Promiscuity

“ Now, this fact manifestly constitutes a very strong presumption against the basis of the theory according to which promiscuity has been, with the human species, the primitive and necessary stage of sexual unions. Do we thus mean to say that there is no example of promiscuity in human societies, primitive or not? Far from it. It would be impossible to affirm this without neglecting a large number of facts observed in antiquity or observable in our own day. But we are warranted in believing that the very inferior stage of promiscuity has never been other than exceptional in humanity. ”

“ Similarly the arguments for promiscuity and group marriage suffer from incurable weakness, and would so suffer, even were the basis far more reliable than I have shown to be the case, unless and until it has been shown by what process and for what reasons man took each upward step. So far only one writer has attempted, and that nearly thirty years ago, to trace the course of human development on the hypothesis of primitive promiscuity, and his scheme is a house of cards. ”

“ It has been pointed out more than once that there are grave difficulties in the way of any hypothesis which assumes that terms of relationship, properly so called, were evolved in a state of pure promiscuity. ”

“ Against the hypothesis of promiscuity Sir Henry Maine has urged that a good deal of evidence seems to show that promiscuous intercourse between the sexes tends to a pathological condition very unfavourable to fecundity ”

“ The practices I have enumerated have all been interpreted as expiations for marriage. Marriage, it is said,—the appropriation of one or more women to one man—is an evolution from the primeval condition of promiscuity. ”

“ These dissatisfied women of strong sexuality, [211] and women of the other types I have noted, must either marry or must continue lawless careers of unregulated promiscuity, each one acting according to her own fancy, curbed only by the will of her lover or lovers, and the circumstances in which she is placed: there is at present no third course. ”

“ The reply is, that among the many maternal peoples now well known, among whom relationships are traced through mothers only, we find no evidence of the practice of general promiscuity now or even in remote times. ”

“ Not only is it impossible to admit that mankind has, in all times and places, passed through a necessary stage of promiscuity, but we must go further, and also renounce a theory which has had some degree of success lately—the theory of obligatory primitive hetaïrism. ”

“ It seems doubtful whether anything like absolute promiscuity ever prevailed among the human race, but there is much to show that wide choice and intercourse were common among primitive folk and that the tendency of later marriage custom has been on the whole to LIMIT this range of choice. ”

“ Where promiscuity is prevalent, or where marriages are temporary, the known relationships are relatively few and not close; and there is little more social cohesion than results from belonging to the same type of man. ”

“ At the age of fifteen to sixteen the necessity arises for admonition against sexual promiscuity and its relationship to the hygienic health of the individual and its eugenic influence on coming generations. ”

“ Many of the assertions made as to peoples living in promiscuous intercourse have, however, been shown to be erroneous, and the accuracy of the others is at least open to question. But even if some of the statements were true, it would539 be a mistake to infer that these quite exceptional cases represent a stage of development through which all mankind have passed; and it is certainly not among the lowest peoples that sexual relations most nearly approach to promiscuity. ”

“ The paths of civilization, from the complete promiscuity of sexual intercourse to the lofty ideal of life-long monogamic union, has not been a straightforward one, but has been marked by various aberrations of sexual relationship; hetairism, prostitution, polyandry, incest, rape, the jus primae noctis, etc. The anthropologist is able to trace the successive stages of the development of the institution of monogamic marriage ”

“ Art thou bound unto a wife? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned: and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless, such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.” That is, I will spare you this trouble, in recommending a single, solitary life. You will observe that in these words he attributes no intrinsic merit or dignity to either celibacy or marriage. ”

“ To a certain extent we seek to preserve the virginity of our daughters; but is there any limit toxli the precautions with which a jealous husband will fence about his wife? In short, virginity concerns alone her who loses it; is any man’s for the taking. Chastity is another person’s property.
This slight survey of virginity would be incomplete without a reference to the operation of infibulation18—the artificial adhesion of the labia majora by means of a ring or stitches with a view to the prevention of sexual intercourse. ”

“ Winfield Scott Hall, in Reproduction and Sexual Hygiene, says, “There is another sacrifice, if it be so called, which the husband is called upon to make during the pregnancy of his wife; namely, to abstain absolutely from sexual intercourse. All other animals observe this period of continence. Nature{466} demands that man observe it. The author submits this question to all fair-minded men; is it not due the wife that she be not asked to satisfy the recurring sexual desires of the husband during the period when her life and its energies are so sacred to the race, to society and to the family? ”

“ MARRIAGE EXCESSES.—A very common cause, more often producing Impotency (loss of Sexual Desire or Power) and Sterility (inability to beget offspring) , than Spermatorrhœa (loss of vital fluid, daily and nightly losses, losses in the urine, nervous prostration, debility, insanity, paralysis, &c. For full description of symptoms, see pages 12-16) . Sexual desire was given to mankind, like any other power or appetite—to be enjoyed in reasonable moderation and for the purpose of insuring a continuance of our species by the birth of offspring. ”

“ On the morning of the day that accomplishes the full term of school graduation, the man is introduced to his future wife, who has been returned to her parent’s charge for the three month’s probationary test of full compatibility, during which her intended enjoys their hospitality. The adjudged unity of these marriage selections has been so perfect in conception, that there has not been a single instance of misapprehension, or one that failed in fulfilling the complete assimilation of affection for sole representation, independent of attaint from the lustful vagrancy of desire. ”

