Self-restraint

“ Man without self-restraint is like a barrel without hoops, and tumbles to pieces. Ward Beecher.
Man yields to custom as he bows to fate, / 25 In all things ruled—mind, body, and estate; / In pain, in sickness, we for cure apply / To them we know not, and we know not why. ”

“ If we instanced the self-restraint in which so many pass their lives from day to day, it might perhaps be answered that there is a persistent idea of duty, or love of reputation, or fear of social stigma, the repression of which would be more painful than the restraint it puts upon other impulses. ”

“ The young men have seen their father put no restraint upon his passions. Why should they put restraint on theirs? How can he command them when he has not commanded himself? And yet self-restraint is what they, above all men, need. Upstart princes—the sons of a shepherd boy—intoxicated with honours to which they were not born; they need the severest discipline; they break out into the most frantic licence. What is there that they may not do, and dare not do? ”

“ LULU. That's why, too, I give myself to you alone quite without reserve. From you I have nothing to fear.
ALVA. I assure you there are moments when one expects to see one's whole inner self cave in. The more self-restraint a man loads onto himself, the easier he breaks down. ”

“ And I do not now speak of it as "self-restraint," which is a virtue considered capable of resisting pleasure: while the fact is that I never in all my life felt such pleasure as I do at my own integrity. ”

“ Such power there is in clear-eyed self-restraint
And purpose clean as light from every selfish taint. ”

“ Religious rites, penances, truth,—all these are established upon self-restraint. Self-restraint enhances one's energy. Self-restraint is said to be sacred. The man of self-restraint becomes sinless and fearless and wins great results. One that is self-restrained sleeps happily and wakes happily. He sojourns happily in the world and his mind always remains cheerful. Every kind of excitement is quietly controlled by self-restraint. One that is not self-restrained fails in a similar endeavour. The man of self-restraint beholds his innumerable foes (in the form of lust, desire, and wrath, etc.) ”

“ But, analysing the matter down to its very depths, I think we arrive at this, that without the motives for self-restraint that other people have we are anxious to show more self-restraint than they. We are doing certain work not for payment but for sheer love of work. ”

“ Long habits of self-restraint, too, will enable them to look out with comparative patience for a suitable establishment, before they burden themselves with a family. In short, if the only check of the mild kind to an excessive increase of population is self-restraint, from motives of prudence and morality, where may we look for it with better hopes than among the pupils of Mr. de Fellenberg? ”

“ And there is no endurance without manliness, nor the exercise of self-restraint without temperance. And these virtues follow one another; and with whom are the sequences of the virtues, with him is also salvation, which is the keeping of the state of well-being. Rightly, therefore, in treating of these virtues, we shall inquire into them all; for he that has one virtue gnostically, by reason of their accompanying each other, has them all. Self-restraint is that quality which does not overstep what appears in accordance with right reason. ”

“ But, while this feat may be said to have established a record never subsequently lowered, there is no doubt that almost every day in modern times men and women are performing similar and scarcely less impressive miracles of self-restraint. ”

“ For to have such desires, as require self-restraint in order to their control, is characteristic of one who is not yet pure, but subject to passion. Now, fortitude is assumed by reason of fear and cowardice. ”

“ The contemptuous brutality with which he shot these rough words at her and then turned away proved a far more effective mode of treatment than the courteous composure he had shown at the beginning of the interview; for self-restraint is a quality little understood or practised by women of her class and their companions. ”

“ I have been too much accustomed to self-indulgence, to bear restraint, and should it ever be imposed by a master's hand, my rebellious spirit would break the bonds of duty, and assert its independence. ”

“ Hence the policy of cultivating a boy’s faculty of self-restraint by continually increasing the degree in which he is left to his self-restraint, and so bringing him, step by step, to a state of unaided self-restraint, obliterates the ordinary sudden and hazardous change from externally governed youth to internally governed maturity. ”

“ Let any one set himself to the cultivation of this virtue of meekness and self-restraint, and he will find that it cannot be secured by one or a few efforts, however resolute; by a few struggles, however severe. ”

“ My dear reader, if it does not insult your understanding by the self-evidence of the query, will you allow me to ask you a question—which of the two is more culpable, the man who, finding himself in a path of dereliction, arrests himself in his downward career, and, by a wonderful effort of self-restraint, stops dead short, and will suffer no inducement, no seduction, to lead him one step further ”

“ This conscious relinquishment of immediate and special good to gain distant and general good, while it is a cardinal trait of the self-restraint called moral, is also a cardinal trait of self-restraints other than those called moral—the restraints that originate from fear of the visible ruler, of the invisible ruler, and of society at large. ”

“ But it is not so; for there is a self-restraint under provocation which is far from being cowardice, or want of feeling, or shrinking from consequences; there is a victory over passionate impulses which is more difficult and more meritorious than a victory on the bloody battle-field. ”

“ Add to this, that the collapse of the old order releases the individual from a wholesome pressure which has kept him within certain social bounds and prevented his thinking himself of too much importance. Now self-idolatry is possible, wherever the power of self-restraint is not as strong as the control formerly exercised by society. ”

“ It is singular, that many have on this plan been speedily cured by the self-restraint this system conspired with other things to give them; and many others have recovered without ever feeling or considering themselves as having been treated as insane patients; and most of them do not consider themselves as under any confinement whatever. Not more than about 3 p. cent. suffer any personal restraint, and not one for years under any constant personal coercion, and we have, at times, been for months together with not more than one patient whom we were afraid of trusting in the grounds alone. ”

