Various

“ There always exists a certain sneaking friendly feeling for ghosts, especially at Christmas time, but it's nothing to the Paddies who experience a hurtful resentment if you won't listen to their familiar banshee yarns, and Banshee Castle, by Rosa Mulholland is full of their sighing and wailing; they like to make themselves heard. ”

“ Blank Threestars was an eminent member of the London County Council, and had distinguished himself as a supporter of the cry, "One Man One Job." In his opinion a workman should stick to his work, and try no other. ”

“ Frenchman becomes quite friendly. Even Madame says a word or two. Begin now to disregard half seconds of daylight, and treat it as all tunnel over two hours' long.
At last arrive at Genoa, our faces streaked with soot, our lungs full of smoke, our collars nearly black, and all the superciliousness shaken out of us. Frenchman almost affectionate when we part. ”

“ For myself, I would gladly brave the censure of the world, and if in after years men should say in scorn he married her though there was nothing against her, I should still be happy, knowing I had your love. ”

“ With unerring instinct the true mythical authors have been tracked, and their deeds brought to light. The immortal genius may at last enjoy his own wealth, which he finds fits better now that it has not to be stretched. ”

“ The narrative is a moving one, full of local colour, plastered on pictures of the outskirts of India in John Company's day. Mr. Edward Carlyon is a properly pragmatical person, with true British obstinacy knocking his head against any wall that comes in his way. He makes my Baronite almost think kindly of the Inquisition. And this is genial at Christmas time, when we like to think well of everybody, "and so bless us all, Pen-and-Inkysition included," quoth Tiny Tim, alias
The Gay Baron de Book-Worms.
A SEQUEL TO THE STORY OF UNG. (A Fable for those who Resent Criticism.) ”

“ He was extremely exhausted; but the gentleman in black kept him going. He insisted upon being answered this, and answered that, until the eminent Member of the London County Council became almost senseless with fatigue. He closed his eyes once more, and when he reopened them, found that his own servant was standing by his side.
"Going to Spring Gardens, Sir?" asked the faithful adherent. "If you are it is time to be off."
"No," returned Mr. Blank Threestars; "never again. I shall resign. I have had enough talking to last me a lifetime." ”

“ A great deal is expected from the collaboration of Sir Arthur Sullivan and Mr. F. C. Burnand, more especially when the work is staged at the Savoy, and is brought out under the direction of Mr. D'Oyly Carte. The brilliant audience that gathered on Wednesday night for the first performance of The Chieftain evidently came full of expectation, and as evidently went away filled with satisfaction. ”

“ The youthful but indiscriminating would-be smoker will find unending bliss in the joys of Our Smoking-Room Concert, his pleasure though commencing with a bang won't end in smoke. Feminine hearts who long for the sunny south will revel in the Riviera Cosaque. ”

“ Q. Is it not necessary that you should acquire an immense amount of knowledge to undertake the duties of your profession worthily?
A. Certainly; and we welcome any kind of safeguard that will protect the public against fraud and imposture.
Q. Then you consider your profession very seriously?
A. Undoubtedly. It is the most important profession in the world; not a man, woman, or child exists who has not derived some benefit from its exercise. ”

“ We were all local candidates, since we all lived in the village itself. But this appeal to "local" feeling is always an excellent card to play. I know in my own case that I secured five votes at least from men who at the last General Election had voted for our sitting Member because he was the "local candidate." ”

“ En Route to the Mediterranean.—I am alone, until a Frenchman and his young wife come in and glare at me, presumably because I am already there. The ordinary honeymoon couple anywhere are supercilious enough, and a French honeymoon couple perhaps more so. If you gaze absently at the back of Madame's hat, when you are looking at the mountains beyond Madame's head, Monsieur glares at you with the concentrated fury of an angry menagerie. But a French couple, travelling in Italy, which loves the Triple Alliance, develope an air of superciliousness quite unapproached ”

“ You must be fitted by nature and art to obtain the confidence of those who pay you a professional visit. You must be tender and true. You must be able to converse on every subject under the sun, and distract the attention of a sufferer from his pains by causing him to listen to your anecdotes. ”

“ I should also state that, as the poll grew nearer, my wife became increasingly confident that I should be beaten—"and that, Timothy," she added, "you won't like." I pointed out (and I still think it was a natural thing to do in the circumstances) that the most formidable obstacle in the way of my succeeding was the apparent lack of interest taken in the affair by my family. This made Maria perfectly furious. ”

“ If he were a bricklayer, he should lay bricks; if he were a painter, he should daub doors with colour.
"We don't want one man interfering with another man's business," said Mr. blank Threestars. "Let the shoemaker stick to his last."
And this declaration of policy made him extremely popular in his own set. He was considered a sound reformer. "Sound" in more senses than one, as he happened to be particularly partial to the tones of his own voice.
One day about Christmas time, when the holly and mistletoe were much in evidence, Mr. ”

“ This is a long tunnel. But then at the end I shall see——Here is the end. Down with the window. There's the Mediter——Halloo! Another tunnel. Up with the window. At last this one is coming to an end. Down with the window again. Look out. There's the Medi——Halloo, another one! Up with the window again. French people still glare, but, it seems to me, more mildly. A fellow-feeling of suffocation, no doubt.
Well, this is long. At last we're out. Down with the window once more. There's the Med——What? Another one. Up with the window once more. This is a long one. Begin to cough. Frenchman also coughs. ”

“ Yes, a purse it shall be. Jack never has any money—but that is only a detail. Showy, isn't it?
Violet. Awfully pretty! Made in Germany, too, it says; that makes it so much more romantic.
Daisy (groaning) . Come away! Jack's a morbid patriot. Won't look at a thing not made in England. I must choose some other day. And we shall be horribly late for lunch. Really, present-choosing isn't as easy as one thinks!
Violet. Not for Jack, at any rate!
[Exeunt hurriedly, and empty-handed.
"Charge of the Light Brigade."—My Gas Company's bill.
[pg 292]
A "B. AND S." AT THE SAVOY.
Sir Arthur. ”

“ If a kid, he's not a fool! With his ferula and stool,
His blackboard and his lump of chalk, he's showing
How to work an ironclad! It's amazing that a lad
With a lemon-face should be so wondrous knowing! ”