Wedding ceremony

“ Nothing is to me more barbarous than this system of carrying off a young female as soon as the wedding ceremony is over,—a ceremony which ought to consecrate the right and duty to employ still more every tenderness of love and effort to render mutual affection still stronger and more endearing. ”

“ The ceremony itself is simple and impressive. Friends and relatives generally are not present. The bride and groom are there, of course; besides these are the go-betweens of the couple, and a young girl, whose duty it is to take the cup of saké, or native wine of Japan, and press it successively to the lips of the contracting parties, emblematic of the coming joys and sorrows of their common married life. The wedding guests, who have been waiting in the next room, now appear with their congratulations, and merriment and feasting follow. ”

“ There was scarcely time to think of the pain of the coming partings from brother, uncles, and other relatives; pain it would be, yet not to be compared with that of many a young bride who must leave father, mother, home, and more than one loved brother and sister.
The wedding was a pronounced success; brides and bridesmaids looking their best—groom and groomsmen also—and each going through his or her part of the ceremony in an altogether creditable manner. ”

“ The next few days seemed taken up by a whirl of pleasurable excitement—introductions to new friends, soon to become relatives, the reception of many beautiful presents, the rehearsals of those who were to take part in the ceremony, the trimming of the house with flowers, the trying on of wedding finery, and selecting of flowers—orange blossoms—for the adornment of the brides. ”

“ A wedding in very best taste for a widow would be a ceremony in a small church or chapel, a few flowers or palms in the chancel the only decoration, and two to four ushers. There are no ribboned-off seats, as only very intimate friends are asked. The bride wears an afternoon street dress and hat. Her dress for a church ceremony should be more conventional than if she were married at home, where she could wear a semi-evening gown and substitute a headdress for a hat. She could even wear a veil if it is colored and does not suggest the bridal white one. ”

“ A bridegroom is always expected to furnish the bouquets that the bride, bridesmaids, and all the bride’s attendants carry at the wedding. He should learn from the bride the flowers she wishes, and should order them several days before the wedding, so that they may be ready at the bride’s house when the bridesmaids meet there to go together to the church or to the place where the ceremony is held. ”

“ On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding night, during which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first time the terrible experience of sex. ”

“ On the day of the wedding the bride and groom do not see each other until they meet in church. After the ceremony the whole party goes to the house of the bride's parents, where a reception is held in honor of the event. When it is over, the young couple go to their own home, if they have one ”

“ This constitutes the marriage ceremony proper, but much further bowing has to be gone through by both the parties to each of the people present, who, accompanying their wedding-gifts of birds and fish with pretty compliments, come forward, one by one, to the platform and drink the health, happiness and joy of the wedded pair. It is the duty of the bride to remain perfectly mute and apparently unconcerned at all the pretty speeches addressed to her by the bridegroom and his friends until the nuptial-chamber is entered later in the evening. ”

“ When the ceremony is over the clergyman congratulates the couple and withdraws, and they, turning, face their friends, who then come to wish them happiness.
Whether the wedding take place in the home or at the church, the bridal pageant has only one object in view,—it is wholly for the sake [203] of the bridegroom. Every woman desires to come to her husband in all the glory of her womanhood and of her social position. By all custom the bridegroom does not see his bride upon the wedding day until she approaches him as he stands at the altar. ”

“ Elaborate and gay as are the festivities of betrothal, the celebrations of marriage are so much more so that one is inclined to look upon the essential religious ceremony as a pretext for the merry-making.9 The interval of a month which ordinarily intervenes between engagement and marriage is devoted to making the necessary preparations for the wedding. The bridegroom must get ready the promised ornaments, a white wedding-dress for his bride, a fine veil to cover her face, and a pair of shoes, a rather strange combination of gifts. ”

“ It is a pleasant part of weddings everywhere that the faithful domestics who have loved the bride from childhood are expected to assist by their presence at the ceremony, each wearing a wedding favor made by the fair hand of the bride herself. ”

“ The wedding decorations are family property, and descend from mother to daughter, and both bride and bridegroom are covered with flowers, jewels, and gay embroidery. The bride sits in state and receives the congratulatory visits of her relatives and friends, and after the actual ceremony is over, the newly-married couple sit on a seat raised above the guests, and the sirih and betel-nut are largely chewed. There are "floral decorations," music, and feasting; all strangers are made welcome ”

“ Now she is dressing for the marriage ceremony. A friend gives her a house wedding. The company of guests will be restricted, everything will be exquisite, there will be youth and beauty and distinction. There will be no love. She marries as one who steps through a beautiful arch further along one's path. ”

“ Only close relatives and friends should be invited to the home wedding. The bridegroom does not enter the home of the bride until a half hour before the ceremony begins, and when he does arrive, he and his best man do not mingle with the other guests but retire to an adjoining room provided for them. ”

“ The ceremony of the marriage next ensued; but as there was nothing peculiar about it (except that it took place in the bridegroom's house, and not at the bride's former home, which was out of the parson's reach) ; and as it was, besides, the dullest part of that day's exercise, I shall not say much about it, only that every thing was done decently and in order. But I have run on so long with this Number, that I fear I must postpone the foot-race, the dinner discourse, and final winding up of the wedding, till a future opportunity. ”

“ The wedding is preceded by a betrothal, which ceremony offers an occasion for the members of both families to meet one another; and it not unfrequently happens that the future couple then learn for the first time the wishes of their parents respecting their union. If perchance the bridegroom elect is not satisfied with the choice, the young woman returns home again. ”

