Sexual satisfaction

“ I have myself known cases in which women were able to experience the voluptuous acme in intercourse with men whom they earnestly loved, whilst in intercourse with men to whom they were indifferent, the voluptuous sensation and the sense of satisfaction were wanting, even though in some of these cases the peripheral processes culminated in ejaculation. Such a physically complete sexual act, without voluptuous acme or sense of satisfaction, may occur when the woman, having intercourse with a man whom she does not love, pictures in imagination that she is having intercourse with her lover. ”

“ If the conditions are favorable to the performance of the sexual act by means of which satisfaction is attained, the continually increasing impulse finds expression in action; in other circumstances, inhibitory perceptions intervene, sexual excitement diminishes, the activity of the centre for erection is inhibited, and the sexual act itself is prevented. In the case of civilized humanity the ready action of such perceptions for the inhibition of the sexual impulse is necessary and decisive. ”

“ You will recall in the description of sexual intercourse leading to orgasm how thoroughly the body becomes mobilized: heartbeat, pulse, and blood pressure rise precipitately, tissues become engorged with blood, glands secrete freely, muscular tension mounts to a pitch which would be unendurable if the sexual instinct were not demanding expression. Complete satisfaction brings an end to all these processes, and the energy discharged through normal channels and in a normal manner leaves the person in a condition of relaxation and with a sense of well-being. ”

“ We do not long only for the rude sexual act. We spiritualise it—at least some of us do so; at any rate we individualize it. It is one particular man whom we desire, he alone can still our longing, our bodily and mental hunger for love. He satisfies us with all his love-affinities.” Naturally, also, the consequence is deduced, “a free course must be given to sexual sensation in women, and to the satisfaction of sexual desire, within physiological limits, within the bounds of physiological necessity.” ”

“ Even when the sexual impulse is perfectly normal, the entire voluptuous curve with its acme may be wanting. In such cases, the after-sense of complete satisfaction, which occurs more especially when ejaculation has been associated with an extremity of voluptuous pleasure, it is commonly also lacking. ”

“ But if we ascribe the tension of the sexual excitation to the feelings of displeasure we encounter the fact that it is undoubtedly pleasurably perceived. The tension produced by sexual excitation is everywhere accompanied by pleasure; even in the preparatory changes of the genitals there is a distinct feeling of satisfaction. ”

“ In some cases, fortunately sufficiently rare, the stimulation of the sexual impulse and the longing for its satisfaction are so intense, that a kind of demi-vierge is brought into being, a young woman who is concerned only to preserve the physical token of virginity, but whose thoughts and fancies are anything but maidenly. ”

“ On the other hand, an ever-larger proportion of girls belonging to the “middle and upper classes,” abstaining alike from the good and the evil results of marriage, falls under the yoke of sexual impulses denied satisfaction or gratified by abnormal means, and suffers in consequence both physically and mentally. ”

“ In itself, no doubt, the natural and moderate satisfaction of the sexual instincts is a matter quite indifferent to morality. It is only in relation to something else that the satisfaction of a natural instinct can be said to be good or bad. ”

“ The wife who wishes to preserve her psychical purity and moral chastity, which is not only possible in marriage but also greatly to be desired, must not concern herself much with the technique of the sexual life, but must give herself up to sexual enjoyment only as the result of a delicate and immediate bodily and mental desire. ”

“ Nor do I see any reason why, during the first period in which they are able to enjoy without intermission the pleasures of sexual intercourse, they should, in accordance with any theory whatever, impose on themselves further restraints than those demanded by care for their physical and mental health. ”

“ Whatever the real benefits, and there is no occasion for questioning them, of the sexual order thus established, it becomes clear that in certain important respects it had an unnatural and repressive influence on the erotic aspect of woman’s sexual life. ”

“ Finally, no stimulation of an erotic character should be offered to the imagination, and for this reason equivocal literature and lascivious dramatic representations must be avoided. By a sufficiency of occupation, regular, interesting, and demanding a considerable expenditure of physical energy, a woman may be enabled to a great extent to escape the inconvenience and distress attendant on entire or partial lack of gratification of the sexual impulse. ”

“ More particularly in such circumstances are evil effects on the nervous system likely to ensue, since we have a combination of excessively prolonged and frequent sexual intercourse, and of interference with complete sexual gratification. ”

“ THE PLAY-FUNCTION OF SEX
When we hear the sexual functions spoken of we commonly understand the performance of an act which normally tends to the propagation of the race. When we see the question of sexual abstinence discussed, when the desirability of sexual gratification is asserted or denied, when the idea arises of the erotic rights and needs of woman, it is always the same act with its physical results that is chiefly in mind. Such a conception is quite adequate for practical working purposes in the social world. ”

“ Such unnatural stimulation of the female is not infrequently practiced by the male—by the lover and even by the husband—it may be because he himself derives pleasure from such perverted practices, and wishes to obtain sexual gratification without the risk of impregnation, or because he is himself incompetent for normal complete intercourse. ”

“ As a negative aspect of the sexual impulse in woman we must regard the absence of the impulse, or anæsthesia sexualis, and also the deficiency of the sensation of pleasure during the act of copulation, or dyspareunia. ”

“ Gradually she finds herself allowing her new tenderness and concern for her husband to become a part of the meaning of her sexual embrace. She sees and feels the pleasure her sexual thawing brings him, and this process becomes circular, his increased pleasure giving her more pleasure. And with his pleasure in mind she now seeks out more and more those things that please him, and her exploration leads inevitably to the discovery that what pleases him most, outside of his own sensations, is her pleasure. ”

“ Let us apply these principles to adultery. The state can no more prohibit it or punish it by law than any other illegitimate satisfaction of the sexual impulse. ”

