Dinner party

“ To drive fifteen, twenty, or even five-and-twenty miles, to a dinner party was so common an occurrence, that it excited surprise only in a stranger, whose wonderment at this voluntary fatigue would be quickly dispelled on witnessing the hearty hospitality and friendly freedom that made a north country visit so enjoyable, and robbed the dinner party of its ordinary character of an English solemnity. ”

“ The answer to this amazing inquiry travelled shrilly from the region of the scullery.
"Bilin' in the pot, ma'am."
I realised that it was merely soup in its elemental stage that was under discussion, but Peace spread her wings at the cry; it recalled the fact that Philippa was having a dinner party that same night. In a small establishment such as mine, a dinner party is an affair of many aspects, all of them serious. The aspect of the master of the house, however, is not serious, it is merely contemptible. ”

“ At a grand dinner, a state occasion, a certain dulness was a part of the solemnity, and full-dress liveries and gold dishes were the natural accompaniments of dreariness and display; but a little dinner meant a choice party, a selected few, bound to bring with them their faculties at the brightest; not sharpening their wits at the moment of exercise, like an unruly orchestra tuning their instruments when they should be playing, but ready to start off at score. ”

“ The half hour before dinner has always been considered as the great ordeal through which the lady of the house, in giving a dinner-party, will either pass with flying colors, or lose many of her laurels. The anxiety to receive her guests, her hope that all will be present in good time, her trust in the skill of her cook, and the attention of the other domestics all tend to make the few minutes a trying time. ”

“ Bearing in mind that the guests come as late as they dare, without being absolutely uncivil, that dinners are served as rapidly as is physically possible, and that the circle breaks up as soon as the meal ends, one asks one’s self in wonder why, if a dinner party is such a bore that it has to be scrambled through, coûte que coûte, we continue to dine out? ”

“ A dinner-party is a formal function, and specially demands dignity of manner. If the Continental fashion is followed, and ladies and gentlemen leave the dining-room at the same time, you go out as you came in. ”

“ It is curious to observe a large, well-dressed party seated at dinner, all apparently frank and open as the day, full of fun and good humour, saying whatever comes uppermost, and to all outward seeming laying bare every crevice and cranny of their hearts, and then to reflect that each one of the throng has a separate life, entirely distinct from that which he or she parades before the public, cherished perhaps with a miser's care or endured with a martyr's fortitude. ”

“ After a dinner party one should bid good-night to the lady one has taken out to the table, to one's host and hostess. It is not good form to omit the latter, for she should be assured that you at least have enjoyed the evening, and that her effort at hospitality has been appreciated by you. ”

“ So much thought and anxiety are required for the success of a home dinner party that it is small wonder many prefer to add a little to the expense, in cities at least, and order a dinner for the requisite number at hotel or club, where the responsibility rests with the management after the details of the menu are settled. Such a dinner is less of a compliment to one's guests than the entertainment at one's own home, however ”

“ Refusals of dinner invitations from those for whom a dinner-party was partly originated are always disappointing, even to the most popular of dinner givers, in the same way that the absence of the principal neighbour from a county entertainment is felt to cast a shadow over the proceedings of the day. ”

“ The guests at a dinner party should be presented to one another in the drawing-room before coming to the table, and if that is impossible, as many should be introduced as may be, especially those who are to sit beside or near or opposite each other. If one is seated beside a guest whom he has not met, the man takes the initiative in speaking a few words as soon as he takes his seat, to which the lady responds always cordially, keeping up more or less of a conversation during the dinner. ”

“ The guests are, if possible, evenly divided as to sex, and a hostess may, with perfect propriety, arrange that the men of the party shall be lodged at a hotel, coming over to breakfast with their entertainer.
Amusements.—Some amusements are always provided for the visitors at a house-party. Often a dinner-party is planned for Sunday, in which several other guests are included. Men who cannot leave business for even a week-end often come out Sunday for a dinner and a breath of country air. Now that automobiles are as plenty as black-berries the railroad train can be ignored. ”

“ Although at a dinner-party there is reason to fear that an orchestra may be a nuisance, at a garden-party the open air and space are sufficient guarantees against this danger.
If the hostess wishes her entertainment to be served out-of-doors, of course all the dishes must be cold. Salads, cold birds, and ham, tongue, and pt de foie gras, cold pts, and salmon dressed with a green sauce, jellies, Charlottes, ices, cakes, punch, and champagne, are the proper things to offer. A cup of hot tea should be always ready in the house for those who desire it. ”

“ After having accepted a dinner invitation, if illness or any other cause interfere with your going to the dinner, send all immediate note to your hostess, that she may fill your place. Never selfishly keep the place open for yourself if there is a doubt about your going. It has often made or marred the pleasure of a dinner-party, this hesitancy on the part of a guest to send in time to her hostess her regrets, caused by the illness of her child, or the coming on of a cold, or a death in the family, or any other calamity. ”

“ When satiated with the dinner party, should you still wish to see more of the Would Be's, hasten to the Soirée or the Squeeze, and you will there find fresh and most titillating food for your moral palate, if you will pardon the figure. ”

“ Be careful in selecting the guests for a dinner party. Remember that conversation will be the sole entertainment for several hours, and if your guests are not well chosen, your dinner, no matter how perfect or costly the viands, will prove a failure. The most agreeable dinners are those whose numbers will allow all the guests to join in a common conversation, and where the host has spirit and intelligence to take the lead, and start a new subject when the interest in the old one begins to flag. ”

