Uncle Joseph

“ For all that Uncle Joseph has an automatic on him, he’s an arrant coward, and maybe he’s hidden somewhere amongst the rocks or cliffs, sweating with fear, because the Hindu’s between him and his means of escape! ”

“ It surely meant that Uncle Joseph was no longer there—and that meant that Uncle Joseph had fled, forsaking his stores of food and liquor and his comparative safety (certainly, nobody could have got into that tower while he sat facing its doorway with a pistol in his hand!) for gradual starvation and precarious wandering. But if he had fled, where had he gone? Had the vessel of which he had spoken to me arrived off the island during the morning, unseen of Pepita and myself, busied with our own labour, and had he escaped to it? ”

“ Half an hour ago he could have set forth the doctrines of Uncle Joseph as matters of fact, not of opinion.
But Miss Falconer did not appear to be offended. She seemed rather pleased with Uncle Joseph.
"I don't like them much myself," she announced. "Except Mother, of course. I like little girls best—and then little boys." She squeezed Philip's arm in an ingratiating manner. "But why doesn't Uncle Joseph like women? They can't do anything to him! They can't stop him doing nice things! They can't send him to bed!" concluded Miss Falconer bitterly. ”

“ I claim the tontine; I claim it now. I believe Uncle Masterman’s dead.”
“I must put a stop to this nonsense,” said Michael, “and that for ever. You say too near the truth. In one sense your uncle is dead, and has been so long; but not in the sense of the tontine, which it is even on the cards he may yet live to win. Uncle Joseph saw him this morning; he will tell you he still lives, but his mind is in abeyance.”
“He did not know me,” said Joseph; to do him justice, not without emotion.
“So you’re out again there, Morris,” said John. “My eye! what a fool you’ve made of yourself!” ”

“ I went to visit him, and he abused me because I had become favourable, and because uncle Joseph had a private conversation with me. I had always treated him with the greatest respect, and entertained a very high opinion of him. He was a man of good education, and had considerable display; and, being the elder of the family, he naturally elicited from us more or less respect. ”

“ Next morning I was out in the garden marveling over the wondrous beauty of their surroundings, when Uncle Joseph came to look for me. His is a very sweet spirit, and I may be wrong, but there is pity in my heart for him. [Pg 92] Not that Aunt Élise (as she calls it, although I should pronounce it Eliza) does not try to do her duty by him, but that her education has given her false standards. ”

“ Sometimes he went to Cheltenham, where Uncle Joseph, roaring like any sucking dove, was devoting his reclaimed existence to Territorial Associations and Boy Scouts. To be quite frank, Philip was secretly conscious of a feeling of slight boredom at Cheltenham. A perfectly happy couple are undeniably just a little dull, and Uncle Joseph and the Beautiful Lady were so entirely wrapped up in one another and their daughter—an infant of quite phenomenal wisdom and beauty—that the ordinary pleasures of life were not for them. ”

“ Continual spitting was one of Uncle Joseph’s worst habits, and as his sister had indulged him in it, it had become a source of great annoyance to every one. Thinking that Uncle Joseph referred to her grandfather, and feeling glad that the latter had attempted a reform, she entered the room known at the cottage as the parlor, where the rag carpet and the six cane-seated chairs and the Boston rocker were kept, and where now the little round table was nicely laid for two, while, cozily seated in the rocking-chair, reading last night’s paper, and looking very handsome and happy, was Guy! ”

“ It was upon these occasions that Uncle Joseph would discourse upon Woman, and wonder, with Philip, why she had been sent into the world.
"There appears to be no parallel to the female mind," Uncle Joseph would say, "in any of the works of nature. ”

“ But he is not quite sure of himself; he has no warrant to search houses without a better reason than any he can give. He will catch me again if he can, no doubt; but as you say, Uncle Joseph, as long as I stay here in your cupboard, I am safe."
"So safe," laughed his uncle, "that I am going to begin my vintage to-morrow under their very noses, leaving Riette and the dogs to guard you, mon petit. But you are wrong, you are quite wrong. No police spy would dare to make such an arrest without a special order. ”

