Eliza Potter

“ Whenever I see an uncharitable act in a gentleman or lady, I think of the words I heard from a mass of people at the funeral of an old citizen. While they were bearing the body away, I heard the voices of many people saying, "Well, he is gone; he was very wealthy, but he never did any good either to the State or city." In contrast to this, was the funeral of a young man, son to a well known gentleman on East Fourth street, he was young, but loved by all. ”

“ Was poor Minnie happy in all this elegance? No; her heart was bleeding, and at every tap at the door to bring her presents she would exclaim, in tones of anguish, "O, God!" She would have no one in the room with her but the hair-dresser alone; she dreaded having her bridemaids in the room lest she should faint or have spasms, as she had during the day. ”

“ Full-dress balls succeeded the fancy balls, and in the hight of the season at Saratoga the ball-room presented a magnificent sight. The wealthiest persons in the country were there congregated, each trying to outvie the other in magnificence and costliness of apparel. The jewels that sparkled amid fine laces and rich silks were only outshone by the beauty of those they adorned. The proud lady of fashion was there, who, having outlived all her better feelings, was only happy, only really existed amid such scenes ”

“ The physician writes his diary, and doubtless his means of discovering the hidden mysteries of life are great. The clergyman, whose calling inspires the deepest confidence, and into whose ear the tales of sorrow are unreservedly breathed, sends forth his diary to an eager world, and other innumerable chroniclers of fireside life have existed; but the hair-dresser will yield rivalship to none in this regard. If domestic bitterness and joy, and all the heart-emotions that exist, cannot be discovered by her, she defies all the rest of the world to find them out. ”

“ I told him there was one blasting thing to slavery—how a man good to his slaves may die, and the slaves fall into the hands of very cruel masters, and can not help themselves; their situation is a great deal worse than those that have had bad masters, and fall into the hands of good ones. He then said slaves could not take care of themselves. I replied, they could if they had a chance: as a good slave would make a good citizen, and a bad slave a bad one; but give them a chance. He said he had a woman he would gladly give her freedom, if she could do anything for herself to make a living. ”

“ So this young lady lost her husband, and all his supposed riches, by her duplicity.
There is no true knowledge to be had of the wealth of the South; for, on some of the plantations on the coast they live very sparing—indeed, some of the slaves have no hats on, and others are scarcely half clad, and that of the coarse stuff that goods are packed in. Such families as these make the greatest show at the opera-house, in winter, in New Orleans, while, during the spring and summer, they barely have enough to sustain nature in themselves and slaves. ”

“ F came, on the list, to a velvet basquine trimmed with deep fringe, he seemed to think it was an impossibility; but there were so many persons both in Albany and New York that knew the extent of my wardrobe, that he could no longer doubt.
I was never more amused in my life, than at seeing the different railroad gentlemen pick up my list, look at and shrink from it, as if it were an impossibility for a working woman to have such a wardrobe. ”

“ The fancy ball of that season, which was perhaps the most brilliant for many years at Saratoga, was a scene I shall long remember. The costumes of the ladies upon that occasion could scarcely be surpassed in taste and elegance. I often wonder what are the destinies that have overtaken the fair votaries of that brilliant evening. I well remember Miss M—, of New York, in the gala costume of an Italian Peasant Girl, in a skirt of white silk, with white and crimson alternate flounces, and head dress gaily festooned with jewels. ”

“ But I knew that without money I should soon be without friends, for in France and England I had seen this fact exemplified, in many painful instances, among the high-born as well as the low.
I have seen those who seemed to have plenty of means caressed and made much of to-day, and cast off to-morrow, when their means were gone. "Better be born lucky than rich;" for riches often take to themselves wings, but something always seems to turn up just in the right time for the lucky. ”

“ The green-house was the most beautiful I have seen in New York. It was filled with very choice flowers, of every shade and color.
My time was now getting short, and although I had numerous invitations from ladies to visit them when I went to New York, I did not have time to get further into many of their houses than the music-room or reception-room; in fact, after leaving the Fifth-avenue I did not see anything to boast of over our own places at home, on the inside of the houses, but on the outside they certainly were exquisite. ”

