Young lady

“ The young lady is indeed an object of compassion who feels her mother's company irksome and onerous. At your age the heart is confiding and effusive, and it needs some bosom in which to repose its confidence ”

“ A young lady casts her eye upon a young man. She says, "I mean to have that man." She plies her arts, engages his affections, marries him, and secures for herself a life of sorrow and disappointment, ending perhaps in a broken up home or an early grave. ”

“ Confessions of a Young Lady
I A WONDERFUL GIRL
As a small girl I must have been a curiosity. At least I hope so. Because if I was only an average child what a time parents, and guardians, and schoolmistresses, and those sort of persons, must have of it. To this hour I am a creature of impulse. But then--! I did a thing; started to regret it when it was about half done; and if I ever thought at all about the advisability of doing it, it was certainly only when everything was over.
Take the case of my very fleeting association with Bradford's Royal Theatre. ”

“ WE TALK ABOUT POLITICS HAVING reached my eleventh year, I was quite convinced that I had become a young lady. Many persons thought me older than I really was on account of my height and my serious demeanour. My ideas at this time were very pronounced, but not always matured; my imagination ran wild; I was as simple as a child and I reasoned like a young woman. Nearly all of those who heretofore had treated me like a child, now called me “Mademoiselle,” and grandmother, desirous to justify the name, lengthened my skirts considerably, and I wore them almost quite long. ”

“ In society, as well as in books, we constantly hear it said that a young lady should act thus and thus in a specified case; but a sound reason why she should thus act is too rarely given. She is expected to take the mere dictum of those more experienced than herself, whether the reasonableness of the thing be apparent to her own mind or not. ”

“ It is certainly desirable that a young lady be acquainted, and that somewhat particularly, with a variety of gentlemen. Thus only can she be qualified to discriminate between the undeserving, the indifferent, and the excellent. ”

“ Perhaps I'll make a lady's-maid of her, though it doesn't seem quite the right thing to do.”
“No, it doesn't. Don't go and spoil what you have done by any such folly as that.”
“Do you want me to make a lady of her—or what?”
“A lady? Well that is a difficult question to answer; but I have heard that sometimes ladies, like poets, are born, not made. At all events, it would not be right, I fancy, to keep the girl here. It might give rise to disagreeable complications, as you always have a parcel of fellows hanging about you.” ”

“ It is labor in vain to point out to them that an affection, unaccompanied by the necessary precautions, should be repelled by a young lady as an insult to the dignity of her sex. But they will readily listen to any language that flatters their vanity, which paves the way to so many fatal friendships that often entail a lifetime of woe and sorrow. ”

“ When such is the case it is a great misfortune for a young lady—a misfortune that can scarcely be retrieved in her lifetime. It is easy to recognise a woman whose soul has been fostered in that of her mother. Such women ordinarily possess a milder disposition, a more amiable ingenuousness, with a certain simplicity of heart which, without being prejudicial in the least to her mind, adds a new charm to the noble and generous virtues which become the mother of a family. Those habits of confidence and abandonment contracted from childhood have made frankness and sincerity second nature. ”

“ Now, what merits our greatest attention is the fact that this firmness of will begins to give way in woman the moment she removes, even by a slight doubt, this precious veil of ignorance which protects her virtue, or when, by an indiscreet question, or an imprudent answer, she exposes the simplicity of her heart.
The virtues which adorn the heart of a young lady are concealed from her own knowledge. God has so enveloped her in mystery that He alone understands her. None other save the penetrating eye of God should look into the sanctuary of her heart. ”

“ Can any young lady, no matter how morbidly sensitive she may be about the false opinions of fashionable acquaintances, feel otherwise than proud of such representatives of her sex as Jane and Edith ——? Did they not act well and wisely? If every young lady, be her station as high as it may, would qualify herself for gaining a livelihood in some useful calling or pursuit, as they did, the yearly reverses that visit so many families would bring far less of suffering, both bodily and mental, than now result from these causes. ”

“ We do not believe any young lady should appear at a ball, the theatre, or concert, except in company with her parents, brother, cousin, or some very intimate friend of the family, unless she be under engagement of marriage, and then her lover becomes her legitimate protector and companion. ”

“ Perhaps the force of contrast made these things specially dear to the young girl's soul, for there was not much romance in the fashionable life her mother taught her to think the best and wisest of all lives for a nineteenth-century young lady to lead. ”

“ The danger is the more imminent inasmuch as the sunny side only of the world is displayed to you; while no pains are spared on the part of those bound to you by the most sacred ties to engage you to adopt their views and imitate their example. This is certainly one of the most delicate positions in which a young lady can be placed, when her only arms of defense are the uprightness of her mind, the innocence of her heart and the purity of her instincts. ”

“ The young lady knew full well how to propitiate all around her, and particularly the persons who might have been jealous or envious of her accomplishments, and she caused her beauty and grace to be forgotten beneath the veil of modest simplicity with which she covered them. ”

“ Nevertheless, she would everywhere be recognized at once as a cultivated young lady. The simplicity, gentleness, and sweetness of her manners, her truthfulness, modesty, and dignity count for far more than French or music or literature even with those who lay most stress on accomplishments. Such manners as hers are rare, and yet they are likely to be found running through whole families. ”

“ When she began, the whisper that she was the love of their hero, gave them a romantic interest, and though with the younger generation this is only a tradition, yet "our lady" has won ground of her own, and is still fair and sweet enough to be looked on by those youths as a sort of flower of the whole world, yet their own peculiar property. ”

“ Nor will the dislikes and prejudices of a young lady, as they will be called, always be considered by her friends sufficient reasons for her declining the visits of certain young men who to them seem very unexceptionable. ”

