Nas Ta Bega

“ What have I got? I have no beauty; I am not clever; I am neither romantically poor, like Prissie, nor romantically rich, like you. In short, the fairies were not invited to my christening.”
“One or two fairies came, however,” replied Maggie, “and they gave you an honest soul, and a warm heart, and—and happiness, Nancy. My dear, I need only look into your eyes to know that you are happy.”
Nancy’s blue eyes glowed with pleasure. “Yes,” she said, “I don’t know anything about dumps and low spirits.”
“And you are unselfish, Nancy; you are never seeking your own pleasure.” ”

“ Meg made a happy-sound deep in her throat; slipped from Nessa's back and covered Daiv's lips with her hands.
"There is nothing to fear, Daiv. The Men of my Clan—pah!—they are not like you. They are weak things, meant only for breeding. The Mother will know, the moment she sees you, that you are one like the Gods. She too made the pilgrimage. She will rejoice and be glad. And—" Meg moved closer into the circle of his arms. "She will be gladder still when she sees our happiness." ”

“ Gal. Thou shall be just and perjur’d, and pay my Heart the debt of Love you owe it.
Cor. And wou’d you have the Heart—to make a Whore of me?
Gal. With all my Soul, and the Devil’s in’t if I can give thee a greater proof of my Passion.
Cor. I rather fear you wou’d debauch me into that dull slave call’d a Wife.
Gal. A Wife! have I no Conscience, no Honour in me?
Prithee believe I wou’d not be so wicked—
No,—my Desires are generous, and noble,
To set thee up, that glorious insolent thing,
That makes Mankind such Slaves, almighty Curtezan! ”

“ Enter Megra.
Here's another; if she be of the same last, the Devil
shall pluck her on. Many fair mornings, Lady.
Meg. As many mornings bring as many dayes,
Fair, sweet, and hopeful to your Grace.
Pha. She gives good words yet; Sure this wench is free.
If your more serious business do not call you,
Let me hold quarter with you, we'll take an hour
Out quickly.
Meg. What would your Grace talk of?
Pha. Of some such pretty subject as your self.
I'le go no further than your eye, or lip,
There's theme enough for one man for an age. ”

“ He was but a Man, Meg; a Man, weak and cowardly. With the first breath of fighting he turned and fled the camp. Into the hills beyond."
The Mother intervened, "Perhaps it is better so, my daughter. Perhaps your own madness escaped on his limbs? If ever we win free of this host—"
Meg's new-found world of love and happiness crumpled into shards about her feet. There was a redness on her cheeks, for Daiv and for herself who had let his mouth touch hers. The rains of weakness filled her eyes, and she said, "So be it, Mother—" ”

“ What new limb ever budded on a maimed beast?'
'Ah! the secret,' sang Bembo's soul—'the secret, or the secret grievance, of the cosmos will yield itself only to love. Useless to try to wrench forth its confession by torture. Let retaliation spell love, for once and for ever, and to the infinite sorrows of life will appear at last their returned Redeemer.'
His heart was full as they rode by the narrow streets. His eyes and ears were tranced with colour, the murmur of happy voices, the clash of melodious bells. He could not think of that late vision of horror but as a dream. ”

“ She met no one as she ran up-stairs, and her feet, innocent of shoes and stockings, made no sound. A door was a little open on the first landing, and Meg, peeping in, saw a man seated by a table. He was a tall and powerful man, and Meg knew at once that she was looking at Faith’s father.
There was profound silence in the house, and Meg heard the man, whose face was bowed over his hands, presently say:
“It’s a lie, it’s all a lie. There is no good God. ”

“ The Mother's voice grew weaker, and a hurt-devil pierced Meg's heart. "There will be peace and amity between Women and the Wild Ones. I see a day—a day in the future to come—when mankind may again attain to the heights of the Ancient Ones. In that day the children of the Ancient Ones may return from the evening star to find a new world happier than that from which they fled—"
Daiv whispered to Meg, "Her holiness is one with the Gods. ”

