Wedding party

“ In striking contrast is the melancholy rejoicing of the party of young women at the home of the bride. But where there is dancing and singing there can not well be weeping, although no doubt it is more natural for the bride to be thoughtful on her wedding-day, than for the bridegroom, for it is the former who leaves her home to spend the rest of her days in a very new, very strange, perhaps even unkindly world. ”

“ The wedding party should arrive promptly at the church a few minutes before the time mentioned for the ceremony. Few moments are more tensely anxious than those in which a belated member of the wedding party is awaited by the others. For this reason, it is always better to assemble at the home of the bride rather than in the vestibule of the church or elsewhere. Except the groom and best man, who await the others in the vestry and the ushers who have gone on ahead an hour or so earlier.
The bride's mother, the maid of honor and guests leave the home of the bride first. ”

“ Then the young couple arose and offered cups of saké to their parents, after which the bride removed her veil, and the ceremony was ended. Then the wedding-guests, who had been in other rooms during the ceremony, joined the wedding-party and all partook of a feast prepared for the occasion, with the mirth and joy that [Pg 136] usually accompany weddings among all peoples and in all times. ”

“ If the bridal party is asked to dine at the house of the bride on the evening before the wedding, it is usually with the purpose of gathering a generally irresponsible group of young people together, and seeing that they go to the church for rehearsal, which is of all things the most important. More often the rehearsal is in the afternoon, after which the young people go to the bride's house for tea, allowing her parents to have her to themselves on her last evening home, and giving her a chance to go early to bed so as to be as pretty as possible on the morrow. ”

“ The real festivities of a wedding start about three days before the ceremony, with the arrival of the “wedding party,” in which party the most responsible position is that of best man. Let us suppose that you are to be the best man at the Roe-Doe nuptials. ”

“ Next day, the bride and her bridemaids take a bath and perfume themselves, and the whole wedding party prepares for a new festival; and sometimes the rejoicings last for seven days, in the evenings of which there are always dancing and other amusements. If provisions fail, the men of the party spread through the neighbourhood, and kill what they want in the first flocks and herds they find. ”

“ A wedding-party is not an indispensable accessory to the ceremony. A bridal journey from here to Richmond would be a very good substitute. Indeed, since the catastrophe of the last wedding-party at Clifton, I think the bridal journey would be in the best taste. ”

“ The biggest social events of the day were the weddings. Often they occurred at noon, to be followed by an afternoon of merry-making, a big supper for the whole wedding party, and a dance in the evening. The most popular dances were jigs, four-handed reels, double shuffles, and scamper-downs.
The parents often helped their children start married life by giving them a cow, ewe, or sow, a saddle, spinning wheel, kitchen utensils, or a feather bed.
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A bride with an embroidered muslin gown for the wedding was considered fortunate, indeed. ”

“ If the church wedding is a full dress one, followed by an evening reception, it is proper to wear an evening gown. If it is in the daytime, a handsome visiting dress and pretty bonnet are proper.
At a daytime wedding the guests seldom remove their bonnets, although, of course, heavy wraps are frequently laid aside. At an evening affair one goes in full dress without anything on one’s head. The ushers present the guests to the bridal party. The bridesmaids are spoken to by the people they know, but it is not necessary that they should be addressed by everybody. ”

“ It must be explained for the benefit of those who do not live in the little world where an allusion is all that is necessary to put one in full possession of any drama, domestic or social, that Mr. Horace was speaking of the wedding-night of madame, when the bridal party stood as he described under the chandelier; the bride and groom, with each one's best friend. ”

“ If the wedding occur in the evening, the only difference in the ceremonials from those in the morning is that the ushers or groomsmen wear full evening dress, and the bridal pair retire quietly to dress for their journey before the dancing party disperses, and thus leave unobserved. At the morning wedding only bridemaids, ushers and relatives remain to witness the departure of the pair. ”

“ Although many families celebrate all of these anniversaries, it is more generally the fashion to disregard all those that come before the quarter-century mark. The first anniversary to be celebrated is usually the silver wedding. The most favored way of doing this is to have a dinner party or a reception. Sometimes, especially when there are young unmarried daughters, a dance is given and a dinner follows later. ”

“ Some of these were defined for good, but most of them were evil omens. The ceremony was generally performed at the minister's residence, which was often a considerable distance off. The marriage party generally walked all the way, but if the distance was unusually great, the company rode the journey, and this was called "a riding wedding." There were two companies—the bride's party and the bridegroom's party. ”

