Caller

“ If the first caller is an intimate friend of the hostess, and has come to have a long informal talk with her, and the second caller is merely a formal visitor whose obvious intention is to make a ceremonious visit, then the first comer may, with perfect propriety, outstay the other ”

“ A visiting card is always left on the hall table or on the card tray, if it is not given to the servant. The caller must on no occasion carry it in and present it to her hostess like a billet d'admission. A woman never presents it herself to her hostess.
When the call is made on the hostess' day at home, cards are left on the tray in the hall as each caller passes through to the drawing- or reception-room. If it is the first call of the season, to that particular friend or acquaintance, she places one of her own cards and one of her husband's in the tray. ”

“ But we were both “Westerners” and understood frankness, while most of the young people there were from New England. Sometimes there would be several young men ranged around the room waiting. As each girl would appear, she would stand poised in the door-way till she discovered her caller, then, making directly for him, would be more or less oblivious to the others throughout the evening. We learned on entering the room to nod to the other “steady” callers, but there was seldom further interchange among us. ”

“ Having received a reply in the negative, the caller leaves her card and departs. There must be no questions as to where the ladies may be, or what time they shall return, unless one is a particularly intimate friend of the entire family. ”

“ When Calling.—If making a call, and another visitor enters, the lady of the house rises to greet her and introduces any other guests who may be present. A man must rise and find a scat for the newcomer, but the women bow without rising. If only one guest is present, she should rise if the hostess and latest caller remain standing, or if a change of seats seems desirable. ”

“ LIEUT. HENRY KEYSER, U.S.N. In receiving a gentleman caller, a gentleman meets him at the door, takes his hat and cane, and places a chair for him, but a lady does not leave her seat to receive a gentleman, slightly rising to bow, and resuming her place again when her visitor is seated; in receiving another lady, a lady should rise and advance to meet her, also rise and accompany her to the door when leaving, unless she has other callers, in which case, she is not required to leave her place, only standing to bid her caller farewell. ”

“ In making an informal call in the evening, a gentleman may leave hat, gloves, cane and overcoat in the hall.
No gentleman will prolong a call if he finds his host or hostess dressed to go out. A brief visit with a promise to repeat it will place his entertainers at ease, and even if they urge a longer stay, the very fact that they were preparing to go out, proves their desire to do so.
A card used in calling must never have anything upon it, but the name and address of the caller. Nothing can show a greater ignorance of the customs of society than to use a business card for a friendly call. ”

“ If one expects to remain in France any length of time at all, it is important that one know and understand the etiquette of calls and cards in that country.
Calls are paid just as frequently in France as they are in America. Between two and six o'clock in the afternoon is the correct time for calling in the former country. One observes very much the same conventions of calling that one does here in America, except that the gentleman wears both his gloves when entering a drawing-room, and that the hostess does not rise to welcome a masculine caller. ”

“ The hours for calling are from four to seven in the afternoon, but young men who are not on very intimate terms with the family should carefully abstain from calling after six o’clock, lest they should be the last and solitary caller. ”

“ When callers are ushered into the reception-room, they are met by the ladies, when introductions are given, and the callers are invited to remove their overcoats, but it is optional with them whether they do so or not. ”

“ In parting from a gentleman caller, rise when he does, and remain standing until he leaves the room, but do not go towards the door.
When a gentleman calls in the morning he will not remove his outside coat, and will hold his hat in his hand. ”

“ The stranger is invited to accompany the caller primarily as a matter of convenience. If the person visited is not at home, no question of card-leaving is involved—only the friend leaves cards and not the stranger. But if the hostess is found at home, and if the stranger intends to spend at least two weeks in the neighborhood, it is necessary for him, or her, to leave cards. ”

“ It is more correct in these days when everyone has a telephone, to call up and inquire whether it will be convenient for the lady to receive callers, unless, of course, one is paying duty calls, in which case a card discharges the obligation. ”

“ Cook, about a telephone call made to her in which the caller or callers made lewd or indecent remarks. It will suffice for purposes of this opinion to say that the remarks or questions put to her were of the irritatingly offensive, adolescent, sex variety. ”

“ If callers are allowed in her room, they are liable to remain too long. If you lack the nerve to decline callers the privilege they may expect, then ask your physician to order that no one see her at present. ”

“ Clergymen and their families, brides, and persons of note are entitled to receive first calls. The older residents of the community are expected to lead in the list of callers who welcome the newcomers. ”

“ When people make calls they should inquire at the door for those whom they wish to see. They should also send in their names if unknown to the one who comes to the door. When callers enter a room, persons in the room not inquired for should soon leave. No member of the family should enter the room when one is receiving calls unless it is very necessary, and then an apology should be offered. ”

“ It is not etiquette to introduce callers when they meet in your drawing-room. Life would become utterly impossible if one were liable to meet one’s next-door neighbor, whom one had taken infinite pains to avoid, when merely paying a call. ”

“ You must see if each know how to make a little formal call like a grown-up people in good societies. You have had good, perfect instruction; let us see if we know how to perform like societies ladies and gentlemen twenty-six years of age.
"Now, when you are dismissed each lady will go to her home and prepare to receive a call. The gentlemen will allow the ladies time to reach their houses and to prepare to receive callers; then each gentleman will call upon a lady and beg the pleasure to engage her for a partner in the cotillon to-morrow. ”

