Eugène Labiche

“ PERRICHON.—Mais vous avez écrit le premier une note... plus que vive [2] !
LE COMMANDANT.—Moi? je me suis borné à constater que mer de Glace ne prenait pas d'e à la fin: voyez le dictionnaire...
PERRICHON,—Eh! monsieur! vous n'êtes pas chargé de corriger mes... prétendues fautes d'orthographe! De quoi vous mêlez-vous? (Ils se lèvent.)
LE COMMANDANT.—Pardon... pour moi, la langue française est une compatriote aimée... une dame de bonne maison, élégante, mais an peu cruelle [3] ... vous le savez mieux que personne. ”

“ ARMAND.—Laquelle?
DANIEL.—Je me suis laissé glisser... exprès! dans une petite crevasse... pas méchante.
ARMAND.—Exprès?
DANIEL.—Vous ne comprenez pas? Donner à un carrossier l'occasion de sauver son semblable, sans danger pour lui, c'est un coup de maître! Aussi, depuis ce jour, je suis sa joie, son triomphe, son fait d'armes! Dès que je parais, sa figure s'épanouit, son estomac se gonfle, il lui pousse des plumes de paon [9] ! dans sa redingote!... Je le tiens, comme la vanité tient l'homme!... Quand il se refroidit, je le ranime, je le souffle... ”

“ MADAME PERRICHON.—Mais avec qui?
PERRICHON.—Avec un commandant au deuxième zouaves!
MADAME PERRICHON et HENRIETTE, effrayées.—Ah! grand Dieu!
PERRICHON.—Demain, à midi, dans le bois de la Malmaison, à la porte du garde!
MADAME PERRICHON, allant à lui.—Mais tu es fou... toi! un bourgeois!
PERRICHON.—Madame Perrichon, je blâme le duel... mais il y a des circonstances où l'homme se doit à son honneur! (A part, montrant sa lettre.) Où est donc Jean? ”

“ Tiens, qui est-ce qui a écrit ça?
TOUS.—Quoi donc [7] ?
PERRICHON, lisant.—«Je ferai observer à monsieur Perrichon que la mer de Glace n'ayant pas d'enfants, l'E qu'il lui attribue devient un dévergondage grammatical [8] .» ”

“ PERRICHON.—Oui, madame!... l'homme qui a risqué sa vie pour sauver son semblable peut être fier de lui-même... mais j'aime mieux me renfermer dans un silence modeste... signe caractéristique du vrai courage!
MADAME PERRICHON.—Mais tout cela n'empêche pas que M. Armand...
PERRICHON.—Henriette n'aime pas... ne peut pas aimer M. Armand! ”

“ Majorin, se promenant avec impatience.—Ce Perrichon n'arrive pas! Voilà une heure que je l'attends... C'est pourtant bien [5] aujourd'hui qu'il doit partir pour la Suisse avec sa femme et sa fille... (Avec amertume.) Des carrossiers [6] qui vont en Suisse! Des carrossiers qui ont quarante mille livres de rentes! Des carrossiers qui ont voiture! Quel siècle! Tandis que moi, je gagne deux mille quatre cents francs... un employé laborieux, intelligent, toujours courbé sur son bureau... Aujourd'hui, j'ai demandé un congé... j'ai dit que j'étais de garde [7] ... ”

“ But every one of the men is carefully and consistently drawn, from the fussy, pompous Perrichon to the well-meaning Jean. The susceptible Major offers the humorous contrast of his exquisitely smooth speech and manners with his uncompromising exaction of all that is due himself and his «beloved compatriot,» the French language. Armand and Daniel are both of them gentlemen and good fellows, yet they are most significantly distinguished: the former guileless, frank, simple, the latter artful and ingenious ”

“ DANIEL.—En route! (Daniel et Perrichon sortent suivis de l'aubergiste.)
ACTE II, SCÈNE VIII ARMAND, puis L'AUBERGISTE et LE COMMANDANT MATHIEU
ARMAND.—Quel singulier revirement chez Daniel! Ces dames sont là... elles ne peuvent tarder à sortir [1] , je veux les voir... leur parler... (S'asseyant vers la cheminée et prenant un journal.) Je vais les attendre.
L'AUBERGISTE, à la cantonade.—Par ici, monsieur!...
LE COMMANDANT, entrant.—Je ne reste qu'une minute... je repars à l'instant pour là mer de Glace... (S'asseyant devant la table sur laquelle est resté le registre ouvert.) ”

