First wife

“ It is, you know much the best for the first wife to look out for some girl who will look up to her and respect her, but not love her husband too much, and then they are likely to get on well together. If the first wife selects the other wives, it has the effect of showing them that the husband thinks much of her judgment and is willing to abide by it, and that they will have to do the same. ”

“ In short, he learned by bitter experience the difference between a true, loving, devoted woman, whose sweetest smiles and gentlest words were ever for him, and a mere thing of fashion and convention called a wife, but no more a real wife than the first eye-winking doll in a shop-window. ”

“ In a general sense, the wives get along agreeably when they number from two to six. The first wife is mistress of those who come after her. Under the king's ruling, putting to death a favorite wife by the others occurred from time to time ”

“ Being the first wife, while in the heyday of life and youth having her husband to herself, in obedience to the law of God she sacrificed her own feelings at the shrine of duty, and in compliance with the laws of celestial marriage was willing that others should also share the affections of her husband. ”

“ The first wife, as among polygamists generally, is the wife,THE WIFE. and assumes the husband’s name and title. Her “plurality”-partners are called sisters—such as Sister Anne or Sister Blanche—and are the aunts of her children. The first wife is married for time, the others are sealed for eternity. Hence, according to the Mormons, arose the Gentile calumny concerning spiritual wifedom, which they distinctly deny. ”

“ When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs." ”

“ The day of her wedding has come, though she herself knows little of what it all means, and timidly assents to what her father in his unquestioned authority has done. She is brought to the man whom the parent has chosen from his own caste. They look upon each other for the first time, and the little girl scarcely sees him now for her timidity. The ceremony is over, and the husband returns to his own home. For the child wife must be taught the duties of housewifery. ”

“ REALITIES OF POLYGAMIC LIFE—ORSON PRATT: THE STORY OF HIS YOUNG ENGLISH WIFE.
The position of the plural wives—second, third, fourth, or twentieth, it matters not—is but a mockery, after all; and in many respects they are more to be pitied than the first wives. The first wives have known, if only for a little while, a husband’s love and care; but that has never been felt by the second wives. They are, in fact, in many respects little better than slaves ”

“ She should know that the first labors of wives over thirty are nearly twice as fatal as those between twenty and twenty-five. Undoubtedly nature points to the period between the [Pg 52] twentieth and twenty-fifth year as the fittest one for marriage in the woman. ”

“ These and similar utterances you may very well hold over your wife.” [510]
In 1542 Wicel, in his Postils, speaking of the preachers, says: “The words of St. Paul, ‘Art thou loosed from a wife, seek not a wife,’ 1 Cor. vii. 27, have a very unevangelical sound on the lips of these Evangelists. How then must it be? Quick, take a wife or a husband; whether you be young or old, make haste; should one die, don’t delay to take another. Celebrate the wedding, if it turns out ill, then let the maid come! Divorce this one and take in marriage that one, whether the first be living or dead! ”

“ When she has thus obtained a wife for her husband, she carries her home, puts her to bed with her husband, where, having left her, she feasts with the bride's relations. There the children of the first marriage are produced, and the men of the bride's family put each their hands upon these children's heads, and afterwards take the oath in the usual manner, to live and die with them as their own offspring. ”

“ But to avoid so base and curst a Life,
The only way's to Live without a wife.
FINIS.
THE Fifteen COMFORTS OF A Wanton Wife: OR, The FOOL Well Fitted. Dedicated to the London-Cuckolds.
LONDON:
Printed in the Year 1707
THE Fifteen COMFORTS OF A Wanton WIFE, &c.
The First Comfort. Unhappy Man! yoak'd with a wanton Wife,
The Wedding Day begins thy wretched Life.
Not all the Hurry of a Married State,
Can stint her Humour, make her more Sedate.
She'as all the Tricks the Devil can infuse
Into her Head; her Husband to abuse. ”

“ A husband and wife found themselves in love with each other for the first time after twenty-seven years of marriage. ”

