Hector Servadac

“ MONEY AT A PREMIUM. “Who's there? I have nothing here for any one. Go away!” Such was the inhospitable greeting with which Isaac Hakkabut received his visitors.
“Hakkabut! do you take us for thieves?” asked Servadac, in tones of stern displeasure.
“Oh, your Excellency, my lord, I did not know that it was you,” whined the Jew, but without emerging any farther from his cabin. ”

“ Ben Zoof left to go into the kitchen, and Servadac approached the professor in order to assist him in rising to a sitting posture.
“Do you recognize your quondam pupil, professor?” he asked.
“Ah, yes, yes; you are Servadac,” replied Rosette. “It is twelve years or more since I saw you; I hope you have improved.”
“Quite a reformed character, sir, I assure you,” said Servadac, smiling.
“Well, that's as it should be; that's right,” said the astronomer with fussy importance. “But let me have my coffee,” he added impatiently; “I cannot collect my thoughts without my coffee.” ”

“ Servadac was stupefied; he felt instinctively that he was not dreaming, and yet was powerless to solve the mystery. He was not, however, the man to puzzle himself for long over any insoluble problem.
“Come what may,” he presently exclaimed, “we will make up our minds for the future to be surprised at nothing.”
“Right, captain,” replied Ben Zoof; “and, first of all, let us settle our little score with Count Timascheff.”
Beyond the ditch lay a small piece of meadow land, about an acre in extent. ”

“ For the last fortnight Servadac had not been occupying his proper lodgings in the military quarters; having been appointed to make a local levy, he had been living in a gourbi, or native hut, on the Mostaganem coast, between four and five miles from the Shelif. His orderly was his sole companion, and by any other man than the captain the enforced exile would have been esteemed little short of a severe penance. ”

“ Loud and hearty were the acclamations of the little colony, especially of the Spaniards, and great was the relief of Nina, when Servadac announced to them the discovery of their future domicile; and with requickened energies they laboured hard at the packing, anxious to reach their genia! winter-quarters without delay.
For three successive days the Dobryna, laden to her very gunwale, made a transit to and fro. Ben Zoof was left upon the island to superintend the stowage of the freight, whilst Servadac found abundant occupation in overlooking its disposal within the recesses of the mountain. ”

“ At a sign from Servadac, an orderly, who had been standing at a respectful distance, led forward a magnificent Arabian horse; the captain vaulted into the saddle, and followed by his attendant, well mounted as himself, started off towards Mostaganem. It was half-past twelve when the two riders crossed the bridge that had been recently erected over the Shelif, and a quarter of an hour later their steeds, flecked with foam, dashed through the Mascara Gate, which was one of five entrances opened in the embattled wall that encircled the town. ”

“ Count Timascheff, expressing his regret that his purse contained only paper money, begged to place it at Captain Servadac's disposal.
“No paper, no paper!” exclaimed Isaac. “Paper has no currency in Gallia.”
“About as much as silver,” coolly retorted the count.
“I am a poor man,” began the Jew.
“Now, Hakkabut, stop these miserable lamentations of yours, once for all. Hand us over two hundred and thirty francs in silver money, or we will proceed to help ourselves.”
Isaac began to yell with all his might: “Thieves! thieves!” ”

“ The captain was inexorable.
“Very sorry, you know, Hakkabut. It is not my fault that the packet is short weight; but I cannot pay for a kilogramme except I have a kilogramme.”
Hakkabut pleaded for some consideration.
“A bargain is a bargain,” said Servadac. “You must complete your contract.”
And, moaning and groaning, the miserable man was driven to make up the full weight as registered by his own steelyard. He had to repeat the process with the sugar and coffee: for every kilogramme he had to weigh seven. Ben Zoof and the Russians jeered him most unmercifully. ”

“ Servadac was just in the mood to take Panofka's part, which drew from Major Oliphant the remark that England could not be held responsible for any accidental injury done by her cannon, and if the Russian's long nose came in the way of the ball, the Russian must submit to the mischance.
This was too much for Count Timascheff, and having poured out a torrent of angry invective against the English officers, he ordered his crew to embark immediately,
“We shall meet again,” said Servadac, as they pushed off from shore. ”

