Groomsman

“ A gentleman or lady who is acquainted with both bride and groom must speak first to the bride; but if a stranger to either, may first speak to the one with whom he is already acquainted, who will then introduce the other. If a stranger to both bride and groom, the first groomsman must make the introduction. ”

“ The groomsman, for there should be one or even more, looks well to the list of those invited to the ceremony, to see what persons are absent, because it is the custom of married persons not to make the marriage visit to any one who has been guilty of this impoliteness. ”

“ If, as is often the case, the whole bridal party go to the depot to see the happy pair start for the wedding trip, it is then the first groomsman who secures tickets, checks baggage, and secures pleasant seats for the Benedict and bride. It is his duty, also, to send the notice of the marriage to the newspapers. In England but one groomsman, or "best man," is allowed to a bridal party, though the bridesmaids may number a dozen, but in this country one groomsman is allowed for every bridesmaid. ”

“ Yes. You see Alick, thinking from the state of the weather, and the looks of things generally, that he should have no groomsman for the ceremony, put his marriage license and the minister’s fee both in one envelope, and requested me, when the proper time should come, to hand it over to Dr. Barbar. But, now I hear that Dick has arrived—having so far conquered himself as to come to the wedding. ”

“ Jimmy was to be groomsman at the wedding, and Lucy was to be bridesmaid! Somebody had been making a beautiful white frock for little Lucy, all embroidered with silk apple-blossoms. Some one else had been making a charming blue suit for Jimmy, all spangled with silver.
Why shouldn’t these two children go nearly wild with rapture? Why shouldn’t they think [146] the wedding was made on purpose for themselves, and that Aunt Vi had little to do with it, except to look on and admire their new clothes? ”

“ The groom and the best man usually breakfast together on the wedding-day and arrive in ample time at the church.
Upon the arrival of the bride in the vestibule, the clergyman enters the chancel, followed by the groom and the best man. The groom then steps forward, and stands at the left of the clergyman, facing the audience. It is a good plan for both the groom and best man to leave their hats in the vestry, but if the groom has not done so, he gives his hat and gloves to the best man on the approach of the bride, and advances to meet her. ”

“ It was the hunchbacked groom that lay with thee." "For God's sake," replied the Lady of Beauty, "do not mention him to me, may God curse his father! And mock me not, for the groom was only hired for ten dinars to conjure the evil eye from us, and he took his hire and departed. As for me, I entered the bridal chamber, where I found my true husband sitting in the alcove, him before whom the singers had unveiled me and who flung them the red gold by handsful, till he made all the poor there rich; and I passed the night in the arms of my sprightly husband, with the black eyes and joined eyebrows." ”

“ And, speaking of these grooms, it is astonishing at what a pace they can run, and how long they will keep it up. You may go out with your carriage or on horseback, and, no matter how rapidly you go, the groom will be always at your side, and ready to take the bridle of your horse the moment you halt. They are powerful fellows, but their reputation for honesty is not first-class. ”

“ But if the bride has found favour in the inspectress’s eyes, and she tells the groom that the girl is good and clever, and perfect in speech and all things, the groom sends his former friends again to the girl’s parents, telling them that he likes their daughter, and that he wishes to come to a parley to write the marriage contract, in order to marry her on a certain date. The bride’s parents send word to the groom through his trusted people that he should come to the parley with a few of his friends in whom he has most confidence on a certain day, in the forenoon or afternoon. ”

“ With the bride's and groom's luggage properly bestowed, the ring and fee in his pocket, the groom's traveling clothes at the bride's house, the groom in complete wedding attire, and himself also ready, the best man has nothing further to do but be gentleman-in-waiting to the groom until it is time to escort him to the church, where he becomes chief of staff. ”

“ In larger towns the young man may accompany the friends for the ceremony of engagement. Between the times of engagement and wedding the couple do not see nor write to each other—only the parents give visits on special days, as Christmas and Easter, or other occasions, and send presents to each other. The presents of the groom are expected to be more valuable and frequent. The bride is expected to furnish the groom and his nearest friends with embroideries, stockings and other articles, all made by her own hand. Also she has to prepare several suits for herself, all to be used after marriage. ”

“ Your friend, who has a wife that he loves, and that loves him, writes back kindly—“hoping you may be happy;” and hoping so yourself, you light your cigar—one of your last bachelor cigars—with the margin of his letter.
The match goes off with a brilliant marriage; at which you receive a very elegant welcome from your wife’s spinster cousins—and drink a great deal of champagne with her bachelor uncles. And as you take the dainty hand of your bride—very magnificent under that bridal wreath, and with her face lit up by a brilliant glow—your eye, and your soul, for the first time, grow full. ”

“ GROOM. He pays for the bridal bouquet carried by the bride at the wedding ceremony, and, if he wishes, for the bouquets carried by the bridesmaids.
MEN. If well acquainted with a debutante's family, a man may send her flowers at the time of her debut.
After a slightly intimate acquaintance, a man can present flowers to a young unmarried woman as a token of sympathy either of joy or sorrow.
It is not usual for a man to send flowers to a woman who is a mere acquaintance.
BALLS. It is permissible for a man, if he wishes, to send flowers to a woman he is to escort to a ball. ”

“ The recessional is played, and the procession goes out in reversed order. Bride and groom first, then bridesmaids, then ushers, again all taking pains to fall into step with the leaders.
On no account must the bridesmaids walk either up or down the aisle with the ushers! Once in a while the maid of honor takes the arm of the best man and together they follow the bride and groom out of the church. But it gives the impression of a double wedding and spoils the picture. ”

