Rendezvous

“ I returned, "is to give all my visitors the same reception; for when I give an invitation, it is to entertain, not distinguish, my company: I place every man upon my own level whom I admit to my table." ”

“ VALENTINE ENTERTAINMENT
Two dozen couples make a very goodly company of young folks for a pleasant little evening; therefore, send out invitations to that number. The cards of invitation might have on them, either in India ink or water-colors, an arrow-pierced heart, a whole heart or a broken one; even a cluster of them, like fishes on a string, according to the pleasure of the hostess. For each of the twelve young ladies invited, select a rôle that she will impersonate ”

“ INVITATIONS. The Formal Invitation.—A dinner-party is the most formal and most important of all social functions. We may invite all our acquaintances to a ball or a reception. We may select more carefully for our teas and luncheons, but the dinner is reserved as the greatest compliment to be paid those we wish to honor. Therefore an immediate acceptance or regret must be sent, and nothing but illness, accident or death should prevent us from presenting ourselves. ”

“ When other visitors, or some similar circumstance, interfere with the accomplishment of your purpose, you may write what you wish upon a card in the hall, as you go out, and intrust it to a servant, or leave a message with him, or in case of there being objections to either of those methods of communication, resort to an appointment requested through him, or subsequently write a note to that effect, or containing an explanation of the object of your visit. When you determine to outstay others at a morning reception, upon the rising of ladies to depart, you rise also, under all circumstances ”

“ If you are at a special invitation afternoon tea or reception, pay particular attention to the hostess whenever she is seen unoccupied, and offer your company in escorting her to partake of refreshments. Always eat lightly of the viands yourself. If a crowded reception, half an hour only should be spent thereat. A reception call should be made within three months thereafter; half an hour, or possibly three-quarters, is proper for such a call.
12. A gentleman should never enter his sister’s luncheon hall when the repast is in progress ”

“ If a guest is expected from a distant city, all that is necessary, as a rule, is to write in a short letter, which is opened and read by the host- or hostess-to-be, announcing that the guest will arrive at a certain time. ”

“ Invitation An invitation, no matter how informal, must be answered within a week and with certainty. Any delay, or doubtful expression that you think you can come, or will come if in town, is the height of ill breeding. Your hostess wishes to know exactly how many guests to expect, and your answer must be a positive one. The wording of acceptance or regret follows exactly that of the invitation and is addressed to the person who invites you. Invitations to informal affairs—small dinner, luncheon, or a week's end—may be written on note sheets and couched in the first person. ”

“ When a hostess wishes to have her friends meet an expected guest, she should inform them of the intended visit beforehand, and so enable them to make an engagement to meet her, or plan entertainment for her. Invitations to a reception in honor of a friend can well be, and should be, sent out in advance of her coming, if her stay is to be short, and if the dates of her stay are definitely known. ”

“ You may depend upon it that no person having any knowledge of society would invite you for, at the [179] most, more than a week, and if longer the inviter would acquaint you of the fact in the invitation. But for a week or less the inviter would neglect to mention any given time of stay. But it should be understood that at the close of the second day the visitor is to remark upon his departure as fixed for the following day; then if the host or hostess desire your presence for a longer period, they will express themselves to that effect. ”

“ When he is here, thou mayst confer with him, and see how he can help thee!”
A conference with such a person did not promise to be attended with any material and decided benefit; but, in fortune’s extremity, we are inclined to look on every change, whatever may be its aspect, with an eye of favour, and to tender countenance and welcome to the most flimsy prospect. ”

“ When Calling.—If making a call, and another visitor enters, the lady of the house rises to greet her and introduces any other guests who may be present. A man must rise and find a scat for the newcomer, but the women bow without rising. If only one guest is present, she should rise if the hostess and latest caller remain standing, or if a change of seats seems desirable. ”

“ Ordinarily, when the bearer of a letter of introduction is a woman, a call is made within three days. This call is followed by the offer of some hospitality, usually a luncheon or tea. A gentleman calls upon a lady or upon another gentleman as soon as he receives a letter of introduction. But a lady, instead of making a call, sends an invitation to the gentleman who is introduced to her by means of a letter. ”

“ The first shot may well be an accident, the second may possibly be, but as the third inexorably follows, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, parents and sons, look at each other with blanched faces, and instantly a hundred scenes of quiet preparation for meeting, are transformed into the confusion of a very different kind of preparation. ”

“ Much depends on the place of meeting—much on the time—much on the crowded or empty state of the streets, and much, of course, on the degree of your intimacy with him, and the distance of time since you last met. ”

“ A lady once said to me of a certain gentleman and lady whom she missed from her circle, 'They have been at our house every Wednesday evening for twenty years.' It seems to me that this frequency of meeting is the great secret of agreeable society. ”

“ In making formal visits, and subsequent calls after the first formal visit has been made, a married woman need leave only one of her husband’s cards with her own; and in making a call in acknowledgment of an invitation to an entertainment to which she alone was invited,—such as a woman’s luncheon,—she should leave only one of her own. ”

“ If a gentleman finds upon his card the name of a lady with whom he is unacquainted, he requests the host to present him immediately after he has spoken with the hostess, also to any members of the family with whom he is not acquainted.
INTRODUCTIONS.
All the guests should secure introductions to the one for whom the dinner is given. If two persons, unknown to each other, find themselves placed side by side at a table, they may enter into conversation without an introduction. ”

“ At close of day all go home. After dinner another toilette, and out for the evening. Every house has its particular reception-night. And a pure and simple reception indeed it is, without play, without music, without conversation ”

