Various

“ He may not sleep: it is not permitted by the faculty. No: thinking is the thing. The time in a bath,—thirty-five minutes of it—passes as a dream, and the thoughts are as difficult to catch and fix as butterflies. ”

“ Then I met a gentleman at the table d'hôte, called Captain Charles. He was most kind, asked me on board his yacht, and, when we had got to Dieppe, said,—
"Miss Ascena, I think we both understand each other. I am afraid I have done very wrong in kidnapping you. Well, now, I am going to put a question to you, straight and fair. When the yacht slipped anchor at Brighton, I had a marriage-licence in our names, in a morocco case in my pocket, upon which any clergyman on the Continent is bound to act. It's no Gretna-Green business, I can assure you." ”

“ Members of Home-Rule persuasion have done the same at that age? Indignant denial of the entire Home-Rule Party, who are horrified this suggestion! "Would they tread on the tail of anybody's coat? And at two-and-twenty? Look at that, now! Bedad! they would just like to get at the Under Secretary's head with a shillelagh for making such a suggestion."
And so the war was carried on, Tim's heart being at last softened by King-Harman declaring that he had saved him from ill-treatment at Dungannon at the hands of some gentlemen who wanted to show him "how to cheer for the Queen" with a stick. ”

“ Still "there is a fundamental difference," he tells us, "between the question of separating the atoms in the molecule, and that of splitting up the atom itself," so that there seems to be a remote chance in any case of my preserving an atom or two of sound sense and intelligence in the midst of impending chaos, the more so, as "even the highest of terrestrial temperatures, that of the electric spark, has failed to shake any atom in two."
In the course of his address Sir H. Roscoe also said, "There is no such thing in nature as great or small." ”

“ An Oxford Mixture.
Pleasure is described as a Comedy-Drama, and the plot is not, perhaps, as strong as some of its predecessors. As "strength" at a theatre invariably spells "murder" or "sudden death," I am not at all sure that this absence of the ultra-melodramatic is not to be welcomed, in spite of the taste for the horrible which is supposed to be the characteristic of those who patronise the pit and gallery. But what the People (with a capital initial letter) lose in the ghastly, they certainly gain in the beautiful. ”

“ By taking a hand in this Donnybrook row.
To "trid on their coat-tails" is policy mad,
But to help them to swing the shillelagh's as bad.
To ape angry Pats in their weakness for fights,
Is the very worst way to get Ireland her "rights." ”

“ The clocks of Royat are still in an undecided state. The uninitiated person who takes his time— (Note, en passant for all baigneurs here—Never be in a hurry, and always "take your time," no matter from where you take it) —from the Hotel, and starts at 7·30 in order to reach his bath by 8,—a walk of five minutes,—will find, on arriving at the Etablissement, that it is just 8·5, so that he has taken a quarter of an hour to do the distance. ”

“ I am Charles, his friend. I wrote to Outhouse and told him Miss Lukinglasse's story—of course, in unscientific language. He replied, it was deeply interesting, and he would come to me at once. He arrived, and immediately performed the old "drop of ink trick," where, it will be remembered, a chap is made to describe what he sees in a little writing-fluid.
Then Outhouse turned to me with a strangely solemn face.
"We have got our finger," said he, "on the tarantula in his hole, the viper in his lair, the pieuvre in his cave. Such monsters should not be allowed to live." ”

“ In consideration of seven pounds a week, I agree to sell my dreams between sunset and sunrise, the payment ceasing on my death, and my dreams, if any, immediately becoming only, and unconditionally my own. ”

“ He was an old man wearing an immense opal on his right-hand little finger. I had never seen such an opal before. The dream was confused, I can only give these facts about it.
Let's see how I am getting on. Mysterious parentage. School life. Old woman in omnibus, ghastly-comical agreement, heavy dinner and consequent nightmare. Is that all? No, I have forgotten the advertisement for the Charing Cross Hotel. All told, I can't say that there is much in my story. Must get on. More heavy dinners, more nightmares. ”

“ Why are these wretched creatures allowed to trade on their fearful afflictions? Are there no free hospitals, no charitable institutions, where they can be taken care of? Of course there are. Is there no power to compel them to go in? Is there no "traitement" for them?
As for the little beggar boys and girls who are brought up to the trade and who waylay us all day, cannot they be put to some useful work and be forced into school? These able-bodied paupers should be employed in mending the footpaths leading up to Gravenoire and the environs, which are in a very bad condition. ”

“ À propos of walks in a wretched condition, why don't their Worships, the Maires of Royat and Chamalière, lay their heads together and mend the footpaths? In making the above suggestion, I do not contemplate wood-pavement. No: but I do think that these beggars might be utilised.
Pensées d'un Baigneur.—A bather has plenty of time to emulate the celebrated parrot. What can he do—the bather not the parrot—in his bath, except think? He can talk, hum, or sing. He can recite: and exercise his voice and memory. ”

