Marriage feast

“ After the solemnity of the marriage is ended, there follows a wedding feast, that is made in her Parents hut, and as for the provision, each of the persons invited contributes his share of the victuals, tho [118] they bring it not thither just then, but the day before: when the Bridegroom distributes his presents to the Brides parents and kindred, then every one brings his victuals that will be serviceable to the feast. ”

“ When you are invited to a marriage feast, do not take one of the best places. It may be that some person of higher rank than you has been invited; and then the one who gives the feast comes to you and says, 'Here, make room for this man!' Then you must get up ashamed and take a place down at the foot of the table. No, when you come to the feast, go to the lowest place, then when the giver of the feast sees you, he will say, 'My friend, come up higher,' and you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow-guests. ”

“ The women are for the most part elderly persons, and composed of sisters, aunts, and the like. This exception is made on an occasion like this. The bride and bridegroom are requested to keep a jathee, scissors, with them until the marriage ceremony is over. The relatives and other friends send valuable gifts, and entertain them in their houses. This mode of entertainment is called “the bachelor and maiden feasts.” The evening previous to the wedding is celebrated the feast of “joy cakes.” These cakes are made of cocoa-nuts, sugar, and rice-powder, and are cooked with much ceremony. ”

“ The marriage ceremony among the Ūru Bēdars is generally performed at the bride's house, whither the bridegroom and his party proceed on the eve of the wedding. A feast, called thuppathūta or ghī (clarified butter) feast, is held, towards which the bridegroom's parents contribute rice, cocoanuts, betel leaves and nuts, and make a present of five bodices (rāvike) . At the conclusion of the feast, all assemble beneath the marriage pandal (booth) , and betel is distributed in a recognised order of precedence, commencing with the guru and the god. ”

“ The marriage feast almost invariably takes place during the harvest, for the simple reason that food is more abundant and also because the harvest days are the gladdest of all the year. When the time for the marriage is close at hand the father-in-law makes an announcement to friends and neighbors, sending out messengers and leaving at each house a rattan strip4 to indicate the number of days to elapse before the marriage. ”

“ The festivities that are observed on the occasion of a marriage are on a very limited scale. There is a simple procession of the bride, who is conducted to the home of her future lord by the chieftain, accompanied by musicians, minstrels, and jesters. [7] A feast ensues, at which all partake in common, although, as a general rule, the women are accustomed to eat alone in their own huts. The domestic duties of a housewife consist mainly in cultivating the homestead, preparing the daily meals, painting her husband’s body, and dressing his hair. ”

“ The ceremony of marriage is performed, by sacrificing a hog, which a priestess slays with a thousand grimaces; after which, she bestows many benedictions on the parties, and an old woman presenting them with some food, the ceremony is closed by many obscenities. Dancing, according to their fashion, succeeds, and drinking the rest of [39] the day ends the feast, which is always proportionate to the circumstances of the newly married pair. ”

“ As this night is essentially of importance to the married couple only, there are some writers on ceremonies who have laid down that no feast need be prepared for the bride's ladies, and in my opinion they are right: for the husband and wife at the beginning of their intercourse to be separated, and for the bride alone to be feasted like an ordinary guest, appears to be an inauspicious opening. ”

“ The bridegroom leaves the bridal chamber soon after, and sends a congratulatory invitation to the bride’s family, asking her relations to come to a congratulatory feast. They must be invited six times before they accept. The feast generally takes place before daybreak, at three o’clock in the morning. The guests are met, on arrival at the main entrance, by the bridegroom, who kneels with his back to the house. ”

“ The men sit in a circle round the bridegroom, and the women round the bride. A blessing is then pronounced on the young couple, which principally consists in the hope that their sons will be expert huntsmen, and prove a comfort to their old age. A feast is then prepared, and when they have all eaten voraciously, a pipe is lighted, of which each one smokes a few whiffs, and then passes it to his neighbor. Feasting is sometimes kept up for several days; but they have no music or dancing. Men and women always eat separately. ”

“ In another locality the groom's-man is bound during the whole long night to throw nuts at the husband, who cracks them, and gives the kernel to his bride to eat. The festivity which a marriage occasions generally lasts three days, and, on Friday, the youthful wife embraces the companions of her childhood and bids them farewell, as if she never meant to return. ”

“ At the feast which follows, men and women sit separate. The bride eats nothing the first day in her new home. All who have given presents are invited and regard it as a right.
In the evening the intimate friends of the bridegroom enter the private apartments, examine the bride's hands and feet, make rude remarks about her clothing, ability, general appearance, etc. ”

“ In weddings among those of great wealth and position the masque, which is elsewhere described, formed one of the principal entertainments. But high and low, rich and poor alike made much of the wedding feast. All sorts of dishes were cooked in great variety, especially many kinds of highly spiced cakes and drinks.
As the festivities drew to a close on the evening of the wedding day the women present took off the bride and put her to bed. Later, the same was done by the men for the groom. The ceremony of blessing the bridal bed, which followed, is thus described by the antiquary, Mr. ”

“ Everywhere is excitement and bustle, which gradually increases as the time for the return of the wedding-party approaches. Preparations for the feast are actively advancing in the kitchen; coffee is liberally handed round, and amid a profound sensation, and the firing of guns, the horse-wagon draws up, and the wedding-party alight. ”