“ Then the white woman wept, and arose and spoke to the man for a long while. And she came back to Suni, and said: ‘What thou hast told me was in my own heart three years ago; yet, because it is the custom of my people, I married this man, who is the son of my father’s brother. But now I shall go away.’ Then the white man came out and beat Suni with a stick. But yet was his sister, whom he called his wife, eaten up with shame, and when a ship came they went away, and we saw her not again. For about two years we heard no more of our white man, till he returned and said the woman was dead. ”

“ But what could induce her to suppose that I objected to Nona's high spirits? I would not, if I could, lower them by a single half-inch. Certainly I should be glad to find something in Nona besides the love of fun.
I am wondering, too, what more I can do with respect to Maggie. True it is, no doubt, that I have not yet succeeded in winning her love. Is this my fault? Everybody cannot suit everybody else: and the winning of another's affection must surely depend in some degree on natural compatibility of temper and of tastes. I hope in time to possess Maggie's trust and esteem. ”

“ Beebe’s books.
“I taught him,” he quavered, “to trust in love. I said: ‘When love comes, that is reality.’ I said: ‘Passion does not blind. No. Passion is sanity, and the woman you love, she is the only person you will ever really understand.’” He sighed: “True, everlastingly true, though my day is over, and though there is the result. Poor boy! He is so sorry! He said he knew it was madness when you brought your cousin in; that whatever you felt you did not mean. Yet”—his voice gathered strength: he spoke out to make certain—“Miss Honeychurch, do you remember Italy?” ”

“ The strongest emotions of existence are concealed in the great drama of life; and though Agnes felt herself grow blind when dinner was announced, yet she afterwards retained a confused recollection of having walked down stairs, leaning on the arm of an officer whom she had never seen before, discussing the hue of a ribbon, or the probability of a war, while her whole heart, mind, and spirit, were torn with contending emotions. ”

“ Nothing was so much as named, the whole connection was sunk; they talked about clubs, muffins, afternoon performances, the effect of the Finnish soul upon the appetite, quite as if they had met in society. Nothing could have been less like society—she innocently supposed at least—than the real spirit of their meeting; yet Bight did nothing that he might do to keep the affair within bounds. When looked at by their friend so hard and so hintingly, he only looked back, just as dumbly, but just as intensely and, as might be said, portentously; ever so impenetrably, in fine, and ever so wickedly. ”

“ But, although they had had company from time to time, it never happened to be unexpected, and Meg had never had an opportunity to distinguish herself till now. It always happens so in this vale of tears, there is an inevitability about such things which we can only wonder at, deplore, and bear as we best can. ”

“ You do not believe that old Meg can read the stars, you jest at her art. But the time comes when you shall weep. Look up yonder at that old gray house, so dark and forbidding, among the trees. It has been accursed and uninhabited for years; but to-night I see in the shining stars a new shadow hovering, vulturelike, above it. You are mixed up in it—you, whom fate has sent here to-night. For you I read woe and despair. You will go mad for a woman's love! ”

“ Neither Simon nor Beca has further use for life. Paralysis shattered the old man the day of Sara Jane's wedding; the right side of his face sags, and he is lame on both his feet. Beca is blind, and she gropes her way about. Worse than all, they stand without the gates of Capel Sion—the living sin of all the land: they were married after the birth of Sara Jane, and though in the years of their passion they were all that a man and woman can be to each other, they begat no children. ”

“ I thank God I am in a great measure dead to these things.... I will fulfil my promise to look after Glory. My constant prayer is against Agag. It is so easy for him to get a foothold in a girl's heart here. This great new world, with its fashions, its gaieties, its beauty, and its brightness—no wonder if a beautiful young girl, tingling with life and ruddy health, should burn with impatience to fling herself into the arms of it. Agag is in London, and as insinuating as ever.”
VI.
On Sunday morning his fellow-curate came to his room to accompany him to church. ”

“ Don't you know that no one can bear to hear the woman he loves beg for the man who has——"
"Whom she loves!" cried Meg. "Give me his life! If you know what love means, give it to me! I know that you hate him! ”