“ It is proper, after a removal from one part of the city to another, to send out cards with one's new address upon them.
To ascertain what are the prescribed hours for calling in the place where one is living, or making a visit, and to adhere to those hours is a duty that must not be overlooked.
A gentleman should ask for the lady of the house as well as the young ladies, and leave cards for her as well as for the head of the family. ”

“ Calls in the country may be less ceremonious and of longer duration, than those made in the city.
A person making a call should not, while waiting for a hostess, touch an open piano, walk about the room examining pictures, nor handle any ornament in the room. ”

“ On the other hand, through having a telephone of my own I now escape one of the commonest and most tiresome of life's irritations—which is to wait outside one of these call-offices while the person inside is carrying on a conversation that is not only unnecessary and frivolous, but unending. ”

“ An indication at every street corner as to the direction to take to reach the point—or perhaps better, the conspicuous advertisement of the nearest call-point over every post pillar-box and inside every front door—may enable the veriest stranger to call assistance, and minimize the chances of time being lost in search of the instrument. It is immaterial for the moment whether the helpers are called by bell outside a fire-station, by a messenger from some special messenger service, by a call through a telephone, or by an electric or automatic appliance. ”

“ An ordinary policeman, or some one from the central office? But, now that I think of it, here is a telephone. We can have any one brought here that you wish. I prefer that neither you nor I leave this room until that functionary has appeared. Name the authority you want brought here," said the doctor, going to the telephone, "and I will have him here if he is in town." ”

“ No, for I think an answer will come only directly after I have sent out a call, and it has been picked up by some operator. Still there is a possibility that some operator might receive my message, and report to his chief, or some one in authority over him, before replying. In that time I might go away. But to guard against that I will sleep with the telephone receiver clamped to my ear. Then I can hear the answer come over the wires, and can jump up and reply. ”

“ But some one has been calling the house repeatedly at night, listening until I reply, and then hanging up the receiver. It is not accidental. It has happened too often."
"I'm not supposed to give out information about calls." ”

“ When there are several different persons using the same line, two or three of them may mistake the call for theirs, and all rush to the telephone at once. If at all stupid, or lacking in politeness, they will make it quite unpleasant for each other. The one entitled to speak should politely inquire for the one for whom she has called at the telephone, also giving her own name as the one delivering the message. ”

“ It may seem strange that a lad who seldom heard even the third getting-up call in the morning should have awakened without any calling once a year—or that his red-night-gowned figure should have leaped from the depths of his feather bed—or that he should have crept breathless and fearful to the door where the stocking hung. ”

“ Ordinarily, when the bearer of a letter of introduction is a woman, a call is made within three days. This call is followed by the offer of some hospitality, usually a luncheon or tea. A gentleman calls upon a lady or upon another gentleman as soon as he receives a letter of introduction. But a lady, instead of making a call, sends an invitation to the gentleman who is introduced to her by means of a letter. ”

“ Its operators, installers and other representatives are your neighbors. Some may be your friends or relatives. Its departments are managed by your fellow citizens—men and women who have come up through the ranks.
Nine out of every ten telephone calls handled by these home town people are local calls. The tenth call may go across the continent or across the ocean. But wherever the calls go, they travel by means of a marvelously ordered world of wires, cables, switchboards, dial equipment, radio and above all, with the help of people working together to serve the public. ”

“ That the ways of telephones and the persons who operate them are sometimes trying, no one can deny,—least of all, the writer of this chapter, who lives in a house with one of these maddening essentials to human comfort. But the loss of temper that manifests itself in the outward speech is not a requisite of the proper appreciation and use of the telephone. It is nothing less than a habit, and a pernicious one,—this way we have of talking into the transmitter. Let us remember that courtesy pays better than curses, and politeness better than profanity. ”

“ This Call of the Wild they prate about is just the call a fellow hears to go on 'the bust' when he's had too much town and's got bored--a call to a little bit of license and excess to safety-valve him down. ”

“ To stop to look up one number often delays several, and it is a duty [Pg 220] which should never devolve upon the girl whose business it is to send the calls through. The man who is calling, or his secretary, if he has one, or a person near the switchboard stationed there for the purpose should look up the numbers and give them to the operator.
An efficient girl at the telephone sends numbers through as quickly as is humanly possible, but even then she is often scolded by nervous and harassed men who expect more than can really be done. ”

“ Besides, a call, in an adjacent street, on one whose milliner is not the same, and whose friends are similar to your own—thus giving ample room for praise and its reverse—such a call is quite another thing from that in the country, which involves, first, a journey through wilds that "seem to lengthen as you go;" ”

“ To persons intending to make this use of the telephone a word of counsel may not be impertinent. As no human being, however well-eared, ever understood the telephone until it had repeated itself a number of times in response to his demands for more light, and as the moribund are not commonly in very good voice, it will be wise to begin the “last words” while there is yet a little reserve fund of life and strength remaining, for repetition and explanation. ”

“ NOTE.—Whether your call be made upon a card or letter of introduction, by appointment over the phone, or by letter, or by careful, thorough, systematic house-to-house work, a careful study and mastery of this section will give you a forceful "Selling Talk." The points made in Section 3 have been used by successful workers. ”

“ Consider that a conversation by telephone--when you are simply siting by and not taking any part in that conversation--is one of the solemnest curiosities of modern life. Yesterday I was writing a deep article on a sublime philosophical subject while such a conversation was going on in the room. I notice that one can always write best when somebody is talking through a telephone close by. ”