Wear and tear

“ When I go raving at night, weeping by day, with a knife in my heart, tears that scald my eyes! When with these pains to endure, these perils to skirt, heights to fly, you will speak, touch me, breathe upon me, tempt me to greet you with kissing of the lips—ah, heaven and hell! it is over-much. ”

“ The blood will follow where the knife is driven, The flesh will quiver where the pincers tear, And sighs and cries by nature grow on pain. ”

“ And here before us—in the isolation of the figure, in the uncompromising sternness of the drapery, in the majestic agony of the face, the eyelids lowered in pain, the lips full and set in the effort of endurance and also in a protest as proud as it is despairing—there is expressed a universality of grief that sums up the sorrow of the modern world, as well as the eternal question of the why and to what end. ”

“ On gaining my master's store, I presented an appearance of wretchedness and woe, fitted to move any but a heart of stone. From the crown of my head to the sole of my feet, there were marks of blood. My hair was all clotted with dust and blood, and the back of my shirt was literally stiff with the same. ”

“ They will think that I went away in my mourning dress, which they will miss. If they describe me, they will describe a lady in deep mourning. If any one comes in pursuit, they will look for a young woman in black, and pass me by, because I shall wear gray and keep my vail down. ”

“ Every tear represents some in-dwelling sorrow preying upon the mind and destroying its peace. The tear comes forth to declare the inward struggle, and to plead a truce against further strife. How meet that the eye should be the seat of tears—where they cannot occur unobserved, but, blending with the beauty of the eye itself, must command attention and sympathy! ”

“ No tear dropped over that pillow; in such straits as these, the heart has no tears to give,—it drops only blood, bleeding itself away in silence. ”

“ Grief and wrong, to soft relief.
Speed the garment! It may chance,
Long hereafter, meet the glance,
Of Oenone; when her lord,
Now thy Paris, shall go tow'rd
Ida, at his last sad end,
Seeking her, his early friend,
Who alone can cure his ill,
Of all who love him, if she will.
It were fitting she should see
In that hour thine artistry,
And her husband's speechless corse
In the garment of remorse!
But take heed that in thy work
Naught unbeautiful may lurk.
Ah, how little signifies
Unto thee what fortunes rise,
What others fall! ”

“ They sat in gloomy and solitary places, stripped themselves of all external ornaments, put on a coarse black stuff by way of mourning, tore their hair, shaved their heads, rolled themselves in the dust and mire, sprinkled ashes on their heads, smote their breasts with their palms, tore their faces, and frequently cried out with a lamentable voice and drawling tone. ”

“ Meanwhile we weave upon his robes' array Embroideries of doubts and hopes and fears, The golden threads of laughter by the way, Grey threads of tears.
Careless sits Time of garment grey or gold, Although our passionate labours never cease Till weaving hands are weary and we grow old. ”

“ Lear, on his knees, bareheaded, with heavenward eye, quivering lip, and hands clasped together in agony, pronounced the terrible curse, and in his death realised all that can be imagined of human woe. ”

“ In deciding about trimmings and the width of crepe hems many a woman forgets her woe, for a time at least. Mourning wear is expensive, and to clothe a whole family in black totals no inconsiderable sum. ”

“ Yet I am not writing with ordinary ink, but with red blood that drips from my heart. All its wounds long scarred over have opened and it throbs and hurts, and now and then a tear falls on the paper. ”

“ And in these nations, it is not customary to act thusly. Rather, we do not tear a garment made of linen, which is “sweat clothing,” and not the uppermost coverall. But all other clothing, tear for the sake of his father and mother, and for other deaths, the top clothing under the coverall. ”

“ It was long since the poor woman had had anything pretty to wear—longer still since she had had anything supplied by tender and thoughtful care—and the tears that rose to her eyes at the sight, were tears that seemed to refresh and moisten a parched life and a thirsting heart. ”

“ The tears also which are shed upon these occasions, are received upon pieces of cloth, and offered as oblations to the dead: some of the younger people cut off their hair, and that is thrown under the bier with the other offerings. ”