“ DANIEL.—L'ingratitude est une variété de l'orgueil... ”

“ PERRICHON, ému.—Daniel, mon ami, mon enfant... votre main! (Il lui prend la main.) Je vous dois les plus douces émotions de ma vie... Sans moi, vous ne seriez qu'une masse informe et repoussante, ensevelie sous les frimas... Vous me devez tout, tout! (Avec noblesse.) Je ne l'oublierai jamais!
DANIEL.—Ni moi!
PERRICHON, à Armand, en s'essuyant les yeux.—Ah! jeune homme!... vous ne savez pas le plaisir qu'on éprouve à sauver son semblable! ”

“ When a sword breaks, the combatant is in a fix, and the whole thing is spoilt. 4. «You sent me a note last night, here I am. What is it?» 5. «I am going on the field with a major.»—«You! nonsense!»—«What do you mean by [1] nonsense!» 6. When is this duel to come off?»—«We meet to-day at two o'clock and you must be my second.»—«Excuse me, I cannot. It is as much as my place is worth.» 7. Those [2] whom we have obliged may be asked to help us in the crises of our lives. 8. When you have paid him back all you owe him, you and he [3] will be quits. ”

“ A tradesman aping the nobility! A mere carriage maker enjoying a lordly income! A carriage maker keeping a carriage!—a humorous climax. Observe the meanness of Majorin: he professes to be a friend of Perrichon's, borrows money from him at the most inconvenient time, and yet behind his back sneers at him from the fancied vantage ground of «not being in trade» himself.
7: de garde: during the Second Empire (the reign of Napoleon III, 1852-1870) a National Guard was instituted, to which every citizen must belong. ”

“ MADAME PERRICHON.—C'est un bien grand malheur qu'il ait son infirmité!
ARMAND.—Certainement... c'est un bien grand malheur! ”

“ We may well feel proud when we have risked our lives to save that of our fellow-man. 2. I bear you no malice, only [1] you change your mind too often. 3. The mark of true courage is modesty and silence, 4. A gentleman never takes advantage of the services he may [2] have done a friend. 5. «Do make up your mind!»—«Must I give Henrietta's young man an answer?» 6. «Why, unless you have anything against him, there is no reason why you should not do so.» 7. «All right then, I will speak to him. But do not always harp on the same thing; it gets to be tiresome.» ”

“ Thrifty people [4] put down [5] their traveling expenses in a note-book. 4. Those who forget where they have put their things [6] often scold others [7] . 5. «What is the proper tip for a porter?» «We might give him four cents, but let us make it ten cents.» 6. «I must have left my valise in the waiting-room. I will go after [8] it. 7. At last I have found it.» «It is time you had!» 8. When the bell rings, passengers run up, are stopped by the man at the waiting-room door who wants to see their tickets, and pass in. ”

“ The major is a tough customer. 4. When strikes the hour for the duel [2] , the combatants [3] will not flinch. 5. It is my business to pick holes in your spelling. 6. If a patrol turns up in the nick of time, the duel will be prevented [4] . 7. When two men are going to fight a [5] duel, they put their papers in order. 8. John, why did you let that man in?"—«What was I to do? I took him for a traveling acquaintance [6] of yours.» 9. A business man with a commission in the militia is not a real soldier. ”

“ Un commerçant ne se retire pas aussi facilement des affaires qu'une petite fille de son pensionnat... ”

“ DANIEL.—Oui, mais moi, je me cache... je me masque! Quand je pénètre dans la misère de mon semblable, c'est avec des chaussons et sans lumière... comme dans une poudrière! ”

“ Success [6] belongs to those who believe they will succeed. 9. The road you are following is not the highway [7] , but I think you will succeed none the less for that. 10. When Daniel has finished speaking, he goes back.
[1: Use future.] [2: le plus court (put after the noun) .] [3: toujours.] [4: fermer.] [5: le (lit., «it») .] [6: Sucçès, m.] [7: Tr. «everybody's road.»]
XV ACT II, SCENE VIII 1. While Armand is waiting for the ladies, the voice [1] of the major is [2] heard off the stage. 2. He enters, sits down, and catching sight of the visitors' book, reads what Mr. ”