“ The prettiest way to make an aisle for the bridal party at a house wedding is for four children to enter the room where the ceremony will be, just before the bridal party comes in, and separate the guests into two groups by stretching two pieces of white ribbon the length of the room. A child stands at each end of the two pieces of ribbon, holding it while the bridal party walks up between them, and during the service. Ushers may hold the ribbons instead of the children, or the ends may be fastened around plants which are placed at the requisite points. ”

“ At length the party of the bride declared they would yield, provided the others offered her a present worthy of her. Thereupon began the song of the Wedding-gifts, to an air as solemn as a church psalm, the men outside singing bass in unison, and the women answering from within in falsetto. In twenty couplets at least the men enumerate all the wedding-presents, and the matrons at length consent that the door should be opened. ”

“ Should a young woman give a luncheon or a dinner to her bridesmaids? The idea of thus gathering her mates around her for the last time before she enters upon a new, joyous, and yet serious phase of her life is a very happy one, provided always that the occasion does not furnish the proverbial last straw of the camel’s load. The preparations for a modern church wedding are so many and so extensive that a bride may go to the altar utterly worn out and looking not her best, but her worst. ”

“ Already, at an early hour in the morning, the gondoliers, in their gayest apparel, were in waiting, and a brilliant party, with bands of music, all rejoicing in confident expectations, set out on their voyage to the bride’s country house. At the dinner banquet, which was protracted till late in the evening, rings were, as usual, interchanged between the lovers; but no sooner had that ceremony taken place, than a most horrible piercing shriek was heard by the whole party with astonishment—by the bridegroom with a cold shuddering through every limb. ”

“ And when the people realized what had happened, everybody roared. No one who glanced at the overturned music instrument and at the musicians, with their punch-dropping heads could restrain their laughter. Even the pompous bride found it so funny that she laughed with the rest.
When the excitement was over and the dessert was ready the wedding guests once more took their seats at the table. The inn-keeper, thinking that this was the moment to settle the matter of dowry, before the actual marriage act could be performed by the priest, knocked on the table for quiet. ”

“ Only close relatives and friends should be invited to the home wedding. The bridegroom does not enter the home of the bride until a half hour before the ceremony begins, and when he does arrive, he and his best man do not mingle with the other guests but retire to an adjoining room provided for them. ”

“ When the ceremony is over the clergyman congratulates the couple and withdraws, and they, turning, face their friends, who then come to wish them happiness.
Whether the wedding take place in the home or at the church, the bridal pageant has only one object in view,—it is wholly for the sake [203] of the bridegroom. Every woman desires to come to her husband in all the glory of her womanhood and of her social position. By all custom the bridegroom does not see his bride upon the wedding day until she approaches him as he stands at the altar. ”

“ There has always been some doubt as to whether or not the family of the second-bride's first husband should be invited to her wedding. Absolutely. There is no reason why they should be ignored, any more than any of the other friends and acquaintances of the bride. In fact, she owes them a special courtesy, and if they accept the invitation, they must be treated with the kindest attention and courtesy. They must always occupy seats below the white ribbon, if the wedding is held at church. ”

“ At many weddings singers from neighbouring villages and hamlets will come into the bride's native place to assist with the singing and music which form a prominent feature of the ceremony. Lighted tapers are sometimes carried by the bridal party in church; and candles that will not burn well are always avoided and thrown aside by the younger and unmarried members of the company on account of the belief prevailing that to hold such is a sure sign that the bearers will not be married within the year. ”

“ The beginning of the wedding march should sound just as the usher returns to the head of the aisle. To repeat: No other person should be seated after the mother of the bride. Guests who arrive later must stand in the vestibule or go into the gallery.
The sound of the music is also the cue for the clergyman to enter the chancel, followed by the groom and his best man. The two latter wear gloves but have left their hats and sticks in the vestry-room. ”

“ If the ceremony is to take place at a large church, invitations are often sent to all those on the visiting-lists of the parents of both young people, as well as to the friends of the latter. Some gracious and thoughtful brides do not forget to send to certain persons not on their visiting-lists—humble friends who sincerely appreciate such a remembrance. If a young woman prefers to have only her relatives and near friends present at her marriage, she will probably please her fiancé, for men usually dislike very much the parade and show of a large wedding. ”

“ On the night before the wedding there is usually a great dance given, and in towns often a hall is hired for the purpose, where the contracting parties are well known, in a good position, and have a large circle of friends and acquaintances ”

“ This constitutes the marriage ceremony proper, but much further bowing has to be gone through by both the parties to each of the people present, who, accompanying their wedding-gifts of birds and fish with pretty compliments, come forward, one by one, to the platform and drink the health, happiness and joy of the wedded pair. It is the duty of the bride to remain perfectly mute and apparently unconcerned at all the pretty speeches addressed to her by the bridegroom and his friends until the nuptial-chamber is entered later in the evening. ”