Anonymous

“ FROM THE AGE OF PUBERTY TO MARRIAGE the law, is the same for both sexes—full employment of mind and body, temperance, purity, and perfect chastity in thought, word, and deed. The law is one of perfect equality. There is no license for the male which is not equally the right of the female. There is no physiological ground for any indulgence in one case more than in the other. No man has any more right to require or expect purity in the woman who is to be his wife than the woman has to require and expect purity in her husband. ”

“ How can you get men to do anything right, or refrain from any wrong thing? There are three motives—fear of punishment, hope of reward, and sense of right or the principle of duty. The first of these is the lowest, but often the most effectual; the second is higher, and appeals to hope and the love of happiness; the third, the highest of all motives, pure and unselfish as the love of truth, as in mathematics, acts on noble minds with great power. Men of real conscientiousness love the right for its own sake. They are just from love of justice; pure from a sense and love of purity. ”

“ It not merely acts as an organ of sense, and a protection to the surface of the body, but it clothes it, as it were, in a garment of the most delicate texture and of the most surpassing loveliness. In perfect health it is gifted with exquisite sensibility, and while it possesses the softness of velvet, and exhibits the delicate hues of the lily, the carnation, and the rose, it is nevertheless gifted with extraordinary strength and power of resisting external injury, and is not only capable of repairing, but of actually renewing itself. ”

“ LOVE AND MARRIAGE.
The attraction of the sexes for each other, though based upon the dual principle of generation which pervades the living world and which has its analogies in the attractive forces of matter, yet pervades the whole being.
LOVE IS NOT MERELY the instinctive desire of physical union, which has for its object the continuation of the species—it belongs to the mind as well as to the body. It warms, invigorates, and elevates every sentiment, every feeling; and in its highest, purest, most diffusive form unites us to God and all creatures in Him. ”

“ The way of life has many dreary places in it, and a man needs a companion to go with him. A man is sometimes overtaken with misfortune; he meets with failure and defeat; trials and temptations beset him; and he needs one to stand by and sympathize. He has some stern battles to fight with poverty, with enemies, and with sin; and he needs a woman that, while he puts his arm around her and feels that he has something to fight for, will help him fight; that will put her lips to his ear and whisper words of counsel, and her hands to his heart and impart new inspirations. ”

“ The love of children for their parents, of parents for offspring, brotherly and sisterly love, the love of friendship, of charity, and the fervor of religious love, are modifications of the same sentiment—the attraction that draws us to our kindred, our kind; that binds together all races and humanity itself, resting on the fatherhood of God and the brotherhood of man. It is but natural that this love should vary in degrees. Attractions are proportional to proximity. Family is nearer than country; we prefer our own nation to the rest of the race. ”

“ EVERY MAN AND EVERY WOMAN, living simply, purely, and temperately—respecting the laws of health in regard to air, food, dress, exercise, and habits of life—not only can live in the continence of a pure virgin life when single, and in the chastity which should be observed by all married partners, but be stronger, happier, and in every way better by so living.
Chastity is the conservation of life, and the consecration of its forces to the highest use. Sensuality is the waste of life, and the degradation of its forces to pleasure divorced from use. Chastity is life; sensuality is death. ”

“ I can fancy that when a mother has washed her baby, and before she dresses it has a good romp with it, smothering it with kisses, calling it all the beauties and darlings and pets and jewels she can think of, and talking any amount of nonsense at the top of her voice—the baby all the while cooing, chirping, or even screaming with delight—at such a time, I say, I can easily fancy that the angels are looking on approvingly and enjoying the scene. ”

“ Nature generally assists art in the choice of partners. We instinctively seek in the object of our desires the qualities which we do not possess ourselves. This is a most admirable arrangement of Providence, as it establishes an equilibrium and prevents people from tending to extremes; for it is known that unions of dwarfs are fruitful of dwarfs, that giants proceed from the embrace of giants, and that offspring of parents alike irritable, alike passive, alike bashful, etc., inherit the prominent qualities of both to such a degree as to seriously interfere with their prospects in the world. ”

