Marriage vow

“ Divorce I hold a shameful blot on true womanhood, a menace to domestic and national morality, an insult to the Lord. Human law can no more annul my marriage than my baptismal vow; neither was made to man ”

“ Sir,—As a lawyer, I hold that the contract into which a woman enters at marriage to obey her husband, being one made "under duress," is entirely void. She is compelled to take the vow, otherwise she could not be married at all. ”

“ He seems to want the mind that I would have the man blessed with that I am to vow to love and honor. I purpose whenever I marry to make a very good, and even dutiful wife; must I not vow obedience, and shall I break my marriage vow? ”

“ They are blamed for the rigid character of their collective routine; and also for the fantastic character of their individual fanaticism. For the purposes of this part of the argument, it would not matter if the marriage vow produced the most austere discomforts of the monastic vow. The point for the present is that it was sustained by a sense of free will; and the feeling that its evils were not accepted but chosen. The same spirit ran through all the guilds and popular arts and spontaneous social systems of the whole civilisation. ”

“ There is only one form of freedom which they tolerate; and that is the sort of sexual freedom which is covered by the legal fiction of divorce. If we ask why this liberty is alone left, when so many liberties are lost, we shall find the answer in the summary of this chapter. They are trying to break the vow of the knight as they broke the vow of the monk. They recognise the vow as the vital antithesis to servile status, the alternative and therefore the antagonist. Marriage makes a small state within the state, which resists all such regimentation. ”

“ Waitz, Anthropologie, V, 106, 107. "When the wife has broken the marriage vow, the husband may put her away, returning her property; but when the man is guilty of this crime, or has even made himself suspected of it, his fate is worse ”

“ Vow.—The following simple vows make marriage illicit: the vow of virginity, that of perfect chastity, the vow not to marry, the vow to receive Sacred Orders, the vow to enter religious life, the simple vows of religion. A vow to abstain from the use of marriage is not against the substance of marriage, but it is difficult to keep in the married state; the vows to enter religion, or take Sacred Orders, or not to wed, are incompatible with marriage. ”

“ Woman are placed different from men, and policies may turn on giving their hands in marriage. I would not have you forced to wed, and then always be pestered by remembering an unfulfillable vow. I would rather have you free, and then, if God wills, we shall come together some day and marry ”

“ Ehesachen gehen die Gewissen nicht an, sondern gehören für die weltliche Oberkeit; darumb schlage sich keiner drein, die Oberkeit befehl es denn, sprach D. M. L. zu den Predigern."—Tischreden, fol. 369. In another passage, speaking of the breach of the marriage vow and divorce, he says: "Solche fälle gehören eigentlich der Oberkeit; denn die Ehe ist ein weltlich ding, mit allen iren umbstenden; gehet die Kirch nichts an, denn so viel es die Gewissen belanget."—Ibid., fol. 368. Cf. Friedberg, Eheschliessung, 160. ”

“ When both consorts take a like vow of continence, neither renounces the marriage tie, wherefore it still remains: but when only one takes the vow, then for his own part he renounces the marriage tie, wherefore the other is freed therefrom. ”

“ LEGAL MARRIAGE.—What would any woman give for merely a nominal or legal husband, just to live with and provide for her, but who entertained not one spark of love for her, or whose affections were bestowed upon another? ”

“ But yet to say divorce was granted for relief of wives, rather than for husbands, is but weakly conjectured, and is manifest the extreme shift of a huddled exposition ... Palpably uxorious! Who can be ignorant that woman was created for man, and not man for woman, and that a husband may be injured as insufferably in marriage as a wife. ”

“ As to the responsibility of women concerning vows, we read that a woman under the power of her father or husband shall be bound to fulfil a vow contingently on the consent of her superior, but an independent woman is bound like a man: “The widow, and she that is divorced, shall fulfil whatsoever they vow.” ”

“ The peach bloom on Marcia's cheek deepened as she bent over the daisy chain she was idly making.
"Doubtful ones! The dissolution of marriage may itself be an open question. But, for all churchmen, the remarriage of divorced persons—and trebly, when it is asked for by the person whose sin caused the divorce!—is an absolutely closed one!" ”