“ The deepening chill drove many forth to take the garments of those who could no longer need them, that they might keep themselves alive. More than once I was startled from my unrest by some one turning back the coat skirt from my face, peering, half vampire-like, to my fancy, through the darkness to discover if it, too, were of the silent and unresisting; turning away more disconcerted at my living word than if a voice had spoken from the dead. ”

“ Piles of dresses and clothing of every kind lay heaped upon the floor, many of them torn, as though the harsh note produced by the mere act of tearing appealed to the passion for destruction which seemed to animate these fighting men. ”

“ He gave one hurried glance around on a scene he was never to forget—the luxurious boudoir, its hangings, its lights and flowers; the bridal costume, all torn into shreds: the crimson stain, spreading so slowly, so horribly; the beautiful dead face upraised to the light; the white breast, with its terrible wound; the quiet figure, the golden hair—and, with a moan of unutterable remorse, he turned away. ”

“ But when the sun came caressingly, inspiring gentle confidence, bathing the body in warm moisture, the tenacious hold was relaxed, then the disputed coat was thrown over his arm, and as the vista spread far away in golden light, the victim cast the garment by the wayside and the sun came off victor. Youth is despoiled of the garment of grief in this sort. Congenial warmth, the sunshine of friendliness, soon relax the mantle of woe, and the path that looks wintry and hard becomes a way of light and gayety. ”

“ And tinged with black the shadowy robe of night;
Save here and there a melancholy spark
Of flickering moonshine glimmered through the dark,
Cheerless and dim, as when upon a pall,
Through suffering tears, the looks of sorrow fall ”

“ The wound-dressers were generally in such haste, and the wounded men usually so helpless to assist in any way, and their shirts and trousers so rotten from the drenching rains in which they had been worn without change day or night, that the taking off of the clothing was literally what I call it—tearing, and the garment came off so rent as to be quite useless for further wear. ”

“ Wait till it will slip through as a pain is dying out, and if you have waited long enough and handled the head skillfully, the conditions will be just right at a certain moment to permit this without tearing the parts. There are some cases where a tear, and a good tear, is impossible to guard against. ”

“ It's I'll put cuffs of black on my red coat,
⁠and mourn till the day I die, my dear,
⁠and mourn till the day I die.
I will do more for my true love,
⁠than he will do for me
I'll cut my hair and roll me bare,
⁠and mourn till the day I die. ”

“ Seeing the world, God's careful sacrifice,
The victim of an infinite decay,
And thinking of the worm that never dies.
[Pg 34]
EPILOGUE
We are the silk which other limbs have worn,
Those passive folds admired and kept with care,
Till fashion changes, and, no longer rare,
The garment is dishonoured, swept with scorn
Into the massive wardrobe of the night,
Where neither hands shall fondle preciously
Nor eyes shall gaze on us in charity—
The wasted fabric of an old delight. ”

“ Now, I will bestow on thee, from my own body, a garment that shall be invisible to men, but perceptible to thee, because it will preserve from cold both thy soul and thy body, until the day in which I will clothe thee with honor and glory before the saints and angels. "And immediately he drew from the wound of his adorable Heart a vestment tinged with the purple hue of his precious blood and beaming with light. ”

“ If such be our necessary fate, let us accept it with a harmonized mind, not entertaining fear nor yielding to sadness. Why should we shudder or grieve? Every time we slumber, we try on the dress which, when we die, we shall wear easily forever. ”

“ In our set I used to meet with weeping men, but their tears were like a fire from which even wild beasts run away. From such manly tears the face became aged, while the eyes beamed with youth, like an avalanche thrown out with force from the burning heart of the earth. ”

“ The blood which women in the paroxysms of grief drew from their bodies, and the tears which flowed from their eyes, were received on pieces of cloth, which were then thrown upon or under the bier as oblations to the dead. ”

“ Travel-stained, covered with dust, and with spots of dried blood, some showing fresh and bleeding wounds—souvenirs of yesterday's rough sport—our clothing torn and disarranged, we were indeed objects of pity, calculated to excite commiseration in the breasts of any others than the brutal and sanguinary wretches who were about to put us to a terrible death. ”

“ And that any one should measure the depth of his loss by the width of a hem or a veil, or the fashion of a hat, or the material of a garment, seems to him too monstrous an absurdity for credence. And when he hears the common expression that such a person is "in half mourning" it is so utterly repulsive to him, that he almost feels that he should honor the dead more by a total breach of the custom, than by its observance. ”

