Wedding invitation

“ People with a large acquaintance cannot always invite all their friends to a wedding reception, and therefore invite all to the church. Sometimes people who are to give a small wedding at home request an answer to the wedding invitation ”

“ THERE IS NO form of stationery so dear to the feminine heart as the wedding card.Wedding Cards It piques the interest of every woman, married or single, into whose hands it chances on its travels, and leaves a flutter of delightful expectancy in its wake. The wording, paper, style and engraving of the wedding invitation must be unquestionably correct, or the success of the wedding, from its social side, is marred. ”

“ There has always been some doubt as to whether or not the family of the second-bride's first husband should be invited to her wedding. Absolutely. There is no reason why they should be ignored, any more than any of the other friends and acquaintances of the bride. In fact, she owes them a special courtesy, and if they accept the invitation, they must be treated with the kindest attention and courtesy. They must always occupy seats below the white ribbon, if the wedding is held at church. ”

“ A formal invitation to a house wedding demands the same acknowledgment as an invitation to a church wedding.
In acknowledging an invitation to a wedding, a single woman sends one of her visiting cards in an envelope addressed to the mother and father of the bride on the day of the wedding. A single man sends two of his cards, and a married couple send one of the wife’s and two of the husband’s cards. To the bride on her “At Home” day, cards should be sent in exactly the same way. A wedding reception, if it takes place in the evening, demands full dress. ”

“ All these invitations in their envelopes may be enclosed in an outside envelope addressed to the parents.
A wedding invitation or announcement card should always be addressed to both members of a married couple, even if the bride or groom who sends it is acquainted with only one. ”

“ Any friend who has sent a present before the invitations are out must be invited. The general feeling seems to be that {76} an invitation to a wedding involves a present, and that is rather a tax. It also takes away from that purely voluntary spirit which is the beauty of a gift. In some cases friends are only asked to the church, the reception at home being confined to members of the two families. ”

“ If the bride is an orphan, or if there is any very good reason why her parents’ names should not appear on the invitation, the latter may be sent in the name of the married brother and his wife, or in the name of whoever gives the bride the wedding reception. ”

“ A too rigid economy should not be observed in the sending of wedding invitations, and the prospective bridegroom should see that this is carried out. In case there are several members of a family, it is good form to inclose an invitation to each ”

“ The wording of invitations, and the styles of cards, are so constantly changing, that it will not do to lay down rules. Cards of invitation to the wedding are usually sent out in the name of the mother. [See page 70.]
A few days before the return of the wedded pair, their own especial card is sent to those whom they desire shall call upon them, and whose acquaintance they wish to retain.
However plain the dress chosen for the occasion, gloves and shoes must be faultless. There should be flowers if possible; they are never more in place. ”

“ It bears the complete name and address of the person for whom it is intended, while the inner envelope bears only the name. The church cards are enclosed with the wedding reception if there is necessity for them. And if there is to be a wedding reception to which this particular guest is invited, a special card is also enclosed. The "at home" cards of the bridal couple are sent separately after the wedding.
ADDRESSING THE ENVELOPES
The wedding invitation is addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Blank. The expression "and family" following the name of a husband and wife is not used in polite society. ”

“ There is only one exception to the rule of the bride’s parents paying for the wedding cards, and this occurs when the wedding ceremony is performed quietly in church and the reception, for some reason, is held at the home of the groom’s parents, in which case they, as the entertainers, properly pay for, and issue, the cards of invitation. ”

“ When the circle of friends on both sides is very extensive, it has become customary of late to send invitations to such as are not called to the wedding breakfast, to attend the ceremony at church. This stands in the place of issuing cards. No one must think of calling on the newly married couple who has not received an invitation to the ceremony at church, or cards after their establishment in their new home. ”

“ On the Sunday preceding the wedding-day, every one who has accepted the invitation must send some present to the youthful pair, by one of their farm servants, who has been very carefully dressed, in order to produce a high idea of their consequence. ”

“ A man or woman unable to accept an invitation, extended by a hostess to whom he or she is a stranger, is obligated to leave cards within two weeks after the entertainment. Similarly, the guests, men and women, invited to the ceremony of a church wedding, leave cards for the bride's mother within two weeks after the wedding. Even though one is a stranger to the mother, this card must be left as a matter of courtesy and social obligation. People who receive cards announcing a marriage are also expected to leave cards for the mother of the bride. ”

