Maid servant

“ I hope they are, but I am afraid that at least five out of every ten housekeepers would find one of these defects in her pantries should she go there seeking perfection.
When the mistress neglects matters in this way the maid-servant is not wholly to blame for her heedlessness. It must always be borne in mind that our domestic service is not recruited from training-schools. The maid comes to us from her own home or from a succession of other persons' homes, where she has been taught to do one thing in half a dozen different ways. ”

“ The maid servant must be considered as young, or else she has married the butcher, the butler, or her cousin, or has otherwise settled into a character distinct from her original one, so as to become what is properly called the domestic. The maid servant, in her apparel, is either slovenly or fine by turns, and dirty always; or she is at all times snug and neat, and dressed according to her station. In the latter case, her ordinary dress is black stockings, a stuff gown, a cap, and neck-handkerchief pinned corner-wise behind. ”

“ This does not mean that the mistress should stand over a servant and dictate the way in which every duty is to be performed. The employer should bear in mind that there is more than one right way of doing nearly everything, and if the new maid has a special way of her own of accomplishing this or that, she should be allowed to follow her custom until she has proved that it is not so good as that of her mistress. ”

“ As the majority of us discuss not only our maids but our own familiar friends behind their backs—as they do us when our backs are turned. We are all of us as ready to resent criticism as we are to offer it. When we find the habits of high life below-stairs, it behooves us to ask ourselves what sort of an example along those lines we had set the maid-servants within our gates. ”

“ A lamentable want of honor prevails between housekeepers in this regard, and the woman who has not found a maid in the least satisfactory while in her own employ will send her forth with a reference which makes it tolerably sure she can obtain a situation elsewhere without difficulty. On the other hand, the new mistress is no less heedless and will take a servant into her employ simply on the strength of a written reference without giving herself the pains to inquire as to its accuracy. ”

“ The assurance of the maid that she may feel free to have her friends come to see her, a pleasant word of greeting to these if they come and the mistress happens to meet them, all do their part towards making the maid sure that her employer is in a measure her friend. ”

“ I'm but a servant maid.
Then he stood and viewed her,
his skill began to rise,
He spoke such words unto this maid,
which did her quite surprise.
It is true you are a servant,
but sure you are no maid ”

“ Naturally, it should also be the part of the mistress to point out what are the especial advantages of the situation, and to let the maid see that the employer is ready to do anything in her power to prevent unusual toil from being too heavily felt. No chance should be left for misunderstanding upon any point, and from the first it should be comprehended that a spirit of accommodation and kindliness will be accorded by the mistress and expected from the maid. ”

“ Of course, it is always upon the cards that the maid may have so many other good qualities that they make up for this defect; but, as a rule, it will be found that the maid who persists in refusing to adopt a method of work ordered by her employer will be hard to manage in other ways. Before giving up such a servant, however, it is well for the mistress to think carefully of the question at issue and be very sure that the way she desires possesses enough advantages to make it worth while to raise an issue upon it. ”

“ Before interviewing a maid, the mistress should have clearly framed in her own mind the outlines of the work required, and should know definitely what queries she means to put. Each mistress probably has her own way of learning the maid's capabilities and of explaining the work she wishes done. The housekeeper who has had little practice in engaging servants will do well to make up a formula of inquiries in advance. ”

“ Once in a while a mistress is so fortunate as to secure a maid by the recommendation of some other housekeeper or through a servant in her own or a friend's employ. Maids engaged in this fashion are often more satisfactory than those found at an office, from the fact that they enter their new positions somewhat prejudiced in favor of the employer, instead of holding the attitude of armed neutrality often found in servants who seek places through an office. ”

“ According to the ideas of some persons, the affairs of a maid outside of working hours concern no one but herself. So long as she conforms to certain rules of the household, her coming and going, her associates and habits, are no one's business but her own, unless they interfere with the proper performance of her work. In a way this is entirely true, and a mistress has no more right to pry into the affairs of her maid than the maid has to be overcurious about the business of the mistress. ”

“ The servant should remember that whether she be maid or mistress, she can be cultured. The well-bred, well-trained maid is never sullen or perverse. Nor is her manner servile or haughty. She is respectful to her employers, but she does not cringe. She does her duties carefully, conscientiously and thoroughly, and she carries out the commands of her mistress without question. If, however, a maid thinks that a certain task could be done much more quickly and satisfactorily in another way, she may suggest it to her mistress and request her permission to do it in that way. ”

“ Feed my desiring eyes but half an hour.
Maid. Why faith I think I can, and I will stretch my wits
And body too for gold: if you will swear as you
Are gentle, not to stir, or speak, where you shall
See or hear, now, or hereafter: give me your gold, I'le plant you.
Ang. Why, as I am a Gentleman, I will not.
Maid. Enough, quick, follow me. [Ex. Angelo, and Maid.
[Pg 295]
Enter Servant.
S. Why where's this maid, she has much care of her business, Nell?
I think she be sunk;—why Nell—whiew—
Maid within. ”

“ The maid is no less human because she is in a subordinate position, and it is hard for any of us to take reproof kindly when it is bestowed in the hearing of some one else. If the mistress is inclined to be hasty, it is well for her to wait a few minutes after the discovery of the fault before she utters her rebuke. That will give her time to get the fault a little in perspective and to see its true proportions. Then she should summon the maid to her and deliver her words of warning or reprimand. Never should she go to the kitchen to scold the cook. ”

