Courtship

“ I say no more because I have assumed at the beginning that your courtship is honourable, that you love the girl of your choice, and that as you would shield her from all injury from others, so she will be safe under your protection. Take no ordinary standard as the rule of your courtship, but determine from the very beginning that it shall be so conducted, that when as man and wife you look back upon it, it may be with feelings free from any taint of sorrow or shame ”

“ But courtship should be employed, not as a period of pleasure and extravagance, but as an opportunity for learning the suitability of the parties, one for the other, and their desirability in virtue, religion, sanity, intelligence, health, wealth, position, love of children, sobriety, steadiness, etc. ”

“ Civilisation is so acutely developed at present that the old meaning of courtship is completely lost. None of the phenomena which precede a proposal would be deemed singular or out of place in a platonic friendship. This state of affairs gives a man every advantage and all possible liberty of choice. ”

“ These rules, together with various amendments, now constitute the etiquette of courtship.
Suppose, for example, that you are a young gentleman named Richard Roe desirous of entering upon a formal courtship with some refined young girl of fashion. You are also, being a college graduate, engaged in the bond business. One morning there comes into your financial institution a young lady, named Dorothy Doe, who at once attracts your attention by her genteel manners, as exemplified by the fact that she calls the president of your company “father.” ”

“ With better knowledge it was found that the seeming brutality once thought to take the place of courtship among various peoples in a low state of culture was really itself courtship, a rough kind of play agreeable to both parties and not depriving the feminine partner of her own freedom of choice. ”

“ Courtship is a formal affair conducted always before one or both parents. If a youth fancies a maid, he calls at her house and, scarcely noticing her, talks to her father about anything in the world but his errand. ”

“ No doubt they suit you best — although
They woo you roughly it is said:
Their way of courtship is a blow
Struck with a nullah on the head.
It doesn't hurt you much — the thing
Is hardly novel to your life ”

“ And there are many blanks left in the weeks of courtship, which a loving faith fills with happy assurance. ”

“ The young man notices the same girl for two or three days, then asks to be presented to her; the heads of the two families confer, finances are frankly discussed, and, if everything is found satisfactory, the courtship is allowed to proceed. ”

“ COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE, which tells how to win the favor of the ladies, how to begin and end a courtship, and how to “Pop the Question;” and also gives full information in regard to the invitations, gifts, ushers, bridesmaids, conduct of the wedding ceremony, etc., etc. ”

“ Those Marriages generally abound most with Love and Constancy, that are preceded by a long Courtship. ”

“ COURTSHIP
Is always an engrossing subject, and has appropriated its full share of omens and superstitious ceremonies. The dictum that "Long courtships make bad marriages," is never questioned by any ”

“ "What tale do you like best to hear?"
"Oh, I have not much choice! They generally run on the same theme—courtship; and promise to end in the same catastrophe—marriage." ”

“ All these are crushing questions; but whatever else remained the same, the light had changed, and you cannot find the pearly dawn at noonday. The fact is unalterable, that a fellow-mortal with whose nature you are acquainted solely through the brief entrances and exits of a few imaginative weeks called courtship, may, when seen in the continuity of married companionship, be disclosed as something better or worse than what you have preconceived, but will certainly not appear altogether the same. ”

“ Long Courtships.—Chiefly for the reasons presented in the preceding paragraphs, we are opposed to long courtships and long engagements. They are productive of no good, and are not infrequently the occasion of much evil. ”

“ Although, therefore, it be, by and pursuant to Your Highness’s decree, the sure right of every man in this Duchy to be accepted in marriage of any damsel whom he shall invite thereunto, yet is this right in all respects subject to and controlled by the natural, legal, inalienable, unalterable, and sovereign prerogative of Your Highness to marry what damsel so ever it shall be Your pleasure to bid share your throne. ”

“ If you do indeed respect Heaven and recognize the Sovereign, then our celestial court, viewing all under Heaven as one family, and uniting all nations as one body, will most assuredly regard your faithful purpose and permit you year by year to bring tribute and annually come to pay court to the Celestial Kingdom, forever bathing yourself in the gracious streams of the celestial dynasty, peacefully residing in your own lands, and living quietly enjoying great glory. ”

“ With regard to all those orders that the Lord has revealed, it depends upon the will and doings of the people, and we are at liberty, from this Conference, to go and build up a settlement, or we can join ourselves together in this city, do it legally—according to the laws of the land—and enter into covenant with each other by a firm agreement that we will live as a family, that we will put our property into the hands of a committee of trustees, who shall dictate the affairs of this society. If any man can bring up anything to prove to the contrary I am willing to hear it. ”

“ We have first shown all the points of the treaties that had been proposed, after mature council, as well to those of our blood and great council as to the prelates, barons, and knights of our different courts of parliament, and to other officers of justice in the court of the Conciergerie, and also to our well-beloved daughter the university of Paris, the clergy and citizens of our capital, who have been all delighted therewith, and have unanimously supplicated us to complete the peace, which, through the mercy of God, we have done. ”

“ We are taught in the holy scriptures, the primary importance of judicious views of the nature and responsibilities of the marriage institution itself. We should apprehend it, not from its mere worldly standpoint, not as a simple legal alliance, not only as a scheme for temporal welfare and happiness, but as a divine institute, a religious alliance, involving moral responsibilities, and momentous consequences for eternity as well as for time, for soul as well as for body. ”

“ Pray them to weigh things more indifferently. To charge us with breach of covenant when they break first, to bind us to the words of a treaty when it maketh for their purpose, and to use the benefit of a glosed interpretation when the words make against them, what equity, reason, honour, justice, treaty, or amity, can bear it? ”