“ I am becoming gradually aware that Starmouth, though full, is not exactly fashionable. I infer this, partly from the fact that already I instinctively turn round to look curiously at the speaker, when I hear a duly aspirated "h," à la mode d'Islington, partly from the prevalence and popularity of the whelk-stalls on the Esplanade. Really good society, even in its laxest mood, would scarcely support quite so many.
On the Pier. Military Band. View of Beach from sea very beautiful at night, fairy-like effect of continuous line of light from whelk-stalls. ”

“ Know you not that nothing—positively nothing in the whole history of this crack-brained world—is so mad and so maddening as a Tory article on a bye-election won by a Liberal, or a Liberal article on a bye-election gained by a Tory? ”

“ Starmouth landladies beginning to enter into the humour of the thing—they appear now with a broad grin, repeated on faces of accepted lodgers at windows. They evidently do not consider me a sound investment. Meet other homeless ones, searching—we scowl at one another jealously.
Sound Investment.
Evening is getting on—which is more than I am. Sinking into a state of maudlin self-pity. My poor Drama—and all the things I ordered to be sent in to Plapper's! He, or his lodger, will read by my lamp, bathe in my bath, feed on my jam—while I ... ”

“ Ascena's Narrative.
I am married to Captain Charles, and Outhouse is to live with us for ever. This is pleasant. I am a little disappointed that circumstances over which I have no control should prevent me from telling you why I was a foundling, what was done with my juvenile wardrobe, why my father never returned from Vienna, what on earth became of my dreams when I sold them to somebody or other for a pound a day—in fact, what it is all about. You will say that I am a fraud, a mistake, an unconsidered trifle. You will be right. Mrs. Captain Charles is very stupid and commonplace. ”

“ Jack Lovell been ordained, I fancy he would have made an excellent curate to this reverend gentleman, and that between them they would have formed what is satirically termed a "pretty pair."
It is possible that the original intention of the authors of Pleasure may have been to have conferred on the hero of their piece a Deanery, or even an Archbishopric, and that the recollection of this prior clerical creation may have influenced them to alter their contemplated Church patronage into a temporal peerage linked with twenty thousand a-year. ”

“ Jack Lovell, in the long since of the "fifties." I could not help regretting that the Oxford of thirty years ago had not the unconventional Mr. Nicholls amongst the Undergraduates. Had he been there at the period to which I refer, I undoubtedly should have sought the honour of his acquaintance, but on the condition that he did not introduce me to the aforesaid Jack Lovell, who on matriculating at Drury Lane was about as lively as a mute at a funeral. I was not at all surprised to find him rather out of sorts. Frankly, Mr. Jack Lovell in Pleasure is not a nice young man. ”

“ Tim walked into the Under Secretary with "joy." He "scathed" him, and said all manner of things about him. He used, amongst other weapons his legal knowledge (Tim is a great authority upon all legal questions) to describe him as a "returned convict."
"Look at that now!" observed Joseph Gillis. "It's disgraceful that we should be ruled by a man who has assaulted the perlice!"
In the midst of the excitement King-Harman suddenly returned from his dinner. ”

“ Tim Healy followed on, regretting that Grandolph was not there, no doubt for the same reason that the Irish gentleman with a shillelagh was sorry to see no bald pates neat and handy. He said that the Boycotted were the happiest inmates of the distressful country, possibly feeling that they had plenty of time for drinking and fighting.
Then the various votes were taken and "talked at," in the customary way until the hands of the clock marked Three in the morning. Whenever a chance showed itself of a war-whoop—whiz—and down came the club upon somebody—anybody. ”

“ Pooty gals with complexions like paste-pots, old mivvies gone green with the queers;
Little toffs with their billycocks raked, jest to swagger it off like, yer know,
But with hoptics like badly-biled whelks. Oh, I tell yer it's all a prime show.
Larf, Charlie? It bangs Arthur Roberts, and makes a chap bloomin' nigh bust.
I must take a 'am sanwich to munch. Wen a cove ketches sight on it fust,
And I sings out, "Hi! who'll 'ave a fat 'un?" to see that bloke shudder and shrink,
And go gooseberry green in the gills, is too lovely, mate. Wot do you think? ”

“ After Joicey had wanted to know why great guns should be let off at Tynemouth Castle, and Stanhope had promised that for the future they should be fired (if possible) in a whisper ("Savours of a bang," put in Childers, sotto voce) , the Irish gentlemen got to their favourite sport, King-Harman baiting. ”

“ Possibly, though, Starmouth eggs are not very strong, and require artificial warmth.
Holloway.
Bells. Stream of people, looking good, in tall hats and best things, going inland—unregenerate stream, in tweeds, making for sands. Salvation Army, with fervent but tactless drum. Sunday not a day for Nautical Drama. Beach, "Will I take a tract?" Hate being rude, so accept.... I have gone a hundred yards, and I have fourteen tracts—almost enough to start distributing on my own account.
Evening.—Sacred Music. That is, I go to pier when Military Band is playing. ”

“ It's the patter as does it, of course with good looks;
Gals do like a chap as can gab, as you'll find by them Libery books.
Take Weedee, my boy, or Miss Broughton; you'll see if a feller would tackle
A feminine fair up to dick, he 'as got to be dabs at the cackle. ”