Wedding gift

“ In refusing, one also refuses to be present at the wedding. Moreover, a solemn obligation is involved in the acceptance. Those who partake of the sweet almonds are expected not only to join in the festivities, but to furnish a wedding-gift. Eggs, game, fruit, vegetables, and articles of food are usually the principal presents received by the happy couple. ”

“ The groom's presents to his ushers are always put at their places at the bachelor dinner. Cuff links are the most popular gift; scarf-pins in localities where they are still fashionable. Silver or gold pencils, belt buckles, key-rings in gold, key-chains in silver, cigarette cases, bill-folders, card-cases, or other small and personal articles are suitable.
The present to the best man is approximately the same, or slightly handsomer than the gift to the ushers.
The Rehearsal
The bride always directs her wedding rehearsal, but never herself takes part in it, as it is supposed to be bad luck. ”

“ A bride should remember that too elaborate notes, which are a grave tax on her strength or time in the busy days preceding a wedding, are unwise, as is any other unnecessary expenditure of energy.
It is never obligatory to send a wedding present. The wedding announcement and wedding invitation are equally suggestive of such gifts, for in either case, whether one is invited to the ceremony or not, one is perfectly free to do as he pleases about conferring a gift. ”

“ The re-publication of this exquisite love story in verse is an event that will be heartily welcomed by those who can appreciate beauty of sentiment when presented in an unusual guise. No book is so appropriate for a dainty and inexpensive wedding gift.
Two volumes, small 12mo in size, printed on the highest grade deckle edge paper and bound in light green cloth with ivory and green decorations. ”

“ It should rather be said that any one who is invited is at liberty, but not under any obligation, to send a gift. Relatives and intimate friends would do so, whether invited or not. Circumstances may make it imperative to have the ceremony performed very quietly and to omit the usual reception. It is true that many of those invited to the bride’s house send a gift, though by no means all. A young woman who has a large wedding will receive more presents than one who simply sends out announcement cards after the ceremony. ”

“ In the meantime I should like to see something smaller and not quite so valuable."
"Is it a wedding present, Sir?"
"Don't," I said, "let us call it a wedding present just yet." If we do it's sure to turn out a sugar-sifter. Let's think of it as a mere gift."
"Yes, Sir."
"Of course we may find that the man to whom we're going to give it is about to be married, but that will be only the long arm, won't it?"
"The—I beg your pardon, Sir;"
"A coincidence, you know; and we're not the men to be put off by coincidences, are we?" ”

“ Only intimate friends are privileged to place the gift in the bride’s hands. For all others custom demands that it shall be sent—express prepaid, of course—to the house of her parents. The family and friends of the bridegroom conform to this rule, even when they are not personally acquainted with his fiancée. The groom occasionally receives a few gifts for his personal use, which are sent directly to him. The easiest, simplest, and best way of forwarding a wedding-present is to have it despatched from the store where it is purchased. ”

“ The parents of the groom-elect are sure to give a dance, or a "party" of one kind or another "to meet" their daughter-to-be. If the engagement is a short one, their life becomes a veritable dashing from this house to that, and every meal they eat seems to be one given for them by some one. It is not uncommon for a bride-elect to receive a few engagement presents. (These are entirely apart from wedding presents which come later.) A small afternoon teacup and saucer used to be the typical engagement gift, but it has gone rather out of vogue, along with harlequin china in general. ”

“ It is touching to have the maid of honor and the best man present, if they are both still living. As many of the original bridal attendants as are available should be invited, and all the old friends and acquaintances of the family. There must be no levity, the couple must be treated with reverence and honor, and the occasion must be given every appearance of dignified importance.
Unlike the silver wedding, gifts are always presented to the aged couple at the golden wedding. Delicate pieces of gold jewelry are always pleasing to the "bride." ”

“ At length the party of the bride declared they would yield, provided the others offered her a present worthy of her. Thereupon began the song of the Wedding-gifts, to an air as solemn as a church psalm, the men outside singing bass in unison, and the women answering from within in falsetto. In twenty couplets at least the men enumerate all the wedding-presents, and the matrons at length consent that the door should be opened. ”

“ Q. Are wedding presents ever sent to the groom instead of the bride?
A. All wedding presents are addressed to the bride, even though they are sent by friends of the groom. It is not customary to give a bridegroom a personal wedding present.
Q. Should one send a gift upon receipt of an invitation to a wedding?
A. While anyone who receives an invitation to a wedding may send a present, it is not necessary to do so. This is also true of a wedding announcement. ”

“ As a memento of the event a groom often presents his ushers with a scarf
pin or watch or cigarette case ornamented with the initials of the bride
and groom, and the bride generally makes a similar present to her
bridesmaids of some dainty piece of jewelry. Whether this takes the form
of a pin, bracelet or one of the novelties that up-to-date jewelers are
always showing, it should be the best of its kind. Imitation stones or
"silver gilt" have no place as wedding gifts. ”

“ For the daughter of wealthy parents, who weds a husband of large means—and to whom all desirable useful things are assured—articles of virtu, and bewildering creations in the way of costly "fancy articles," are suitable wedding gifts. ”

“ It is to these near relatives that the probable date of the wedding-day is first whispered, in time to allow of much consultation and preparation in the selection of wedding gifts. In opulent families each has sometimes given the young couple a silver dinner service and much silver besides, and the rooms of the bride's father's house look like a jeweller's shop when the presents are shown. ”

“ So extreme has become the custom of sending wedding presents that it is perhaps necessary to remind those who really desire to do the correct thing, that a perfunctory service, or gift, or courtesy has no intrinsic value, and the omission of it would often be far more satisfactory than its bestowal. ”