“ The Mer de Glace is full [1] of holes, crevasses, and dangerous places. 2. «You may say what you please, I had not lost my presence of mind.» «You don't say?» 3. Do not take an aversion to anybody [2] . 4. Here, take this book and write something pretty in it. 5. I have just put on my overshoes to go for a walk [3] on the ice. 6. As I was rolling down, I spied a little tree, which I caught hold of. 7. I was fished up by an innkeeper whom I gave two hundred francs to: a fair price. 8. Gratitude is due [4] to those who have done you a service. 9. «Say, will you join us?» ”

“ If you write a few words to the chief of police, the matter [1] will be dropped. 2. There is nothing to be delighted [2] about when one has had to [3] apologize. 3. A reward of two hundred francs is not enough for saving a man's life. 4. Henrietta is as kindly disposed towards you as her mother. 5. A gentleman [4] does not thrust himself into other people's lives. 6. «It cannot be denied; I irritate him.»—«Well, I declare!» 7. Well-bred young ladies in France share their parents' feelings. 8. I will not go so far as to say that I am positive of his utter dislike ”

“ «You will not shake hands with me now, will you?»—«Well, I declare! Why not?» 3. Bring me my money later; there is no hurry about it. 4. I am going back to Switzerland accompanied by Henrietta and her mother. 5. Eaves-dropping [1] is a bad habit. 6. We love the places where we have been happy. 7. Shall you be at home to-night? I may come and drink a cup of tea with you, may I not? 8. Henrietta cannot guess why her father wishes to revisit the Mer de Glace when they have just come back from the place. 9. Those who speak lower are better liked. ”

“ The reason is [3] that she has notified not only [4] the chief of police, but also [5] her best friend, Mr. Armand, who will prevent [6] the duel from coming off. 3. So she tells her father to make haste and to try to be back by dinner-time. 4. It is agreeable to be rid of a hustling rival. 5. When a man has nicely laid his little plans, he hates to see them interfered with [7] . 6. It is a quarter to one; the pay-window must [8] be open and you can get your dividend. ”

“ «Hello, Armand!» exclaims the other, «you should [3] look out!» «You were not paying attention yourself!» 3. But they do not scold one another long. 4. They discover [4] that they are about to [5] travel together. 5. They are in attendance upon a charming young lady whom they both of them love andwish to marry. 6. As they cannot both marry her, they decide then and there [6] , on the step of the railroad car, to go on merrily with their trip and in friendly competition to try to win her affection each one for himself. ”

“ «There's the bell! It isthey!» «Nonsense, it is not yet twelve.» «Yes [2] , it is they. I know master's ring.» 4. What a lot of bandboxes and valises they have! 5. When we get home again after a trip, we find on the table all the letters, visiting-cards, and newspapers that have come for us while we were away. 6. People do not return stouter when they have not had a pleasant trip. 7. «May I relieve you of your parcels?»—«Why, certainly!» 8. We owe him a call: he came every day to inquire when we should be back, and is to call again to-day. ”

“ A family [1] arrives at the station in a cab. 2. They [2] call aporter, who comes with a truck for the baggage. 3. Then [3] a heap [4] of overcoats, umbrellas, and handbags are taken out [5] of the cab, and the father goes to the ticket-window to buy the tickets. 4. They are generally [6] ahead of time, but they have hurried [7] and are hot. 5. Perhaps [8] they have not had time to [9] finish their lunch, and the French do not like to miss their half-cup [10] of coffee after their meals [11] . 6. When the tickets have been purchased, the baggage can be checked. ”

“ Why do you not motion him to leave the room? 2. I have discharged my man; he is packing up. 3. The words you wrote are spread out in full, right in the middle of a page in the visitors' book. 4. You are too plucky to climb down. 5. They have had nothing to do with this incident. 6. I have always looked my adversaries in the eye. 7. When you have offended anybody, it is magnanimous to acknowledge yourself in the wrong. 8. I am very sorry to have left [1] those ill-natured lines where they may be read by everybody. 9. Go and [2] erase them of your own accord, instead of making matters worse. ”