“ And passing strange is it, too, that so many, wise and far-seeing in less weighty concerns, do not appear to see in the evergrowing power of divorce a menace not only to the sacredness of the marriage institution, but even to the fair social fabric reared upon matrimony as its corner-stone. ”

“ Is it possible for a responsible man of a serious turn of mind and a true Christian to care for the love of his wife? ... If the husband seeking divorce, or the wife seeking separation, alleges the refusal of the conjugal right, then, of course, there is a legitimate reason for a rupture, for the service for which the marriage is granted has not been carried out. ”

“ Some may pretend to say that if it be considered adultery to marry another, after having unlawfully divorced a wife, then it would be considered adultery to marry another without a divorce, having two or more at the same time. ”

“ I have put first the question of what is marriage. And we are now in a position to ask more clearly what is divorce. It is not merely the negation or neglect of marriage; for any one can always neglect marriage. It is not the dissolution of the legal obligation of marriage, or even the legal obligation of monogamy; for the simple reason that no such obligation exists. Any man in modern London may have a hundred wives if he does not call them wives; or rather, if he does not go through certain more or less mystical ceremonies in order to assert that they are wives. ”

“ CXLII. The essence of Marriage is consent. Ceremonials merely publish the fact; wherefore it should be the law of every land that he who finds a woman worth seducing, and does it, should, by that act alone, he compelled to maintain and acknowledge her as a lawful wife, unless she sees fit to waive her undoubted right to claim and hold him as a husband. ”

“ The Doctrine and Discipline of Divorce, Restored to the good of both Sexes from the Bondage of Canon Law and other Mistakes was the title of a pamphlet put forth by him in August 1643, without his name, but with no effort at concealment, declaring the notion of a sacramental sanctity in the marriage relation to be a clerically invented superstition, and arguing that inherent incompatibility of character, or contrariety of mind, between two married persons is a perfectly just reason for divorce. ”

“ As for a woman that is a widow or divorced, she has neither father nor husband to control her, so that, whatever vows she binds her soul with, they shall stand against her (v. 9) , it is at her peril if she run back; but a wife, who has nothing that she can strictly call her own, but with her husband's allowance, cannot, without that, make any such vow. ”

“ If the death of a wife dissolve the affinity between her husband and her daughter, it must dissolve the affinity between him and all her kindred. What follows?
1. A man marries a woman; and by his marriage he sustains affinity to all her kindred. Her mother becomes his mother-in-law ”

“ But even if we one day come so far that early love-matches are the rule, we shall still be faced, as regards them, by the system which at present obtains among the upper classes: that marriage is binding upon the lovers before love is consummated. There is therefore a truth worthy of consideration in the words of the brothers Margueritte, in their contribution to the question of free divorce; that as the young girl has not experienced what she binds herself to at marriage, the majority of divorces begin on the wedding night. ”

“ I admit that I am selfish, and that I am using the knowledge I possess to gain my own ends, but on the morning that you give me your hand in marriage I swear that I will place in your hands the documents that will prove your mother a lawfully-wedded wife, and give you a legal right to your father's name and wealth. ”

“ A little blue-eyed maiden, who was romping with her fifth Christmas doll, and listening to some conversation about unhappy marriages, incompatibilities of temper, and the Chicago recipe for unmarrying, turned to her mother and said, "Well, ma, I'm never going to marry. I'm going to be a widow." The dear little chatterbox! If she could only have kept her own counsel a few years longer. How many are there who would like being widows, without going through the form of marriage? but then, they'll never say so, for widows have their privileges, and privileges, too, that wives have not. ”

“ I return to the Principle, which is the Proposition in this Chapter, That there is a needful Modesty and Decency requisite even between a Man and his Wife after Marriage, and not destroyed by their Matrimony. Certainly People do not by Matrimony cease to be Men and Women, nor do the Man and Woman cease to be rational Creatures, much less do they cease to be Christians: let every marry'd Couple remember those three Things, and I am fully assured they will take care not to deserve the Reproof of this Chapter. ”

