Plattsburgh, New York

“ Sigh for the bottle of New England rum.
Oh, face the facts, and let the fiction go—
I'll bet "la vie des tranchèes" will be bum.
One moment's rest, then back into the mill
With butt and point to lacerate and kill.
I often wonder what the Germans teach
One half so cultured as our "Bay'net Drill."
For war is hell, and Plattsburg not a jest,
And yet, by gravy, we will do our best,
Till submarine and Kaiser are forgot,
Or Angel Gabriel hollers out, "At rest!" ”

“ And when I came to Plattsburg I had to stand in line,
To get a Requisition, from five o'clock till nine;
I stood in line till night for the Captain to endorse it;
But the Q. M. had one leggin' left; I used it for a corset.
We stand in line for hours to get an issue for the squad;
[20] We stand in line for hours and hours to use the cleaning-rod;
And hours and hours and hours and hours to sign the roll for pay;
And walk for miles in double files on Inoculation day.
Oh, Heaven is a happy place, its streets are passing fair,
And when they start to call the roll up yonder I'll be there ”

“ THE 8TH NEW ENGLAND
(Air: Michael Roy)
The Eighth New England Infantry is the one that shows them how;
If Kaiser Bill could see us drill, the war would be over now.
Out in front of the Hostess House, as we go marching by
Where the ladies are sitting, they drop their knitting, and all begin to cry:
"For oh! For oh! What a wonderful company!
It must be either the General Staff or Company 8 N. E."
If Elihu Root could see us shoot out on the rifle range
He'd send us to Russia to help lick Prussia—oh, what a glorious change! ”

“ Lord help Kaiser Bill!
In the morning at the warning,
"Clothes on Company Nine!"
Feeling rocky, into khaki
Jumps our valiant line.
We shun strawberries in the valley
Off the Peru road,
But in mess shack none can beat us
[127] At the order "Load!"
In Pabst-less Plattsburg, bone-dry rookies,
Waiting for our kale,
Our healths we drink in foamless bumpers,
Full of Adam's ale.
But when the "Sammies" take their Münchener
On the river Rhine,
The toast will be to old New England
And to Company Nine. ”

“ Bill Hallstead simulates the gun
He's sort of short and fat
And doesn't look much like a gun,
But he's pretty good at that.
And they've elected me a horse,
Off-horse of the wheel pair;
I tie a white cloth on my arm
[23] So they can see I'm there.
Then when the battery is formed
With each man in his place,
They line the "pieces" in a row
Just like a chariot race.
Bill Barnum's "Greatest Show on Earth"
Has not a thing on us;
We tear around the old parade
And kick up clouds of dust.
For it's gallop all the morning long,
They never let us walk. ”

“ Or occupy a first-line trench,
'Midst poisoned gas and dead men's stench,
And hand grenades that burst and maim;
May not all hell our spirit quench—
God give us guts to play the game.
4
If through entangled wires and mud,
Charging the Boche, we madly run,
With comrades dropping, dyed with blood,
And sickening sights and sounds that stun,
And in death's duel meet the Hun
'Midst shell holes, smoke, and battle flame,
Steel clashing steel and gun to gun—
God give us guts to play the game. ”

“ A simple murder drill.
So I want no women 'round,
When I'm tearin' up the ground,
A shadow-pointin' Boches with my gun-knife.
[65]
OUT O' LUCK
If, in spite of hopes and promises, your pay day doesn't come,
If the sergeant antedates the call, or Friday's fish is bum,
Or the waiter empties soup on you—don't let 'em see you glum.
You're out o' luck, that's all. You're out o' luck.
If you must deploy your skirmish line with nothing in your dome,
Or send supporting picket-lines to countermarch the Somme,
The chances are you've guessed it wrong and "may as well go home." ”

“ What does it matter?
My little silences slide along the floor . . .
Clamber up my bunk
[42] To grin at me in my loneliness.
Then I think of the millions
Who have none for whom to be lonely,
French, English, German, Russ. . . .
What does it matter the language?
We are all one,
Levelled in solitude.
And I laugh at the silences,
And laugh to see them scurrying back to their corners,
Gibbering.
[43]
THE BALLAD OF MONTMORENCY GRAY
I
Since we came to Plattsburg Training Camp
Upon the 12th of May,
A lot of clever candidates
Have fallen by the way ”

