Recusant

Definition and stakes

Quintus Tullius Cicero,  On running for the Consulship

“ For when a request is made which we cannot grant with honour or without loss to ourselves, for instance, if a man were to ask us to appear in a suit against a friend, a refusal must be given in a gentlemanly way: you must point out to him that your hands are tied, must shew that you are exceedingly sorry, must convince him that you will make up for it in other ways. ”
Source: Wikisource

Maud C. Cooke,  Social Life; or, The Manners and Customs of Polite Society

“ On the gentleman's part, a decided refusal should be received as calmly as possible, and his resolve should be in no way to annoy the cause of all his pain. If mere indifference be or seem to be the origin of the refusal, he may, after a suitable length of time, press his suit-125- once more; but if an avowed or evident preference for another be the reason, it becomes imperative that he should at once withdraw from the field. Any reason that the lady may, in her compassion, see fit to give him as cause for her refusal, should ever remain his inviolable secret. ”
Source: Gutenberg

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