“ Their employers are appointed by God, as the rulers and overseers of the family, and those they hire are under [101] obligation to obey, in all matters relating to family work, just as a citizen is under obligations to obey rulers, when they administer the laws of the state. The master and mistress of a family are rulers of their house, just as magistrates are rulers of the people.
A gentleman of the highest standing for wealth, intelligence, and honour, obeys his rulers in all points where they have a right to direct, whether the laws are good or bad, whether the rulers are wise or foolish. ”

“ In addition, every religious society in the state may join together in wedlock persons one or both of whom are its members; and by a later enactment authority is conferred upon the chief justice and the associate justices of the supreme court, the chancellor and every vice-chancellor of the equity courts, in as full measure "as if the marriage were solemnized by a stated and ordained minister of the gospel." ”

“ Every ordained minister of the gospel, of any religious denomination, the supreme judge, and all justices of the peace, are hereby authorized to solemnize marriage according to law, to have the same recorded, and pay the recorder’s fee. ”

“ Of Civil Affairs they teach that lawful civil ordinances are good works of God, and that it is right for Christians to bear civil office, to sit as judges, to judge matters by the Imperial and other existing laws, to award just punishments, to engage in just wars, to serve as soldiers, to make legal contracts, to hold property, to make oath when required by the magistrates, to marry a wife, to be given in marriage. ”

“ Is it reasonable, you ask, that you should be tried for your lives before a few members of your House, selected by the Crown? Is it reasonable, we ask in our turn, that you should have the privilege of being tried by all the members of your House, that is to say, by your brothers, your uncles, your first cousins, your second cousins, your fathers in law, your brothers in law, your most intimate friends? ”

“ But some kinds of law have already been established by certain custom, such as those relating to covenants, equity, formal decisions. A covenant is that which is agreed upon between two parties, because it is considered to be so just that it is said to be enforced by justice, equity is that which is equal to all men, a formal decision is that by which something has been established by the declared opinion of some person or persons authorized to pronounce one. ”

“ The King, in consideration of the old friendship which subsisted between your father and himself, in youthful days, before political strifes divided them, has granted that the estate yet unappropriated shall be restored to you, on two conditions, one of which is already fulfilled—your marriage with an English Protestant gentleman, and the other, which doubtless you will fulfil, residence in this country, and obedience to the laws. ”

“ The seventh describes what shall be required of justices of the peace and ministers of the gospel before they solemnize any marriage. The eighth declares that in every case, that is, whenever any marriage shall be solemnized in the manner described in the act, there shall be at least two witnesses present beside the minister or magistrate. ”

“ The former declares that no marriage solemnized before any person professing to be a justice of the peace or minister of the gospel shall be deemed or adjudged to be void on account of any want of jurisdiction or authority in such supposed minister or justice, provided the marriage be consummated with a full belief on the part of the persons so married, or either of them, that they have been lawfully joined in marriage. ”

“ I cannot bear to think of dear Court Royal passing into other hands. Now, if you marry, you must marry so as to recover the property from its embarrassments. Such an opportunity presents itself. I will speak to you more fully on this when we meet. ”

“ And while they acknowledge the courtesy their claims have received, they express their belief that satisfaction will never ensue till all classes have the option to consider Marriage as a religious solemnity, or as a civil contract—and to have the religious solemnity celebrated by the Ministers of the Congregations or Denomination to which they belong—nor till Marriages may be registered by a civil officer with safety and facility, and on economical terms. ”

“ Certainly, it ought not to be possible for men and women to assume the solemn obligation of marriage in one State, under one set of legal conditions, and one or the other party to the contract throw off those obligations in another State, under another set of legal conditions. ”

“ Again, for instance, the husband and wife unite their destinies under the seal of this everlasting covenant, for this covenant covers all the just transactions of the legitimate authorities and powers that be on earth. We therefore regard marriage as a branch of the everlasting covenant. ”

“ In the Contract the Parties bind themselves to live in this Harmony and state of Union; what else is understood by living according to GOD's holy Ordinance. How do they live according to a holy Ordinance, whose Conversation even towards one another, and with one another, pollutes and defiles the state of Life, and would the very Ordinance too, if that were possible? ”

“ Previous to the administration of those sacred sealing ordinances, he explained to each of the chosen ones the law, obligations and object of Celestial Marriage, and that he might be expected to take others—that the ceremony being precisely the same for each, they would all occupy the same equal position, no one having a higher claim than another. ”

“ Seeing then our princes, our magistrates, our ministers, and our people, have freely consented to, written, and sworn this covenant; let us all in our several places, be up and doing, that the Lord may be with us; not sit still and do nothing, and so cause the Lord to turn against us.
You that are for consultation, go to counsel; you that are for execution, go on to acting; you that are for exhorting the people in this work, attend to exhortation; you that are soldiers, draw your swords; you that have estates, draw your purses; you that have strength of body, lend your hands ”

“ When the oath is commanded, Covenanting with God concerning things religious is inculcated by his authority. Yea, the exercise concerning things both civil and religious, in such a case, is enjoined. Lawful oaths between nations, or between a people and their sovereign, bind all parties, not merely to one another, but also in solemn engagement to the Most High. Oaths taken in courts of judicature, civil or religious, and the marriage oath, bind the parties in like manner. ”

“ None but some approved minister or justice of the peace within this Province, or some chief officer, where such are not, shall be allowed to marry or admit of any to join in marriage, in their presence ”

“ God himself instituted the marriage union, and being appointed and established by him, it must be an honorable state. “Marriage is honorable in all,” being a Divine institution; and consequently suitable for persons of any rank, or employment, either civil or sacred. ”