“ As to a collision with a comet, there was not the faintest trace of any such phenomenon crossing men's minds, and awakening, as it surely would, a panic little short of the certified approach of the millennium.
“Nobody expects us,” said Servadac; “that is very certain.”
“No, indeed,” answered Ben Zoof, with a sigh; he was manifestly disappointed that his return to Mostaganem was not welcomed with a triumphal reception. ”

“ The old man hung his head, abashed.
“I will tell you what,” said Servadac after a brief interval; “I will give you leave to hear what this stranger has to tell as soon as he is able to tell us anything; at present we have not heard a word from his lips.”
The Jew looked perplexed.
“Yes,” said Servadac; “when we hear his story, you shall hear it too.”
“And I hope it will be to your liking, old Ezekiel!” added Ben Zoof in a voice of irony.
They had none of them long to wait, for within a few minutes Rosette's peevish voice was heard calling:
“Joseph! Joseph!” ”

“ The astronomer bit his lip, frowned, snorted, and cast at him a withering look, but did not take any further notice.
“Now, Captain Servadac,” said the professor, “take your pen again, if you please, and find me the volume of Gallia.”
The captain hesitated.
“Quick, quick!” cried the professor, impatiently; “surely you have not forgotten how to find the volume of a sphere!”
“A moment's breathing time, please.”
“Breathing time, indeed! A mathematician should not want breathing time! Come, multiply the surface by the third of the radius. Don't you recollect?” ”

“ You must perish with cold, you will not have the chance of digging out ice-huts like the Esquimaux.”
“As to rest,” said Servadac, “we shall take none; we shall keep on our way continuously; by travelling day and night without intermission, we shall not be more than three days in reaching Formentera.”
“Believe me,” persisted the lieutenant, calmly, “your enthusiasm is carrying you too far; the feat you propose is impossible ”

“ Ignorance!” shouted Rosette.
“Insolence!” retorted Servadac.
Ben Zoof, really thinking that his master was angry, made a threatening movement towards the professor.
“Touch me if you dare!” screamed Rosette, drawing himself up to the fullest height his diminutive figure would allow. “You shall answer for your conduct before a court of justice!”
“Where? On Gallia?” asked the captain.
“No; on the earth.”
“The earth! Pshaw! You know we shall never get there; our velocity is changed.”
“On the earth,” repeated the professor, with decision.
“Trash!” cried Ben Zoof. “The earth will be too far off!” ”

“ When Ben Zoof and Negrete had extricated their patient from the envelope of furs in which he had been wrapped by Servadac and the lieutenant, they found themselves face to face with a shrivelled little man, about five feet two inches high, with a round bald head, smooth and shiny as an ostrich's egg, no beard unless the unshorn growth of a week could be so described, and a long hooked nose that supported a huge pair of spectacles such as with many near-sighted people seems to have become a part of their individuality. ”

“ The consciousness that his tartan was the subject of discussion made the Jew give way to such vehement ejaculations of anxiety, that Servadac turned round and peremptorily ordered him to desist from his clamour. Leaving the old man under the surveillance of the count and Ben Zoof, the captain and the lieutenant stepped into a small boat and were soon alongside the floating emporium. ”

“ Uncomfortable as was their temporary abode, Servadac and his attendant made no complaints: neither of them was dainty in the matter either of board or lodging.
“Give a man a little philosophy and a good digestion, and he will thrive anywhere,” was a favourite speech of the captain's. A true Gascon, he had his philosophy, like his pocket-money, always at hand; and as for his digestion, it may be doubted whether the weight of all the waters of the Garonne would have caused it any inconvenience. And in this respect Ben Zoof was quite a match for his matter ”

“ On the 18th, Rosette was overheard in furious altercation with Ben Zoof. The orderly had been taunting the astronomer with the mutilation of his little comet. A fine thing, he said, to split in two like a child's toy. It had cracked like a dry nut; and mightn't one as well live upon an exploding bomb?—with much more to the same effect. The professor, by way of retaliation, had commenced sneering at the “prodigious” mountain of Montmartre, and the dispute was beginning to look serious when Servadac entered. ”