“ Was not born in New England.
If in a deep wood or desert vast
One would never be lost
With Captain Barnes. He knows
How to orient the landscape
By sun or star.
Lieutenant Meyer is tall,
He holds his hat on
By a strap
Under his chin.
[103] A cyclone couldn't blow it off.
Captain Latrobe came on
From Texas way,
"Sif bofe" his saddle
And himself. He might as well
Have saved the freight on the saddle,
For he has no horse to ride on.
He leads his steedless troop
On charger invisible.
Arnold, Major now, fares better.
His horse is real
And has white feet. ”

“ We are handy with the rifle and the bayonet and such;
And though Fritz is used to running and is sort of hard to touch,
We will show him when we get there that it doesn't matter much,
When Five is marching on.
(Chorus)
III
You may say that we're not modest, but our faults we will confess,
We hate to rise at Reveille, we're not too fond of mess;
And we never, never, never get a good line at Right Dress,
But we do keep marching on.
(Chorus)
IV
Now all you other fellows who are going overseas,
Just remember that we guarantee the foeman to appease ”

“ The Infantry, the Infantry, with Dirt Behind Their Ears)
I
The Cavalry, the Cavalry, they haven't any horse,
They're taking riding lessons by a correspondence course,
You'd think they were equestrians to hear the way they talk,
But when it comes to riding, why! We always see them walk.
II
The Cavalry, the Cavalry, are marching down the street,
The Cavalry, the Cavalry, with blisters on their feet,
The Artillery is mounted now and ready for the course;
But we never see the Cavalry with any kind of horse.
[116]
WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO DEUTSCHLAND
(Air: Hit the Line for Harvard) ”

“ It was the Plattsburg idea adapted to war conditions. Without it the situation regarding men might easily have been the same as the situation regarding guns, aeroplanes and uniforms.
Plattsburg, being in New York State, naturally became the type of camp, since in 1914 Wood, having been relieved of his position as Chief of Staff, was detailed to command the Department of the East with his headquarters on Governor's {218} Island in New York Harbor. ”

“ We'll be singing this song
As we're marching along.
When marching on the Rhine, boys,
On our hunt for Kaiser Bill,
We'll shoot the Germans out of France,
We'll keep them on the run;
When we get there the world will know,
New England has begun,
To fight for Uncle Sammy.
We'll do our best,
And never will rest,
Until Old Glory rises to the sun.
Over the sea, boys,
Over the sea to Victory,
New England will fight on forever.
[135]
EGGS—AGERATED
Since I've come to Plattsburg
I've eaten so many eggs,
That feathers now adorn my skin,
And spurs are on my legs. ”

“ A hundred men a-riding where no horses can be seen.
Oh, Colonel dear, ye'll grieve to hear Artillery's the same,
Compared to simulating guns, a horse is rather tame;
[124] Last night I was the left rear wheel—it made me moighty sore,
But dommed if I will be the swab and crawl inside the bore.
'Tis the most amazing spectacle that's ever graced the green,
A-firing rounds and salvos where no cannons can be seen.
[125]
DON'T SEND ME HOME
(Air: Don't Take Me Home)
Don't send me home, please don't send me home. ”

“ If some Reserve Archangel tries to make me stand in line.
[21]
THE FIRST TIME
My legs are moving to and fro
I feel like a balloon;
How my head swims, first time I go
To boss the damn platoon.
My throat and mouth are full of paste
There's nothing in my hat;
My belt is winding round my waist
But where's my stomach at?
[22]
ONWARD CHRISTIAN SCIENCE
Our Christian Science Battery
Without a gun or horse,
Is just a simple oversight,
That will be changed, of course.
But while we're waiting patiently,
And longing for the day,
They have a funny little game
They make us fellows play. ”

“ So, papa, if I can
When I get to be a man,
I want to be a doughboy, too.
[119]
OUR BATTLE HYMN
(Air: "Battle Hymn of the Republic")
I
We have heard a lot about a place they call "Somewhere in France,"
And we're going "Over There" to put some pep in the advance;
"There's a long, long trail before us," but you bet we'll take the chance,
As Five goes marching on.
(Chorus)
Glory, glory, for we're going to beat the Hun,
Old Hindenburg will execute a new strategic run,
And Kaiser Bill will find he has no place beneath the sun,
When Five goes marching on. ”