“ When his uncle caught the look in his big eyes, he drew him over and stood him between his knees and asked him what he was going to do when he was a man. 'Marry Jennie and go round the world on our wedding tour,' he answered.
"And that was his one end and aim from that time on. He and Jennie discussed the trip then with gravity and eagerness and perfect confidence; for they knew that they were going, when Joseph was grown up. No one ever called him Joe; he was too earnest. He was my Uncle Joseph. ”

“ When the trouble is bitter, and the burden is heavy, it is cruelty to Uncle Joseph to keep away; it is kindness to him to come here."
The recollections that the old man had called up found their way tenderly to Sarah's heart. She could not answer him; she could only hold out her hand. Uncle Joseph bent down, with a quaint, affectionate gallantry, and kissed it; then stepped back again to his place by the musical box. "Come!" he said, patting it cheerfully, "we will say no more for a while. Mozart's box, Max's box, little Joseph's box, you shall talk to us again!" ”

“ Having expressed himself in these uncompromising terms, Uncle Joseph abruptly dismissed the subject, and tried to turn the conversation to a cheerful every-day topic by asking his niece how she had passed the night.
"I was too anxious to sleep," she answered. "I can't fight with my fears and misgivings as some people can. All night long they keep me waking and thinking as if it was day."
"Thinking about what?" asked Uncle Joseph. "About the letter that is hidden? about the house of Porthgenna? about the Myrtle Room?" ”

“ But look here!—if these chaps come back, as they’re sure to when they’ve meditated, as Uncle Joseph styled it, not a word about that face at the window! We’ll keep that to ourselves. And for anything we know, there may be others round about—Cherry, for instance. One thing’s certain, anyhow—if that Hindu chap knows that Uncle Joseph is in this house he’ll hang on to it and him like glue—bet your stars! ”

“ He has some delightful ideas, which, happily, he does not overwork: a case in point is the brief but rapid career of Uncle Joseph, who employs the most criminal methods in order to attain the most charitable ends. ”

“ If the girl liked a man old enough to be her father, why it only showed she was a girl of sense, who knew the world, "Ay, and more than that, sir, a girl who knows her own mind!"
By degrees, however, Uncle Joseph, having, it is to be presumed, forgotten the tender experiences of youth, was surprised to find his habits altered, his snuff-box put aside, his after-dinner slumbers abolished, nay, the fashion of his garments derided, his very tailor changed, and tyrannical exception taken to the thickness of his boots. ”

“ So, in self-defence, men have pacified the dear things by calling them mysterious, which is highly flattering, and by giving them up for three-quarters of their days. Uncle Joseph has probably been arguing unsuccessfully with Aunt Georgiana, as he always will, because he never took the trouble to master her mental and emotional processes. But that does not prove the general truth of his proposition. His is just the mind which grows those weeds of everyday thought the seeds of which thoughtless south-west winds blow about as they do the seeds of thistles. ”

“ Can't you tell me?—you will try, Uncle Joseph—I am sure you will try. Only help me so far, and I think I can answer for the rest. If they keep the keys where they used to keep them in my time, ten minutes to myself is all I should want—ten minutes, only ten short minutes, to make the end of my life easier to me than the beginning has been; to help me to grow old quietly and resignedly, if it is God's will that I should live out my years. Oh, how happy people must be who have all the courage they want; who are quick and clever, and have their wits about them! ”

“ Uncle Joseph was sick for three months and had to hire a clerk and pay doctors' bills and—it was five years. I helped Jennie pick out the gray alpaca for her traveling dress. I was fourteen then; I am thirty-four now; and she and Uncle Joseph were my dearest friends. I had spent hours with them over maps and railroad guides and steamship schedules, ever since I could remember; and now to be really helping to pick out the traveling dress for that wonderful journey—wedding dress and traveling dress in one—it was marvelous. ”

“ As each person catches sight of it, he or she sits down. Uncle Joseph is still, to the general merriment, wandering about and getting angrier every moment.
Mr. C. That's it, Uncle, you're warm—you're getting warm! ”