“ A large wedding procession attracted my attention from the great quantity of presents therein. I counted fifty coolies with loaded hand-barrows, filled with fruit, flowers, confectioneries, cakes, nuts, robes, &c., in rich profusion, preceding the bride, who was conducted to the house of the groom veiled, in a sedan chair, as the tiny feet of the ladies are seldom seen in the streets. They are affianced early by their parents without ever having seen their lovers; and when their intended husbands gaze upon them, if acceptable, they are supported by women across a pan of coals into the house. ”

“ So each young man, as he cast a last complacent glance in his mirror, recalled all sorts of romantic episodes in which wealthy damsels had fallen in love at first sight with some stranger, whom they had finally married against the wishes of their relatives,—for all these worthy bachelors had but one thought in this instance, marriage, and they even carried their honesty so far as to love marriage for the sake of marriage itself, and the bride became little more than an accessory in their eyes. ”

“ Make your self merry amongst the rest of the Wedding guests, so far as is becoming you: who knows, but that some brave Gentlemans man, Coachman, or neighbors servant, may fall in love with you; for many times out of one Wedding comes another, and then you might come to be a woman of good fashion. Udsbud Mally! then you would know, as well as your Mistress, what delights are to be had in the first Wedding night. Then you would also know how to discourse of the first Pleasure of marriage, and with the Bride expect the second.
THE SECOND PLEASURE.
The Woman goes to buy houshold-stuf. ”

“ To make of it an occasion for ostentatious change in her way of living seemed to her as unnatural as is the practice of the barbarians in our midst who use a wedding—that most sacred and private event in a young girl’s life—as an opportunity for display of the coarsest and crudest character. To rivet the attention of friends on bride and bridegroom is to offend against the most delicate susceptibilities of modesty. ”

“ Would you were bride, and ah, would I were groom!
On all the seashore none fairer than you;
What but adore you could any one do?
Cheeks like the pink of an evening sky,
Eyes that might bid a man laughingly die. ”

“ But, on behalf of the bride, the women answered in the same way as at first. For twenty couplets, at least, the men enumerated all the wedding-presents, always mentioning something new in the last line: a handsome apron, pretty ribbons, a cloth dress, laces, a golden cross, and even a hundred pins to complete the modest list of wedding-presents. The refusal of the women could not be shaken, but at length the men decided to speak of
"A good husband, too, love." ”

“ Two grooms are no longer his Grace's and my Lord's attendants, but each is followed by one groom in plain clothes, not very dissimilar from the man he serves. Do we ever see the star of nobility in the morning, to guard him who has a right to it from popular rudeness and a confusion of rank? ”

“ As she passed into the vestry to sign the marriage register, leaning proudly upon the arm of her newly made husband, and followed by her few attending personal friends, a man who had witnessed the ceremony from behind a clustered pillar in the church, stole out into the square, his face lighted by a lurid smile, his eyes emitting the same peculiar, exultant gleam as the bride’s had done. ”

“ There was scarcely time to think of the pain of the coming partings from brother, uncles, and other relatives; pain it would be, yet not to be compared with that of many a young bride who must leave father, mother, home, and more than one loved brother and sister.
The wedding was a pronounced success; brides and bridesmaids looking their best—groom and groomsmen also—and each going through his or her part of the ceremony in an altogether creditable manner. ”

“ At length one was found, good and industrious, as well as pretty; and as the young man raised no objections the wedding took place at once, and the bride and bridegroom went to live in the cottage with the old woman. But no change was to be seen in the husband’s conduct. All day long he was out amusing himself in the company of his former friends, and if his wife dared to say anything to him on his return home he beat her with his stick. And next year, when a baby was born to them, he beat it also. ”

“ BILL, THE GROOM.
The lights burn in the stable, and I stand in the yard,
Yet thro’ the open window I hear him breathing hard;
They watch the bed in silence where Bill the groom lies still,
For Bill the groom is surely fast going down the hill.
’Twas only yestereven, he made a solemn vow
To catch and ride the chestnut; she stands outside there now,
While he lies crushed and helpless upon a bed of pain;
He will not see the sunset behind “The Ridge” again. ”

“ But the groomsmen have the cream of the business, for it’s one of the perquisites of their office that they should kiss their partners, as a sort of recompense for shawling them, and chaperoning them, and paying them those thousand little attentions which are so exquisite to a lady, and which a gentleman can only pay, especially if the lady is grateful, at some peril to his peace of mind. ”

“ GROOM. The groom selects his best man, usually an unmarried intimate friend, though a married man or widower is permissible. After consultation with the bride he calls upon the clergyman, the organist, the sexton, and invites the ushers. ”

“ Of these, one is a little fellow of six or eight years old, brother to the bride,--and the other a girl of the same age, or something younger, whom he calls 'his wife.' The real bride and bridegroom are not more devoted than they: he all love and attention, and she all blushes and fondness, toying with a little bouquet which he gave her this morning, and placing the scattered rose-leaves in her bosom with nature's own coquettishness. ”

“ And here it becomes directly in point to observe, that a groom is become so evidently necessary to the ton of the present day (particularly in the neighbourhood of Bond Street) that a great number of Gentlemen keep a groom, who cannot (except upon credit) keep a horse; but then, they are always upon ‘the look out for horses;’ and, till they are obtained, the employment of the groom is the embellishment of both ends of his master, by first dressing his head, and then polishing his boots and shoes. ”

“ Always, therefore, the idea has been cherished that the bride is something carefully guarded, and the groom is looked upon as a sort of friendly enemy, who comes to take away the much-prized object from her loving and jealous family. Thus the long-cherished theory bears fruit in the English ceremonial, where the only carriage furnished by the groom is the one in which he drives the bride away to the spending of the honeymoon. ”

“ The wedding being over, and the bridegroom having enjoyed his charming bride, grew exceedingly fond of her, even to dottage, which sickened and palled her love toward him, and he perceiving it, strove to wind himself the more into her affections ”