Various

“ Nature's nothink, dear boy, simply nothink, and natural right don't exist,
Unless it means natural flyness, or natural power of fist.
It's brains and big biceps, wot wins. Is men equal in muscle and pith?
Arsk Bismarck and Derby, dear boy, or arsk Jackson the Black and Jem Smith.
There'd be precious few larks if they wos, Charlie—where'd be the chance of a spree
If every pious old pump or young mug was the equal of Me?
It's the up-and-down bizness of life, mate, as makes it such fun—for the ups. ”

“ He is a man of short speech, but his humour is as broad as his drinks are long. He affects a rowdy geniality and a swaggering gait, by which he seeks to overawe the inoffensive. Though he has but a small stock of intelligence, he passes for a wit amongst his associates by dint of perpetually repeating an inane catch-word. With this, and a stamp of the foot, he will greet a friend who may meet him before lunch. ”

“ Caspar moves to and fro, places faggots on the coals, blows the fire, which blazes and fumes. In the smoke certain cabalistic letters appear.
Now for it! Every moment is precious. "Every bullet hath its billet," saith the old saw. ”

“ And you, who have been with me all these years, and know my ways, omitted to let loose the bloodhounds? You grow careless, Monkshood!
Monks. (wounded) . Your Ladyship is unjust—I did unloose the bloodhounds; but the ferocious animals merely sat up and begged. The child had took the precaution to provide herself with a bun!
Lady B. No matter, she must be removed—I care not how.
Monks. There may be room for one more—a little one—in the old well. The child mentioned that she was your Ladyship's granddaughter, but I presume that will make no difference? ”

“ Never believed a man of his weight could get so high up into the air by sudden swift gyration. Mouse, more frightened even than the man, dodged [Pg 96] round the Benches and disappeared. "All very well once in a way," said Bond this afternoon, sinking into a seat far removed from the Cross Benches; "but it is foolish unnecessarily to court danger; won't catch me standing at the bar any more when Gorst is orating."
Before the Mouse came.
And his word is as good as his Bond.
After Mover and Seconder had completed their story, Grand Old Man appeared at the table, and talked for nearly an hour. ”

“ Oh, I Say, Old Man, I wish you'd run upstairs and hunt for my Aunt, and bring her down to Supper. She's an Old Lady, in a Red Body, and a Green Skirt, and a Blue and Yellow Train, with an Orange Bird of Paradise in her Cap. You can't possibly mistake her. ”

“ Leads little Elfie to couch.
Elfie (sleepily) . Thanks, dear Grandma, thanks.... Now I shall go to sleep, and dream of you, and the dogs, and angels. I so often dream about angels—but that is generally after supper, and to-night I have had no supper.... ”

“ Though the Roysterer is generally fuddled, he is rarely glorious. Having once driven a tandem, he is credited with a complete knowledge of horses, which, however, he invariably fails to turn to any profitable account. He begins his day with whiskey cock-tails, continues it with a series of brandy-and-sodas, followed by unlimited magnums of brut Champagne, and concludes it with more Champagne, a liberal allowance of liqueur brandies, and two or three tumblers of whiskey-and-seltzer to round off the night. ”

“ Leaves of a Life. So Montagu Williams, Q.C., and Worthy Beak, styles his Reminiscences. The Leaves are fresh, and will be Evergreen. Nothing in his Life has become him so well as his leave-ing it. I fancy that the most popular part of it will be the early days—his salad days—when his leaves were at their greenest. ”

“ Ought's nothink, and that as is, is; all the rest isn't wuth a old Song.
Bad as Buggins, the Radical Cobbler, these mugs are. Sez Buggins, sez he,
Wos it Nature give Mudford his millions, and three bob a day to poor me?
Not a bit on it. Nature's a mother, and meant all her gifts for us all.
It's a Law as gives Mudford his Castle, and leaves me a poor Cobbler's Stall.
All I've got to say, Charlie, is this. If so be Nature meant all that there,
She must be a fair "J." as a mater. I've bin bested out of my share. ”

“ He soon becomes the boon companion of shady sporting men, latter-day coachmen, pink and paragraphic journalists, and middle-aged ladies, who, having once been, or been once, on the stage, still affect the skittish manners of a ballet-dancer. ”

“ Having benefited only to a limited extent under the will of his father, he is not generally reputed to be wealthy, but he is always extravagant. Yet he manages to steer clear of the painful consequences of writs with some astuteness. In middle-age he becomes obese, and cannot go the pace as formerly. ”

“ Poor pilgarlicks whose forbears wos honest rich perks earn't expect to enjoy.
Life's a great game of grab, fur's I see, Charlie. Robbery? Well, call it that.
If you only lay hands on your own, mate, you won't git remarkable fat. ”

“ No one in crowded House thought of these miserable men. Harcourt made his speech; Gorst demonstrated that Motion was indefensible, being both too late and too soon; the Mouse came and went amid a spasm of thrilled interest; Gladstone delivered oration in dinner-hour ”

“ Thinks I, I'll take stock of friend Bob.
Well, he ain't much account, that's a moral; a ramblinger Rad never wos.
Old Huxley's wuth ten on him, Charlie, though he's rather huppish and poz.
Are men really born free and equal? Ah! ”

“ He suffers from no restraint in consequence of his marriage. He is adored by a certain class of burlesque actresses. He flatters them by adoring himself. He owns a small house in Belgravia, but he frequently lives elsewhere. ”

“ Someone dropping in, accidentally mentioned that Howorth had brought on Portugal business. Sage jumped up nearly as high as Bond when he saw the Mouse. Had an Amendment on the paper referring to Portugal; had prepared a few paragraphs elucidating it. If opportunity missed, speech would be lost. So bolted off ”