Occam's razor

“ Now, I would just remark, that I had lately become less expert at shaving myself than I used to be. My hand had a habit of shaking; and occasionally a slip of the razor and a slight cut had made me start, so as to cause me a degree of trepidation at attacking my beard, which was as unpleasant as it was new to me. ”

“ You really mustn't accuse me of being clumsy, sir. I'm not clumsy. If I cut you, it was quite intentional—like this! (Cutting him a second time.)
THE CUSTOMER. Damnation! Are you crazy?
THE BARBER. (Applying the styptic) No, sir, I'm quite sane. (THE CUSTOMER tries to sit up.) Oh, don't do that, sir! Don't do that! My razor is frightfully sharp!
THE CUSTOMER. (Panic-stricken) I want to sit up!
THE BARBER. Don't try it while the razor is at your throat, sir.
It is sure to be fatal. ”

“ I have often put my razor down, regretting, that my beard did not spread over a larger area; so keenly and agreeably has the instrument performed its work. It really seemed, that I might have shaved a sleeping mouse, without disturbing his repose. After twelve hours, that very razor, untouched the while, has come forth, no better than a pot-sherd. The very reverse of all this has also befallen me. I once heard Revaillon, our old French barber, say, that a razor could not be strapped with too light a hand; and the English proverb was always in his mouth—“a good lather is half the shave.” ”

“ One is as much astonished at the size of the combs, scissors, and razors of the ancient barbers as at the giant arms and armour worn by the knights of old. What ponderous blades these artists wielded it is fearful to contemplate. There is an old joke that some barber advertised shaving by the acre, and cutting blocks with a razor one would think not impossible with such weapons. Actius’ razor, which was of the keenest, must have been after this fashion. ”

“ For with her left hand she was plucking out one by one the long hairs of the Michaelis’s beard, while with the razor in her right she was slicing them to the floor!
I must have gasped, made some noise, for she heard me; and, turning on me and brandishing the dripping razor, she snarled like an animal and leapt towards me. But I am young and quick, and managed just in time to reach the street-door and slam it against her enraged pursuit. ”

“ Cheap razors are a fallacy. They soon lose their edge, and no amount of stropping will restore it. A good razor needs no strop. If you can afford it, you should have a case of seven razors, one for each day of the week, so that no one shall be too much used. ”

“ Notwithstanding the boasts of cold water shavers, depend upon it in rigorous weather most people prefer hot to cold water, which renders them slaves to their servants; next, razors, as we know from puff advertisements and our own experience, are the most uncertain of articles; then there is the state of the nerves, that even the strongest cannot always control, causing the unsteady hand to gash and hack the chin, or cover it with blood from the beheading of those pimply eruptions of which the razor has been ofttimes the originator. ”

“ Many of the members of this time-honored institution, from whom we ought to expect better things, not only do their own shaving, but actually make their own razors. But I must explain for the benefit of the uninitiated. A pun, in the elegant college dialect, is called a razor, while an attempt at a pun is styled a sick razor. The sick ones are by far the most numerous ”

“ Should any one ask if we shave every day.
While alike born for scrapes in our life’s daily course,
Always sure to come through with a cut, if not worse;
When we’re barely shaved down just to what Fashion saith,
The High-mettled Razor now bores us to death.
Grown rusty, used up, and turned dull as a spud,
Notched, blunted, and always, when used, drawing blood;
While, knowing its past deeds, its misdeeds we trace,
Tell, “This notch cut my finger, and this cut my face;”
And what dangers we’ve run, we could quickly count o’er,
As we wasted our time, and our temper, and gore ”

“ By what means though, can he judge of the temper of a razor without using it? The unassisted eye is not sufficient. Its power extends no further than to the discovery of defects the most striking and injurious. ”

“ Indeed there is something restful and soothing to the average male adult in the feel of a sharp razor being guided over a bristly jowl by a deft and skillful hand, to the accompaniment of a gentle grating sound and followed by a sensation of transient silken smoothness. ”