“ His aunt and uncle inquired after the welfare of Joseph’s parents, and when they heard of the terrible poverty in Joseph’s home they immediately sent their trusty steward to help the family with food, money and clothing. Joseph wished to return home in company with the steward, but he was persuaded by his aunt to stay with his [57] uncle for a short visit. His genial presence soon brought comfort and happiness to his sad cousin Hannah. Often did they sit together in the beautiful garden attached to David’s house and read the stirring stories of the Bible. ”

“ He would not leave her alone with Guy, even though Guy was true to Lucy as steel. He would stay; he would watch; and in time he would win the young girl waiting now for him in the hall below, waiting to tell him ’mid blushes of shame and tears of regret how she had meant to pay him with her very first wages, but now, Uncle Joseph was coming home, and he must wait a little longer. ”

“ It seems like a long, long while ago since Uncle Joseph told it to me as a recollection of his youthful days; and as Uncle Joseph was then no longer young, it must have been long, long ago that it happened. It was dull work sitting day after day on the hard benches and listening to lectures on therapeutics and anatomy which I had already heard twice verbatim—for I was a third-course student—and it was scarcely more entertaining to sit alone in my cozy little chamber and pore over the dry details of my medical textbooks. ”

“ But where there's a will there's a way, and the Lord tempers the wind to the shorn lamb, and if we ain't got any cash, there's others worse off. Your uncle Joseph is breakin' up fast, and he's ten years younger than me. ”

“ It was quite dark when we got to Uncle Joseph’s house, and I think I had a little fear of meeting his wife, whom I can scarcely call “Aunt” without an effort, so different is she from the simple women that I love. Her very first greeting disturbed me, it was so extravagant, and as full of embraces as if she had always known me; but she was very kind when she learned that my head ached, and supported me tenderly to my chamber, where she helped me undress, and then with her own [Pg 91] hands, although they have several domestics, brought me a bit of toast and tea. ”

“ Uncle Joseph had one peculiarity. He transacted no business with the female sex. If help was required of him, application must be made by a man.
On Wednesdays Philip wrote—or more usually typed—more letters, but none to ladies. On this day he addressed himself to gentlemen, tersely informing such that if they made search in the envelope they would find a cheque enclosed, "in aid of the most excellent object mentioned in your letter," which it would be a kindness to acknowledge in due course. Uncle Joseph used to sign these. ”

“ To me, from a boy, he lived in harmony with the Spirit of God, and I have good reason for believing that his father and his Uncle Joseph watched over him continuously, and when Joseph was nigh to death with typhoid fever at President Hammond's on the island of Maui, I feel sure that those two exalted brothers, walking hand in hand, visited and ministered unto him, whereby his life was preserved and he was enabled to complete his earth life mission, leaving on record a testimony of one of the purest lives ever lived by man. ”

“ And at that, seized with a sudden idea, I hurried down the stair again, to find Uncle Joseph smoking his pipe, his eye on the barricaded door.
“You’ve seen him, Benjamin, I perceive,” he observed as I approached. “I see by your face you’ve seen him! Is it the man you supposed—that Hindu man?”
“Yes!” I answered. “He’s alone, and he’s walking, pretty fast, right away to the other end of the island. And—I want to get out!” ”

“ Now an old gentleman and—feeble, I may say”— Oh! if Uncle Joe could have heard him! “A feeble old man is not the one to be burdened with other folks’ relations. When I go back to town, now, I’ll be able to report that the missing uncle of this waif has been found at last, and that—Shall I say when you will call to reclaim her?”
Father and mother looked into each other’s eyes, one questioning the other, and reading in each but the same answer. Then said Joseph Smith, rightful uncle of our Josephine:
“Spare yourself the trouble, Mr. Wakeman. My brother’s child is our child, as dear and near. ”

“ The painful fact disclosed by Uncle Joseph, of their plebeian origin, and the marriage of Mr. Armand—whose station in society was not to be questioned—with Mary Jones, the watchmaker's daughter, had softened and subdued their tone of feeling, and caused them to set up a new standard of estimation. The old one would not do, for, judged by that, they would have to hide their diminished heads. Their conduct at the Springs was far less objectionable than it had been heretofore, partaking of the modest and retiring in deportment, rather than the assuming, the arrogant, and the self-sufficient. ”