“ I see a solemn conference of deep import between a stroke and a coach. I see a neat, clean-limbed young man go airily up to a well-earned tea, without, I hope, a care, or an anxiety in his mind, expecting and intending to spend an agreeable evening. ”

“ Several days before the evening's entertainment the hostess should give her friend a list of the expected guests, with a few notes concerning their traits of character, environment, etc., and these suggestions, in addition to the knowledge of the persons which she possesses, and her own inventiveness, will give her an excellent opportunity apparently to look back in the past, and forward to the future—especially if she happen to discover that any engaged couples are to be present. ”

“ The guests should include an equal number of people, and if a man invites, the chaperon's name is mentioned in the invitation. The theatre party is followed by a supper, which is of course stated in the note, or it may succeed an informal dinner. ”

“ A curious recognition between meeting and passing is bewildering and yet what is it that makes the preparation, it is that, it is the recreation and the law and the spectacle of the electric moon-light and the stars. ”

“ My two American friends and I arrived at the party at about nine o'clock. The other guests were all present. As we entered the host and hostess were introducing each one in turn to the others who were lined up in a row at one end of the room. It is the custom to address a man by prefixing his vocation to his name, and this manner of designating each one was used during the introductions. ”

“ The coyness of a first meeting by chance, her gradual warming into passion, their separation, followed by her tears and dejection the hope of meeting soon again and, finally, the intoxication of being held once more in his arms—all are delineated with a fidelity and detail surprising to whatever of judgment the masculine spectator may have the good fortune to retain. ”

“ On some we are never long without the sound of wheels, and folk pass us by so thickly that we lose the sense of their number. But on others, about little-frequented districts, a meeting is an affair of moment; we have the sight far off of some one coming towards us, the growing definiteness of the person, and then the brief passage and salutation, and the road left empty in front of us for perhaps a great while to come. ”

“ In the New York papers we meet with the verb ‘to concertize,’ which may possibly mean to give a succession of concerts. We remember hearing that process once called ‘going about matinéeing!’ And there is quite as good authority for the one as for the other of these expressions. Another unintelligible phrase, drawn from the same source, is ‘an emergent meeting.’ This word is never used, in modern English, in a concrete sense. We may say an emergent occasion or emergent doubts, but not an emergent candidate or an emergent character. ”

“ A public speaker said to me this last week, "I may come with my address to a weekday meeting, but it all depends upon the spirit and mood of the meeting; it is one thing in one place, and another in another;" and if you have ever tried to speak in a Church or at a meeting you will have found it to be so. There may be a dozen men present in that meeting whose spirit is all that you may want, but they cannot make the result ”

“ This is accepted and approved by all in this country, for in this way you are privileged to invite, at a day’s notice, any number of guests; for one sees it is to meet a stranger, temporarily here; a sufficient reason for so short a notice to a large dinner; besides which you have it in your power to pay the stranger or strangers a compliment in a pointed way, by making them or him the honored guest of that dinner. ”

“ In a morning call or visit of ceremony, the gentleman takes his hat and cane, if he carries one, into the room. The lady does not take off her bonnet and shawl. In attending ladies who are making morning calls, a gentleman assists them up the steps, rings the bell, follows them into the room, and waits till they have finished their salutations, unless he has a part to perform in presenting them. Ladies should always be the first to rise in terminating a visa, and when they have made their adieux their cavaliers repeat the ceremony, and follow them out. ”

“ Having once more impressed secrecy on my attendants, and bidding them give admission to no one, [Pg 158] I led my young guest into an inner reception room. There, in a few concise sentences, he told me his story. ”

“ I am sorry that we have not more time to spend with you, but having a conference to attend at Manti, Sanpete, on next Saturday and Sunday, which is quite a long way from here, and in the meantime having business to attend to at home, we shall be obliged, in order to make connections with the train at Logan, to leave this place at the close of this meeting. ”

“ On entering at a reception, or afternoon tea, one leaves a card in the salver offered by the butler or attendant who opens the door, or upon the hall table, as a reminder to the hostess, who can hardly be expected to remember, if entertaining a large number, every one who has been there. ”

“ But every coming hour will bring relief. You will cease to look back to the bitter parting, and you will look forward to the happy meeting. And that meeting may be as soon as you please, sir, you know. There is nothing on earth to prevent or even delay your visit to Lady Vincent as soon after she gets settled at home, as you like. ”

“ A lady is not required to rise to receive a gentleman, nor to accompany him to the door. When your visitor retires, ring the bell for the servant. You may then accompany your guest as far towards the door as the circumstances of your friendship seem to demand. Request the servant, during the visits of guests, to attend to the door the moment the bell rings. When you introduce a person, pronounce the name distinctly, and say whatever you can to make the introduction agreeable. ”

“ Taft Hotel and homes of the Patronesses
REQUESTING AN INVITATION
When one is invited to an entertainment and finds it impossible to attend without a visiting guest or relative, an invitation may be requested. But a great deal of tact and good judgment must be exerted. ”

“ Our cards of invitation were decorated, some with hour-glasses, others with clocks or watches, and all stating the day the receiver was to represent. Example: Costume, May Day. Those who didn't understand asked me what was meant; others again told each other, and some did not need any information, as the invitation was called 'A Charles Lamb [Pg 505] Party.' From what I have read, you will understand that no masks were worn.
"Oh, it was so unique and so pretty, and mamma and I had lots of fun selecting the days for each guest! ”