Donal

“ Out of Arctura’s sight Donal had his turn of so-called weakness!
The day was a glorious one, and Davie, full of spirits, could not understand why he seemed so unlike himself.
“Arkie would scold you, Mr. Grant!” he said.
Donal avoided the town, and walked a long way round to get into the road beyond it, his head bent as if he were pondering a pain. At moments he felt as if he must return at once, and refuse to leave the castle for any reason. But he could not see that it was the will of God he should do so. A presentiment is not a command. A prophecy may fail of the least indication of duty. ”

“ In the spring, summer, and autumn, Donal laboured all day with his body, and in the evening as much as he could with his mind. Lover of Nature as he was, however, more alive indeed than before to the delights of the country, and the genial companionship of terrene sights and sounds, scents and motions, he could not help longing for the winter and the city, that his soul might be freer to follow its paths. And yet what a season some of the labours of the field afforded him for thought! To the student who cannot think without books, the easiest of such labours are a dull burden, or a distress ”

“ There were dull sounds of wooden machinery near, but they made no discord with the sweetness of the hour, speaking only of activity, not labour. From the long bleaching meadows by the river-side rose the wooded base of the castle. Donal’s bosom swelled with delight; then came a sting: was he already forgetting his inextinguishable grief? “But,” he answered himself, “God is more to me than any woman! When he puts joy in my heart, shall I not be glad? When he calls my name shall I not answer?”
He stepped out joyfully, and was soon climbing the hill. He was again admitted by the old butler. ”

“ The box, whose ponderosity was unintelligible to its owner, having been hoisted, amid the smiles of the passengers, to the mid region of the roof of the coach, Donal clambered after it, and took, for the first time in his life, his place behind four horses—to go softly rushing through the air towards endless liberty. It was to the young poet an hour of glorious birth—in which there seemed nothing too strange, nothing but what should have come. I fancy, when they die, many will find themselves more at home than ever they were in this world. ”

“ The idea of service rendered by the hand of a being too clumsy, awkward, ugly, to consent to be seen by the more finished race of his fellow-creatures, whom yet he surpassed in strength and endurance and longevity, had at least in it for Donal the attraction of a certain grotesque yet homely poetic element. ”

“ While nations shuddered and gasped, cannon belched forth, thunder and flaming, battleships crashed together and sudden death was almost as unintermitting as the ticking of the clock, among the thousands of pairing souls and bodies drawn together in a new world where for the time being all sound was stilled but the throb of pulsing hearts, there moved with the spellbound throng one boy and girl whose dream of being was a thing of entrancement.
Every few days they met in some wonderfully chosen and always quiet spot. Donal knew and loved the half unknown remote corners of the older London too. ”

“ It had been rapture to lay her cheek and ear against his breast and listen. Everything had been so still. They had been so still—so still themselves for pure joy in their close, close nearness. Yes, the dream had been true. But here she sat in the dark and Donal—where was Donal? Where millions of men were marching, marching—only to kill each other—thinking of nothing but killing. Donal too. He must kill. If he were a brave soldier he must only think of killing and not be afraid because at any moment he might be killed too. ”

“ As the cold and the nights grew, the water-level rose in Donal’s well, and the poetry began to flow. When we have no summer without, we must supply it from within. Those must have comfort in themselves who are sent to help others. Up in his aerie, like an eagle above the low affairs of the earth, he led a keener life, breathed the breath of a more genuine existence than the rest of the house. No doubt the old cobbler, seated at his last over a mouldy shoe, breathed a yet higher air than Donal weaving his verse, or reading grand old Greek, in his tower ”

“ Whether it was his joy in meeting Jennie, or the result of his night’s sleep, or his relief at finding that his career was not wrecked, as he had imagined, or all three together, Lord Donal seemed his old self again, and was as bright, witty, and cheerful as a boy home for the holidays. They enjoyed their breakfast with the relish that youth and a healthy appetite gives to a dainty meal well served. ”

