Edgar Franklin Stearns

“ There were intervals that evening when Carey had difficulty in restraining a laugh. He seemed to have passed from his own sphere of existence and fallen, feet-first, into another. Mr. Jarvis, the friend of the host, made a reputation for conversational powers. The whole adventure, be the explanation what it might, was very pleasant; it appealed to his imagination and brought out the best and wittiest in him.
A dance followed the dinner, and in time the dance—early like all the Colvin affairs—came to an end, and the carriages bowled up noiselessly through the snow. ”

“ He stopped there.
“Herr Hawkins,” Von Moltz told him solemnly, “der time comes sometimes when shall be blood on the head of a man for his own fault.” Which was impressive, if not clear. “Such iss it now!”
“Is it?” snapped Hawkins, as he turned away.
“It iss,” reiterated Von Moltz, as he grasped the inventor's shoulder and transfixed him with a fiery glare. “To the ground I go at once, or for you shall suffer consequences. So!” ”

“ They crushed against Janeway and the tellers and forced them along toward the wall of the bank, the ammonia notwithstanding.
When finally the vapors did halt them, the cashier leaped to one of the lower window ledges and, clinging by the bars, addressed them with pithy informality.
"See here, all of you!" he shouted. "I don't know what's wrong in there, but I'm not responsible for it, and I'm not going to lose my life by going into the vaults for money—nor am I going to sacrifice any of the employees! You'll have to wait until the machine can be fixed, when business will be resumed." ”

“ Somebody must have gently loosened the earth from its fastenings, for it commenced to drop away with the speed of a bullet. Being careful not to make a sound, good old earth simply began to grow less obvious.
Trees and fields and forests appeared and diminished in size. In an incredibly little space of time, half a dozen towns put in an appearance. Then, far to the north, a patch of houses intruded itself into the panorama—and Hawkins pointed at it with a proud air of proprietorship.
“Washington,” he said. ”

“ I know what's wrong. 'That fiction-sopped brain of yours picks up things and idealizes them, plasters on the optimism, puts a coat of sun-proof English on top—and turns it in for news!”
“Well, it was news in this case!”
“News is news only when it is news!” replied Penfield enigmatically. “Nice English isn't news—”
“Nevertheless, my English is good enough for such magazines as—”
“Oh, nobody's kicking about your confounded English!” snapped the editor savagely. “It's just here: your head is full of short stories and novels—”
Carey's sensitive spot was sorely touched. ”

“ That man is after you! He'll be here in a second, and the Lord knows what he'll do! Get away before—"
The harvester paused momentarily. Hawkins's sardonic grin faced me around the corner of the smoke-stack.
"My dear Griggs," he said serenely, "I am perfectly aware of my exact rights, in this as in every other case. There are many things that I shall explain later: but here and now let me assure you that I know what I am doing. And if Hayes elects to get just a little bit gayer, he'll pay me cold cash for having this field mowed automatically and raked over, or— Holy Moses, Griggs!" ”

“ Still coming up, he turned dainty somersaults every ten seconds, invariably landing head upward and as invariably shrieking at each new stunt.
Not only that, but he seemed to have acquired a magnetic attraction for crockery. Dishes and platters, cups and saucers, steered straight for Von Moltz, landing with absolute impartiality on every inch of his anatomy. The best part of a lovely chicken salad alighted on his head with the grace of the original chicken itself, and was dislodged by a triple somersault. ”

“ He recovered himself in a minute or two, and one great fact rose uppermost in his mind—beyond all dispute, there would be no run on the Herdsman's Bank until the building was clear of that infernal smell!
He permitted himself a quiet smile. Whether this were chance or some of Robert's work, the result was glowingly perfect.
But a crowd of money-mad men do not stand long upon ceremony. A sort of informal meeting took place at about ten o'clock, and a delegation was appointed to call at the Graves plant and ask whether the ammonia could not be cut off or turned away from the bank. ”

“ The speeding automobile is bad enough, but at least we can shoot at it or stretch ropes across the highway. The frenzied air-ship, dropping odds and ends upon our city, however, is altogether too much.
Our district attorney, verbose and energetic as he may be, desiring reelection, might ride to Orville in the automobile maintained for his distinguished comfort by our municipality, and discover why a railroad station may be wrecked and the lives of citizens jeopardized by an air-ship which his police cannot identify—and which, as a matter of fact, they never will identify! ”

“ The man relieved Colvin of his fur coat and Carey of his less elegant ulster; and the reporter waited for the crash.
It failed utterly to come! Colvin turned to him again, his smile broader and more genial than ever, and winked slyly.
“Lot of confounded fuss and feathers, eh? Hear the doves cooing in there. But we've got to have it A1, I suppose, if we're going to have women on earth. This way, Jarvis.”
Well, he was Jarvis! That seemed about settled. Whether or not he had lived thirty-two years as Carey, whether or not he had even journeyed uptown as Carey, he was Jarvis now. ”