“ It is they alone that clothe the whole creation with the magic charms of color, and fix on every object the identity of figure. It is the eyes alone, or chiefly, that reveal the emotions of the mind to others, and that clothe the features with the language of the soul. ”

“ Earl Granville, when laying the foundation-stone of the Alexandria Orphanage, in England, thus expressed himself in reference to the great value of children: “Few will deny that a child is 'an inestimable loan,' as it has been called, or refuse to acknowledge, with one of our greatest poets, that the world would be a somewhat melancholy one if there were no children to gladden it.” Children, more than any other earthly thing, equalize the conditions of society—to rich and poor they bring an interest, a pleasure, and an elevation which nothing else that is earthly does. ”

“ At one moment the instruments of receiving and imparting pleasure, at another the willing or passive instruments of pain, their influences and changes are as varied and boundless as the empire of thought itself.” Through their silent expressions the mind reveals its workings to the external world in signs more rapid and as palpable as those uttered by the tongue. ”

“ Nothing can be more orderly, right, proper, and holy than marriage. It is not, however, quite so simple an affair as you may fancy. Every good thing (and this is one of the best) requires some effort to obtain it, and unless you take the right course you must not expect to succeed.
You may often see a young woman who, from not entertaining correct views on the point, is certainly taking a wrong course, her endeavors being rather to make what she considers a good match than by acquiring kind and orderly habits to qualify herself to become worthy of a worthy husband. ”

“ It is, I admit, difficult to determine how much of one's income should be devoted to dress, but I think few will deny that at present dress occupies too much time, attention, and money. For my own part, I confess I am most affected by female dress, and although certainly I like to see women well dressed, and would rather see them a little too fine than slovenly, I am often pained at witnessing the extravagance and, to me, ridiculous taste exhibited. ”

“ It is the part of a young man to watch, to be actively desirous of meeting with a suitable partner. In doing this, his first consideration should be to seek for such a one as he can make happy; not to look primarily for beauty, fortune, wit, or accomplishments—things all very good in themselves, but by no means constituting the essentials of happiness. If he is influenced by pure and simple motives, he will not find, or expect to find, more than one that can satisfy his desire, and he will not be in much danger of exciting the envy or the rivalry of his companions. ”

“ Hence, there is rarely any freshness to be seen in a maiden of thirty; while the matron of that age, if her life has been a happy one, and her hymeneal condition of not more than ten years' standing, is scarcely in the heyday of her charm's. And the same rule will apply with equal force to the other sex; for, after the first prime of life, bachelors decay and grow old much faster than married men. ”

“ The man of studious habits should marry a woman of sense and spirit rather than of erudition, or the union will increase the monotony of his existence, which it would be well for his health and spirits to correct by a little conjugal excitement; and the man of gloomy temperament will find the greatest relief from the dark forebodings of his mind in the society of a gentle, but lively and smiling partner. ”

“ MARRIED PEOPLE MUST ASSIMILATE or they will have but few enjoyments in common. The man of full habits and warm nature had better remain single than unite his destinies with a woman whose heart repulses the soft advancements of love; and the sanguine female in whose soul love is the dominant principle should avoid marriage with a very phlegmatic person, or her caresses, instead of being returned in kind, will rather excite feelings of disgust. Thus the discriminations to be made in the choice of a partner are extremely nice. ”

“ VERY CAUTIOUS before you allow a young man to pay you such marked attentions as may lead to marriage. It is not, you know, to terminate in seven years, like an apprenticeship or a commercial partnership, but it is an engagement for the life of one of the parties. I want you, then, to profit by the experience of others, too many of whom enter into marriage from light and low considerations, and not to settle in life till you, and also your [79] friends, see that there is a reasonable prospect of your securing happiness, as well as comfort and a respectable position. ”