“ To be God’s helper with our fellows is the one high calling; the presence of God in the house the one high condition.
At the end of a week Arctura was better, and able to see Donal. She had had mistress Brookes’s bed moved into the same room with her own, and had made the dressing-room into a sitting-room. It was sunny and pleasant—the very place, Donal thought, he would have chosen for her. ”

“ The boy looked up in his tutor’s face, mutely asking if he should obey her.
“Go,” said Donal.
In less than a minute he came back, his eyes full of tears.
“Arkie says she is going to tell papa. Is it true, Mr. Grant, that you are a dangerous man? I do not believe it—though you do carry such a big knife.”
Donal laughed.
“It is my grandfather’s skean dhu,” he said: “I mend my pens with it, you know! But it is strange, Davie, that, when a body knows something other people don’t, they should be angry with him! They will even think he wants to make them bad when he wants to help them to be good!” ”

“ The gentleman got him his clothes, gave him his wages, and off for ever with him.
Donal went to the gentleman's house, and when he ate and drank his enough, he said: "I have a story to tell you." Then he told him everything that happened to him the night before, until he came as far as the part about the gold. "Come with me till I see the gold," said the gentleman. He went to the castle, he lifted the flag, and when he saw the gold, he said: "I know now that the story is true." ”

“ Donal said to the poor man: "It is not right for two to be against one," and with that he leaped out and began helping the weak side, and he without a thread on him. Then they began laughing, and walked out. ”

“ Davie, thinking he heard her footsteps behind him all the time, flew up shrieking with the sweet terror of love’s pursuit.
“What a darling the boy has grown!” said Arctura when Donal overtook her.
“Yes,” answered Donal; “one would think such a child might run straight into the kingdom of heaven; but I suppose he must have his temptations and trials first: out of the storm alone comes the true peace.”
“Will peace come out of all storms?”
“I trust so. Every pain and every fear, every doubt is a cry after God. ”

“ Donal said no more. He did not feel at liberty, from his own feeling merely, to check the boy. The thing was not wrong, and something might be intended to come out of it! He shrank from the least ruling of events, believing man’s only call to action is duty. So he left Davie to do as he pleased. ”

“ As there is a temptation on the cards, Donal began playing, and he did not stop until he lost every penny of all that he had. "There is no good in my going home now," says Donal; "I'll stake the horses and the cart against all I lost." He played again, and he lost the horses and the cart. Then he did not know what he should do, but he thought and said: "Unless I go home, my poor mother will be anxious. I will go home and tell the truth to her. They can but banish me."
When he came home, Dermod asked him: "Did you sell the oats? or where are the horses and the cart?" ”

“ As he said this, Donal, half mechanically, filled a glass from the decanter his host had pushed towards him.
“I should like you, though,” resumed his lordship, after a short pause, “to keep your eyes open to the fact that Davie must do something for himself. You would then be able to let me know by and by what you think him fit for!”
“I will with pleasure, my lord. Tastes may not be infallible guides to what is fit for us, but they may lead us to the knowledge of what we are fit for.” ”

“ But the good thing in it for Davie was, that he noted the immediate faith with which Donal did or tried to do what he told him: this reacted in opening his mind to the beauty and dignity of obedience, and went a long way towards revealing the low moral condition of the man who seeks freedom through refusal to act at the will of another. He who does so will come by degrees to have no will of his own, and act only from impulse—which may be the will of a devil. So Donal and Davie grew together into one heart of friendship. ”

“ He spoke like one unaware that he spoke.
“Yes, my lord,” said Donal, “that is how most men treat the greatest things! The devil blinds us that he may guide us!”
“The devil!—bah!” cried his lordship, glad to turn at right angles from the path of the conversation; “you don’t surely believe in that legendary personage?”
“He who does what the devil would have him do, is the man who believes in him, not he who does not care whether he is or not, so long as he avoids doing his works. If there be such a one, his last thought must be to persuade men of his existence! ”