“ After the Wedding In the north of England, after the marriage service was over, the bride on leaving the church had to jump or be lifted over the parting-stool, or petting-stone at the churchyard gate, after which ceremony money was distributed by the bridegroom. In n.Devon this custom takes the form of chaining the bride. Young men stretch twisted bands of hay, or pieces of rope decorated with ribbons and flowers, across the gateway. ”

“ The best man calls for him and takes him to the church. They should time their movements so as to arrive at least five minutes before the hour appointed for the ceremony. The same precaution should be observed if it is a house wedding.
At day weddings afternoon dress is de rigueur for bridegroom, best man, ushers, and all male guests. The bridegroom, best man, and ushers should be dressed alike in frock coats and waistcoats to match, trousers of dark gray striped, patent-leather shoes, gray suede gloves, white or pearl-colored scarfs, and top hats. ”

“ The wedding ceremonies are simple. All the relations send presents of furniture, clothes, or jewels, which are the property of the wife in case of her husband’s death. Sometimes, when the marriage contracts are signed, a solemn promise is exacted from the man that he will never marry again during the lifetime of his wife. The bridal ceremony is performed by an iman or priest, who joins the hands of the parties, and recites certain prayers from the Koran. It sometimes takes place at the bridegroom’s house, but more generally at a mosque. ”

“ The order of the wedding procession in France and on the Continent differs vastly from that in England and America. There are neither ushers nor a best man. If there are bridesmaids the groomsmen accompany them. The bride enters on the arm of her father preceded by the attendants, and the bridegroom [Pg 192] follows, escorting his future mother-in-law. A long procession of relatives brings up the rear. The men, no matter at what time of the day the ceremony might take place—and evening weddings are unknown—are in formal evening dress. ”

“ In view of the complicated arrangements made necessary for the proper carrying out of a fashionable church wedding, and in consideration of the large number of people involved in the ceremony and the necessity of each one being in the right place at the right moment, in order to prevent confusion, it will be seen that some preparation is necessary before all can act in concert. ”

“ They receive fees, and generous ones often, for performing the marriage-ceremony, which is very unnecessary in comparison; a wedding being a joyful, happy, inspiriting occasion, with its bright faces, sweet flowers, and happy congratulations of friends ”

“ The wedding was celebrated in the early days of May, 1868. A wedding which embraced three separate ceremonies,—first the civil service in the mairie, then a forenoon wedding according to the Catholic rite in the Tuileries, in the presence of the Emperor and Empress, and at nine o’clock that same evening in the Greek church according to the Orthodox rite. I participated in this last ceremony as first bridesmaid. My function consisted in holding a crown over the bride’s head during the whole marriage service. An illustrious company filled the brightly lighted, flower-decorated chapel. ”

“ The real festivities of a wedding start about three days before the ceremony, with the arrival of the “wedding party,” in which party the most responsible position is that of best man. Let us suppose that you are to be the best man at the Roe-Doe nuptials. ”

“ WEDDING, n. A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable. ”

“ At an evening wedding the gloves are white kid. The gloves are not removed during the ceremony.
JEWELRY. They wear the scarf-pins or cuff- buttons given to them by the groom.
NECKTIES. At a morning or afternoon wedding the neckties are usually of some delicate color. At an evening wedding the neckties are white, as is customary with evening dress.
WEDDING BREAKFAST. The ushers pair off with the bridesmaids, and are usually seated at a table assigned to them.
WEDDING RECEPTIONS. The ushers, should introduce the guests to the groom and bride, calling the latter "Mr. and Mrs. ”

“ In our own civil-marriage ceremonies, where the dualism does not usually appear, the responses of the parties, the "Yes," "I do," or "I will," are nothing more than the survival of the ancient private betrothal, now recognized by law as the only essential parts of the nuptial ceremony; while the wedding ring is merely a duplicate of the betrothal or engagement ring, both being the survival of the arrha and, therefore, of the ancient purchase price of the bride. ”

“ The bridegroom was mounted on horseback, tricked out in the dress of a harlequin, with a crowd on horses and on foot, going before and following after, waving flags, beating drums, and making all manner of noises, to testify their joy; while the bride, who was commonly a mere child, was borne in a palanquin, covered with ribbons and trinkets and jewelry, looking, as she sat upright in her doll's house, much more as if she were a piece of frosted cake being carried to the wedding, than a living piece of flesh and blood that had any part therein. ”

“ When the day set apart for the solemnization of the marriage ceremony, has arrived, the bridegroom, and his wife, and also the bride, together with their relatives, and such other guests as may be invited, assemble at the place which they have appointed. ”

“ The beginning of the wedding march should sound just as the usher returns to the head of the aisle. To repeat: No other person should be seated after the mother of the bride. Guests who arrive later must stand in the vestibule or go into the gallery.
The sound of the music is also the cue for the clergyman to enter the chancel, followed by the groom and his best man. The two latter wear gloves but have left their hats and sticks in the vestry-room. ”

“ Beautiful indeed is the celebration of the golden wedding. With her children and grandchildren and friends grouped around her, with her husband at her side, doing her every honor he might pay a newly-won bride, the bride of fifty years can be naught but inexpressibly happy—though memories of lost youth rise constantly to haunt her. It is glorious—this reaching fifty years of married life—and any couple may well be proud to commemorate its occasion. ”