George Elliott Howard

“ Here we have a double paradox, two irreconcilable contradictions, which in due time produced their natural evil fruit. On the one hand, marriage is a sacrament, a holy mystery, yet it rests upon a mere human contract. ”

“ What proper check is society placing upon the marriage of the unfit? Is there any boy or girl so immature if only the legal age of consent has been reached; is there any "delinquent" so dangerous through inherited tendencies to disease or crime; is there any worn out debauchee, who cannot somewhere find a magistrate or a priest to tie the "sacred" knot? It is a very low moral sentiment which tolerates modern wife-purchase or husband-purchase for bread, title, or social position. ”

“ It is not for the true interests of morals or of family life that the law should brand as immoral, unions which those who contract them feel and know to be perfectly innocent, and which are fully sanctioned by the general voice of the civilised world, by an overwhelming majority of the English race, by a great and steadily increasing weight of public opinion at home, and by repeated majorities in the House of Commons. ”

“ The present English law.—It is, indeed, wonderful that a great nation, priding herself on a love of equity and social liberty, should thus for five generations tolerate an invidious indulgence, rather than frankly and courageously to free herself from the shackles of an ecclesiastical tradition! But even in England, so far as the state is concerned, the dogma that marriage is an indissoluble bond has finally run its course. A partial remedy for the scandals and hardships of the existing system was at last grudgingly provided in the civil divorce law of 1857. ”

“ It is just as illogical to assume that the prevalence of divorce in the United States is a proof of moral decadence as compared with other countries in which divorce is prohibited or more restricted. To forbid the use of a remedy does not prove that there is no disease. Is there any good reason for believing that what Tocqueville said fifty years ago is not true today? "Assuredly," he declares, "America is the country in the world where the marriage tie is most respected and where the highest and justest idea of conjugal happiness has been conceived." ”

“ Now if we consider that one or more brothers may each become the husband of separate wives by virtue of having each paid a dower, and that younger brothers as they grow to age of maturity, and other brothers as they become widowed, may each either take separate wives or purchase shares in those already in the family, we can at once understand that any degree of complication in perfectly lawful wedded life may be met with, from the sample of the single man living with a single wife to that of the group of relatives married to a group of wives. ”

“ Christianity does not "alter any Civil Right." In the "mean time, if there be such a Law or Custom for their Freedom, to encourage 'em to Christianity, be it reasonable or otherwise, this is certain, that none can excuse those who for that Reason should in any way hinder or discourage 'em from being Christians; some of whose excuses are almost too shameful to repeat, since they seem to reflect on the Christian Religion, as if that made Men more untractable and ungovernable, than when bred in Ignorance and Heathenism." ”

“ Yet the common-law marriage is now supported on two principal grounds. The innocent offspring, we are told, ought not to suffer because the parents have neglected the formalities prescribed by a mere statute. Moreover, to declare an irregular, perhaps a clandestine, union void is to invade the most sacred right of the individual. There is urgent need that the American people should realize the fallacy of such arguments. Far better that the children of a delinquent minority should bear the stain of illegitimacy than that the welfare of the whole social body should be endangered. ”

“ The family union in which man originally finds himself is not an essentially human but likewise an animal fact, since that mode of common social life is found with the greater part of animals and always [100] among the higher. It is the necessity of rearing the young which unites the parents and gives them a common life for a shorter or longer period; indeed in some species this marriage of love and care continues throughout their whole existence. Hence the fact of family sociality is not an exclusive product of humanity, but of the universal laws of the whole animal life upon the earth. ”

“ With the rise of property, industry, and a more complex social organization, giving birth to new desires and ambitions, contract by the guardian in part supersedes self-betrothal. Purchase and its occasional alternative, capture, depriving woman of her natural right of assent, tend to reduce the wife to concubinage and domestic slavery. But fortunately the victory is not complete. Just as monogamy is never displaced by polygyny as the natural type of marriage, so the consent of woman as the normal condition of matrimonial union is never entirely destroyed by wife-purchase. ”

“ In an age when most wise and patriotic men desire that the influence and character of the Upper House should be upheld and strengthened, few things can be more deplorable than that this House should have suffered itself to be made the representative of a swiftly vanishing superstition, the chief instrument in perpetuating a paltry and an ignoble persecution. ”