“ PERRY, A NEW YORK MILL TOWN
No place in America could have afforded better than Pittsburg a chance to study the factory life of American girls, the stimulus of a new country upon the labourers of old races, the fervour and energy of a people animated by hope and stirred to activity by the boundless opportunities for making money. It is the labourers' city par excellence ”

“ At any rate, Boss Platt has concluded that the “best citizens” of the Citizens' Union are, after all, not beneath his notice, and that if they will accept from his hands a Mayor of Greater New York satisfactory to him, he may be willing to consider what they may petition him for as to some of the other offices. In other words, the Republican machine under Mr. Platt's orders has manœuvered itself into a position in which it is open to a dicker. ”

“ Write the story of Pittsburg dramatically; crystallize the big exposures of the last few years through which bankers and politicians have been going to prison, culminating with the present crisis in the City Council; bring out the economic significance of these occurrences to Pittsburg, to the United States. Such an article will help all of us to see where we are "at," will help develop civic consciousness in New York, Chicago, San Francisco. It is immensely well worth doing. ”

“ H. T. Morgan)
1
On guard! We're always on our toes;
Plattsburg has taught us pep.
We're good at being Red or Blue,
But oh, that step!
Though we may lose a few patrols,
Just watch the Allied drive.
Right where they reach the Rhine, there
You'll find New England Five.
2
Forward! We're on our way to France;
We'll make it hot for Fritz.
With bayonet or rifle,
Watch us score all hits.
Heads up! We're after Hindenburg,
We'll show him we're alive;
When we get through with him, he
Will know New England Five.
[130]
DOUBLE TIME
(Air: Tammany)
Double time, double time! ”

“ For three thousand years its perfection has baffled and taught the genius of every generation. It can be copied, but never yet has been equalled. Surely, notwithstanding your love of New York and devotion to the ticker, you must admire the Parthenon.' I answered him, if I could be transported at this minute to Fifth Avenue and Broadway and could look up at the Flatiron Building, I would give the money to rebuild that old ruin. ”

“ Munching their finger tips.
I lie stretched flat upon my bunk. . . .
I count the cracks in the pine-boards above me.
I am alone.
These others who fill the air with talk
About right and wrong . . . life and death . . . ”

“ And clapped his hands in glee to see his papa start to shoot.
(Chorus)
"O, look at him, Ma-ma, see him hold his gun,
And every time he shoots it off it hits him on the bun.
He puts his hand around the thing and gives an awful pull,
The red flag there is waving, O! it must have been a bull."
[114]
COMPANY 2 NEW ENGLAND
(Air: "Lord Geoffry Amherst")
Oh, good old Uncle Sam declared a war on Kaiser Bill,
When, his pledges "Bill" neglected to fulfill;
And the War Department ordered that a training camp should be,
So they sent us up to Plattsburg, don't you see? ”

“ To the west, in a niche between Graytop and the double peak of Windy Mountain, he could place the county-town; to the north, beyond the pretty headlands and the shining coves, the prison of Plattsville was waiting to receive him. Farther to the north was Canada; and to the south the great waterway led toward the populous mazes of New York.
With an impatience bordering on nervousness he realized that these general facts did not help him. He must avoid the prison and the county-town, of course; while both New York and Canada offered him ultimate chances. ”

“ The old home of the Maitlands overlooking Rittenhouse Square had been the scene of her début. In all the refined and decorous gayeties of Philadelphia's ultra-fastidious society she had participated. She had even looked upon money standardized New York in its delirium of extravagance, at least in so far as a sedate and well-born Philadelphia family could countenance such golden madness. During the year she had ranged like a conqueror—pardon the masculine appellation—between Palm Beach in the South and Bar Harbor in the North. ”

“ You know already from description that Philadelphia is remarkable for its regularity and order. It has in this respect the character of the Quakers, and is a quiet city in comparison with New York, has no palaces or remarkable buildings, but is everywhere well built, has beautiful broad streets planted with trees, and behind these, broad causeways and many magnificent private houses, with marble steps and doorways, and particularly so in the fashionable streets. In each of the great quarters there is a large, green market, planted with trees like a park, where it is delightful to walk or sit. ”