Invitation card

“ A card should be sent on the day of the wedding, if one cannot attend, or if the invitation includes the reception, at the hour of receiving.
Wedding Gifts Wedding gifts are addressed to the bride in her maiden name, and should reach her before the day of the wedding. The sender's card is always enclosed.
Gifts are not so obligatory as heretofore, and are hardly sent unless the invitation includes a reception card. The bride must acknowledge all presents herself, writing a graceful, cordial note of a few lines, and neglecting no gift, however small, before she leaves. ”

“ Young men should be careful to write their street and number on their cards.
LEAVE CARDS AFTER AN INVITATION.
After an invitation, cards must be left upon those who have sent it, whether it is accepted or not. They must [Pg 81] be left in person, and if it is desired to end the acquaintance the cards can be left without inquiring whether the ladies are at home.
Gentlemen should not expect to receive invitations from ladies with whom they are only on terms of formal visiting, until the yearly or autumnal call has been made, or until their cards have been left to represent themselves. ”

“ The Guest's Name The guest's name is written on both invitation and reception card, and should correctly be added on the church presentation card as well, but as this necessitates a vast amount of writing, it is often omitted. A few enterprising women, in some of the larger cities, have taken up the work of filling in the wedding cards and attend also to addressing, stamping and mailing at a nominal charge. ”

“ If a man has been invited to the church but not to the wedding reception, he should leave a card for the bride's parents and the bridal couple, or should mail a card.
SENDING BY MAIL, OR MESSENGER. After an entertainment a man should call in person on host and hostess, whether the invitation was accepted or not. If a card is mailed or sent, it should be accompanied with an apology.
At the beginning of the season a man should leave cards for all those whose entertainments he is in the habit of attending, or on whom he pays social calls. ”

“ The wording of invitations, and the styles of cards, are so constantly changing, that it will not do to lay down rules. Cards of invitation to the wedding are usually sent out in the name of the mother. [See page 70.]
A few days before the return of the wedded pair, their own especial card is sent to those whom they desire shall call upon them, and whose acquaintance they wish to retain.
However plain the dress chosen for the occasion, gloves and shoes must be faultless. There should be flowers if possible; they are never more in place. ”

“ To write a letter asking for an invitation, or to answer a letter asking for an invitation, is in either case a difficult letter to write, as many have ere this discovered. When a married lady asks for an invitation for a young relative or friend staying with her, to some dance or "at home" to which she herself is invited, the note is simple enough, and the answer is generally a card of invitation or a written permission to bring her. ”

“ One does right in leaving a card on the hall table at a reception, and one need not call again. An invitation to one's house cancels all indebtedness. If a card is left on a lady's reception, she should make the next call, although many busy society women now never make calls, except when they receive invitations to afternoon teas or receptions.
When a gentleman calls on ladies who are at home, if he knows them well he does not send up a card; the servant announces his name. If he does not know them well, he does send up a card. One card is sufficient, but he can inquire for them all. ”

“ All these invitations in their envelopes may be enclosed in an outside envelope addressed to the parents.
A wedding invitation or announcement card should always be addressed to both members of a married couple, even if the bride or groom who sends it is acquainted with only one. ”

“ If the affair is in honor of some special person a card is left for or sent to that person in addition to the one for the hostess.
If posted cards of regret are sent by a single woman, she includes one for the débutante or for the guest of honor, in addition to the one enclosed for the hostess. The married woman adds to these two, three more of her husband's. A single man, under the same circumstances, sends three of his cards if the reception is given in honor of a débutante or a guest of honor (masculine or feminine) , and if the invitation was issued in the name of a host and hostess. ”

“ Fortunately, if the blunder is made of introducing uncongenial people they can easily drift apart again without rudeness on the part of either.
When any one is invited to a church wedding and cannot attend it is proper to send, on the day of the marriage, a card or cards to those who issued the invitations; one card, if one parent, or a guardian, invites; if the invitation is sent in the names of both parents, a card for each, inclosed in an envelope and addressed to both. ”

“ As young people are often asked without their parents, the question arises, What should the parents do to show their sense of this attention? They should leave or send their cards with those of their children who have received the invitation. These are cards of courtesy. Cards ought not to be left on the daughters of a family without also including the parents in courteous formality. Gentlemen, when calling on any number of ladies, send in only one card, and cards left on a reception day where a person is visiting are not binding on the visitor to return. ”

“ THERE IS NO form of stationery so dear to the feminine heart as the wedding card.Wedding Cards It piques the interest of every woman, married or single, into whose hands it chances on its travels, and leaves a flutter of delightful expectancy in its wake. The wording, paper, style and engraving of the wedding invitation must be unquestionably correct, or the success of the wedding, from its social side, is marred. ”

“ A card is usually left with a first invitation to a stranger who has brought a letter of introduction, but it is more polite—even though not necessary—to ask to be received. Some ladies make it a habit to leave a card on everyone on their visiting list once a season. ”

“ If other ladies than her daughters also receive with her, their [56] visiting-card may be enclosed in the same envelope with the hostess’ invitation. Should the lady-guest invite her own personal friends to meet her at the residence of her hostess for this day, she writes the number of her residence where she is to receive on New Year’s upon her own card, adding the receiving hours in ink, and she incloses the visiting-card of her hostess. ”

“ Wealthy people often place a special train at the disposal of special city friends whose presence is eagerly desired at the wedding. A card, like the one following, is enclosed with the invitation, and it serves as a pass, entitling the bearer to a seat in the reserved train. ”