“ The problem of individual liberty has become the problem of social liberty. Individualization for the sake of socialization must continue its beneficent work. There must be growth, constant readjustment. Marriage will in truth be holy if it rests on the free trothplight of equals whose love is deep enough to embrace a rational regard for the rights of posterity. The home will not have less sanctity when through it flows the stream of the larger human life. ”

“ The first series of relationships is seen in the Arunta tribe, where "no man will lend his wife to anyone who does not belong to the particular group with which it is lawful for her to have marital relations—she is, in fact, only lent to a man whom she calls Unwana, just as she calls her own husband, and though this may undoubtedly be spoken of as an act of hospitality, it may with equal justice be regarded as evidence of the very clear recognition of group relationship, and as evidence also in favor of the former existence of group marriage." ”

“ Is marriage not now, at bottom, an establishment for the support of woman? Is not maintenance the price which the husband pays for the appendage to himself? And because the supply generally exceeds the demand—that is, the effective demand—has woman not often to accept the offer of the first man who seems able to perform this pecuniary obligation? ”

“ Differences "in divorce about dowries, jointures, and the like, besides the punishing of adultery," ought indeed to be referred to the magistrate; yet "against the will and consent of both parties, or of the husband alone," the "absolute and final hindering of divorce" cannot rightly "belong to any civil or earthly power." For "ofttimes the causes of seeking divorce reside so deeply in the radical and innocent affections of nature, as is not within the diocese of law to tamper with." Among such "deep and serious regresses of nature" is hate, "of all things the mightiest divider." ”

“ But the house-mother holds a worthy position in the domestic worship. From the first kindling of the hearth-fire at the nuptials, she appears as co-priestess and helper of her husband in the sacred rites. The whole life-partnership of the wedded pair is shaped and dominated by lofty religious motives. The Aryan housewife is not the chattel of her husband; she is a free woman and shares in his highest sacred functions. The primary purpose of the union is the birth of a legitimate son to perpetuate the paternal line and to foster the ancestral cult. ”

“ If we consider the details of our legislation, as already analyzed in the sixteenth chapter, we perceive in nearly every department urgent need of reform, often of radical innovation. Almost everywhere there is a want of clearness, certainty, and simplicity; and this defect is all the more harmful because of the lack of uniformity among the different states. Diversity, even conflict, in every branch of state legislation is a burdensome incident of the federal system; and in no branch is the evil more formidable than in the field of marriage and divorce. ”

“ V. BREACH OF PROMISE AND MARRIAGE PORTIONS
The New England contraction or public betrothal, when its social and legal consequences are considered, is thus seen to be an institution of far more historical interest than the scanty attention it has hitherto received would lead one to infer. This is all the more apparent when the accompanying practice of legal courtship is kept in view. Never, perhaps, in any modern society has parental control been so pronounced. But if consent were once given and sealed by a contract in due form, it could not be lightly withdrawn. ”

“ Hence Westermarck defines marriage, from a scientific point of view, as a "more or less durable connection between male and female, lasting beyond the mere act of propagation till after the birth of offspring;" and Starcke, in like spirit, declares that marriage in the widest sense is "only a connection between man and woman which is of more than momentary duration, and as long as it endures they seek for subsistence in common." ”

“ With unsparing hand they have laid bare the flaws in our domestic institutions as they really exist. They have clearly proved that the problems of marriage and the family can be solved only by grasping their relations to the economic system. They have shown that progress lies along the line of the complete emancipation of woman and the absolute equality of the sexes in marriage. In accomplishing all this they have in effect done much to arouse in the popular mind a loftier ideal of wedded life.
The liberation of woman in every one of its aspects profoundly involves the destiny of the family. ”

“ In truth, in the primitive view, relationship is exactly limited by patria potestas. Where the potestas begins, kinship begins; and therefore adoptive relatives are among the kindred. Where the potestas ends, kinship ends; so that a son emancipated by his father loses all rights of agnation. And here we have the reason why the descendants of females are outside the limits of archaic kinship." Indeed "it is obvious that the organization of primitive societies would have been confounded, if men had called themselves relatives of their mother's relatives." ”