“ If they be right—and I suspect they are—we have made a famous blunder by our late legislation about divorce. Of all the crafts that ever were launched, marriage is one from which fewest facilities of desertion should be provided. ”

“ Some husbands and wives fight like cats and dogs, but in spite of it all, thank God, they still dearly love their children. What man or woman within the pale of decency would give a daughter in marriage with the thought that she might be put away by her husband at some time for some cause recognized by the courts of Utah, or Chicago, or Indiana, as sufficient for divorce? ”

“ These and similar utterances you may very well hold over your wife.” [510]
In 1542 Wicel, in his Postils, speaking of the preachers, says: “The words of St. Paul, ‘Art thou loosed from a wife, seek not a wife,’ 1 Cor. vii. 27, have a very unevangelical sound on the lips of these Evangelists. How then must it be? Quick, take a wife or a husband; whether you be young or old, make haste; should one die, don’t delay to take another. Celebrate the wedding, if it turns out ill, then let the maid come! Divorce this one and take in marriage that one, whether the first be living or dead! ”

“ If a Wife impatient of an Injury of this Kind, which is indeed a virtual Dissolution of the Marriage, appeals to the higher Powers for an actual Divorce, 'tis possible she may obtain it, with a small Pittance, with which she may keep herself from Disease and Want. If she brought the whole that the Husband possesses, she may be assigned the fourth or fifth Part, and be (which it must be supposed the Law can give a wife and equitable Reason for) be indulged with the Remainder, to make as just use of, as he had done with the Whole. ”

“ Let the public at large notice what the Rev. W. Morley Punshon, President of the Wesleyan Conference, distinctly says: It appears to me, and has always appeared to me that the doctrine of this passage (Rom. VI: 2) 'is that the relationship of affinity created by law, ceases when the law ceases." An astounding, a tremendous conclusion! Observe, so a man may marry his father's wife, his son's wife, his brother's wife, his wife's mother, his wife's daughter, his wife's grand-daughter—all expressly fordidden in Scripture! ”

“ Where the parties live together ostensibly as husband and wife, demeaning themselves toward each other as such, and are received into society and treated by their friends and relations as having and being entitled to that status, the law will, in favour of morality and decency, presume that they have been legally married. ”

“ More and more, in theory if not always in practice, the antagonism of the church to the second marriage of a divorced man or woman becomes apparent as we approach the close of the period under consideration. ”

“ John, editor of the Prose Works of Milton, remarks in reference to the marriage law as it now stands in England:—
"Having been invented and established by men, it is calculated to bear with extreme severity on women, who are daily subjected to wrongs and hardships which they would not endure, were the relief of divorce open to them. Those who take a different view descant upon the encouragement which would, they say, be given to immorality were divorce made easy. ”

“ Were it otherwise, were the affinity established by marriage dissolved by the death of a wife, there would exist, on the ground of relationship, no bar to his marriage with her daughter, or with her mother ”

“ There cannot be the slightest doubt that the difficulty, the confusion, the inconsistency, and the flagrant indecency which surround divorce and the methods of securing it are due solely and entirely to the subtle persistence of traditions based, on the one hand, on the Canon law doctrines of the indissolubility of marriage and the sin of sexual intercourse outside marriage, and, on the other hand, on the primitive idea of marriage as a contract which economically subordinates the wife to the husband and renders her person, or at all events her guardianship, his property. ”

“ The conclusion to be drawn from all these facts is, that there are no more fixed rules for divorce than for marriage in savage societies. But, as the wife is more often bought or captured, it is quite natural that her owner should send her away at his pleasure. ”

“ Here, I assure you, the girls dread marriage, and simply because it curtails that freedom of life, of following their own inclination, that passion that is bred in their bones, and was the holiest creed of their parents.
“Only a wealthy husband, who is not likely to be too uxorious or too particular, will be endured in a few years. ”