“ The walks to the springs in the early morning—the display of an elegant breakfast toilet upon the gallery or promenade—bowling in the forenoon—strolls to the Indian encampments, musical matinees, private concerts, lessons in the new dances in the ball-room, battledore upon the lawns and in the parlor, sherry cobblers, mint juleps and brandy smashes, groups for intellectual conversation, everywhere—then the dinner toilet preparations, the evening drives, excursions upon the lakes, moonlight flirtations and pleasant dreams—combine the excitements of a Saratoga day and night. ”

“ The ball-room at Saratoga is between three and four hundred feet in length, and proportionate in width; it is adorned with huge mirrors and glittering chandeliers; the floor is smooth and glassy, and the music always the finest in the world. Upon dancing evenings, dress is here displayed in every variety of elegance. A Saratoga ball is a gorgeous scene. The "Lanciers" and the round dances form the almost entire amusement of the evening at the present time—to the utter exclusion of the old-fashioned and monotonous quadrille. ”

“ Society is made up of varieties; but it is easy for the humblest servant to distinguish the well-born and highly-bred lady, under the plainest garb, from the parvenu woman, whose sudden good luck and well-filled purse dresses her in lace, seats her in a carriage, and places her in circles where she is more endured than courted. ”

“ The Sabbath evening church in France is generally a ball, which startled me a little at first; but it is astonishing how naturally we fall into the tastes and customs of people with whom we are for the time associated. I was miserable at first about it, and very much conscience-stricken at this innovation upon my usual American habits; but finally, I regret to say, I became as French as the rest of them, and dancing on the Sabbath evening, after the day had been spent in strict observance of religious duty, no longer offended my notions of propriety. ”

“ Nevertheless, Saratoga will always be the great watering-place of the New World. Newport has endeavored in vain to rival it; but, being at the sea-side, Newport will always have its worshipers, and so will Nahant, Cape May, and Rye Beach—especially for Western people, and those living in the interior—but for those living permanently at the sea-side, Sara-toga, Niagara, Sharon Springs, Oatskill Mountains, and Lebanon, offer the most attractions, and are always crowded with elegant people. ”

“ These are what I say constitute a lady, not those who would move out of one neighborhood into another for the sake of society, crowding into high circles, making themselves the veriest toadies for the sake of society; they merely put themselves out of society trying to get into it, for their old friends will have nothing to do with them, and the new circle they try to get into are disgusted with them. ”

“ No people love this latter amusement more than the French. I became very fond of it, and always regretted when I could not attend one. On one occasion particularly, I lamented being deprived (by arriving too late for the cars) attending a splendid fete champetre at Versailles: but it was well I did not go, as the whole train, by an accident, was destroyed by fire, and all the passengers were either burnt or disfigured for life. This determined me never again to deplore any disappointment too bitterly.
I saw more in France than Americans of the highest position see generally. ”

“ The United States Hotel, which is the rendezvous of fashion and splendor, occupies a large space of ground, extending on one extremity to the railroad depot, where passenger cars arrive from every direction, several times a day. The immense stretching lawns upon all sides of the hotel are finely ornamented with trees, gravel walks, and shrubbery. The barber's saloon, with its marble baths, basins, and perfumed attendants, are the first objects that meet the eye on entering the left gate of the premises from the depot. ”

“ I told her I did not see any necessity for such people at all, as, if every man was honest, and earned his bread by the sweat of his brow—as you, madam, will see in your Bible—there would not be occasion for such terror at night, as there is no slave-holder, no matter how good he be, if he has any conscience at all, can go to bed at night without fear and terror. ”

“ Tulip said no fashionable people wore them: the hair-dresser curtesied and begged to be excused for saying that Miss Camelia had one, though she had no need of it, but that it certainly would be an improvement to her. Tulip was perfectly delighted to have something to say of Camelia; the latter having many beaux, she thought to acquaint one of these admirers in a quiet way, that Camelia wore a twist, when she did not—she had one, but made no use of it, as Camelia never wore anything or said anything that she feared any person to know. ”

