Daughter-in-law

“ If these laws are not binding, there is no other Scriptural ground for prohibiting marriage with an aunt or daughter-in-law, step-daughter or granddaughter, or even the nearest relations; for a sense of propriety, or inward sense of right is no proof to another person who may choose to deny it. ”

“ When, however, the mother-in-law becomes a widow, she has to take a secondary place, if her daughter-in-law is at all of an age to manage her own affairs. Then the old lady often prefers to leave her son’s house, and to go and live with a married daughter, and the men are generally very good in taking in their mothers-in-law. ”

“ But armed as she is with the unlimited authority with which custom has invested parents, the mother-in-law has not always the best of it in the tussle with her daughter-in-law. She may be{202} good-natured and submit to the other as readily as she has submitted all her life to her husband ”

“ Consequently, if a man wished to adopt his son-in-law, he ought first to emancipate his daughter: and if he wished to adopt his daughter-in-law, he ought first to emancipate his son.
3 A man may not marry his brother's or his sister's daughter, or even his or her granddaughter, though she is in the fourth degree; for when we may not marry a person's daughter, we may not marry the granddaughter either. But there seems to be no obstacle to a man's marrying the daughter of a woman whom his father has adopted, for she is no relation of his by either natural or civil law. ”

“ Consanguinity and Affinity.—The law considers it against public policy and morality, and contrary to the well-being of the parties, that persons closely related by blood or marriage should intermarry. Marriages are therefore prohibited between all ascendants and descendants, legitimate or illegitimate.
[Pg 241] A man is also prohibited from marrying his stepmother, wife’s mother, stepdaughter, daughter-in-law, son’s daughter-in-law, daughter’s daughter-in-law, stepson’s daughter, stepdaughter’s daughter, niece by blood, niece by affinity, or nephew’s wife. ”

“ She dwelt only on the fact that in her daughter-in-law's household she was now only entitled to food and raiment, and would have to live henceforth as one known by the neighbours to be dependent on her daughter-in-law. ”

“ The only question is, Who is to prefer the complaint, since the unmarried daughter stands under the authority of her parents, who are her legal guardians, and who will not be likely to prefer complaint against themselves? The solution of this difficulty we shall find when we come to see that the daughter escapes that parental authority the moment she marries. Hence, the law can very properly provide that a daughter shall become independent the moment her parents propose marriage to her, and shall, therefore, be full master of her own rights in such case. ”

“ The rule is that the eldest son continues to live under the parental roof after his marriage. Along with her name and residence the bride transfers her allegiance absolutely to the husband's family. Particular stress is laid upon her duty to her husband's mother.
[pg 94] This fact is recognized in a textbook issued by the Imperial Department of Education for use in the higher girls' schools, which says:
Absence of harmony is often witnessed between a husband's mother and her daughter-in-law, and this is often traceable to the latter's disobedience and undutifulness. ”

“ It sometimes happens that the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law are suited to each other and live pleasantly together; but this presumes that both entertain exalted views of duty and are blessed with forbearing natures and yielding dispositions. ”

“ My dear daughter cannot be allowed to grow up in the lap of such a mother. I am sure that the lady whose husband I have the honour to be will not prefer the delights of a criminal attachment to the sweet duties of motherhood—but, if she should, I shall bring an action in due form, having an abundance of witnesses who can prove the preliminary information required by law, and I shall claim my daughter, since the law will place her in my paternal care as soon as she is three years old. ”

“ Is it fit that the harlot should again become my brother's wife? You properly sanctioned the writing of divorcement; therefore to the law let her appeal. And if, in violation of justice, you act thus, be assured, that I will no longer be accounted your daughter." The second sister, who was called Truth, then said, "My father, she has spoken truly. You have adjudged this woman an adultress: if you permit her to return, you destroy the very essence of truth, and therefore I too, will no more fulfil the offices of a daughter." ”

“ She may be made to consent to live apart from the young couple if her husband is still living, or to content herself with the use of a single room in their house if she is a widow; and sometimes she becomes little better than an upper servant. A daughter-in-law who can make her a willing slave, exercises as great an influence over her husband and can persuade him to acquiesce in any proposal that she may make with respect to his mother. ”

“ No matter whether her family be rich or poor, when a woman is performing her duties in her husband's house, she must look upon her husband's parents as her own. If her honoured father-in-law or mother-in-law fall ill, her being able to plait flowers and paint pictures and make tea will be of no use in the sick-room. To shampoo her parents-in-law, and nurse them affectionately, without employing either shampooer or servant-maid, is the right path of a daughter-in-law. ”

“ Besides, when a daughter is married, not only is it necessary to provide her with a suitable dowry and trousseau, but she passes over to the house of her husband, there to adopt his family name in preference to her own, and contract new obligations to a father- and mother-in-law she may only have seen once or twice in her life, more binding in their stringency than those to the father and mother she has left behind. ”

“ No father can compel his daughter to marry against her will; and if there is any attempt to force her in the matter, she is entitled to claim the protection of a magistrate, who is empowered by law to protect her from such oppression. If the parents are insistent, the magistrate may take the girl from her father's house and act as her guardian until the time of her majority, when she is free to marry according to her own fancy. ”

“ To arrive at certainty in the matter, I telegraphed to my father-in-law. This morning he arrived here with my mother-in-law. When they examined the girl they found a birth-mark on the left upper arm which convinced the mother that the girl was her daughter.
For you to marry her, under these circumstances, would confuse relationship. On this account and also as I feel it my duty to save you from this alliance so embarrassing to yourself at your age, I finally consented to marry the girl myself. Therefore please to come quickly with all the needful things. ”