“ Oh, honest homes where a modest olla and a single dish constitute the daily happiness of a family, shun the perturbation of a birthday dinner-party! The custom of eating well and being well served every day can alone avert similar discomfiture. ”

“ At a fashionable dinner party, if there are twelve or fourteen guests, there should be twelve or fourteen birds, etc., served on the table—one for each person. If uninvited persons should{21} call, the servant could mention at the door that madam has company at dinner. A sensible person would immediately understand that the general machinery would be upset by making an appearance. ”

“ With respect to the number of guests, it has often been said, that a private dinner-party should consist of not less than the number of the Graces, or more than that of the Muses. A party of ten or twelve is, perhaps, in a general way, sufficient to enjoy themselves and be enjoyed. White kid gloves are worn by ladies at dinner-parties, but should be taken off before the business of dining commences. ”

“ Upon leaving the table, and the signal for leaving is given when the hostess rises, one’s napkin should be placed upon the table unfolded, unless one is to remain for another meal.
At a formal dinner party the host should enter the dining-room first and with the lady in whose honor the dinner is given; the hostess goes into the dining-room last with the most important man guest, who should be seated at her right. ”

“ In giving a dinner party, invite only as many guests as you can seat comfortably at your table. If you have two tables, have them precisely alike, or, rest assured, you will offend those friends whom you place at what they judge to be the inferior table. Above all, avoid having little tables placed in the corners of the room, when there is a large table. ”

“ The dinner-party, where there are ten or twelve at table, is a favorite chance for this exercise. At a recent dinner, where there were a dozen uncommonly intelligent people, all capable of the most entertaining conversation, by some chance, or owing to some nervous condition, they all began to speak in a high voice as soon as they were seated, and the effect was that of a dynamite explosion. ”

“ A dinner-party is so arranged, that the dinners received from others are returned to them, and they cannot afford to ask a couple who cannot give them a dinner in return, as they would fill up the places of others to whom a dinner is due, and who, if not asked then, must be at another time ”

“ INVITATIONS. The Formal Invitation.—A dinner-party is the most formal and most important of all social functions. We may invite all our acquaintances to a ball or a reception. We may select more carefully for our teas and luncheons, but the dinner is reserved as the greatest compliment to be paid those we wish to honor. Therefore an immediate acceptance or regret must be sent, and nothing but illness, accident or death should prevent us from presenting ourselves. ”

“ It is always best for the lady of the house, where a dinner-party is to come off, to be dressed and ready to appear in the drawing-room as early as possible, so that if any of the guests should happen to come a little early, she may be prepared to receive them. ”

“ The arrival of a distinguished man in a place of any importance is usually celebrated by a dinner given in his honour by the leading residents. At a dinner party the gentlemen sit at one table and the ladies at another in a different room. ”

“ Every one goes down to dinner as promptly as possible and the procedure is exactly that of all dinners. If it is a big party, the gentlemen offer their arms to the ladies the host or hostess has designated. At the end of the evening, it is the custom that the hostess suggest going up-stairs, rather than the guests who ordinarily depart after dinner. ”

“ On the Continent, a dinner-party is always an “axe-grinding” function. A family who asked people to dine without having a distinct end in view for such an outlay would be looked upon by their friends and relatives as little short of lunatics. Diplomatists are allowed certain sums by their governments for entertaining, and are formally dined in return by their guests. A great French lady who is asked to dine out twice a week considers herself fortunate; a New York woman of equal position hardly dines at home from December 1 to April 15, unless she is receiving friends at her own table. ”

“ All the tact and good breeding at the command of the hostess should be exercised, first in choosing, then in arranging, the guests to be present. Not too many are to be bidden to the ordinary dinner; six, eight and twelve are desirable numbers, and four frequently forms the cosiest party imaginable. ”

“ The party then adjourns to another apartment, where coffee is served and where it is frequently joined by other visitors, chiefly men, who come without particular invitation, to pay their respects or to converse on business, in the manner of a morning call, and who prolong their stay as the movements of the first party indicate: for an invitation to dinner by no means necessarily implies that you are to spend the evening or any part of it at the house or that the family has no other engagement as soon as dinner is concluded and the guests have taken their coffee and liquors. ”

“ If one gives a lunch party, ladies alone are generally invited. It is an informal meal on ordinary occasions, when every thing is placed upon the ta{37}ble at once. A servant remains in the room only long enough to serve the first round of dishes, then leaves, supposing that confidential conversation may be desired. ”

“ She should be ready five minutes before her guests arrive, and in the parlor, serene and cool, "mistress of herself, though china fall." She should see herself that the dinner-table is properly laid, the champagne and sherry thoroughly cooled, the places marked out, and, above all, the guests properly seated.
"Ay, there's the rub." To invite the proper people to meet each other, to seat them so that they can have an agreeable conversation, that is the trying and crucial test. Little dinners are social; little dinners are informal; little dinners make people friends. ”

“ The dinner has always something of a ceremonious character, being the time when the family all meet with the leisure to enjoy one another’s society after the labors of the day are done. It is well, therefore, to attend to the few material details which aid in making the occasion an agreeable one. Refinements are more clearly shown at table than elsewhere, and the influences of decorum at dinner are more subtle than are always recognized. ”

“ Amid flowers and softly shaded lights sits the gracious woman who pours the liquid gold into the fragile cups, dispensing meanwhile, smiles and the bright charming small talk that is so necessary to the success of these occasions. A wise hostess selects for this important position the most brilliant, tactful woman within her circle of friends. The menu, although by no means regulated on the English house-party plan, should consist of trifles—sandwiches, wafers, fancy cakes, ices, and possibly a salad. ”