“ It was curious to see and hear the people wonder who I was, and what country or nation I had come from, as I strolled through the parks, palaces and promenades, with my little responsibility by my side. She was very beautiful, and attracted the attention of every one, as her little lips first began to lisp the foreign tongue; and her mother, whom she greatly resembled, was the most admired American lady in Paris at that time.
I acquired the French language with a good deal of facility, and was not long learning to understand remarks made of myself and the child, as we passed along. ”

“ There was stopping at the Burnet House a lady of great wealth; unlike most ladies, she did not dress and dash about, but, like all good mothers, took care of her children. She was in the hotel some four weeks, and none of the ladies looked at her, or seemed to notice her at all.
There was a meeting of the ladies every week—they met in the different ladies' rooms, to make clothes for orphans and poor children—and on these occasions they would have a regular frolic; and the ladies who came to stay the season, or any length of time, would by that means get acquainted with each other. ”

“ I know some in New York and Philadelphia who have spent hundreds and thousands of dollars going to watering-places to make the acquaintance of others from their own city. Some have succeeded, but others I know never can. In Philadelphia there is a certain set that no money, no dashing, not even the influence of friends, can get into but their own circle. I knew some young ladies in Washington City who gave a large ball every year during the sitting of Congress, and invited every person of note and every stranger of rank in the city—all would go. ”

“ I was amused watching the maneuvers of a middle-aged widow lady, from our city, of great wealth, elegantly dressed, playing off as a young girl of fifteen, with a gentleman from New York, nearly of her own age, but dressed as a young man of twenty ”

“ From the ball-room, after the ladies are disposed of, the gentlemen usually repair to the club-rooms of the hotel, where they generally make a night of it—and where, by some strange process or other, many of them find themselves, at the dawn of the next day, divested of means for remaining any longer in this fashionable atmosphere—the consequence of which is that the wives and daughters who shone the most brilliantly upon the promenade and in the drawing-room the day before, are to-day hustled off for home, very mysteriously, in the first train of cars. ”

“ I know a young lady, a native of Cincinnati, who was raised and educated in the same city, beautiful and highly accomplished, who lived principally at the most fashionable hotels, where she made the acquaintance of an Englishman, who was reputed immensely wealthy, and who fell in love with, and married her. For a long time she thought two horses were insufficient to draw them along, and wanted four; she was so pampered that at length she fell out with all her young schoolmates. They staid through the summer, and left in the fall for New Orleans, where they remained some time at the Verandah. ”

“ It was truly distressing to visit her apartments sometimes, as she was at times gay, cheerful, and full of spirits; at others she would walk the floor as if frenzied, then sit down at the piano and run over all the sentimental pieces she could think of; then rummage over old letters, read them, sometimes laugh and sometimes cry. She kept the likeness of her former lover, which she had a great deal of trouble in secreting. ”

“ The gentlemen were all in hunting costume, and the servants in hunting livery. The deer hunt was a brilliant and exciting scene, and my young lady was the most graceful rider I had ever seen.
For weeks after Hallow Eve, everything was quiet—the long walks and rides on horseback were part of every day's occupation, but all other amusements were carried on within doors. I remember nothing of interest for a long time, but a breakfast at Lady R.'s, at which, by some means or other, I managed to get a peep, as I did at everything else that was going on. ”

“ He was a fine looking man, in the prime of life, kind and courteous in his manners, and was possessed of immense wealth. From the moment of his first visit, I saw that he was enamored of my young lady. She, dazzled by his wealth, had accepted the offer of his hand, and they were soon to be married.
"When the appointed time arrived, my young lady went to the altar a not unwilling bride, for she loved position and wealth; and had never been contented with her lot since her father's failure; but I knew, from observing her closely, that she had never felt any love for her intended husband. ”

“ Undoubtedly the gentlemen would have paid her attention, but at Saratoga the gentlemen of the higher circles dare not make a movement outside of the charmed coterie to which they have been admitted; they are slaves to certain female leaders, and, if I were not a poor hair-dresser, I would not hesitate to say they are cowards under petticoat government. They dare not pay attention to a lady out of a particular set, for fear of being black-balled no matter how meritorious the lady may be, and this is a well understood thing at Saratoga. ”

