Hawkins

“ But—whoever could have designed that frieze, Mr. Hawkins?”
“Er—that frieze?” repeated the inventor, a little uncomfortably, indicating the insane-looking strip of painting a foot or so wide which ran along under the ceiling.
“Yes, it's so funny. Nothing but dots and dots and dots. Whoever could have conceived such an idea?”
“Well, I did, Miss Mather,” Hawkins replied. “I designed that myself.”
“Oh, did you?” murmured the inquisitive one, going red.
Hawkins turned to me, and the girl subsided; but old Mr. Blodgett had overheard. ”

“ I took the latter alternative, threw myself upon the ladder, and clung there, gasping with astonishment at the suddenness of the thing.
“Well, Hawkins?” I said, getting breath as my head sank below the level of the beautiful earth.
“Well, Griggs,” said the inventor defiantly, from the second rung below, “the gear must have slipped—that's all.”
“Isn't it lucky that this is a tiled well?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why,” I said, “a tiled well is absolutely safe, you see. Nothing can happen in a tiled well, Hawkins.” ”

“ But after a time I drew nearer to Hawkins, and at last came within thirty feet of the galloping Maud.
Hawkins' face was white and set, he bounced painfully up and down, risking his neck at every bounce, but one hand kept a death-like grip on the lever of the horse-brake.
“Jump!” I screamed. “Throw yourself off!”
Hawkins regarded me with much the expression the early Christians must have worn when conducted into the arena.
“No,” he shouted. “It's”—bump—“it's all right. It'll”—bump—“work in a minute.”
“No, it won't! Jump, for Heaven's sake, jump!” ”

“ Hawkins's woodshed reiterated [183] his dismal note, as though the weariness of the dog-days had entered his very soul.
"Phe-e-e—be-e-e-e," he remarked, with that falling inflection on the last syllable that would dampen the spirits of a circus clown.
"Phe-e-e—be-e-e."
Mr. Hawkins himself leaned over his gate and smoked his pipe. An ice-cart came lumbering down the street. That, at least, was interesting. We hurried to meet it, and each possessed himself of a lump of ice. Then we perched, some on my fence and some on the blue box that held the garden hose. ”

“ The huge wing was precisely in line to deal my unoffending cranium a terrific whack, which would probably stun me, and certainly brush me from my perch.
“There's a big wind coming!” I cried. “Look at those trees.”
“By Jimminy! You're right!” gasped the inventor, recklessly hurling himself upon the ladder. “Quick, Griggs. Come down after me. Quick!”
When one of Hawkins' inventions gets you in its toils, you have to make rapid decisions as to the manner of death you would prefer. In the twinkling of an eye, I decided to cast my fate with Hawkins on the ladder. ”

“ What under the sun did you let off your infernal contrivance for?”
“Oh, I just did it to spite you, papa,” said Hawkins, with weary sarcasm.
“By George, sir, I believe you did!” snapped the old gentleman. “It's like you! Look at my coat, sir! Look at——”
I was edging away when Mrs. Hawkins entered. She was clad in somber black now, and her cheeks flamed scarlet with mortification.
“Well!” she exclaimed.
“Well, my dear?” said Hawkins, bracing himself.
“A pretty mess you've made of our house-warming, haven't you? You and your idiotic fire-extinguisher!” ”

“ Hawkins' countenance fell somewhat, but there was no time for a reply. The coal-scuttle of the Crano-Scale was hovering above us, evidently selecting a spot for its operations.
“Here! We're right under it!” Hawkins shouted. “This way, Griggs! Quick! Lord! It's coming down—it'll hit you! Quick!”
And I dived toward Hawkins as he was struggling for a foothold, and then——
A line of asterisks is the only way of putting into print my state of mind—or absence of any state of mind—for the ensuing quarter of an hour. ”

“ The inventor snatched it impolitely and turned his back, while the youth gazed after him for a moment and then returned to the office.
“Set of confounded idiots!” Hawkins remarked wrathfully.
Then, ere I could disappear, he spied me.
“Aha, Griggs, you here?”
“No, I'm not,” I said flatly. “If there's any trouble brewing, Hawkins, consider me back in New York. What has excited you?”
“Excited me? Those fool railroad officials are enough to drive a man to the asylum. ”