“ Lastly, I want to call attention to the self-restraint which was shown by our followers on the night of the 13th, after we had been arrested. Our rule has always been to be patient, exercise self-restraint, show our so-called superiors that we are not hysterical; to use no violence, but rather to offer ourselves to the violence of others. ”

“ Industrial pursuits have, indeed, a favourable influence in promoting habits of self-restraint, and especially in checking the licence [pg 146] of military life; but on the other hand, they greatly increase temptation by encouraging postponement of marriage, and in communities, even more than in individuals, moral inequalities are much more due to differences of temptation than to differences of self-restraint. ”

“ This necessity for self-restraint is particularly urgent in connection with three duties: the duty of speaking the truth, the duty of checking one’s own inclination to pleasure, especially in the relations between the sexes, and the duty of not using one’s own strength improperly at the expense of the weak. ”

“ But his revolt will always be in the name of judgment, not in the name of instinct.
All this philosophy of self-restraint can, it is true, be preached to healthy human beings only. It has no application to degenerates. Their defective brain and nervous system are not in a state to respond to its demands. ”

“ If you see an attractive person, you will find that self-restraint is the ability you have against your desire. If you are in pain, you will find fortitude. If you hear unpleasant language, you will find patience. And thus habituated, the appearances of things will not hurry you away along with them. ”

“ It is sometimes expedient to use restraint even in good desires, lest through unseasonable effort thou art distracted of mind; lest by thy want of self-government thou beget a scandal unto others; or again, being thwarted by others and resisted, thou become suddenly confounded, and so fall. ”

“ The libidinous desires are greatly increased, and the influence of self restraint cannot be brought sufficiently into action to prevent the constant, daily, and I might say almost hourly recurrence of the practice. ”

“ We can afford to exercise the self-restraint of a really great nation which realizes its own strength and scorns to misuse it. ”

“ For the inhibitory centers of the mental apparatus, upon which depend our powers of self-restraint, do not exercise their veto beyond the frontier line which separates the rational from the organic side of human nature. ”

“ And to pry one's self loose, to break or tear one's self away from such a mental view and condition as heredity and such years of rigorous restraint have developed, is no small task. Indeed, it often takes months, and sometimes years, wholly to rid one's self of these deep seated and powerful, wrong views and prejudices. ”

“ It exists for the sole purpose of making possible the perfect development of individual ‘over-men,’ and of satisfying their most extravagant needs. [387] But the ‘splendid beast of prey’ is pernicious to itself; it rages against itself, it even annihilates itself, and yet that cannot possibly be a useful result of highly-trained qualities. The biological truth is, that constant self-restraint is a necessity of existence as much for the strongest as for the weakest. ”

“ Those indications are forgiveness, firmness of mind, abstention from injury, an equal regard for all things, truthfulness of speech, simplicity, control over the senses, patience, gentleness of speech, modesty, steadiness, liberality, mildness, contentment, and faith, he that hath self-restraint casteth off lust, avarice, pride, wrath, sleep, boastfulness, self-esteem, malice, and sorrow. Purity and absence of crookedness and fraud, are the distinctive marks of a man of self-restraint. ”

“ My own convictions are, that associations, excellent as they are for mechanical objects, are not fit instruments for the achievement of moral aims; that there has been no proof that the principle of self-restraint has been exalted and strengthened in the United States by the Temperance movement while the already too great regard to opinion, and subservience to spiritual encroachment, have been much increased ”

“ All physical effort relieves the strain and makes it easier to persist unto death under the stimulus and excitement of the shock of battle, or of violent exertion of any kind, than when the effort has to be made with grounded arms. In [20] other words, may we not say that in the face of danger self-restraint is after all the highest form of self-assertion, and a characteristic of manliness as distinguished from courage. ”

“ It is on this philosophical system of kindness, that every thing should be so contrived that the principle of internal self-control should be excited, and kept in exercise; and thus, being brought to depend somewhat on themselves, the depressing effects of the absolute restraint of fear, induced by harsh measures, and the tyranny into which a mere place of confinement with walls, and bolts and bars, must almost necessarily degenerate, is avoided. ”

“ All the petty arts, all the violence, all the recklessness, to which the needy are tempted, began to show themselves first among those whose habits of self-control were weakest; and afforded a specimen of what might be looked for when the parents should be driven by want beyond the restraint of principles and habits which had been powerful in the absence of overwhelming temptation. ”

“ Self-indulgence and Self-virtue; and Nature has two weapons against it: pain and pleasure. . . . A restraint must always be put away when another’s need can be served by putting it away; for so is restored to us the force by which Life is made. ”

“ If we perform our Karma for the sake of Yajna only, we perform it unselfishly.
4. As discrimination is useful in realising the real self, so restraint is necessary to put down the acquired self. The tendencies of the acquired self, if left to themselves, prompt men to ever recurring actions, which again produce their own effects, some of which develop into fresh tendencies or strengthen the pre-existing tendencies. So restraint is to be constantly practised. The object of restraint is to free the mind from thoughts of the object world and to fix it on the real self, Âtmâ. ”

“ But if we pass over these for the present, it will appear that the self-control practiced by quiet persons had oftentimes better give place to self-abandon, and that many a man is respected for his restraint when he should be pitied for his diffidence. ”

“ Should he give himself over? Should he make over his own life and body to the control of something which he knew was inferior, in spirit, to his own self? Should he commit himself into the power of an inferior control? ”