“ LIFE AND LOVE, can safely hold a virgin in his arms, and respect her virginity, if he have [112] but the motives and the will to do so. If he be pure in his will, how can he commit impurity? If a woman be sacred in his eyes, how can he profane her? It is not that men have not the power of restraint, the power to do right; it is that they lack the motive. They have lost the sense of right; they are even impelled to do wrong by the pressure of opinion around them. Boys and young men are driven into libertinage by the ridicule of their companions. Vice is considered manly. ”

“ When a man marries he gives himself up entirely to another being; in this affair of life he first goes out of himself, and inflicts the first deadly wound on his egotism. By every child with which his marriage is blessed, nature renews the same attack on his selfhood, causes him to live less for himself, and more—even without being distinctly conscious of it—for others ”

“ The idea that every attraction, every attachment, every love between the sexes must lead to marriage—that no love can be tolerated but with that end in view—is a very false and mischievous one. It deprives men and women of the strength and happiness they might have in pure friendships and pure loves, and it leads to a multitude of false and bad marriages. ”

“ Owing to this difference of diet, the daughter of a man of wealth, who keeps a good table, will be as adequate to certain duties of married life at eighteen as the daughter of a humble peasant at twenty-one. Singular as it may seem, it is none the less true, that love novels, amorous conversations, playing parlor games for kisses, voluptuous pictures, waltzing, and, in fact, all things having a tendency to create desire, assist in promoting puberty and preparing young persons for early marriage. ”

“ From the first interview there is frequently thrown around the maiden a peculiar, undefined spell; she will feel differently in his presence, and watch him with other eyes than she has for [84] the rest of men, and in due time, when he shall ask her to decide upon the question which shall seal the temporal and eternal destiny of two human souls, she will gladly respond, giving in loving trustfulness that which is the most precious, the most enviable thing on earth: a maiden's heart, a woman's love. ”

“ It is seldom that such a marriage occurs in which the incentive is not the wealth of either of the parties.
Marriages are usually contracted to gratify various desires, as love, fortune or position. The results are more truthfully stated by an eminent divine in the following:
“Who marries for love, takes a wife; who marries for fortune, takes a mistress; who marries for position, takes a lady.”
[120] To a man there is but one choice that he can rationally make, a marriage of love. My female readers, I hope, will decide rather to wed a husband than the master or the elegant gentleman. ”

“ In polygamous nations the female has not attained that social state that she has reached in countries where the male is entitled to but one female as his wife. Woman's highest sphere is not in the harem or zenana, but in that dignified state in which she is the sole connubial companion of but one man. It is debasing to her nature, and subversive of her dignity in the rank of humanity, to make her the equal only with others in the marital union with one male. ”

“ Let me here impress upon you most deeply, that it is only by making others happy that we can become happy ourselves. The angels, we may be assured, are happy, because they are always actively good; and for a similar reason it is that God himself is infinitely happy. If you try to secure you own happiness by any other means than a faithful discharge of your duty to God and your neighbor, you will certainly fail. ”

“ Cultivate purity of heart and thought.
No woman is fit to become a wife who is not perfectly modest in word, deed, and thought. No young man, who is worth having, would ever entertain the thought for a moment of taking the girl for a wife who is habitually careless in her conversation and displays a levity in her manners. Young men may like your free and hearty girls to laugh and talk with, but as to taking one for a wife, let me assure you they would not tolerate the idea for a moment. ”

“ Children are the most helpless of all young creatures and require the care of parents for the longest period. The care of a husband for his wife, and of a father for his child, is an evident necessity. The proper care and education of a single child should extend over at least fifteen years, and that of a family may reach to thirty years, or throughout the greatest part of an ordinary life. During all periods of pregnancy, childbearing, nursing, and the education and care of a family, every woman has a right to the sympathy, sustaining love, and constant aid of her husband. ”

“ Suppose you see him coming towards you, in an unoccupied mood, or recklessly or passively walking past you, all that remains for you at that moment is to concentrate your thought, and send it into him as before explained, and, to your astonishment, if he was passive, he will look at you, and now is your time to send a thrill to his heart, by looking him carelessly, though determinately, in the eyes, and praying him, with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, that he may read your thought and receive your true love, which God designs we should bear one another. ”