“ Hawkins turned again.
“Mein lieber Herr,” said Von Moltz, “es macht mich sehr traurig dieses zu sagen, aber”—he caught himself—“I mean, it is necessary that I shall be in Washington this evening.”
“Well, I told you that you would be there, didn't I?” demanded the inventor.
“You did, but it seems to me not that way,” smiled the count. “Always goes the ship to the westward. For Washington shall it eastward be.”
“Well, we're going straight east now, count,” Hawkins lied crisply. “We have turned around, and we're going straight home.”
“Den who hass mofed der sun, Mr. Hawkins?” ”

“ I will say it for Hawkins that he managed to stop the affair at Newark in very commendable fashion. It seems so remarkable that one of his contrivances should have exhibited that much amenity to control that it is worthy of note.
Some of the passengers who alighted to be sure, exhibited signs of hard usage. There were visible bruises in several cases, due, presumably, to the slightly startling suddenness with which our trip began.
But Hawkins was blind to anything of that sort.
“Now, wasn't that fine?” he said proudly.
“Well—we're here—and alive,” was about all I could say. ”

“ Hawkins, sir,” interrupted Hawkins' butler at the door.
“Well, William?”
“Mrs. Hawkins, sir, she says as how your presence is desired down-stairs.”
“Oh, all right,” said the inventor wearily. “I'll be down directly.”
“No rest for the wicked,” he commented to me. “Come on, Griggs, we'll have to dance.”
The festivity was in full swing when we descended.
Mrs. Hawkins came over to us and remarked in low tones to her spouse:
“Now just try to make yourself agreeable, Herbert. It's not nice for you to steal away and smoke.”
“I'm not smoking.”
“Mr. Griggs is.” ”

“ An account of our trip down the Narrows and into the Lower Bay would be interesting, but extraneous. Hawkins sat erect beside his infernal machine, looking like a cavalryman in the charge. I squatted in the cabin and watched things flash past.
The main point is that we reached the open water without smashing anything or smashing into anything.
“Well, I think we may as well swing around,” said Hawkins, glancing at his watch. “It's wonderful, the control I have over the launch now. Every bit of the steering-gear is located in that steel dome, along with the motor, Griggs. ”

“ Hawkins strode to the rear of the yard without turning. About us on every side were high wooden walls, the storage bins of the company.
Up the side of one wall ran a ladder, and Hawkins commenced the perpendicular ascent with the same matter-of-fact air that one would wear in walking up-stairs.
“What are you doing that for? Exercise?” I called, when he paused some twenty-five feet in the air.
“If you wish to see the Crano-Scale at work, follow me. If not, stay where you are,” replied Hawkins. ”

“ He stopped there.
“Herr Hawkins,” Von Moltz told him solemnly, “der time comes sometimes when shall be blood on the head of a man for his own fault.” Which was impressive, if not clear. “Such iss it now!”
“Is it?” snapped Hawkins, as he turned away.
“It iss,” reiterated Von Moltz, as he grasped the inventor's shoulder and transfixed him with a fiery glare. “To the ground I go at once, or for you shall suffer consequences. So!” ”

“ The Hawkins Auto-aero-mobile was very delicately balanced now on four slim wires, and the balloon was collapsing with heart-rending rapidity. From below sounds of excitement were audible, here and there a groan and now a scream of horror, as some new-comer realized our position.
“Hawkins,” I said, solemnly, “why don't you make a vow right now that if we ever get out of this alive——”
Ping! went the third wire. The auto swayed gently for a moment.
“You'll never invent another thing as long as you live?”
“Griggs,” said Hawkins, in trembling tones, “I almost believe that you are right. ”

“ The inventor's mouth opened with a squeak.
“Griggs, stand by me!” he gasped.
And just then I became a hero. It feels nice to be a hero. I dodged past Mink and took up a determined stand at Hawkins's right-hand side—and if I backed, even more quickly than he did, it was merely a tactical move.
To be sure, a trifle of cold sweat sprang from my forehead, and my pulse ran up to something like three hundred; and there was a peculiar feeling in my knees, as if somebody had removed the hinge-pin; but little things like that are pardonable when a man is a hero for the first time, I think. ”

“ Hawkins gave a dinner at his club one night to some London University men and a couple of distinguished foreigners.
"Of course, we talked shop. We argued and stirred one another up, and the sparks flew. When the rest had gone Hawkins and I stayed talking in the smoking-room. About an idea"—Eric looked round to see that the door was shut—"a new idea I was working at for dealing with cancer."
"Dealing!" I echoed, leaning forward. "You mean curing?"
"——I told Hawkins about an experiment I'd been making. As I've said, Hawkins is very intelligent. ”

