Various

“ But the Poet himself, with his sensitive nature—who can fathom the profound depths of his soul now stirred by two such entrancing sights as the high-smoking blackbird-pie won by his own prowess, and the little monarch for whose sake all this was brought about? The delicious smell excites him like draughts of rich old wine, and all the soul within him bubbles up exultingly, and he improvises on the moment. ”

“ The little lever which has moved the mighty events to this result sits in his high chair, a spoon in one hand, a fork in the other, and beats a grand tattoo ornamented with numerous little shrill sounds of baby joy, in honor of the glorious sight, the like of which his eyes have never seen before. Father and mother gaze enraptured upon the joyful sight of the crowing youngster, exchange intelligent and admiring glances at his precocity, and inwardly congratulate themselves upon possessing such a wonderful improvement on babies in general. ”

“ If the bird is an orphan, examine the books in the Surrogate's office until you find her father's will; if her papa is still alive and kicking, persuade her to take his bank-book into the back kitchen and there count the shekels. Never let your heart get into the mess, for that complicates matters.
If you have a hankering for widows, never run after one who has been in the business more than once. They become so knowing after two or three trials. Besides, there is a fatality about some women—they're bound to be widows. ”

“ Time has proved that even the weakest are wise in their own way, and are given knowledge for self-protection; and woman, although she may not command success by main strength, nor by force of will, has learned that when other resources fail she has only to stoop to conquer: that her weakness is her strength, her tears her weapons, and her baby her shield. ”

“ OTHELLO.—"Of course it's all right, only don't have too much to say to him. There's that confounded boot-jack at last. You see, my dear, that people will talk if you give them the slightest reason. There's a button off this shirt. Are you all ready for me to put the gas out?"
With the extinction of the gas, the curtain would naturally fall. And it would fall upon a pleasant, well-constructed, probable, and eminently realistic play. As it is, OTHELLO ends with a complicated massacre worthy of the Bowery Theatre in its bloodiest days.
MATADOR.
"Parlez aux Suisses." ”

“ In view of these sloops on the extreme left, may we not say that this is a mast apiece?
This exquisite gem was completed about the same time as the Pacific Railroad, and yet how different. Here the eye of the beholder lingers fondly upon the scene, drinking in at every point new and inspiring beauties. I presume that the traveller upon the Union Pacific may drink at every point if he wants to, but he can't linger. Their time-table doesn't allow it. ”

“ This dizzy elevation has been scaled by daring adventurers who cut their names in the soft, yielding rock; not so many, it is true, of late years. They have rather fallen off.
There is food for contemplation in this beautiful object; also in the hotel which you perceive not far off. ”

“ The poet had now reached that stage of parental experience where he realized to its fullest extent, what many another poor mortal has learned to his sorrow, that a baby in the house is the greatest tyrant ever invented. ”

“ It's all very well for you to have an elegant creature of your own, dressed in a white robe and a blue ribbon; but, if you did not win her in the proper manner, you feel degraded every time you gaze on her. ”

“ The true sportsman in this field is very wary. He casts his optics around him until he finds the bird for which he thinks he had better go. A vast amount of skill can properly be expended here. If the hunter is young and rich, he can go for almost anything; if he is verging towards gray hair and false teeth, he must not demand too much in the way of beauty or money. If he has reached the well-preserved period, he can have youth or beauty, but not wealth. No true sportsman ever goes for brains, because it is almost impossible to find them, and, when found, they are very unsatisfactory. ”

“ Promptly, therefore, I dashed into the midst of another review of the French situation, predicated upon the late French defeat. It was what I might call a perfect "stinger." It used France up completely. The grande nation wasn't left a peg to stand on; and as for King WILLIAM, I proved him to be a butcher of the most surpassing kind. In the short space of two hours I had covered forty-three pages more of foolscap, and was about entering on my forty-fourth, when there came a banging at my door for the third time, and a despatch was handed me announcing that there had been no battle at all! ”

“ Time passes on, the savory smell of the cooking birds occasionally saluting his nostrils and making his mouth water with anticipation, when at last comes the joyful summons, and all seat themselves around the table and engage with unbounded admiration in this wonderful issue of the day's labor. ”

“ He realizes the cruel fact that Fame is fickle, and he makes one desperate effort to grasp it, by offering determinedly to walk around the world in ninety days, stopping for his gruel only at Hong Kong. ”

“ If this freedom of inquiry is allowed much longer, protection itself will have to be protected. Let that Western editor prosecute his studies further, until he becomes convinced that Americans are naturally a lazy, idle, and shiftless people, and never would, or could, engage in any industry unless they were so protected in it that it can be made as flourishing as ship-building, machine-shops, and manufactures of all kinds are now. ”

“ We all know that he devotes himself to the duties of a private detective; that he drives his sweetheart crazy by using very improper language to her, and by coolly denying that he had ever had any serious intentions toward her. ”

“ Be careful that there is no little sister or brother around when you go in for business, for snickering is catching, and the bird may fly before you have delivered your shot.
Some shady nook is the proper place in which to do this part of the business, unless the weather be cold; in that case I have known game to be brought down by a sportsman in the hall, where the house was heated by hot air. Parent birds sometimes interrupt the sportsman just as he imagines that he has a sure thing, which certainly is very aggravating. ”

“ BRINGING DOWN THE GAME.
Nowhere is more real skill required than here; If you do not make a dead shot, you might better have saved your ammunition. Almost every wounded bird escapes. Always make sure of your aim, and, when you fire, bring down the bird. The proper course to pursue is this: carefully use your ammunition, and, when you think things are favorable, and you get a good sight, make your shot. You can always deliver it best on your knees. ”