“ Another wore a dress of gray and a Dutch cap of silver lace, and had her little girl in quaint cap and long dress, to match her own, as maid of honor.
A widow has never more than one attendant and most often none. There may be a sit-down breakfast afterwards, or the simplest afternoon tea; in any case, the breakfast is, if possible, at the bride's own house, and the bridal pair may either stay where they are and have their guests take leave of them, or themselves drive away afterwards.
Very intimate friends send presents for a second marriage but general acquaintances are never expected to. ”

“ For a wedding feast there is a reasonable cause, just as there is for a funeral luncheon, or a christening dinner. There has been in each instance a trying ordeal to be gone through in a public church. It is quite right that there should be eating and drinking, and a certain amount of jollification afterwards amongst the unoffending guests who have been dragged in as spectators on the occasion. ”

“ And when the people realized what had happened, everybody roared. No one who glanced at the overturned music instrument and at the musicians, with their punch-dropping heads could restrain their laughter. Even the pompous bride found it so funny that she laughed with the rest.
When the excitement was over and the dessert was ready the wedding guests once more took their seats at the table. The inn-keeper, thinking that this was the moment to settle the matter of dowry, before the actual marriage act could be performed by the priest, knocked on the table for quiet. ”

“ Just as the ceremony of the wedding favors is a symbol that the heart and home of the bride are won, that of the cabbage is a symbol of the fruitfulness of marriage. When breakfast is over on the day after the wedding, this fantastic representation begins. Originally of Gallic derivation, it has passed through primitive Christianity, and little by little it has become a kind of mystery, or droll morality-play of the Middle Ages. ”

“ At the final feast the bride and groom eat together from the same leaf to show their complete union. This is the first and last time that the wife will eat in company with her husband, if he is an orthodox Hindu and not imbued with the new Western ideas. Always, in the future, she will serve him his meal, and after he has finished she will eat with the other women of the household and the smaller children, using the same leaf which has done service for her lord and master. ”

“ At the end of the service the bride returns to her father's house, where she remains quietly till it is time to get ready for dinner. As the clock strikes four, the entire wedding party, with the parents of bride and bridegroom and a host of friends and relations, start in gondolas for the inn at which the repast is to take place. The whole population of the calle or campo is there to see their departure, and to admire or criticise, as the case may be. After dinner, when everyone has tasted the good wine and enjoyed the good fare, the feast breaks up with cries of Viva la novizza! ”

“ Now when his brother-in-law learned that Lumawig desired a feast at his wedding, he was very angry and said:
“Where would you get food for your wedding feast? There is no rice, nor beef, nor pork, nor chicken.” ”

“ The bread and meal, which were placed on the pots, are eaten by the relatives of the husband publicly in the pandal. After this ceremony is over, the pair are again anointed, during which process there must be music and singing. The next day, the whole of the party set off for the bride's house, where the marala pendli, or second marriage, is performed. Before setting out, the husband and wife bow down at the feet of the elders, and receive their blessing. The husband must provide an abundance of toddy for all. ”

“ Go, all manner of convocations, and do likewise.
Note, if you please, that it is not feasting which is objectionable. Truly or falsely, eating has always been held to be the promoter and attendant of conviviality, the mouth opening the way at the same time to the palate and the brain. If men can provide feasts without laying burdens upon their wives, let them do it and welcome; but if the material part of the feast cannot be accomplished without so serious an increase of a wife’s labor as to destroy or diminish her capacity for enjoying the mental part, it ought not to be attempted. ”

“ The morning after a wedding, a man, who represents the father of the bride, delivers the husband a whip, which is very freely used whenever his wife offends him. They have sacred groves, where the ceremonials of pagan worship are performed. Women are not allowed to approach these places, and men must bathe before they enter. The mead, cakes, and beer, offered to their gods must be prepared by virgins. At the return of vegetation in the spring, a great sacrifice is offered to their deities, accompanied by a feast ”

“ In the West, if the wedding does not take place in church, it will probably be held in the home of {76} the bride; in the East it is always held in the home of the groom. There the bride's household prepares the feast ”

“ The bridegroom is attired in a silk court dress, with two broad ribbons, forming a sash, worn crosswise over the shoulders and breast. The observance of a form of ancestral worship in the family hall, in which the young people take part, is an important feature of the marriage rites. On the night of her arrival in her new home the bride sits down with the bridegroom to dinner, and they celebrate this, their first meal together, by partaking of the loving cup, a vessel usually of silver, but sometimes of pewter. ”

“ The house being completed, all the friends of both families [956] are gathered together, and a great feast takes place, at which the givers make it a point of honor to be as lavish as possible. At the end of this feast, the girl is formally handed over to her husband, and exchanges her narrow liku for the broader garment befitting her new condition.
When the daughter of an important chief is married, her father always gives her a number of female attendants, sometimes as many as twelve or fifteen accompanying the bride to her home. ”

“ Custom requires that the bride should give up dancing and gaiety and all that, leave off wearing red, and stitch away at her trousseau, while her parents kill the fatted calf. Starve themselves as they will at other times, at a wedding they must be liberal like parvenus. Towards this hospitality, it is true, their friends and neighbours contribute, sending butter and milk, and the like, just before the wedding, as well as making presents of money and other articles to the young people at the feast itself. ”

“ Marry, remission of sins, and everlasting life; such joy, that no tongue can express, nor heart can think, which God hath prepared for all them that come to this dinner, and feed upon his Son, and taste of his sauces. And this is the end of this banquet. This banquet, or marriage-dinner, was made at the very beginning of the world. God made this marriage in paradise, and called the whole world unto it, saying, Semen mulieris conteret caput serpentis; “The Seed of the woman shall vanquish the head of the serpent.” ”