“ Silence.
“Wonderful stiff, wiry beard yours, Mr Brime, sir. Pleasure to shave it, though. I hate your fluffy beards that lie down before the razor. Yours is a downright upright one, which meets the razor like crisp grass. What a difference in beards. Not in a hurry, sir, I hope?”
“No.”
“Then I’ll do it well, sir, so as to make it last. Ah, many’s the time I’ve shaved poor Mr Gartram, sir! Hard man to please over pimples, while a nick used to make him swear terrible, and there are times when you can’t help just a touch, sir.” ”

“ Some men find both the dread and the tremor much worse at times when they are tired and worried, and can shave very well at other times. Some men can shave very well when they are not under observation, but if anyone is looking at them they tremble and cut themselves. The safety razor usually does away with these troubles, large or small, but if it should happen that by particularly inexpert use they cut themselves even with a safety razor, especially in the throat region, the old dread and tremor reassert themselves and shaving becomes almost as difficult as before. ”

“ It is written, in Isaiah vii. 20, “In the same day shall the Lord shave with a razor, that is hired,” &c. Ezekiel began to prophecy, according to Calmet, 590 years before Christ: in the first verse of ch. v. he says—“take thee a sharp knife, take thee a barber’s razor, and cause it to pass upon thy head and upon thy beard.” To cause a razor to pass upon the beard seems to mean something very different from shaving, in the common sense of that word. ”

“ It is hard to think of any place where a razor-blade, indestructible and horribly sharp as it is,—for all purposes except shaving,—can be thrown away without some worry over possible consequences. A baby may find and swallow it ”

“ But there was the razor blade; they would send the razor blade if they could. There would be perhaps five seconds before the guard could rush into the cell. The blade would bite into him with a sort of burning coldness, and even the fingers that held it would be cut to the bone. Everything came back to his sick body, which shrank trembling from the smallest pain. He was not certain that he would use the razor blade even if he got the chance. It was more natural to exist from moment to moment, accepting another ten minutes’ life even with the certainty that there was torture at theend of it. ”

“ The truth is, however, that anyone who has a good keen smooth-cutting razor, lathers the face thoroughly, and will learn—if he does not already know—how to handle the razor properly, will run almost no danger. Such a man will seldom cut himself. ”

“ He had bought a razor and now and then with infinite care shaved the down off his smooth chin.
"We've been so lonely without you." And then shyly, with a little break in her voice, she asked: "You are glad to come back to your home, aren't you?" ”

“ He suggests that razors of tried and trusty character, razors whose public form can be depended upon, should be purchased of barbers. But it is not every barber who will part with such possessions. Razors are like Scotch sheep dogs; no one would keep a bad one, or sell, or give away a good one. Cœlebs did not find the quest of a wife more arduous than all men find that of a really responsible razor. ”

“ How very cheap is this manliness, whose credentials are a bush of hair and a cloud of smoke! Even the ancients felt that this pretentious growth of hair was a superfluous addition, or a cheap ornament, and they tried to get rid of it by the aid of burning nutshells and similar expedients. But since the razor has been invented, this greatly depreciated instrument of civilization, almost all intellectual men have attempted to free themselves of this animal distinction, and to show their human physiognomy openly to the world. ”

“ All razors are feminine, and things of moods. The razor you sharpen to-day may not be sharp, though manipulated upon hone or strap with all persistence and all skill. The razor you sharpen to-morrow may be far more tractable. ”

“ Stop the murderer who is going to kill me—he has a razor to cut my throat!’ His face wore a terrible expression of fear, the furrows on the brow, the dilated nostrils, contracted lips, the gnashing of the teeth, gave evidence of a desperate struggle. ”

“ He said the barber ought to be called, as soon, as the breath was out of the body, and a little before, if it was a clear case, and you wished the corpse “to look wholesome.” I think he was right. Pope’s Narcissa said—
“One need not sure be ugly, though one’s dead.”
There is considerable mystery, in shaving a living corpse. I find it so; and yet I have always shaved myself; for I have never been able to overcome a strong, hereditary prejudice, against being taken by the nose.
[Pg 582] My razor is very capricious; so, I suppose, is everybody’s razor. ”

