatest educational advantages they can enjoy is to listen daily to the conversation of intelligent people. ”

“ In our own customs of salutation we bare the head in token of respect, never thinking that in the olden time it was an act of adoration practiced before gods and rulers. Our formal bow is simply the modification of a servile prostration, and the graceful bow of a lady of society is but the last remaining trace of a genuflection. When we rise and stand as our friends enter, or leave, our reception-room, it is an act of respect, it was once an act of homage. ”

“ The contact of many minds is a constant stimulus to mental activity and its outward expression in animated conversation. It lends new power to brilliancy of talent, and quickens, to a certain extent, even then the lowest and dullest of intellects.
Everyone has been surprised and delighted at times by some unexpectedly brilliant remark that has flashed from his lips during the course of some animated exchange of badinage and repartee, and there is no one but realizes how the mind acquires breadth and the opinions grow tolerant as one converses with persons of intelligence and culture. ”

“ She is quiet, she is reposeful, she has the tact that puts every one with whom she meets at ease, and, above all, she is sympathetic. A judiciously expressed sympathy with our fellow-beings is one of the highest attributes of our nature.
"Unite sympathy to observation and the dead spring to life." It is tact to so express that sympathy as not to seem aware of the weakness that we would support and conceal from others. Madame Récamier had this gift of hidden sympathy, this power of drawing out the best that was in those who approached her. ”

“ The removal of a gentleman’s glove in shaking hands with a lady is the relic of a habit based on necessity, and dating back to a day when the knight of old removed his iron gauntlet, lest he crush the maiden’s hand within its grasp. ”

“ Too much gilding, too many gaudy oil paintings attract the eye and distract the mind.
There is a simple picture in my room, red curtains, a white-robed child kneeling, that is all, but everything in it harmonizes, and it harmonizes with the furnishings of the room, and my eye is often drawn toward it.
One authority objects to portraits as a decoration. "Their presence, if at all impressive, is too stimulating."
Picture frames should never be so gorgeous as to distract the mind from the picture. "Frames are to protect the picture and relate it to the walls." ”

“ Many a wife has, by exercising her own self-control, subdued and shamed a tyrannical, evil-tempered husband into a better disposition, but never by argument, dispute, or anger on her part.
Many a husband, too, has by the firmness and sweetness of his own temper, won his young, impatient wife, tried by the half-understood cares of her new existence, to evenness of spirit and control of temper. “It is impossible to be cross where Charlie is,” said one young wife, taken from a home where self-control had never been taught. ”

“ Some ladies make it a point to be "at home" almost every day at a certain hour, and serve tea or coffee in their drawing-rooms, accompanied by either wafers, maccaroons, fancy cakes, or small delicate sandwiches, and perhaps bouillon for masculine callers.
Such a lady who is bright and interesting, who gives a warm welcome, yet does not bind any one to a longer stay than the conventional ten minutes, is sure of drawing about her a delightful circle of acquaintances, men and women alike being pleased to drop in on their way home from the city, or from more pretentious gatherings. ”

“ Slashes are at all times a most beautiful decoration. At shoulder, elbow, breast, edge of a flattened cap, the knees, cut just where a devotee of comfort might cut them to give more freedom of movement. The slash forms an unrivalled opportunity for displays of-392- color. Deep blue, parting to display a glimpse of amber, white through black, the combinations are endless, and the whole gives the idea of a glimpse of an undergarment through an outer one. The contrast of a lining of vest, sleeve or panel is also a harmonious ornament. ”

“ The laugh, or broad smile that half closes, or squints the eyes, engraves those fine ray-like, much-dreaded lines about the eye, known as crow's feet. Remember that "laughter ages the face more than tears." Smile more often with the eyes. ”

“ I feel that a mother's sorrow for the loss of a beloved child cannot be assuaged by the commonplaces of condolence, yet I must write a few lines to assure you of my heartfelt sympathy in your grief. There is one thing, however, that should soften the sharpness of a mother's agony under such a bereavement. It is the reflection that "little children" are pure and guileless, and that of such is the kingdom of heaven. ”

“ In conversing, too many educated men fall into the error of talking commonplaces to all women alike, as if "small talk," to the exclusion of all weightier matters, were the only species of conversation suited to a woman's ear. On the contrary, she is more often either hurt or angered at your evident condescension, or, on the other hand, she credits you with just the amount of knowledge that you have evinced in your conversation with her.
In the search after suitable topics it is well to remember that all are pleased by a display of interest in their especial affairs. ”

“ A small dinner of one's most intimate friends is easily arranged. An eminent artist, author, musician, to pose as chief guest, renders it always easy to select among one's other acquaintances a sufficient number who would be pleased with, and pleasing to, this bright, particular star. Or, if it be a bride, or a woman of fashion, to whom the courtesy is to be extended, it is equally easy to find a sufficient number of guests of similar social standing and aspirations to make the occasion a success. ”

“ A lapse of time will brush the bloom from our sentences and nothing can bring back again the tender grace that transfigured the over-sweetness of some little written sentiment, or redeem it from the realm of the bombastic in our eyes to-day. ”

“ On the road the woman who wishes to ride à la mode has to know a number of little things that are overlooked by another woman, just as the smart set have a code for riding and driving that is as inexorable as that they should not eat with their knives or put sugar on oysters. Society insists on an upright position, with, of course, no attempt at racing pace. ”