“ How to be Happy though Married. Small crown 8vo., cloth, 3s. 6d. Bridal Gift Edition, white vellum cloth, extra gilt, bev. boards, gilt edges, in box, 7s. 6d.
“We strongly recommend this book as one of the best of wedding presents. It is a complete handbook to an earthly Paradise, and its author may be regarded as the Murray of Matrimony and the Baedeker of Bliss.”—Pall Mall Gazette. ”

“ The bridegroom was mounted on horseback, tricked out in the dress of a harlequin, with a crowd on horses and on foot, going before and following after, waving flags, beating drums, and making all manner of noises, to testify their joy; while the bride, who was commonly a mere child, was borne in a palanquin, covered with ribbons and trinkets and jewelry, looking, as she sat upright in her doll's house, much more as if she were a piece of frosted cake being carried to the wedding, than a living piece of flesh and blood that had any part therein. ”

“ If an invitation like the one above is issued, the guests will undoubtedly send beautiful gifts of silver—unless, as is often the case, it is requested in the invitation that no gifts be presented. Sometimes, in fact, the bride and groom of twenty-five years commemorate their silver wedding by themselves, sending handsome gifts of silver to those who started out in married life at about the same time that they did, but who have not been materially so fortunate. ”

“ The bride was fastening long pieces of ribbon upon beautiful sprays of rosemary for the bridesman and the spokesman. The younger bridesmaid was to weave the wreath for the bride, the older the one for the groom; the others, one apiece for their partners. The rosemary that was left was made into wedding favors for all the guests. Even the horses that were to take the bride to church had their harness trimmed with ribbons and rosemary. The eyes of the bride beamed with joy and love, whenever she glanced at the stalwart form of the groom. ”

“ Flowers may be sent to any lady, married or maiden, but never send them as a wedding present. When desirous of sending flowers to a lady with whom you are about to attend an affair, first ascertain whether she desires to wear flowers, and the color of the gown she intends wearing. It is hardly the fashion nowadays to carry hand-bouquets; only loose flowers to be worn on the dress should be sent.
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2. Jewelry should be given as seldom as possible outside of your own family, dear relatives, or fiancée. If given to others, it should be very small, cost little, and not be too elaborate ”

“ Where the bride makes presents to the bridemaids on her wedding-day, they generally consist of some articles of jewelry, not costly, and given more as a memento of the occasion than for their own intrinsic worth. ”

“ The earth has put her wedding-garment on,
And, robed in light, with flowers and verdure crowned,
Comes forth in joy to meet the bridegroom sun.
Thou, too, in thy young life's first bloom and pride,
Joyous as spring, fresh as the morning air,
Fair as the flowers of May, comest forth a bride,
And bowest thy head, Love's golden chain to wear.
Were mine the power, thy course of life should be
Serene and tranquil as the summer sky.
No wintry blast should rudely visit thee,
No tear of sorrow ever dim thine eye. ”

“ The wedding decorations are family property, and descend from mother to daughter, and both bride and bridegroom are covered with flowers, jewels, and gay embroidery. The bride sits in state and receives the congratulatory visits of her relatives and friends, and after the actual ceremony is over, the newly-married couple sit on a seat raised above the guests, and the sirih and betel-nut are largely chewed. There are "floral decorations," music, and feasting; all strangers are made welcome ”

“ As for wedding presents, great favor is shown to jewelry and articles somewhat out of the common. Vases of costly workmanship, brass wine-coolers, enamelled glass frames, small mirrors set in silver, belt clasps, pins of every sort of conceit for the hair, choice old Louis Treize silver boxes of curious design, and watches, even old miniatures, are all of the order of things most desired. So many of our spring brides are going immediately to Europe that it seems absurd to load them down with costly dinner sets, or the usual lamps and pepper-casters. ”

“ The bridegroom with twelve groomsmen met us at the door of the parlor, and there we found all the guests assembled. An enormous tray was carried behind us, heaped with bouquets of rosemary and orange sprays, each tied with a white ribbon, which were destined for the young ladies and bachelors present at the wedding. To fasten on these bouquets, each bridesmaid had a certain number of gold and silver pins, and great care was to be used in distributing the different values according to the rank of each person. ”

“ Husbands have occasionally to learn that a small sealed packet of old letters would be a more acceptable present to the bride on her wedding morning than the prettiest trinket from the Rue de la Paix. Should like to throw this shell into the midst of the orange-flowers and the wedding favours, and I’d do it too, only that I could never accurately hear of the tumult and dismay it caused. I should be left to mere imagination for the mischief and imagination no longer satisfies me. ”

“ Beautiful indeed is the celebration of the golden wedding. With her children and grandchildren and friends grouped around her, with her husband at her side, doing her every honor he might pay a newly-won bride, the bride of fifty years can be naught but inexpressibly happy—though memories of lost youth rise constantly to haunt her. It is glorious—this reaching fifty years of married life—and any couple may well be proud to commemorate its occasion. ”

“ Passively the unwilling, shrinking bride submitted to the obsequious attendants, who robed her slender form in the gorgeous wedding-garments and applied the adornments of art to enhance her pale beauty, so that when she appeared before them, the relatives and friends, who had assembled for the occasion, were enchanted, and all were loud in praise of her surpassing loveliness. ”

“ In larger towns the young man may accompany the friends for the ceremony of engagement. Between the times of engagement and wedding the couple do not see nor write to each other—only the parents give visits on special days, as Christmas and Easter, or other occasions, and send presents to each other. The presents of the groom are expected to be more valuable and frequent. The bride is expected to furnish the groom and his nearest friends with embroideries, stockings and other articles, all made by her own hand. Also she has to prepare several suits for herself, all to be used after marriage. ”