“ The one with the bigger feet must be older. She is the wife for you."
But Fierce-lion said: "My son, what do you mean? Your mother went to heaven before your eyes. When so good a wife is gone, how could I think of another?"
But his son said: "Not so, Father. A householder's house is an empty place without a wife. Besides, you have surely heard what the poet says:
What fool would go into a house?
Tis a prisoner's abode,
Unless a buxom wife is there,
Looking down the road.'
So, Father, I beg you on my life to marry the second one, whom I have chosen for you." ”

“ In these moments she caught glimpses of herself, not as this draggled, pain-gripped, hungry creature, the prey of frenzied, torturing moods, but as a wife tenderly beloved, a happy mother of little children, the mistress of comforts that her husband had won for her, the appointed dispenser of blessings; a wife tenderly beloved, the true owner of her husband’s heart, a woman whose work it was to grow daily in strength and grace, that she might be more and more his helper, his lover. ”

“ How Wives Ought to Be Subject to Their Own Husbands, and Husbands Ought to Love Their Own Wives.
XXXIX. Ye wives, be subject to your own husbands, and have them in esteem, and serve them with fear and love, as holy Sarah honoured Abraham. For she could not endure to call him by his name, but called him lord, when she said, “My lord is old.” [17] In like manner, ye husbands, love your own wives as your own members, as partners in life, and fellow-helpers for the procreation of children. For says He, “Rejoice with the wife of thy youth. ”

“ A wife respected as competent house-wife, as counsellor, as triumphant mother, sharing her husband’s anxieties for the upkeep and shepherding of their little family, aware of his ambitions, if little understanding them, and happy in their joint observance of orthodoxy—that sheet-anchor of safety to her conservative soul. You must be careful how you dress this lady in your picture. Wind her garments about her in established fashion, even to the smallest fold; make the red mark of wifehood on her ample forehead ”

“ In such cases the two wives usually continue on the best of terms, which cannot be said of those instances where the second or third wife is introduced into the family by the husband, without the intervention of his wife. ”

“ We know her to be—for we have seen her in her own home—a devoted and efficient mother—alas that the two terms should not be synonymous—to her little children. Judging by her husband’s conduct to her, he finds her an eminently satisfactory wife. ”

“ My wife shall stand before me like the full moon, in her robes and ornaments, and I, of my pride and my disdain, will not look at her, till all who are present shall say to me, 'O my lord, thy wife and thy handmaid stands before thee: deign to look upon her! for standing is irksome to her.' And they will kiss the earth before me many times, whereupon I will lift my eyes and give one glance at her, then bend down my head again. Then they will carry her to the bride-chamber, and meanwhile I will rise and change my clothes for a richer suit. ”

“ Observing the breathless interest her manner evoked, or possibly realizing how nearly she had come to an unnecessary if not unwise self-betrayal, she suddenly smoothed her brow and, catching up a piece of embroidery from the table, sat down with it in her hand.
“A wife is naturally heart and soul with her husband,” she observed, with an assumption of composure which restored some sort of naturalness to the conversation. “You are a thinking person, I see, and what is more, a conscientious one. There are many, many such in town; many amongst the men as well as amongst the women. ”

“ I admitted. "Wiser women than I am have married. But it is equally possible that I might marry a man who would command me to preach; and in that case I want to be all ready to obey him."
At this another man, a bachelor, also began to draw from the Scriptures. "An elder," he quoted, "shall be the husband of one wife." And he demanded, triumphantly, "How is it possible for you to be the husband of a wife?" ”

“ Has that man a call to be a husband, who, when the rosy maiden he married is transformed by too early an introduction to the cares and trials of maternity, into a feeble, confirmed invalid, turns impatiently from the restless wife’s sick-room, to sun himself in the perfidious smile of one whom he would blush to name in that wife’s pure ears? ”

“ The motherly instinct is in the hearts of all true women, and sooner or later the true wife becomes a mother to her husband; she guides him, cares for him, teaches him, and catechises him all in the nicest way possible. ”