“ When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter — that’s something. ”

“ It is evident that already at this period a young married woman dreaded the tyranny of a mother-in-law, who indeed exercised a far greater authority over her than even her own mother. The mother-in-law was alone privileged to accompany the young married woman in society. ”

“ In case of divorce on account of adultery in the husband, the innocent wife is held to possess no right to children or property, unless by special decree of the court. But in no State of the Union has the wife the right to her own person, or to any part of the joint earnings of the co-partnership during the life of her husband. In some States women may enter the law schools and practice in the courts ”

“ Every married man whose wife has sisters has an interest in that condition of society which is produced by the state of law which makes his wife's sister his "sister-in-law." Our popular expression exactly hits the principle. The law makes the wife's sister his sister, and if you alter the law the wife's sister for domestic purpose will be his sister no longer. Do you want prohibitory laws against marriage without any degrees of relationship, or do you not? ”

“ The essence of marriage which is considered as a civil contract is the free consent of both parties.
Impediments.—The son must not marry his mother or stepmother, or the sister of his father or mother, or the widow of his uncle. The brother must not marry his sister or half-sister, or the daughter of his brother or half-brother, or of his sister or half-sister. The father must not marry his daughter or granddaughter, or the widow of his son. No man shall marry the daughter of his wife, or the daughter of the son or daughter of his wife ”

“ That the guardianship of the husband shall cease, and the married woman have an equal right of action in all legal matters, even against her husband; that she shall have the right to plead in courts of law and to carry on business independently. ”

“ It is an assumed thing, almost universally, that it is a positive good for the Sister-in-law to have the charge of the children, to be domesticated with them, to be all to them that any mother's substitute can be. Now, in our rank of life, I believe that good is more likely to be obtained by having the law as it is. Many a woman of marriageable age would feel more free to go and live with the widower, if the thought of a future union was an excluded thing from both minds. ”

“ She has to obey her father-in-law, and during the first days of her married life is not allowed to speak to her husband’s parents or any of the family who are older than herself until her father-in-law gives her permission. ”

“ She is viewed by them, as far as her parents are concerned, merely as an object to be ‘given away,’ and that as soon as possible. She is declared by them to be marriageable, even in her infancy, to a person of any age; and of course without her own choice or intelligent consent.... According to the letter of the law, the parents are not to sell their daughters, but they may receive valuable gifts, the equivalent of a price, on her behalf. ”

“ Frequently, however, a man is denied the privilege of taking his step-mother or his mother-in-law to wife, [1460] and in every state of the group, expressly or by implication, [1461] marriage between aunts and nephews, or uncles and nieces, is forbidden. ”

“ The husband's interest in the life of the child his wife is carrying does not permit the State to empower him with this troubling degree of authority over his wife. The contrary view leads to consequences reminiscent of the common law. ”

“ The wife is bound to live with the husband wherever he may fix his residence.
A wife cannot, without her husband’s permission, go to law, make any contract, or acquire goods, nor alienate or pledge goods without such permission. The wife may, of course, in certain cases, such as divorce, acquire judicial authorization for prosecuting or defending a suit in the courts. ”

“ And he is liable for her debts contracted during marriage, if permitted by him, or if for necessaries which he neglected to provide.
The wife is not liable for her husband's debts contracted at any time.
The law casts the custody of the minor children upon the father and not upon the mother. But if this custody is abused, it is by the Court to the mother.
The father may appoint a guardian for his infant children. ”

“ The present English law gives to the widow one-third of the property, and half the guardianship of the children. In case of divorce, the children under sixteen belong to the mother, unless she is notoriously unfit to have them. ”

“ People talk of maternal love, and of woman's sphere, of her duty in the home, of her work for her babes, but the law has no reverence for the tie between mother and child, and ignores every claim of the mother who is also a. wife. The unmarried mother is far better off; she has an absolute right to the custody of her own children; none can step in and deprive her of her little ones, for the law respects the maternal tie when no marriage ceremony has "legitimated" it. ”

“ Certain authorities insist that the consent of parents must always be obtained before the daughter is asked to give herself in marriage. While there is nothing improper or wrong in such a course, still, in this country, with our social customs, it is deemed best in most cases not to be too strict in this regard. ”

“ Mothers have the right (and widows durante viduitate) to the custody of their sons until they attain the age of seven years, and of their daughters until they attain the age of puberty.
9. The mother's right is forfeited by marrying a stranger, but reverts on her again becoming a widow.
10. The paternal relations succeed to the right of guardianship, for the purposes of education and marriage, in proportion to the proximity of their claims to inherit the estate of the minor. ”

“ The feminine privilege of seduction extends also to the civil Courts. No civil action lies against any woman of full age for the seduction of a minor, not even if her doings be a device to entrap him by threats of scandal into marriage, and the attainment of title and fortune by her inducements to lead him astray. ”

“ And I found that by these same laws—when a man in the lifetime of his wife marries another woman, the said woman being in ignorance of the existence of the said wife, shall be held guiltless by the law, and her child or children, if she have any by the said marriage, shall be the legitimate offspring of the mother, legally entitled to bear her name and inherit her estates. ”

“ In practice, too, the wise provisions of the law for dowries and the separate maintenance of a wife have been neglected, while divorce is much discountenanced and the claims of an ill-used or insufficiently-cherished wife to a decree are ignored or even forgotten. Child-marriage has become the rule, and consent to a life-long bond under a contract which has come to be regarded almost as inviolable, is only too often given on behalf of the young girl by a relation indifferent to all except wealth and position. ”