“ Donal shut the door—not so softly as he intended, for he was agitated; a loud curse at the noise came after him. He went down the stair not only with a sense of failure, but with an exhaustion such as he had never before felt.
There are men of natures so inactive that they cannot even enjoy the sight of activity around them: men with schemes and desires are in their presence intrusive. Their existence is a sleepy lake, which would not be troubled even with the wind of far-off labour. Such lord Morven was not by nature ”

“ Donal tried to imagine what a smile would do for his face, but failed. He was not in the least awed by the presence of the great man. What is rank to the man who honours everything human, has no desire to look what he is not, has nothing to conceal and nothing to compass, is fearful of no to-morrow, and does not respect riches! Toward such ends of being the tide of Donal’s life was at least setting. ”

“ Forgue mooned about, doing nothing, and recognizing no possible help save in what was utter defeat. If he had had any faith in Donal, he might have had help fit to make a man of him, which he would have found something more than an earl. Donal would have taught him to look things in the face, and call them by their own names. It would have been the redemption of his being. To let things be as they truly are, and act with truth in respect of them, is to be a man. But Forgue showed little sign of manhood, present or to come. ”

“ Arctura was silent. She had inherited prejudices which, while she hated selfishness, were yet thoroughly selfish. Such are of the evils in us hardest to get rid of. They are even cherished for a lifetime by some of the otherwise loveliest of souls. Knowing that herein much thought would be necessary for her, and that she would think, Donal went no farther: a house must have its foundation settled before it is built upon; argument where the grounds of it are at all in dispute is worse than useless. ”

“ Then the excuse she had given for not wishing to meet Lord Donal must have struck him as ridiculously inadequate. When she reached her desk and reflected with more calmness over the situation, she found no cause to censure herself for her hasty departure; although she had acted on impulse, she saw there had been nothing else to do; another moment and she would have been face to face with Lord Donal himself.
Next day brought a note from the detective which went far to reassure her. ”

“ A few shabby hundreds a year, and the associations he would necessarily be thrown into!—However honourable the profession in itself!” he added, with a bow to Donal, apparently unable to get it out of his head that he had an embryo-clergyman before him.
“Davie is not quite a man yet,” said Donal; “and by the time he begins to think of a profession, he will, I trust, be fit to make a choice: the boy has a great deal of common sense. If your lordship will pardon me, I cannot help thinking there is no need to trouble about him.” ”

“ I would remind my reader that Donal was a Celt, with a nature open to every fancy of love or awe—one of the same breed with the foolish Galatians, and like them ready to be bewitched; but bearing a heart that welcomed the light with glad rebound—loved the lovely, nor loved it only, but turned towards it with desire to become like it. Fergus too was a Celt in the main, but was spoiled by the paltry ambition of being distinguished. He was not in love with loveliness, but in love with praise. ”

“ But Donal would not mix the tumbler of toddy she would have had him take. For one thing he did not like his higher to be operated upon from his lower: it made him feel as if possessed by a not altogether real self. But the root of his objection lay in the teaching of his mother. The things he had learned of his parents were to him his patent of nobility, vouchers that he was honourably descended: of his birth he was as proud as any man. And hence this night he was led to talk of his father and mother, and the things of his childhood. He told Arctura all about the life he had led ”

“ Forgue’s face flamed up. The devil of pride, and the devil of fear, and the devil of shame, all rushed to the outworks to defend the worthless self. But his temper did not at once break bounds.
“Allow me to remind you, Mr. Grant,” he said, “that, although I have availed myself of your help, I am not your pupil, and you have no authority over me.”
“The reminder is unnecessary, my lord,” answered Donal. “I am not your tutor, but I am the friend of the Comins, and therefore of Eppy.”
His lordship drew himself up yet more erect in his chair, and a sneer came over his handsome countenance. ”