“ I will be even with him! Cheat! Thrown me out!” But he did not vouchsafe any reply to Servadac's inquiries, and withdrew to his study.
But from that day forward Rosette, for some reason at present incomprehensible, quite altered his behaviour to Isaac Hakkabut, a man for whom he had always hitherto evinced the greatest repugnance and contempt. All at once he began to show a remarkable interest in the Jew and his affairs, paying several visits to the dark little storehouse, making inquiries as to the state of business and expressing some solicitude about the state of the exchequer. ”

“ What do you want? Can't you get anybody to buy your stuffs?”
“Nobody will pay me a proper price.”
“Well, old Shimei, you won't find a customer here. You had better be off.”
“No; but do, please—do, please, let me in,” supplicated the Jew, “I want to speak to his Excellency, the governour.”
“The governour is in bed, and asleep.”
“I can wait until he awakes.”
“Then wait where you are.”
And with this inhospitable rejoinder the orderly was about to return to his place at the side of his patient, when Servadac, who had been roused by the sound of voices, called out:
“What's the matter, Ben Zoof?” ”

“ You ought to think yourself lucky in getting any price at all. Be contented with European prices; you will get no more. However, I am not going to waste my breath on you. I will come again to-morrow;” and, without allowing Hakkabut time to renew his lamentations, Servadac went away.
All the rest of the day the Jew was muttering bitter curses against the thieves of Gentiles in general, and the Governour of Gallia in particular, who were robbing him of his just profits, by binding him down to a maximum price for his goods, just as if it were a time of revolution in the state. ”

“ Eager to throw some light upon the mystery, Servadac hurriedly made his way through the oleander bushes that overhung the shore, took up some water in the hollow of his hand, and carried it to his lips.
“Salt as brine!” he exclaimed, as soon as he had tasted it. “The sea has undoubtedly swallowed up all the western part of Algeria.”
“It will not last long, sir,” said Ben Zoof. “It is, probably, only a severe flood.”
The captain shook his head.
“Worse than that, I fear, Ben Zoof,” he replied with emotion. “It is a catastrophe that cannot fail to be attended with very serious consequences. ”

“ Servadac reflected. In a few moments he said—
“It cannot be that the fire is hotter; the peculiarity must be in the water.”
And taking down a centigrade thermometer, which he had hung upon the wall, he plunged it into the skillet Instead of 100°, he found that the instrument registered only 66°.
“Take my advice, Ben Zoof,” he said: “leave your eggs in the saucepan a good quarter of an hour.”
“Boil them hard! That will never do,” objected the orderly.
“You will not find them hard, my good fellow. Trust me, we shall be able to dip our sippets into the yolks easily enough.” ”

“ Hakkabut knew well enough that the orderly was not a man to be trifled with, and said, in a tremulous voice:
“Yes, I will buy.”
The professor, who had been looking on with much interest, betrayed manifest symptoms of satisfaction,
“How much do you want? What will you charge for it?” asked Isaac, mournfully, putting his hand into his pocket and chinking his money.
“Oh, we will deal gently with you. We will not make any profit. You shall have it for the same price that we paid for it. Ten francs a pound, you know.” ”

“ Consider, it is the only steelyard in all this new world of ours; it is worth more, much more. If I take your deposit it must be in gold—all gold. But how much do you agree to give me for the hire—the hire, one day?”
“You shall have twenty francs,” said Servadac.
“Oh, it is dirt cheap; but never mind, for one day, you shall have it. Deposit in gold money a hundred francs, and twenty francs for the hire.”
The old man folded his hands in meek resignation.
“The fellow knows how to make a good bargain,” said Servadac, as Isaac, after casting a distrustful look around, went out of the cabin. ”

“ Once satisfied that Servadac and his friends would co-operate with him in the raid upon “the thieves,” Ben Zoof became calm and content, and began to make various inquiries.
“And what has become,” he said, “of all our old comrades in Africa?”
“As far as I can tell you,” answered the captain, “they are all in Africa still; only Africa isn't by any means where we expected to find it.”
“And France? Montmartre?” continued Ben Zoof eagerly. ”