“ How on earth did you menage to smash an ice-machine in such a fashion that this whole building next door was filled?"
"Ice-machines don't smash in a plant that I run," returned the younger brother serenely. "Ours have been going without a hitch for the last six months."
"Then——"
"Where did the ammonia come from? How does this strike you?"
He raised his arm and turned on the gas-jet. A strange, lively hissing resulted, and he quickly shut it off again.
"I guess you'll smell a little more ammonia in a minute." he commented.
The cashier smiled in bewilderment. ”

“ I am quite certain that you understand perfectly—but you must think for yourself! Success, Jenkins, comes slowly by individual thought. You know the ship as well as I do. Direct her toward the earth, and do it carefully.” He cleared his throat. “Luncheon, Griggs!”
“But, Mr. Hawkins, how can we get down when this cylinder's overcharged with gas and we're going higher every minute, and—”
“My dear boy,” said Hawkins, with a grin that was meant to be playful, and that actually looked like the dying smile of a consumptive, “think!” ”

“ Very briefly may Carey, of the reportorial staff, be explained. His berth on the Chronicle was due to four things—the necessity of earning a living, his “nose for news,” his ability to write the English language, and the fact that he was probably Penfield's oldest and most intimate friend. If the nose did queer things occasionally, it was not Carey's fault. He possessed a very fine imagination, and he was using it in the construction of a novel which he expected to change materially two apparently fixed quantities—the trend of modern fiction and of his own finances. ”

“ A man with a battery of Gatling guns might have attacked the harvester safely from a distance. Hayes possessed only a puerile pitchfork. With the Hawkins Harvester plunging wildly toward the bars of the young fruit orchard, Hayes made a wide détour for the barn—and for another short space I forgot him. ”

“ I asked.
“Don't try to be funny, Griggs. It's away beyond you,” said the inventor.
“Where have you been lately?” I inquired more gently.
“At my home in the Berkshires, of course,” answered the inventor frostily. “Where else should I be? A man of my nervous temperament cannot stand treatment such as I have had recently.” He licked his lips. “There was a plot against me. That man Mink, Griggs, had been bribed—”
And just there I made the idiotic break of going into hysterics, and Hawkins walked away. ”

“ He surveyed me with a grin, and:
"Well, you're not dead, Griggs, anyway; but I'd steer clear of having my head collide with a two-hundred-pound plow-blade hereafter."
"Am I—hurt?"
"Not so's you'd notice it," responded the doctor. "There are no bones broken—I don't know why. Able to drive your car home?"
Several blinks at the sunshine, and I announced the probability of such a proceeding. Then I began to look at Hawkins, sitting on the porch-steps with a bandage or two in evidence, and with the constable on one side and Hayes on the other. ”

“ Hawkins turned again.
“Mein lieber Herr,” said Von Moltz, “es macht mich sehr traurig dieses zu sagen, aber”—he caught himself—“I mean, it is necessary that I shall be in Washington this evening.”
“Well, I told you that you would be there, didn't I?” demanded the inventor.
“You did, but it seems to me not that way,” smiled the count. “Always goes the ship to the westward. For Washington shall it eastward be.”
“Well, we're going straight east now, count,” Hawkins lied crisply. “We have turned around, and we're going straight home.”
“Den who hass mofed der sun, Mr. Hawkins?” ”

“ And here you stay—and in a room without a telephone—until the Stock Exchange closes tomorrow! That's as flat as I can make it, and if you choose to try for a little trouble—well, there's a penalty for dogging a man.”
“And there's another penalty for restraining a man's liberty!” retorted Carey. “And, furthermore, I'm inclined to think that you've gone insane!”
“Really?” Colvin's lip curled scornfully. “I've dealt with too many of your kind, young man, to be deceived at this late date. ”

“ The obviously German gentleman stared at me, as I advanced with outstretched hand.
“Oh—charmed!” he said, as he dived under the covers, and turned his head away.
Hawkins tapped me on the shoulder.
“Official representative of the German government!” he whispered. “Big money for me, Griggs, if he likes—what's coming. But he's in a bad humor to-night. Light disturbs him—and I've got to keep solid with him and—that's your bed, over there; the one with your grip beside it. You don't mind going to bed in the dark. ”

“ My name is Henry Carey, and I'm a newspaper man.”
“A newspaper man!”
“Precisely; a reporter on the Chronicle, too, a paper not altogether friendly to some of the big money interests. Look! Here's my watch, with a monogram; here's my cigar-case, similarly marked.” He drew a wallet and threw a dozen of his engraved Chronicle cards on the table. “There is a little more evidence. You'll find my theater credentials in the ulster pocket. If you want further information, see Mr. Penfield of the Chronicle tomorrow evening!”
Colvin examined each article carefully. The stick dropped from his hand. ”