“ When a woman keeps but one maid to do the work of a household of half a dozen members, she cannot hope to have her establishment conducted as it would be with a force of three or four maids. She may very properly insist upon certain niceties of serving and waiting, but if she does this she must make up for it in other ways. For instance, the woman who demands candles for her dinner-table instead of gas must not expect the maid who does all the work of the house to have time to keep the candlesticks in order. The care of the flowers that brighten the table must also come upon the mistress. ”

“ But there are times in nearly every family when some accident or set of unavoidable occurrences renders it necessary to ask one maid to do the work of another. Sudden illness, the departure of one maid before it is possible to engage another, the descent of unexpected guests—any one of these things may make it needful for the housekeeper to request a servant to do something besides her regular work. ”

“ The mistress should allow time to discover the advantages or disadvantages of the servant's system. But if she feels that her own way is surely better than that the maid follows, she should insist upon a change. She should recognize the possibility of the employée's being a reasonable creature, and show her what she considers the merits of the new plan at the same time that she makes it clearly understood that, whether the maid sees these or not, the work is to be done in the manner prescribed by the mistress. She pays for the work and she has a right to say in what way it shall be performed. ”

“ Should the maid who is leaving not have done her task thoroughly, it is better for the mistress to give her own time and labor to cleaning closets and shelves, or engage a charwoman to do it, than to permit the maid to come in before the work is properly performed. The servant who finds dust in the corners, the stove unpolished, the cellar and refrigerator uncleaned, is likely to draw the conclusion that the places can remain as she found them, or may be suffered to drift into the same condition again whenever she is too lazy or too careless to give them proper attention. ”

“ When a maid is engaged it is with the understanding that she is to do for a fixed wage all the work in her particular line. If hers is the place of a general-housework servant, the duties are, as already said, hard to define, but there may be an approximate idea formed of what they comprise. In other positions in the household it is a simpler matter to lay down with some precision what the avocations of each servant shall be. ”

“ This, indeed, is the whole object of the livery. When the maid is at work she should be dressed in a manner that is suitable for her employment. In the morning when she is to be busy with her housework, in and out of the kitchen, handling a broom and dust-cloth, her dress should be a neat print. In houses where the mistress provides the working-frocks of the maids, as is sometimes done, she can have these frocks made all in one piece, but in the majority of homes, where but one or two maids are kept, they dress themselves. ”

“ The mistress and maid do not only meet in the morning and part again at night, after having been together simply in the way of their work during the day; they eat and sleep under the same roof. Often they work side by side for an hour at a time. ”

“ When the maid is given a chance to prove or disprove the excellence of her method and it turns out to be as good as that of the mistress, there is the saving of just so much friction and effort in teaching and learning a new way. ”

“ The Servant-Maid, whom she left to look after the House, and attend the Family, being a handsome young Woman, was courted by a young Man of the same Town, who was a Tanner; this Tanner used to take his Opportunities, when the Family was out of the Way, of coming to pursue his Courtship; and being with the Maid one Day as she was employ’d in the Houshold Business, not having the Fear of God before his Eyes, he takes his Opportunity, when her Back was turned, of whipping three Silver Spoons into his Pocket. ”

“ Since she must wear the frock in the kitchen, it is better to have it of wash goods. The mistress should be in readiness to answer the bell when the maid is dressing for dinner, or when she is at the wash-tub or doing any other work it is difficult for her to leave. A great deal of consideration is demanded of both mistress and maid when there is but one servant and the family desires to live daintily and in accordance with good form. ”

“ The responsibility of the mistress does not go so far as to make it necessary for her to inquire into the antecedents of the young men who visit in her kitchen as she would into those of the men callers in the drawing-room. That is outside of her province. Yet she may let the maid know that she feels an interest in her admirers and friends, and such an interest is likely to be appreciated. ”

“ This is a matter each housekeeper must settle for herself.
To return to the first point for a moment. The mistress must give her maids what they need to do their work well before she expects to receive good work from them, and having done this shall demand that they keep their tools in order. At the same time that she makes adequate provision she should not encourage extravagance by overabundance. We all have a tendency to be lavish when we see before us what seems like more than enough. The maid should have what will suffice for the present need, but no more. ”

“ In advocating this I am taking it for granted that the maid has some idea of the manner in which her work is to be done. If she is absolutely "green," she will have to be taught from the beginning, and then the mistress has no option. Such servants are discouraging and tiresome at the outset, but they often turn out the best in the long-run. In their cases the mistress has no bad impressions to efface and she can implant her own modes in virgin soil. ”

“ Domestic service of a good sort is too hard to secure in this country for there to be any danger of the maid becoming down-trodden and imposed upon. The country bound-girl may have to submit to imposition, but it would not be tolerated for a moment by the ordinary independent serving-maid. If there is domination on either side it is more likely to be found on the part of the maid, who feels the advantage at which she holds her alleged mistress. ”

“ But, fortunately, all humanity are not cliff-dwellers. There are plenty of homes where it is possible for the maid to have a light, airy bedroom, which could be made attractive at a small expenditure of time and money. Yet it is seldom that a servant's room has anything pleasing about it. The mistresses defend themselves by saying that the servants are heedless with good things, that they do not take care of what is given them, and any mistress can cite facts to prove this position. ”