“ The Gasowashine and the cook were traveling across the kitchen together. The Frenchman, with remarkable presence of mind, was behind the machine and dragging back with all his might; but as well could he have hauled to a standstill the locomotive of the Empire State Express.
The Gasowashine, puffing heavily as any racing auto, had plans of its own and was executing them to the accompaniment of a simply appalling rattle of crockery.
“Don't let go! Don't let go!” cried Hawkins. “Keep hold, my man!”
“I do! I do! Mais, mon Dieu!” called the Frenchman jerkily. ”

“ You needn't look huffy, Griggs. It isn't your wife or my wife. It's the whole sex. They chatter and prattle and make silly jokes about things they're absolutely incapable of understanding.”
“My dear Hawkins,” I said soothingly, “you wrong the fair sex.”
“Oh, I wrong 'em, eh? Well, what woman knows the first thing about explosives?” demanded Hawkins heatedly. “Dynamite or rhexite or meganite or carbonite or stonite or vigorite or cordite or ballistite or thorite or maxamite——”
“Stop, Hawkins, stop!” I cried.
“Well, that's all, anyway,” said the inventor. ”

“ The wires are all mixed up in it, and they may smash and drag us down, or upset us, Hawkins.”
“Croak! Croak! Croak!” replied Hawkins, sourly. “Go on and croak till your dying day, Griggs. If any one ever offers a prize for a pessimistic alarmist, you take my advice and compete. You'll win. I'm going to start the engine and get out of this.”
He pulled the reverse lever, and the engine buzzed merrily. The auto indulged in a series of unwholesome convulsive shivers, but it didn't budge. ”

“ Hawkins was picked up first. When I came to the surface, two dark-skinned sailormen were dragging him in, struggling and cursing and pointing wildly toward the horizon, where his launch was careering away with the speed of the wind.
It was the French liner La France which had the honor of our rescue. She deposited us in New York on Wednesday morning.
Over the rest of this tale hover some painful memories. I am not a fighting man, but I am free to say that when my wife and Mrs. Hawkins delivered to me their joint opinion on broken promises, their sex alone saved them from personal damage. ”

“ In 1564 Hawkins repeated the experiment with greater success; and on his way home, in 1565, he stopped in Florida and relieved the struggling French colony of Laudonnière, planted there by Admiral Coligny the year before, and barbarously destroyed by the Spaniards soon after Hawkins's departure.14 The difference between our age and Queen Elizabeth's is illustrated by the fact that Hawkins, instead of being put to death as a pirate for engaging in the slave-trade, was rewarded by the queen on his return with a patent for a coat of arms. ”

“ There was a moment’s silence; then Hawkins, with a shifting in his bold eyes which was not there a little before, said:
“I don’t quite understand.”
“It is difficult,” said Ben, “to recall a face seen in the press of battle, more especially when that battle took place so long ago, as did, we will say, Bunker Hill. But, sometimes, it can be done; and frequently more than one person can recall the face. So, in your proceedings, Master Hawkins, do not be overbold, I warn you. When one knows a thing, as I know it, there are many ways of bringing about a desired end.” ”

“ From his narrative we learn that the settlers had made twenty hogsheads of wine in a single summer from the native grapes, which is perhaps more than has been done there since in the same period of time. [137] The wretched colonists owed everything to the kindness of Hawkins. He left them a vessel in which to return to France; and they had made all their preparations so to do, when they were relieved—for their ultimate destruction, as it proved—by the arrival of a squadron under Ribault. [138] Hawkins returned to England after a voyage sufficiently prosperous, which had lasted eleven months. ”

“ Life insurance companies on to you?”
“Um-ah,” Hawkins had replied.
“Or have you really given it up for good? It can't be, can it?”
“Oh-ho,” Hawkins had yawned, and there I stopped questioning him.
Satan himself must have concocted the business which sent me—or started me—toward Philadelphia next morning. Perhaps, though, the railroad company was as much to blame; they should have known better.
The man in the moon was no further from my thoughts than Hawkins as I stepped ashore on the Jersey side of the ferry to take the train. Yet there stood Hawkins in the station. ”