“ I've been giving a bit of thought to the subject—naturally—and I can't see any real reason why there should be a run here. For one thing, we're the richest bank in town."
"Even so, the depositors have just that much more to get scared about."
"Very true, but there's another point as well, my boy—most of our depositors live out of town—in the cattle country and elsewhere."
"The shoe factory people don't."
"No, of course not. But a great part of the others do. News doesn't reach them so quickly."
"Maybe not, but when it does—phew! Won't there be a rush for Harksbury!" ”

“ And the Hawkins aluminum steel capsule was rent and torn in a dozen places, and gas began to hiss and whistle; and for a little we shot downward—until finally a score of wings unfolded themselves under Mink's hands and the speed slackened a bit—and a railroad train appeared somewhere below, and we were headed toward it.
“A man right in politics can do anything,” said Jones calmly. ”

“ Penfield scowled at him as he took a chair.
“What d'ye think this is—a ball room?” the editor-in-chief inquired, politely, his penetrating stare fixed relentlessly upon Carey's expansive shirt bosom.
“Well—I knew I'd get my copy in early tonight,” said Carey, apologetically, “I'm going to meet the better half at a little gathering uptown.”
“Lord!” Penfield whirled back and sought to blast the desk with his frown. “A man might think you were the 'sassiety' editor, all primed for business!” ”

“ The huge Graves slaughter-house continued a brisk enough business—even built a group of additions in the course of time, and eventually a big refrigerating plant—and some half-dozen smaller establishments still operated, but that was the extent of beef-dressing done at Harksbury.
However, the little town was not altogether idle in other directions. Shoe factories grew up, and a monster tin-plate plant. The population swelled from four figures to five, and progressed cheeringly into the 'teens of thousands, and Harksbury came to be in every way a satisfactory city. ”

“ Carey sat down, across the table.
“Look here, Mr. Colvin, I gave you my word that the Chronicle would print nothing of this tomorrow morning, and it will not. But the first of our evening editions is on the street by nine o'clock, and there is nothing to prevent my giving the staff a tip.”
“Man!” Colvin started up, and his eyes were dilated with horror.
“Oh, hold on. I'm not going to do it, except on certain conditions. Mr. Colvin, I want to take advantage of that little C & F performance!”
“Very well, you have all the information you need now,” said the millionaire, grimly. ”

“ Half an hour later, the air-ship—which seems to have no identity—crashed into the railway station at Orville and practically wrecked the building. The Eastern Limited, being about to pull out at the minute, the seven seemingly uninjured occupants of the flying-machine—two women and five men—managed to escape. There was absolutely no clue to the owner of the contrivance, which is a total wreck, and photographs of which appear on our front page.
Modernity is unavoidable and progress commendable, but occurrences such as this should be traced down to the end and the guilty ones punished. ”

“ Hayes started for the barn. I started for Hawkins. It's a horrible, hideous thing to see a man killed in cold blood; and if ever a mortal looked bent on murder, it was Hayes.
Therefore, I made after Hawkins at top speed. He was at the other end of the hay-field now. He had very literally cut a swath, and one some fifteen feet wide.
At the moment he was engaged in turning his strange engine; and before I came up with him the harvester was rushing down upon me and tossing hay to the four winds. ”

“ In fine, then, the New York Daily Chronicle's morning edition was going to press; and Penfield, who happened to be editor-in-chief, yawned wearily, and wondered whether it would ever get there.
Illustration: “The morning edition was going to press.”
Penfield had spent the latter part of the previous night at a very late supper; and for a man on whose shoulders a morning newspaper rests, it is a practice to be condemned. His jaws seemed unable to remain closed; his eyes watered at intervals, and even the strong cigar could not prevent it. Penfield's temper, too, was tired ”

“ He waited for no denial.
"Primarily, she drives herself—the farm-horse wiped out of existence! Next, every operation takes place from the saddle here; the farmer himself runs it alone—and the farmhand is wiped out, too.
"And last, but best, the machine will plow, harrow, plant, mow, rake, reap, and bind every product of the field, and finally either pack it in the barn for winter or cart it automatically to the nearest market, whether it be two or two hundred miles distant from the harvest field!"
"Hawkins—" I began again. ”

“ The salad was stirred anew. Von Moltz straightened up. “I haf said it before,” he announced. “Jetz I say it again: my government shall hear of dis! It shall hear! It shall hear! It—”
“Well, it will hear, if you yell a little louder,” said the inventor. “Now—”
“Marriage, of course, is a small matter compared to business, Hawkins,” Westerling chipped in sharply. “We can pardon our friend's excitement; but in my case I demand that you, as inventor of this fiendish contrivance—”
“Aw, cut it, gents!” Mr. Mink remarked. “You hold de guy down, if he tries any stunts. We got enough o' this. ”