“ No disciple of Hillel was ever more thoroughly persuaded that mere dislike is adequate cause for putting away a wife at the sole command of the husband than was he. "No libertine, for the sake of wickedness and gratification of low desire, ever demanded greater license in marriage than Milton in the name of religion demanded for Christian men, in order that they might find meet-helps, and escape the grievances of uncongenial wedlock," though doubtless his sole aim was the attainment of domestic purity and happiness. ”

“ As a preliminary to a general reform of our marriage laws as a whole it is earnestly to be desired that every state or territory not already emancipated should enact a statute as clear and decisive as that of Kentucky, Utah, or New York, absolutely repudiating the common-law contract. It is only through legislation that this revolution can be effected. It is not the proper function of the courts to attempt it. ”

“ Still, granting all that can be said for the conventual life, the motives which sustained it only throw into bolder relief the social evils of the age and the low ideal of marriage fostered by asceticism itself. History all too plainly shows that the benefits conferred by monasticism and the enforced celibacy of the secular clergy come far short of balancing the evils flowing from the conception of wedlock as a "remedy for concupiscence." The influence of the church did, indeed, tend to condemn the breach of conjugal fidelity by the husband as equally sinful with that of the wife ”

“ I never heard of a separation, under the first charter, a mensa et thoro. Where it is practised, the innocent party often suffers more than the guilty. In general what would have been cause for such a separation in the spiritual courts, was sufficient, with them, for a divorce a vinculo. Female adultery was never doubted to have been sufficient cause; but male adultery, after some debate and consultation with the elders, was judged not sufficient. Desertion a year or two, when there was evidence of a determined design not to return, was always good cause; so was cruel usage of the husband. ”

“ I [253] believe the divorce movement finds its impetus outside of laws, outside of our institutions, outside of our theology; that it finds its impetus in the rebellion of the human heart against that slavery which binds in the cruelest bonds of the cruelest prostitution human beings who have, by their foolishness, by their want of wisdom, or by the intervention of friends, missed the divine purpose, as well as the civil purpose of marriage. ”

“ Who that has experienced the keen delight afforded by watching the domestic habits of birds, from the building of the nest to the teaching of the young to make the first wavering trial of its wings, cannot bear witness to the high development of marriage and the family among them? The great work of Brehm supplies abundant evidence of their human-like social life. ”

“ On the Connecticut law as to seven years' absence, Swift, Digest of the Laws of the State of Conn., I, 21, says: "By common law, that period of absence unheard of, is presumptive evidence of the death of the person; yet in such cases it would be proper that there should be a divorce before a marriage is had, for if the party should return, the first marriage would undoubtedly be valid, though by the [Connecticut] statute a prosecution for the crime of bigamy could not be sustained." ”

“ Where now, except perhaps in an indirect or perfunctory way, does the school boy or girl get any practical suggestion as to home-building, the right social relations of parent and child, much less regarding marriage and the fundamental questions of the sexual life? In this field the home, as the complement or coadjutor of the school and the state, has a precious opportunity. Indeed, our inspiring hope lies in the fact that, in spite of unfavorable conditions, many homes, presided over by enlightened parents, are discharging worthily, if not yet ideally, the high function of social training. ”

“ Thus "when an animal is forced to greater exertion, when it must work in order to exist, when unresistingly it can no longer suffer the stream of events to press upon it, but withstands it and seeks in it to follow its own course, then the separation of the sexes appears, and, indeed, as a division of labor created by nature for the purpose of developing species." With further evolution, male and female characteristics become more pronounced, in response to the special functions which each sex is called upon to perform. The same process continues in the case of man. ”

“ I resume the subject of marriage because it is the source of more demoralization, crime, and misery, than any other single cause, with the exception of religion and private property; and these three together form the great trinity of causes of crime and immorality among mankind. ”

“ Nugent, "it is certain, that proclamation of banns and a public marriage is against the genius and nature of our people; it shocks the modesty of a young girl to have it proclaimed through the parish, that she is going to be married; and a young fellow does not like to be exposed so long beforehand to the jeers of all his companions." ”