“ If you take a razor in one hand and hit the palm of the other hand a smart blow with the edge, no harm will be done; but if you vary this hit, by making it lighter and putting the slightest possible draw into it, a cut will be the result, and blood will flow freely. That is to say, anything like drawing the edge along the skin will produce a cut. ”

“ Hellman made a practice incision in the radish, squinting along the top of the razor. Casker bent closer, his mouth open. Hellman poised the razor delicately and cut the radish cleanly in half.
"Will you say grace?" ”

“ When he sees that his razor has cut through the skin, and is entering the flesh, he stops right there, and calls your attention to the fact that he has stopped, and claims some credit for not carving off a half pound or more. ”

“ Talk about getting next to Nature in about three days after a man has sold his razor, Nature will get next to him, and if he is not as beardless as an American Indian, he will be convinced when he sees himself in a mirror, of the truth of the Darwinian theory.”
“In Russia,” I said, “the beard is the patriarch’s badge of sanctity.”
“So it is in Jersey and several other States,” he replied. "Many a so-called hobo with two [41] weeks’ growth of beard on his face may be at heart only a conscientious respecter of the law—for it is a misdemeanor in New Jersey to carry a razor. ”

“ TO MASTER MOODY, THE RAZOR-SETTER. Newcastle on Tyne, May Twenty-nine.
Good Master Moody,
My beard being cloudy,
My cheeks, chin, and lips
Like moon i’ the ’clipse,
For want of a wipe:
I’ve sent you a razor,
If you’ll be at leisure
To grind her, and set her,
And make her cut better,
You’ll e’en light my pipe. [49]
Dear sir, you know little
The case of poor Whittle—
I’m courting Tantivie,
If you will believe me,
Pray mark what I say: [189]
I’m frank in my proffers,
And when I make offers,
To kiss the sweet creature,
My lips cannot meet her.
My beard stops the way. ”

“ Some one had been shaving, and that quite recently, on the “Cuban Queen.” It could not be Hughes, for he wore a thick, full beard. If the person who passed as “Mrs. Hughes” really was a woman she was not likely to have recourse to a razor to enhance her charms. If, on the other hand, that person was a man, who was personating a woman for purposes of disguise, a razor would be an absolute necessity among his toilet requisites. ”

“ To my consternation, after lathering one or two customers, I was ordered to complete the shaving operation. My heart thumped because I wondered how the unfortunate German client would fare in my unskilled hands. Bracing myself up I completed the task without a hitch, although I do not think the customer looked any better after I had finished with him than he did before.
But the succeeding customer encountered disaster. The razor made a slip, inflicting a terrible gash in the man's ear. ”

“ To make a lather, put a few drops into a wine-glass of tepid water; dip your brush in the mixture, and, when rubbed on the face, a fine lather will appear. 2. Dissolve any quantity of fine soap in alcohol, either with or without perfume. Use it according to the preceding directions.
624. An Easy Shave.—The operation of shaving may be robbed of its unpleasant sensations by rubbing the chin over with grease, or a sweet oil, before the application of the razor. The best razor-strop in the world is one's own hand, moistened with its own natural oil or perspiration. ”

“ Of razors and razor-sharpening much might be said, both as regards the instrument itself, as well as the proper mode of keeping it in order. Every hairdresser and barber knows when he is in possession of a good razor, and undoubtedly takes proper care of it. ”

“ The object of honing the razor, as has been explained, is to abraid and wear away the edge of the blade so that it becomes as thin as possible. But when this is done, the process of sharpening the razor is still incomplete, for the edge, when taken from the hone, is left rough and unfit to put on the face. ”

“ Should the section be somewhat tough we may find the razor slip suddenly over its surface, an event which will impress itself upon us painfully if we have forgotten the injunction not to bend the thumb, for the certain result of the slip will be the loss of a goodly portion of skin upon one’s joint. A straight thumb will be out of the danger zone of a slipping razor. ”