“ Some may think it strange that a white woman should marry a colored man in the North, not knowing he was colored; but it is not more so than a rich white lady of Virginia, who was a belle at the St. Charles, and every place she visited, marrying a man, said to be a millionaire, whose mother was a mulatto, and his father a Frenchman, who sent him to Paris and had him educated. He came back highly educated, a wealthy gentleman, and greatly sought after for his millions and his handsome appearance, and he married this great belle. ”

“ It is more than likely that Colt, the murderer, now walks the earth, and eats, drinks and enjoys himself in some remote corner of it, like other people; for he had wealthy relatives, and wealth will unloose prison bars and untie the knot even upon the very scaffold which is to launch the foulest wretch to his merited doom. ”

“ The upper valet and lady's maid in England never mingle with the household servants. Ladies and gentlemen in England manage their private affairs as they think proper; but many American ladies dare not engage a servant, unless he or she happens to suit all the other servants in the house; they dare not give a five-cent piece to one, or a bite of meat, or a drink of ale, without giving the same to the others, lest they may pout and grumble, and perhaps go and talk and tell stories about her. ”

“ These take conscience for their guide, they don't move with the mass for excitement; they go to please the eye and gratify the sense, and their conscience does not condemn them. Ladies, when in New Orleans, attend the opera, but while here, they condemn it. But, indeed, I don't wonder at their wishing to go in New Orleans, as it is a most beautiful sight to see the ladies at the opera there, to say nothing of the most enchanting music. The young ladies all dress in white, while the married ladies go in full ball costume. All have the most beautiful boquets. ”

“ One of the servants I taught hair-dressing to, in the city, belonged to Mrs. Colonel K. and she must be a kind mistress, as her girl is now a competent hair-dresser, and she brings her to New York every season. I saw her myself, a short time since in New York. I think Natchez a beautiful place, it reminds me of England more than any place I ever saw in my life.
I visited many of the private residences at Natchez, and I must say the more I saw of them, the better I liked them; as indeed any one with the least taste for the beautiful, could not but admire those lovely spots. ”

“ It was during her stay Minnie's reception came off. I told this lady what an affair it was: Three servants elegantly dressed—one at the hall door, one on the stairway, and one at the parlor door to announce the guests. I told her the number of invitations sent out, the splendor of the tables, and what was on them. There were hundreds of dollars spent in flowers scattered hither and thither through the rooms. ”

“ I will now tell you of a lady I know, who was raised in high life in New York. She married a gentleman from the South, a very elegant looking man, and she thought wealthy, supposing the wealth followed the looks—as the northern ladies generally think when a man comes from the South, who is fine looking, elegantly dressed, and so forth, he must be wealthy, but it is not so, for many come to the North to pick up a rich wife, that are depending on the wages of some poor old man or woman, and it may be, had their lands to mortgage to get the money for them to flourish on. ”

“ A lady informed me, last summer, that she had made a three-months' tour in Europe, with her family, and enjoyed herself very much, at about half the expense it would have required to pass three weeks at Saratoga, and not half the trouble. But fashion, in our country, is carried to an extreme which is positively vulgar, and I, the poor hair-dresser, can see it as well as the poor devils of husbands who have it all to pay for, and who are often reduced to penury and madness by the extravagance of their wives and daughters. ”

“ I myself, saw a clergyman from New York there, together with a hundred or a hundred and fifty others, and did not see one there without his white kid gloves, and white vest. It might puzzle my reader to know what class of people these Creoles are. Are they marrying people or not? They call it marriage, but I do not. These young girls are brought up as particularly as any children in the world; they have the very best education that can be given them, are taught music, dancing and every branch of education necessary to the accomplishment of a lady. ”

“ I will now give you a little description of some of the mansions of my ladies in New York; I am proud to say my ladies, as I have worked for them so many seasons. I will commence with the mansion of one well known—G.L., Fifth-avenue. The hall, to begin with, was as large as some of our parlors; on the left hand side were two reception rooms, one blue and the other green; in one of these rooms was a large book-case, all rosewood and looking-glass; it attracted my attention, as a most magnificent piece of furniture. ”