“ Keep some wood for the winter fire, and remember what is expected of a married woman. Her husband must be able to count upon her in his home; it is she to whom he must entrust the key of his heart; his honour, his household, his welfare are in the hands of his wife. ”

“ A light word between husbands and wives sometimes goes unexplained, and the rift between them widens through life. I know some houses where the wife enters at one door and the husband at another; where if they meet on the stairs, they do not salute each other. Under the same roof they have lived for years and have not spoken. ”

“ Thus ends the conduct of a virgin widow re-married.
A woman who is disliked by her husband, and annoyed and distressed by his other wives, should associate with the wife who is liked most by her husband, and who serves him more than the others, and should teach her all the arts with which she is acquainted. She should act as the nurse of her husband’s children, and having gained over his friends to her side, should through them make him acquainted of her devotion to him. ”

“ Yet, because this order of wives has existed, and been honoured and adored by our forefathers, and been exactly what the spirit and circumstances of the times required, we all agree in regarding the worthy mediæval wife as a model for all ages. There were ladies then, who were no more capable of administering the affairs of a domain than many a modern wife is of keeping her husband’s house. There were weak and spoiled women, who regularly aggravated all misfortunes by their grief and lamentations. ”

“ The remarriage of a widow is, as we have seen, regarded in the best circles with disapproval. The model wife—the wife to whom a commemorative arch is erected on the roadside near her home and whose name is handed down to posterity in the official chronicle of her district as a pattern of virtue—is as scrupulously faithful to her husband after his death as during his life. ”

“ Again, marriage with a wife's daughter or granddaughter is forbidden because "they are" thy near kinswomen, verse 17. What makes them "thy near kinswomen"? They are no blood relations. It is the oneness of husband and wife. "They shall be one flesh" (Gen. ii. 24) . ”

“ We love them and their children, so we are at their mercy. We have always tried to fulfil their plans for us, to be the kind of women who would please them. And see what has pleased them—see what they've praised in us! I don't mean working-women, but women whose husbands can afford to have the kind of wife they like. ”

“ I inquired coldly. “I've never been a wife. But I suppose I am a sort of widow.”
“If you weren't 'a sort of widow,' you couldn't cope with the profession I've—er—invented. You wouldn't be independent enough.”
“Invented? Then you don't mean marriage! And not even the stage! I warn you that once I solemnly promised grandmother never to go on the stage.” ”

“ Beyond was the good wife, true of touch and tender, happy amid her household cares, clean of heart and conscience, the helpmate and the buckler of her husband. And the children, strong and sturdy, trooping down the lane with the lowing herd, or, weary of simple sport, seeking, as truant birds do, the quiet of the old home nest. ”

“ But yet to say divorce was granted for relief of wives, rather than for husbands, is but weakly conjectured, and is manifest the extreme shift of a huddled exposition ... Palpably uxorious! Who can be ignorant that woman was created for man, and not man for woman, and that a husband may be injured as insufferably in marriage as a wife. ”

“ In my cynical mood this afternoon I cannot but observe that where the wives are in tears the husbands are all smiles and jokes; whilst a blithe face on the part of a wife means a grim and melancholy countenance on the part of her spouse. ”

“ The comfortable Estate of Widow- hood, is the only Hope that keeps up a Wife's Spirits. Where is the Woman who would scruple to be a Wife, if she had it in her Power to be a Widow, whenever she pleas'd? If you have any Views of this sort, Polly, I shall think the Match not so very unreasonable. ”

“ Your wife, for instance, or the impenetrable mystery of womanhood that you contemplate making your wife some day—can you, honestly, now, as a self-respecting husband of either de facto or in futuro, quite agree to the spectacle of that adored lady sitting over across the hearth from you in the snug room, evening after evening, with her feet—however small and well-shaped—cocked up on the other end of the mantel and one of your own big colorado maduros between her teeth! ”