“ Shall these heaven-born impulses of nature be regarded, or must they be repressed? Shall we permit these tendrils of our love to bind themselves around some kindred heart, or shall we suffer them to be rudely torn asunder, and cast aside to wither and decay? Implanted for the noblest purposes within our breasts, interwoven with the very fibres of our being, the laws of God and of nature unquestionably demand their indulgence. ”

“ Whosoever shall say, that the marriage state is preferable to a state of virginity, or celibacy, or that it is not more blessed to remain in a state of virginity or celibacy, than to be joined in matrimony, let him be accursed. ”

“ For without that ascertainment of peculiar property which marriage gives to every man in his wife, and to every woman in her husband, the human progeny would be unnoticed, unclaimed, uneducated, and totally neglected. ”

“ A divorce may be obtained provided the injured party begins the suit.
3. Test of Virginity.—The consummation of marriage with a virgin is not necessarily attended with a flow of blood, and the absence of this sign is not the slightest presumption against her former chastity. The true test of virginity is modesty void of any disagreeable familiarity. A sincere Christian faith is one of the best recommendations.
4. Let Every Man Remember that the legal right of marriage does not carry with it the moral right to injure for life the loving companion he has chosen. ”

“ In the case of a husband seeking a nullity of marriage on the grounds of impotence or sterility in his wife, the question at issue is not whether she can bear children, but can she permit sexual intercourse? ”

“ And those men and women who are spending their most vigorous period of life in cold and barren celibacy, without ever having yielded to the warm desires of reproduction, are living, every moment, in debt to their Creator and to the commonwealth of mankind. They have never fulfilled some of the most important purposes of their being. ”

“ If husbands and wives ever attain to the highest conditions of married life, it can only be after they know and practice, what is right in all their sex relations, both for reproductive purposes and in all other respects! ”

“ But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
Another object in the divine mind for uniting male and female is for the purpose of procreation. “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply and replenish the earth.” Gen. 1:28. Alas! how few properly reverence and esteem the divine purpose. Marriages are too often contracted for the comforts of a home, or for affluence, or for elevation in society, or, worst of all, for [pg 243] the gratification of lustful desires. ”

“ The simple truth, is that, if the husband and wife have mastered the Art of Love, so that they mutually desire each other, and both long for sex exercise during the gestation period, it is perfectly right and WISE for them to satisfy their natural COMMON wishes. ”

“ The deceived husband, not having the anatomical knowledge necessary to assure himself of the real existence of the signs of virginity, feels a difficulty in copulating, and is far from suspecting any trick. ”

“ Thus we see that merely the biological purpose in marriage—the procreation of offspring and the continuance of the race—is not sufficient in itself to justify mere animal-like lust or promiscuous mating. For human beings the truly human elements must enter in order that there may be a relationship worthy of being called human marriage. ”

“ In the unmarried person: onanism or prostitution, or both. Is that morality? Such people must either forever forego love, marriage, and normal, lawful sexual intercourse, or face sterility in wedded life. ”

“ It fostered the reproductive side of woman’s sexual life, but it rendered difficult for her the satisfaction of the instinct for that courtship which is the natural preliminary of reproductive activity, an instinct even more highly developed in the female than in the male, and the more insistent because in the order of Nature the burden of maternity is preceded by the reward of pleasure. But the marriage order which had become established led to the indirect result of banning pleasure in women, or at all events in wives. ”

“ Those of us who have discovered that there are risks attaching to the profession of marriage other than the natural ones of childbirth, have very often made the discovery by accident—which ought not to be. ”

“ But marriage and procreation are both based on the erotic life. If the erotic life is not sound, then marriage is broken up, practically if not always formally, and the process of procreation is carried out under unfavorable conditions or not at all. ”

“ Precocious or late marriages are injurious to reproduction. The unnatural union of old and young of either sex with the other, entails its own miseries. A curious estimate of salacious appetites and power has been drawn up as pervading the different temperaments. ”

“ Moreover, in no single marriage is the reproductive capacity of the wife utilized to the full, up to the time of extinction of her generative faculty; either because the potency of the male partner undergoes a gradual decline, or, it may be, because, after a while, sexual intercourse becomes less frequent, or because precautions against procreation are taken. ”

“ As a general rule it is imperative that the full growth shall have been attained, the vital organs in good condition, and those of generation free from all faulty conformation which may interfere with the consummation of the marriage. It is also essential that in man the sexual instinct shall have become sufficiently awakened, that the desire for sexual relations shall have created in some sort of a necessity.9 In a word, both sexes should have reached the age of procreative maturity. ”

“ By inducing early marriages, the dire evils arising from promiscuous sexual intercourse with the tainted or diseased, will gradually disappear, and in a generation or two we would find springing up, in the place of the present sickly, puny race, a healthy, robust, and pure generation. ”

“ Does any gentleman think himself at all obliged to notice either the objects, or the fruits of his illicit intercourse? In all cases of seduction, we may see what would be the effects of the abolition of marriage. ”

“ I urge, then, that those who attempt to direct young men through the mazes of sexual life should hold up ideals not only of pre-marital continence, but also of post-nuptial temperance and harmonious adjustment between husband and wife. ”

“ Those who marry from merely physical sexual motives, who overemphasize or overweight the physical side of sex, are not able to gain from marriage what the rationally controlled love episode can give them. ”