“ For private theatricals, invitations follow very much the same form as those used for musicales. The hostess may either add the phrase, "Theatricals at nine o'clock," to her invitation, or she may issue engraved cards requesting the pleasure of a friend's company at Private Theatricals. The word "dancing" may be engraved in the left-hand corner of the card, if dancing is to follow the theatricals. It is courteous to send a reply to these invitations.
CHILDREN'S PARTY INVITATIONS
The invitation to the child's party is the one exception to the rule of simplicity. ”

“ The same rule applies to a wedding invitation. The acknowledgement is sent to the parties issuing the invitation, not to those to be married.
Must Not Ask Invitations.—It is not allowable to ask for an invitation to a dinner, a luncheon or a card party for a guest or friend. These are functions arranged for a definite number of guests; to include another person is not possible. If your hostess knows you have a guest, she will, if her arrangements make it practicable, include her ”

“ A woman's house address appears at the lower right corner of her card, her "At Home" day at the left. A receiving day never appears on a man's card. Should a woman use her visiting card as an invitation, she adds the date and hour in writing at the left corner. ”

“ As American schoolgirls often have a card with the prefix "Miss," the débutante may use this among her girl friends.
To write anything on an engraved card except "Condolences," "Congratulations," "P. p. c.," is not considered good style, although a lady may use her visiting card with [100] "Five o'clock tea," "Music," or a special date written upon it as an informal invitation to a musical or "At Home."
A business or professional woman may have, in addition to her society card, a card with her own name for business purposes. ”

“ A card represents a visit, or acknowledges a courtesy in the way of an invitation, There are well-defined rules which regulate the use of cards, familiarity with which is necessary to all who have social aspirations. ”

“ Cards for stag affairs have Old English pictures on a soft gray background; souvenir postals make interesting guest cards; tiny fans, playing cards, ribbons, cards cut out of water-color paper imitating flower pots with flowers in bloom, cards decorated with sketches of brides and bridegrooms, kodak pictures of familiar scenes, boats, different sports—you can scarcely go amiss on your cards—the more original they are the better. The card is laid on the napkin at dinner or luncheon, or if it has an easel-like back is fastened to the wineglass. ”

“ Announcement cards are sent after a wedding if there were no invitations issued. They are often sent instead of invitations to friends who live at too great a distance to be present at the ceremony. They require no acknowledgment though it is customary to send either a note expressing good wishes or a gift of some kind. If one lives in the same community one should call on the bride's mother, and if the bride's card in inclosed, on the bride herself shortly after she returns from the honeymoon. ”

“ When the host is a widower, or a bachelor, they should be issued in his name.
Invitations issued by officers, members of hunt committees, bachelors, etc., to their balls, either request the pleasure or the honour of Mrs. ——'s company; but this formula should not be used by ladies when issuing invitations; the "at home" card should simply bear the word "Dancing" on the bottom of the card, the hour and date filled in in the allotted space, the name of the guest written at the top of the card. ”

“ Cards for an unmarried gentleman should never be left by a lady, except in the case of his having given an entertainment at which ladies were present. In this case the lady of the house should drive to his door with her own cards and those of her family. Names of the young ladies should be engraved for the occasion upon the card of their mother or chaperon. The cards should be sent in by a servant. If a call is made upon a lady's regular reception day, it is rude to leave a card only, without entering and inquiring for the hostess. ”

“ Wedding cards should be as simple and unostentatious as possible.
The ceremony of paying visits and of leaving cards has been decided by the satirist as meaningless, stupid, and useless; but it underlies the very structure of society. Visits of form, visits of ceremony, are absolutely necessary. You can hardly invite people to your house until you have called and have left a card. And thus one has a safeguard against intrusive and undesirable acquaintances. To stop an acquaintance, one has but to stop leaving cards. ”

“ Friends of the groom who have no acquaintance with the bride's family should send their cards to those inviting them.
Those who do not receive wedding invitations, announcement, or "At Home" cards should not call on the married couple, but consider themselves as dropped from their circle of acquaintance.
WOMEN RECEIVING AND INVITING MEN. The invitation to call should be extended by the woman, and if she does not specify the time, will naturally be considered as an act of courtesy, but not as an invitation. ”

“ A young lady during her first year in society may leave her name on the same card with her mother's. If there are two débutante daughters, the joint card is made to suffice for all three. If a young lady using separate cards calls on a friend's day at home, she may put two cards into the tray on entering, if the hostess is receiving with a friend or daughter, or she may leave only one card, if she prefers. This is done only when the call is the first of the season, or when it is in return for some entertainment. ”

“ To return a call, made in person, with cards inclosed in an envelope is an intimation that the sender is not desirous to continue the acquaintance.
“As regards leaving cards upon new acquaintances,” says the English authority already quoted, “a gentleman may not leave a card upon a married lady, or the mistress of a house, to whom he has been introduced, however gracious or agreeable she may have been, unless she expressly asks him to call, or gives him to understand in an unmistakable manner that his doing so would be agreeable to her. ”

“ If calling upon one young lady, only one card should be delivered at the door; if on two ladies, two cards are required. It is unnecessary that more than two should be sent up, even if the call is made on the whole family. This rule applies, also, in delivering cards at receptions, teas, afternoon musicales, and the like. Always send cards on occasions when you cannot attend in person. When calling upon ladies visiting a card should also be sent to their hostess. ”