“ The melancholy of Begon at the thought of his isolation—"Bare is back without brother behind it"—is an adaptation of a common old heroic motive which is obscured by other more showy ideas in the romances. The conditions of life are here essentially those of the heroic age, an age which has no particular ideas of its own, which lives merely on such ideas as are struck out in the collision of lawless heavy bodies, in that heroic strife which is the parent of all things, and, among the rest, of the ideas of loyalty, fellowship, fair dealing, and so on. ”

“ Is there not some other way? Is there not something that can be done? Will you not help me? Great God! Must my brother be sent back to the hell of Siberia—or must you——"
"Zara," I interrupted her, deliberately taking a step backwards and putting my hands behind me, fearing that I might clasp her in my arms in spite of my resolution to remain calm and to continue to be master of the situation, "I think there is another way; I believe that something can be done; I will help you; I do see why you suffer. You are torn by so many conflicting desires, child; you do not know which way to turn. ”

“ "I wish I had no heart, it aches so," sighed Meg, after a pause. ”

“ Meg was shedding tears at the thought that her short lived freedom had come to an end; while her companion was fighting for her freedom in his heart. Should he tell her what would set her free? Should he throw away from his own life the only thing that gave it happiness? At one moment he made up his mind that he would keep the girl in ignorance of the truth, at the next the sight of that little head buried in the bracken made him feel that any sacrifice on his part was worth making to secure her happiness. ”

“ He thought of Meg, tender and sedate, a noble young girl, as she was when they had become engaged. He thought of his old parents, their fond joy in him, their ambition, with which he was in accord, that he should become one of the most brilliant and influential men in the country. ”

“ No, hope would not visit her heart that day, and as she lay in bed watching Meg putting on her clothes, the tears rolled down her pale cheeks, and dark and sceptical thoughts filled her mind. When Meg noticed her tears, she spoke.
“It’s all a lie, Meg; it’s all a big, big lie.”
“Wot’s a lie,” asked Meg, stopping in her dressing, and staring at Faith.
“Wot you telled me about Jesus. He didn’t never love the little children; ef He loved ’em, and ef He is as strong as you say, He’d ha’ helped us to find my little baby Roy.” ”

“ And then it was that Agnes turned upon her mother and gave utterance to these bitter, brutal truths,—
"I've learned them from the older people I've seen all my life,—the people who come to our house. They judge other people that they don't know anything about in just such calculating ways. ”

“ The news of this accident came speedily to Nisa's ears, for the report of evil successes come sooner to the ears of lovers than that of happy events: what her grief was it is not necessary to express, otherwise than in representing Nisa far from her parents, out of her own country, and from any friends, and which was most, from the dear presence of him for whose sake she had quitted all these, and for whose loss she was almost out of her wits. But as the greatest encounters of fortune do sometime bring forth the greatest strength and courage of the mind ”

“ The Coquetry of my Niece has triumphed, and ’tis to her that I am sacrificed. In one respect however I am fortunate: I shall not be the only one who laments a disappointed passion. You too shall know, what it is to love without hope! I daily expect orders for restoring Agnes to her Parents. Immediately upon her arrival in Spain, She will take the veil, and place an insuperable barrier to your union. ”

“ but, contrary to the custom of his country, he made her vows she should be the only woman he would possess while he lived; that no age or wrinkles should incline him to change; for her soul would be always fine, and always young; and he should have an eternal idea in his mind of the charms she now bore; and should look into his heart for that idea, when he could find it no longer in her face. ”

“ Must pass through Becca’s vale of dark remorse,
In whom the joy of heav’n and grief of hell
Are seeking one another to expel;
Well then if the afflicted take recourse
To Him who calms the storm and gives surcease.
The ruing of our sins, the soul’s repentance,
The coming to oneself, and meeting God,
Is, after all, the only way to rest,
All else is but a vain and foolish quest,
A hiding from the terror of His rod,
A coward’s quailing for a righteous sentence. ”