“ But from the greatest to the worst of our interpreters of "HAMLET,"—from BOOTH to FECHTER,—there is no modern actor who believes in the real insanity of the melancholy Dane. The fault of his folly, therefore, lies with the dramatist, and not the actor. ”

“ It is only to be hoped that the industry of Europe, which offers the field for the exercise of these improvements, will continue to be piously thankful for the noble position which it is thus made to hold in the march of progress. ”

“ Tour mind naturally reverts to your English ancestry, to those early settlers, the noble forefathers of this colony, who forsook their old homes and braved the perils of the deep till they reached these distant shores. ”

“ The carrier-pigeon is a bird. It should not be confounded with the elephant or hippopotamus, and only the most ignorant persons would suppose any connection between them. It flies through the air, as birds generally do, and though not lazy it lays. The eggs of this bird are valuable. When properly hatched they produce young pigeons, which often grow up and go into the express business like their parents. ”

“ Those with skirts are considered much the most stylish. Corsets still maintain a firm hold upon the female portion of the community, and hoop-skirts will not be worn outside of the clothing this winter, but will be tastefully concealed.
Ultra fashionable ladies will wear shoes and stockings this season, not only in the street, but in the house, and Mr. PUNCHINELLO is glad to see the favor accorded to so sensible a fashion. Children will dress very much as the means of their parents allow, but as a rule, their clothes will be cut smaller that those of the adult members of the family. ”

“ Black is the favorite color for boots, and the most recherché and convenient style is that in which small loops are placed at the top of the boot-leg, one on each side, so that they may be drawn on after having been taken off; thus avoiding the necessity of wearing them at all times. Any one who dislikes sleeping in boots will appreciate this arrangement. Gloves will be made with separate compartments for the fingers, and few persons now wear the old-fashioned mitten at the opera. The best fastenings for gentlemen's clothing will be found to be buttons. ”

“ If I had been a single man I believe I could have hanged myself without a pang. Sheer mortification soon lulled me to sleep, however, and when a second banging at my door awakened me it was nightfall, and there were sounds of rapid movement and confusion outside. ”

“ It is owing to this peculiarity of our humanity which always has been and always will be, that the world has received the remarkable lines placed at the heading of this article. Since the Poet's time there have been attempts by other aspirants to immortality to continue the story so well begun, and add a lengthy jingle to the already completed verse, conceiving in their futile minds the idea that it was an unfinished structure upon which they could build for themselves a temple of fame ”

“ The game should be elegantly dressed for the occasion, at the expense of the parent birds, of course. You must take care that the bag is so tied that the bird cannot escape, though they do say that, if you go to the neighborhood of Chicago, the bird will escape, even if the bag is fastened in the most careful manner. I advise you, therefore, not to emigrate in that direction.
By the aid of the foregoing lessons any man should be enabled to catch a bird which, in the course of a month, he will wish he had left alone. ”

“ The nations of Europe appear to suppose that their advance in civilization is marked by improvement in their rifles rather than in their school-houses. The possession of the needle-gun by Prussia stimulated France to invent the Chassepot, and now it appears that Russia claims to have a new rifle which surpasses them both. If we may judge from Prussia's actions in this war, this improvement in rifles leads to improvement in rifling ”

“ It is considered the correct thing, among gentlemen of position in the fashionable world, to wear a cotton or linen shirt under their ordinary suits. Only a small portion of this garment must be exposed,—a part of the bosom, for instance. Handkerchiefs should be hemmed. Stockings are to be worn, this year, under the boots, and although a different arrangement may be allowed to old gentlemen, in icy and sleety weather, it is not considered proper to wear woollen or other stockings over the boots at evening parties or other social reunions. ”

“ BAGGING THE GAME.
This should always be done in the very best style. First-class churches, and two or three parsons, can generally bag you and the bird properly. Notice of the bagging should always be given to your friends, and the bag should be large enough to hold not only the bird, but also any first-class houses, greenbacks, or silver-ware which may be furnished by the friends of the bird. ”

“ And finally, after having killed the young man who was to have been his brother-in-law, he stabs his own uncle and calmly watches the dying agonies of his mother, who has succumbed to an indiscreet indulgence in adulterated whiskey. His death is the only redeeming incident in his career,—only he should have died in the first, instead of the fifth act. ”

“ Now it is a well-known fact that families, especially where there are wives and babies, do not take kindly to poverty and its concomitants, but emphatically insist upon having something to eat, drink, and wear. ”

“ The Proprietors and Publishers of THE AMERICAN CHEMIST, having purchased the subscription list and stock of the American reprint of the CHEMICAL NEWS, have decided to advance the interests of the American Chemical Science by the publication of a Journal which shall be a medium of communication for all practical, thinking, experimenting, and manufacturing scientific men throughout the country. ”

“ Never try lectures to young women with this kind of bird. The bleached blondes are difficult to handle. If you suspect the bleaching, try a judicious mixture of both kinds of ammunition.
Some kinds of ammunition are adapted to all classes. Rings, especially diamonds, fans, bouquets, and jewels can be used in quantities only limited by the amount of your bank account, or of your employer's petty cash. ”

“ The scarcity of kid gloves, caused by this war, will, no doubt, force many a fair one to bare a hand during its continuance. Yet the conservative bigots say that women should not vote unless they are willing to do their part in the fighting. ”

“ They don't know how great is the favor they have conferred on the world by this humane act. We shall ever remember the magistrates of Lyons with feelings of regard, for the judicious energy displayed by them in this matter.
Ehau! France.
Unhappy France! Well may her children weep over the misfortunes that have befallen her. But alas! TITTERS cannot cure them. ”