“ Today you wear one that satisfies the demands of both body and soul. To-morrow some specially sad or joyous event occurs, and the soul requires a different garment—more sombre or more gay according to the nature of the event, and thus corresponding more truly with your mental state. Every one perceives how inappropriate a ball-room dress would be at a funeral,—so inappropriate, indeed, that our best feelings would be disturbed if not shocked by such unfitness. And why? Clearly because there are certain wants of the soul as well as of the body which garments are required to satisfy. ”

“ Then again we cannot grieve as the conventions would have us grieve--in strange dress; the very fact of wearing crepe and black gloves alienates us from our real selves; we are no longer ourselves, we are mummers engaged in the performance of a masque. ”

“ The advocates for mourning plead the veiling of the heavens in black at the death of Christ; and the universality and continuance of the custom, in all ages, all countries, and all faiths. I am aware that the subject is one in which strangers cannot intermeddle; the question when it arises must be settled by every heart individually. But, at least, if mourning garments are to be worn, let us not defeat every argument in their favor by fashioning them of the richest stuffs, and in the most stylish manner. ”

“ Does the open wound in another's breast soften the pain of the gaping wound in our own? Or does the blood which is welling from another man's side stanch that which is pouring from our own? Does the general anguish of our fellow-creatures lessen our own private and particular anguish? No, no, each suffers on his own account, each struggles [Pg 268] with his own grief, each sheds his own tears. ”

“ When fury and anger sweep us in their red flame, and gentle, familiar aspects of nature take on the hue of blood, we clench our fists until the nails are driven deep into the flesh. In the first shock of the agony of bereavement, or during those cruel dragging hours when we are adjusting ourselves to living with our hearts torn asunder, we clasp our hands in frenzy. ”

“ Why do you always wear mourning?
MASHA. I dress in black to match my life. I am unhappy. ”

“ Men, women, and children, evince their grief by tearing the hair, scarifying the temples with the nails, and casting themselves sobbing and screaming upon the ground—the good qualities of the deceased being extolled the while. ”

“ If our causes of tears were one and all to be murdered, what would the state of things become? Shed tears, but never blood; for blood is not yours to shed. And even if you should believe your own blood to be your own, know that it is not so, that your blood does not belong to you, but to Someone Else. ”

“ They were large, luminous, and earnest in their gaze, though dimmed by the grief of years. Tears were in them, and the look which they threw toward him was full of agony and earnest supplication. That emaciated face, that snow-white hair, that brow marked by the lines of suffering, that slight figure with its sombre vestments, all formed a sight which would have impressed any man. ”

“ But I find there's still a comfort in drying others' tears.
Why should I cloud my brow? why yield to dark despair?
All—all men are my brethren, and this fruitful earth is fair,
For I know, when heaven hath wounded and probed the bleeding breast,
Its richest, healing balm is, in making others bless'd. ”

“ Tired out with her ceaseless pacing to and fro over the carpet, her nerve gave way, and for almost the first time in her life she burst into tears, bitter, hysterical, cruel tears, the tears which disfigure and age the woman who sheds them. ”

“ She presented an harmonious combination of shades of gray, a sort of semi-mourning, full of graceful renunciation,—the garments of a woman who holds to life only through a few natural ties,—her child, for instance,—but who is weary of life. ”

“ Come wipe away thy tears, and shew thy father
A cheerful countenance. See, the tie-knot here
Is off—this hair must not hang so dishevell'd.
Come, dearest! dry thy tears up. They deform
Thy gentle eye—well now—what was I saying? ”

“ Chapter VI. MOURNING.
"The air is full of farewells to the dying
And mourning for the dead."—Longfellow.
ANCIENT JEWISH FUNERAL PROCESSION.
LAYING OUT AND MOURNING THE DEAD.
The signs of mourning in ancient times were by no means confined to the apparel. Fasting, laceration of the flesh, throwing dust on the head, and shaving the hair, were outward and visible signs of grief, accompanied by piercing cries of the most heartrending description. It was also customary to abstain from ornaments, to rend the clothing, and to put on filthy garments of sackcloth. ”