“ It is of great practical interest, alike from the gynecological and from the neuropathological standpoint, to determine the consequences in women of ungratifying sexual intercourse. In the present state of our experience it must be assumed that the effect of abnormal sexual intercourse, that is of intercourse which does not culminate in gratification produced by the sensation of ejaculation, is deleterious. ”

“ There are a great many women in whom voluptuous sensations during intercourse are entirely lacking, and in whom even sexual desire may be in abeyance. Sometimes this is a matter of no great importance. But wives whose women-friends have boasted to such an extent of the intensity of the voluptuous sensations experienced in sexual intercourse, are apt to overestimate the importance of the lack of such voluptuous pleasure in their own experience of the sexual act; and it is therefore desirable that women should know the true facts of the case. ”

“ The above-mentioned abnormal proclivity is the fundamental factor in my sexual feeling. When I am dressed like a woman, I feel perfectly satisfied. A peculiar feeling of peace and comfort comes over me, which allows me to work mentally with greater ease. My libido for indulgence in sexual intercourse is extremely slight. ”

“ A quarrelsome temper, coldness and repulsion on the part of a woman cool the desires of the man, while an ardent sexual desire on the part of the woman, her love and tenderness, tend to increase and maintain them. We are dealing here with purely animal sexual instinct, and we may state that the sexual appetite of woman generally excites strongly that of man, and considerably increases his pleasure during coitus. ”

“ Those living in large cities, who are constantly reminded of sexual things and incited to sexual enjoyment, certainly have more sexual desire than those living in the country. A dissipated, luxurious, sedentary manner of life, preponderance of animal food, and the consumption of spirits, spices, etc., have a stimulating influence on the sexual life. ”

“ The art of love certainly includes such primary facts of sexual hygiene, but it involves also the whole erotic discipline of marriage, and that is why its significance is so great, for the welfare and happiness of the individual, for the stability of sexual unions, and indirectly for the race, since the art of love is ultimately the art of attaining the right conditions for procreation. ”

“ These comparatively simple curves represent what I would postulate as the normal spontaneous up-welling of natural desire in woman. These are the foundations on which the edifice of the physical expression of love may be built. It must not be forgotten, however, that, particularly in modern luxurious life, there are innumerable excitements which may stimulate sexual feeling, just as there are many factors in our life which tend to inhibit or retard it. ”

“ It is probable that in the higher classes of society, inherited predisposition, education, and perhaps also higher intelligence, combine to diminish the intensity of the sexual impulse. In contrast with these women of frigid temperament, however, we meet with women, certainly in very limited numbers, whose sexual passions are extremely powerful, and whose needs no man can satisfy. ”

“ It may seem a venturesome advice to render, yet I can but urge the natural use of the sexual organs when there is a strong erotic excitement, following a long period of continence, when this desire is not a morbid one; which is likely to be the case only in the depraved, after long abuses. ”

“ In a boy of fifteen the libido sexualis may be fully developed, he may have powerful erections and a strong desire for normal sexual relations; in a girl [320] of fifteen there may not be a trace of any purely sexual desire; and this lack of desire for physical sex relations may manifest itself in women up to the age of twenty or twenty-five (something that we never see in normal men) ”

“ One of the chief things to which a woman responds is a cumulative tenderness expressed in words or in acts.
Whatever the stimulus, however, the brain receives the signal and, through the nervous system, sends out preparatory reactions throughout the body. The response of men to stimuli perceived by the brain as sexual is amazingly fast; some men arrive at full sexual preparedness for intercourse within three seconds—that is, their penis becomes fully erect and ready to enter the vagina within that time. ”

“ From what has preceded, it must be evident that from the early months of the period of puberty, through the adolescent and adult period, even until some progress is made in the senile period, every normal male will experience sexual desires. It has been shown that these particular experiences are linked, more or less intimately, with the condition of the sexual apparatus; but whatever the cause, we are confronted with the question, What shall be done about it?
When a man experiences a sexual desire does it necessarily follow that the desire must be satisfied? ”

“ Not in this respect alone, however, is the sexual life of woman of paramount importance; it is, in addition, the mainspring of the well-being and progress of the family, of the nation, of the entire human race. ”

“ This voluptuous sensation localised in the genital organs must, of course, be distinguished from the general sense of pleasure produced in a man by the idea of, or by contact with, a woman in whom he is sexually interested. ”

“ In women, who have become accustomed to sexual intercourse, erotic dreams of fully developed character occur, with complete orgasm and accompanying relief—as may occasionally be the case in women who are not acquainted with actual intercourse; [241] some women, however, even when familiar with actual coitus, find that sexual dreams, though accompanied by emissions, are only the symptoms of desire and do not produce actual relief. ”

“ There have been detailed studies made of the physical reactions of both men and women during intercourse. I think it is important to realize that in almost every detail, including orgasm, these reactions and the subjective experience of pleasure parallel each other in the sexes. The major differences are that the woman is slightly slower to respond at the outset than the man, and the orgasm of the man is characterized by the ejaculation of sperm into the vagina. ”

“ Numerous distinguished gynæcologists have recorded their belief that sexual excitement is a remedy for various disorders of the sexual system in women, and that abstinence is a cause of such disorders. Matthews Duncan said that sexual excitement is the only remedy for amenorrhœa ”

“ So far as the evidence goes, it may be said to indicate that the results of the abeyance of the sexual functions in healthy women in whom the sexual emotions have never been definitely aroused tend to be diffused and unconscious, as the sexual impulse itself often is, but that, in women in whom the sexual emotions have been definitely aroused and gratified, the results of sexual abstinence tend to be acute and conscious. ”