“ Make sure you have got hold of your victim before you give him a chance to cool off. 2. Give me time [1] to collect my thoughts and I will let you know my answer. 3. People wear soft shoes when they go into a powder-magazine. 4. There was a grand final display to those fireworks. 5. Mark my words: Gratitude is a crushing burden for fools, and even [2] for many clever folk. ”

“ It can't be helped! You have all the luck. I give way to you.» 3. «Do you really think that you have lost Henrietta?' 4. «I withdraw because I think so [2] : I am not making you any sacrifice at all.» 5. «Then may I ask a favor of you?» «Why, certainly.» 6. «Go to her father and tell him that I wish to marry his daughter. I shall owe [3] you such [4] gratitude!» 7. «My! but that is a queer request to make! Anyhow, don't worry! Being a nice little rival, I will do as you say [5] . 8. Your rival wishes you better [6] luck than he has [7] had himself [8] .» ”

“ It means: «He is a truer example (of ideal ingratitude) than nature (usually) affords.» If that does not beat all!
2: ne vous gênez pas: Do as you please. Lit., «Do not put yourself out (for us) .»
3: r, e, re; just as we might say: «S, e, e: see.»
ACTE II, SCÈNE VIII 1: sortir: i.e. from their room.
2: Faîtes-moi servir: observe the great politeness that characterizes the Major throughout. He begs the innkeeper to «have a cherry-brandy served him,» not to bring it himself.
3: tout: before en and the present participle, merely emphasizes the fact that the two actions are simultaneous. ”

“ «I am going away.»—«Why so?»—«To stay would be painful to me.»—«There now! When I am so fond of you!»—«We are never to meet again.»—«No! You shall stay!»—«Well, I will [3] .»
[1: Supply «which.»] [2: Il faut.] [3: Supply «stay.»]
XXIII ACT III, SCENE IX 1. When we took a trip abroad two years ago we met a very dear fellow-countrywoman of ours, a perfect lady. 2. To succeed you must be persistent. 3. Do not leave your things [1] lying about on the furniture. 4. «What can that be?»—«A mistake in spelling.»—«Not at all!» 5. You have shown your mettle: you cannot back down. ”

“ Où M. Perrichon trouve-t-il les billets qu'il croit perdus?
VIII ACT I, SCENE IX 1. Par qui Daniel est-il heurté? 2. Que vient-il de faire? 3. Où vont ces deux jeunes gens? 4. Pourquoi partent-ils? 5. Qui se disposent-ils à suivre? 6. Pourquoi suivent-ils cette jeune personne? 7. Que propose Daniel? 8. Comment Armand reçoit-il cette proposition? 9. Quelle sorte de livre M. Perrichon désire-t-il? 10. Quel livre achète-t-il?
IX ACT II, SCENE I 1. Décrivez le décor [1] du second acte. 2. Que voit-on par les fenêtres de l'auberge? 3. Que font Armand et Daniel? 4. Où vont-ils après déjeuner? 5. ”

“ There are several inns at Montanvert in Switzerland. 3. From this window you can see a snow-covered mountain. 4. Will you have an omelet, ladies? 5. Standing by the open fireplace were several travelers, and among [1] them a young nobleman who had just [2] come in followed by two guides. 6. A war to the death is sometimes a loyal struggle. 7. It is greedy to eat too many chocolate wafers. 8. Why can't you sit still? 9. The spring of a railroad-car window-shade often gets out of order [3] . 10. The travels of leisured people may last a long time. ”

“ But he very much wants to be put in prison, and, having the law on his side, earnestly begs Armand to set the law in motion on his return to Paris. 6. The major is in love, which is ridiculous at his time of life. 7. He wants to be locked up; he has not yet tried this form of cure. 8. Armand promises to do him this service, since he insists upon it.
[1: voix, f.] [2: Tr. «makes itself.»] [3: quoi.]
XVI ACT II, SCENE IX 1. A gentleman always asks leave to place himself at a lady's orders. 2. Do stand erect, boy! ”