“ For, judging others by her own heart, she cannot suspect those who converse with her of wicked designs. She accepts all that is told her as the sincere expression of the heart, and very often receives for a genuine affection what is only hypocrisy and deception.
If you are acquainted with the young men whom you meet in the world, you should know how to treat with them; yet experience proves that for the most part a young lady is little posted in matters of this nature. ”

“ The advice of an English lady on this point seems peculiarly pertinent. “Let women,” says she, “of a certain age beware of the affectation of youth, if they would avoid the shipwreck of their respectability and character. As the loveliness of girlhood fades from their cheeks, and the liquid brilliancy of youth departs from their eyes, let them make unto themselves charms which neither the rust nor moth of time can corrupt ”

“ Before a young lady reaches the age of twenty years, she should, as a general rule, discourage all particular attentions from young men, and endeavor to hold her mind as balanced and independent in regard to all her male acquaintances as possible. ”

“ The mere habit of learning to love is the thing; and a teachableness of disposition in a young lady is a great blessing. ”

“ As to the giving of any particular rules by which a young lady is to square her conduct in matters of the heart, we neither feel inclined to the task nor competent to perform it. Our leading object is, to give such general principles as will enable each one for herself to decide upon a right course of action in a matter that is fraught with consequences of such vital importance. If a young lady have correct views on the subject of marriage, she will not be in much danger of committing any serious error. ”

“ Every young lady may feel for my heroine in this critical moment, for every young lady has at some time or other known the same agitation. ”

“ Now, we can safely say that its venom has already tainted the young lady's heart, when, through inattention and want of vigilance, she has suffered doubt to brood over any of those obligations which are so delicate and difficult to determine, and, nevertheless, most grave and important, since they entail, when neglected, the most disastrous results. ”

“ If love prompt not a young lady to think of her mother and seek to do her good, let a sense of duty compel her to act with due consideration towards her, and she will soon find that to be a pleasure which at first seemed irksome, and wonder at the selfishness of her heart that could have made her indifferent towards one who has so many claims upon her love and gratitude. ”

“ It would be a thousand pities if you were ever to sink down to the servant-girl level: we must think of something better than that. A young lady generally aspires to be a governess. But then she must know everything—music, drawing, French, German, Latin, mathematics, algebra ”

“ A young lady who admits to her acquaintance a well-educated, polished, accomplished, but cold-hearted, unprincipled man of the world, has placed herself in a dangerous position. She is no equal for such a one. ”

“ If, instead of trying to embellish her account with the fruits of her imagination, a young lady possessed the power of seizing upon the points best worth describing, and could give an exact [35] account of them, she would be far more entertaining than any exaggeration could make her; for there is no romance like that of real life, and no imaginings of an inexperienced girl can equal in piquancy the scenes and characters that are every day presented to our view. ”

“ When, however, a young lady has reached the age we have named, and a man, known to be virtuous and honorable, has formally offered her his hand, and been accepted, the marriage ought not long to be delayed, if no impediment exist, such as inability on the part of the young man to support a wife. ”

“ We are seeking a nobler womanhood. It is the duty of every mother to feel that she is responsible for that society into which she sends her son. Our young lady should have something to look forward to. A young lady, upon leaving school, told her companion that she was sorry that school had ended, because she would have nothing to do. ‘Can’t you stay at home and make pretty things to wear?’ was the reply. This assertion and answer covered the whole ground of young ladyhood.” [142] When she first entered the world as a young woman, she consulted her minister as to what she should do. ”

“ As year after year passes by, a young lady will be brought into circumstances of closer and closer relationship with others, until at length she finds herself occupying the important position of a wife and mother, in which every act of her life, and almost every thought and word, must necessarily have either a good or a bad effect upon others. ”

“ But, as there exists in woman a natural fondness for dress, the opposite extreme to this is the one into which young girls most frequently run, unless they are guided and controlled, as is usually the case, by the sounder and purer taste of a mother, an elder sister, or some judicious friend. In order to keep herself from running into this extreme, a young lady should guard against the common fault of dressing for the purpose of attracting attention. ”

“ To prevent this as far as possible, a young lady should decline all proposed introductions, unless made by her nearest and best friends—those whom she knows to be discriminating, and who have deeply at heart her welfare. ”

“ If she will believe this, it will make her modest and reserved; modesty and reserve will make her thoughtful; thinking is the mind’s seeing power, and by it, and it alone, will a young lady be able to see for herself what is right, and form her own judgment of the world into which she has been introduced, and where she has an important part to act as a woman. The men with whom she comes in contact are often from two to three, and sometimes from six to seven, years older than herself. ”

“ To her first impressions of character, it will, therefore, always be well for a young lady to pay great respect, and always admit with caution any one who was at first repugnant to a friendly relation. She who will keep her mind pure, and carefully observe and be guided by her first impressions of character, will not be in much danger of making the acquaintance of young men of bad moral principles. ”

“ Again, the same young lady is making a visit, and becomes so much interested in her companions that she lets the hour at which she is to take her lesson in French or music go by, leaving her teacher to wait impatiently for her, and neglecting a matter of real importance for the enjoyment, it may be, of a little frivolous chit-chat. ”

“ But when a young lady is to be a heroine, the perverseness of forty surrounding families cannot prevent her. Something must and will happen to throw a hero in her way. ”

“ So habitual is this to gentlemen, that a young lady meeting with deference and attention every where, is apt to fall into the error of supposing that it belongs to her sex as a right, instead of being yielded by good feeling. We can suppose no other to be the reason why so many ladies, instead of waiting for these preferences to be shown, boldly claim them ”