“ If thar's anybody better experienced in that business than me and King Solomon I'd like to see the whites o' ther eyes; an' I tell you every time, if you want to get a good-natured, wood-cuttin', baby-tendin' husban' choose one that's fat in the face!"
A good many wedding presents commenced to coming in this morning, which was a sign that the invitations got to the people all right. You often hear of things being worth their weight in silver, but there's one thing you can count on it's being true about and that is wedding invitations. You never saw such delighted people as Julius and Marcella. ”

“ It should rather be said that any one who is invited is at liberty, but not under any obligation, to send a gift. Relatives and intimate friends would do so, whether invited or not. Circumstances may make it imperative to have the ceremony performed very quietly and to omit the usual reception. It is true that many of those invited to the bride’s house send a gift, though by no means all. A young woman who has a large wedding will receive more presents than one who simply sends out announcement cards after the ceremony. ”

“ On the day of the wedding the bride and groom do not see each other until they meet in church. After the ceremony the whole party goes to the house of the bride's parents, where a reception is held in honor of the event. When it is over, the young couple go to their own home, if they have one ”

“ The ceremony itself is simple and impressive. Friends and relatives generally are not present. The bride and groom are there, of course; besides these are the go-betweens of the couple, and a young girl, whose duty it is to take the cup of saké, or native wine of Japan, and press it successively to the lips of the contracting parties, emblematic of the coming joys and sorrows of their common married life. The wedding guests, who have been waiting in the next room, now appear with their congratulations, and merriment and feasting follow. ”

“ If the ceremony is to take place at a large church, invitations are often sent to all those on the visiting-lists of the parents of both young people, as well as to the friends of the latter. Some gracious and thoughtful brides do not forget to send to certain persons not on their visiting-lists—humble friends who sincerely appreciate such a remembrance. If a young woman prefers to have only her relatives and near friends present at her marriage, she will probably please her fiancé, for men usually dislike very much the parade and show of a large wedding. ”

“ At wedding receptions, friends who congratulate the newly married couple should address the bride first, if they have any previous acquaintance with her, then the bridegroom, then the bridemaids, and after that the parents and family of the bride and groom. They should give their good wishes to the bride and congratulate the bridegroom. If they are acquainted with the bridegroom and not with the bride, let them address him first and he will introduce them to his bride. ”

“ Everything is arranged, and the wedding-day arrives. Only the parents and a few friends are supposed to be present, and, at the appointed hour, the bridal party—consisting of the ushers and four bridesmaids, a maid-of-honor, and the bride, leaning upon her father's arm, proceed slowly to the altar, where they are met by the groom, best man, and clergyman. Then comes the ceremony, which seems just as real as if it were a bona-fide marriage, you know; and when the young couple turn to leave the church, as husband and wife, they remove their masks, and behold! the truth is revealed. ”

“ It may be that the woman who is to be married for the second time has no near relatives to serve as hosts for her. Her invitations may be like this:
The honor of your presence is requested
at the marriage of
Mrs. ”

“ It is a pleasant part of weddings everywhere that the faithful domestics who have loved the bride from childhood are expected to assist by their presence at the ceremony, each wearing a wedding favor made by the fair hand of the bride herself. ”

“ Announcement cards are sent after a wedding if there were no invitations issued. They are often sent instead of invitations to friends who live at too great a distance to be present at the ceremony. They require no acknowledgment though it is customary to send either a note expressing good wishes or a gift of some kind. If one lives in the same community one should call on the bride's mother, and if the bride's card in inclosed, on the bride herself shortly after she returns from the honeymoon. ”

“ Even this is not allowed in America among fashionable people, the bride's father sending them in his own carriage on the first stage of their journey. It is not etiquette for the groom to furnish anything for his own wedding but the ring and a bouquet for the bride, presents for the bridesmaids and the best man, and some token to the ushers. ”

“ At a home wedding, the bride often has but one girl attendant, and that one is the maid of honor. The bride tells her what kind of dress she wishes her to wear, and the bridegroom provides her bouquet for her. ”